SPOILER ALERT!

This is written before the episode Love Is Blind has aired in the USA but after it aired in Canada. If you haven't seen the episode and don't want to be spoiled, DO NOT READ.

And thank you for reading my story and thank you for the reviews :)

Mommy's boy

"So it turns out that you take after you Mother, and not your Father," Nyx observed. "Whoever he might be."

"Who would have thought," House had to shake his head. "I was so sure I knew her, but it seems that into my Dad's shadow she hid a whole different life."

"A life that wasn't that very different from the one you're living," Nyx mused. "Drugs, almost indiscriminate sex, defying authority and who knows what else."

"Definitely not boring," House nodded.

"No wonder she has always understood you so well," Nyx stated. "And known when you lie."

"True," House agreed. "I probably learned all my tells from her. I just didn't know it."

"Amazing how different your Mom and Dad were," Nyx marvelled. "How did they even get together?"

"I don't know why she married my Dad," House pondered. "But she must have loved him at least some of the time. Though divorce was getting somewhat acceptable in the sixties it would have been very bad for his career. She must have stayed married for his sake. And, apparently, she still found a way to do whatever she wanted."

"He was away for long periods of time," Nyx noted. "And I'm sure she wasn't the only military wife who run a bit wild. They probably covered for each other, too."

"More than likely, now that I think of it," House agreed. "And stepping out with the Chaplain could easily be covered up as voluntary work. I still can't quite wrap my mind around it. For years I have been wondering about my origins, why I am what I am, and to find out that the answer has been right there, under my nose and I just didn't see it. Apparently I'm not as observant as I like to think."

"Love is blind," Nyx explained. "It's not just blind to faults, it can also disguise the whole person. When you fall in love you fall in love with the image you see at that moment. And that idea will inform all your subsequent interpretations of the person you love, unless something drastic happens and you have to adjust the image itself. When a child loves a parent, the image isn't an instant, but it is based on very early experiences and it does dominate. A child sees his parents firstly as parents – which is only one part of who they really are. It is difficult for a child, even when he grows up, to see the parents as individuals, as people separate from their roles as parents. You managed to do that with your Dad a lot sooner, mainly because there was so much conflict between you and because you realised so early on that he wasn't your biological parent. You saw who he was as a man, and you respected his adherence to his principles, his commitment to his country and his career. But you could also hate him as the lousy Dad that he was. With your Mom, you haven't been able to see the difference between Mother and a woman, until possibly now?"

"Well, this has definitely been an eye opening experience," House allowed.

"And you have to admit that Thomas was right," Nyx suggested. "At least partly. Your Mother's choices did screw up your childhood."

"Maybe," House considered. "But Thomas was also wrong. He said that had he known – or in this case believed – that I was his son, he could have done something for me. I don't see how that made any difference. If he believed that John was too hard on me or that Blythe was not protecting me enough or whatever it is he thinks was the problem, he was still in a position to try and help. It should not have made any difference that I wasn't his child, I was still a child. He was my Dad's best friend at one time; he was in a position to try and advice him. And not least because he was the Chaplain."

"So you think it takes 'a village' to raise a kid?" Nyx asked.

"It also takes a village to save one," House shrugged. "I do believe my Mom did her best in the circumstances that were."

"But the circumstances were of her own choosing," Nyx pointed out. "And she landed you in the middle of her choices."

"I don't know why she did what she did," House sighed. "She must have had her reasons. Maybe she truly believed that a boy needs a father. Intellectually I might need to blame her more than I do, but what I feel is not what my brain dictates but what my memories dictate. When I was little, I did admire my Dad and we had a good enough relationship. Not all was bad. But when I grew up and started to question his beliefs and especially his authority things changed. I remember that I was always happy with my Mom, especially when we were home alone. And I hated the times when my Dad was with us."

"But you still found her boring?" Nyx questioned.

"Boring is a good quality in a Mother," House reminded her. "Especially when you are little. Later on you tend to get wrapped up in your own life and it doesn't matter that much."

"But now you found out that she isn't nearly as boring as you used to think," Nyx concluded. "The interesting thing is that even when you thought she was boring her opinion of you and your actions still mattered to you. Even though your history of her was that she thinks you're perfect exactly as you are."

"She is my Mother," House said. "I don't want to disappoint her."

"Apparently she feels the same about you," Nyx pondered. "Why else did it take her three years to tell you that she had married so soon after your Dad's death."

"I don't really understand that," House frowned. "She knew how I felt about Dad. So, fine, maybe two months was a bit soon and I might have had some objections, though I really can't see why. And even if I had, she is my Mother; I can't exactly disown her or anything. Strange that it took her so long to tell me. I was in prison for only a year, not three!"

"But even though you're an ex-con now, she is still proud of you," Nyx stated. "She came to your defence in a hurry when Thomas blew his casket."

"Yeah," House didn't sound too impressed.

"What?" Nyx demanded.

"She has always told me that she is proud of me," House sighed. "But with Dad, though she did her best to comfort me, she didn't really defend me. She did try to defuse the situation between us, and she tried to steer us around each other to avoid arguments and clashes, but she didn't really defend me like she did with Thomas. Of course, Thomas and I will never live in the same house and I don't need to depend on him for anything, so the situation is different. He is also a very different kind of man than Dad was; had she defended me to my Dad, it would probably had made things even worse."

"Do you blame her now?" Nyx asked.

"No," House considered the matter. "I don't think I do. There are so many things that I don't know. I genuinely do believe that she did her best and she was a good Mother – when Dad wasn't around. I can't just ignore all my childhood memories and rethink them. I love her. And now I also find her interesting. I'm cool with that."

"And your Father?" Nyx queried.

"Which one?" House countered. "My dead Dad, my new Step-Dad – who incidentally thinks he is my real Dad – or my real Dad, who I have no clue about?"

"Any and all," Nyx invited.

"My Dad is dead," House contemplated. "John House was the only Dad I really knew. He was lousy at it, but I suppose he did his best. I can't love him, but I did respect him for not being a hypocrite. Thomas, on the other hand, I don't know what I think of him. He is my Mom's husband now, so I have to accept him. But he betrayed my Dad, supposedly his best friend. Wilson may find him nice and charming, but I think I'm rather glad he isn't really my bio-Dad. As for the bio-Dad, whoever he might be, I don't think it matters. My search for him was always part of my search for myself. I wanted to know why I am what I am. Now I know that I take much more after my Mom than I ever believed possible. My bio-Dad is suddenly irrelevant. I don't think I care."

"I suppose that makes sense," Nyx accepted. "But I can't help but wonder a bit about the birthmarks. They are hereditary, after all."

"But not necessarily totally unique," House considered. "Probably just coincidences."

"You hate coincidences," Nyx stated.

"But sometimes they do happen," House said. "Sometimes they do happen."