Children

"A fake child!" Nyx laughed. "Even I find it hard to believe you'd go that far."

"It needed to be done," House shrugged.

"Based on what?" Nyx asked. "So he was showing signs of regretting not having had a child? Surely he would have gotten over it, people do."

"And the way Wilson gets over something like that is by getting married," House pointed out. "Or at least getting involved with another woman, and possibly one who is also showing similar signs of wishing to breed and before I would have known I'd have had two Taubs on my hands. Only with Wilson I would have been expected to be involved with the kid, too."

"You like kids," Nyx ventured.

"When I can return them to their parents after ten minutes with a pithy comment about their parenting," House reminded her. "That isn't what Wilson would have needed."

"You were fine with Rachel," Nyx said almost in whisper.

"She wasn't mine either and Cuddy didn't need me," House stated sternly closing that conversation.

"But the scenario you created for Wilson wasn't realistic," Nyx returned to the original topic.

"Only in the sense that the kid was nice and the liking was instant," House shrugged. "I speeded up the process because child actors don't really come cheap. Plus we needed to work around his parents."

"How did you 'work around' them, and his agent?" Nyx queried. "Surely they would have objected strongly to what you hired him for."

"But they had no problem with a surprise birthday gift to an avid Days of Our Lives fan," House smiled cunningly. "Once that was Ok'd the kid was quite happy with the change of plans and not telling his parents about them. Apparently he isn't quite as nice as his parents' think he is."

"But I still fail to see why you did it," Nyx shook her head at him. "I mean, just think of the retaliation he is even now planning!"

"Nah, he can't top this," House dismissed. "Besides, he needs his sleep. It wouldn't do that both of us sleep at work."

"But still, even if you did help him sleep through the night with babies crying next door, why do it?" Nyx demanded.

"Because he had an unrealistic idea of what it would be like to have a child," House sighed. "Yes, the exact scenario I created was somewhat contrived and sugary to start with, but overall it wasn't too far from what the truth would have been had Wilson had a child with any of his wives or girlfriends."

"Explain," Nyx requested.

"Just think about the women in Wilson's life," House invited. "Had Sam found out that she was pregnant after she sent her lawyer over to Wilson to get the divorce, she most likely would not have told Wilson about the child at all. In that case Wilson would have found out that he was a Dad only when Sam came back, and after twenty years the kid would have been an adult and who knows what Sam would have told him about Wilson. Highly unlikely that they would have formed a father-son bond, Wilson would have been lucky to form any kind of relationship with the boy – or girl as case might have been."

"Knowing Sam, that is quite possible," Nyx had to admit. "And knowing Sam, had the kid been a girl Wilson would have been lucky had his potential daughter wanted to even talk to him."

"Now Bonnie, then – provided that she didn't drop the baby on its head killing it the first week – would have been a different problem," House pondered. "They might have stayed married for the kids even after Wilson's infidelities – and I suspect had Bonnie had kids there would have been even more of them – or they might have divorced sooner just because they could not have agreed on how to raise them and would have argued all the time, eventually coming to the conclusion that the arguing is not good for the kids. The kids would have stayed with Bonnie who would have called Wilson at every crisis; and with her pretty much everything is a crisis, and Wilson would have been torn up between his kids and his patients. He would probably have drafted me into babysitting or just picking up the kids every now and then and that would not have sat well with Bonnie and between us all the kids would have hated us all and Wilson – and Bonnie – both would drown in guilt. Not a good situation for anyone."

"Not to mention your drug addiction and all the pressure trying to look after you would have caused Wilson," Nyx mused. "He would have been a basket case years ago."

"Most probably," House admitted. "Now, had he had a child with Julie, the kid would hate him. Yes, it was Julie who cheated, but I doubt she would tell it to the kid – or at least she would find a way to blame it on Wilson. She was good that way, making him feel guilty for things that she did."

"You never did like Julie, did you?" Nyx smiled.

"I never liked any of his wives," House said. "He has an atrocious taste in women. Well, except possibly Amber."

"But you don't think she would have made a good mother?" Nyx asked.

"Amber?" House paused. "Amber is dead. Had she given Wilson a child before she died – had there even been time for that – Wilson would be a single Dad and that would have been a whole different ball game."

"True that," Nyx nodded. "So you really think that – given the potential mothers and the likely way the relationship would have gone even with a child – Wilson is lucky that he never procreated?"

"Totally," House replied with conviction.

"Well, you have been there for over twenty years, so probably you know what you're talking about," Nyx admitted – even if she wasn't completely convinced. They sat in silence for a moment, then Nyx had another question: "So what is going on with Chase and Park? First she moves in with him and neither can give a good reason for it and then she moves back home, and again neither can come up with a good explanation."

"Who knows," House shook his head trying to figure out the puzzle. "It's a bit like Chase and Cameron all over again, except Park is playing Chase and Chase isn't hot for me. But mainly I think that this time Chase just indulged in a little PoPo-napping."

"You think Chase envied Park for her family?" Nyx assumed. "Do you think he manipulated the situation on purpose?"

"There is no way he could have figured that PoPo would follow Park," House insisted. "Nor that he would actually like PoPo. He just got lucky. And Park learned a lesson: running away doesn't mean your problems won't just follow you."

"So now Chase has a 'Grand-Mother' for the first time in his life," Nyx concluded. "Park has some breathing space, Wilson is no longer pining for a child and you have your life back to normal – or what passes for normal with you. In other words everybody's happy."

"I think I'd go with 'content' not happy," House corrected. "But other than that, nice summary."