Goodbye

"I'm glad you never say 'die'," Nyx stated when she walked up to House.

"Me, too," House admitted throwing a few more stones into the river.

"It got a bit too close there for a moment," Nyx admonished him mildly. "You got me worried."

"Then why didn't you show up to tell me not to be a fool?" House asked.

"Because I didn't want you to think that Darkness was welcoming you," Nyx said. "You needed to find your will to live. For some reason you had misplaced it, and at a rather crucial time, too."

"Yeah, I was rather leaning towards that 'not to be' option there," House confessed. "Fortunately all's well that ends well."

"This isn't the end yet, you know," Nyx pointed out.

"I know," House smiled. "And that is a very good thing."

"I agree," Nyx smiled back. "And you were right; what you did was exactly the right thing to do. Yes, you may pay through the nose for it eventually, but this was the only way you could give Wilson the five months that he should have. You had to die."

"I know," House sighed. "I am a little sorry for all the grief I caused – some of it real grief, too not just aggravation, but Wilson needs to be free for his last months. Maybe a good lawyer could have destroyed the case they had against me for vandalism since all they had were the tickets that would have my fingerprints on them, and there are plenty of people in the hospital who do have it in for me. Easy enough to create reasonable doubt at least. But even then I would still have been on parole and unable to leave the state. And I would have needed to work as a condition of that parole. No way could I have taken five months off to do whatever we want, wherever we want."

"And since the hospital was sending you to prison anyway, you didn't actually bale out on your patients either. Even if you had been able to stay out of prison the board would most likely not have wanted to keep you," Nyx added. "For those who knew you, it should look like you just ended it on your own terms – I am actually surprised that Wilson didn't say something like that in his eulogy. You were losing your licence as a doctor, you were about to go to prison and your best friend was about to die. For you to go out in flames – though you did it a little more literally than that phrase normally indicates – is exactly what they should have expected of you."

"I expect that that is what they say now," House shrugged. "But most of them didn't really know me as well as they thought."

"So do you think you will go back one day after, you know, and show them that they got some of it wrong?" Nyx asked.

"I'm not sure," House shrugged again. "Once Wilson has gone, things may look different. On the other hand, we have been on the road for a few days now, and I like it more and more. Besides, if I go to prison, chances are that I can't fulfil my promise to Thirteen."

"You still intend to do that?" Nyx asked.

"A promise is a promise," House insisted. "And I'm not really dead. Besides she has more than five months so I do have time to plan."

"But how will you know when she needs you?" Nyx wondered.

"That's what private dicks are for," House explained. "They find out about people if you pay them to do so."

"Lucas?" Nyx stared at him.

"He's not the only dick in the world," House scoffed. "I found him, I'll find another. Besides, Foreman can keep me posted. I may not need an investigator at all because later I might be able to do the surveillance myself. But that is for later. I'll think about it when I have to. Now it's all about Wilson."

"Foreman?" Nyx frowned puzzled. "He knows?"

"I left him enough clues that if I trained him right he should figure it out," House explained. "If not, he's going to get hell of a surprise one of these days. Maybe."

"Do you have any plans for now then? Or are you just letting the wind take you where it may?" Nyx asked.

"I think the wind will have it for now," House replied. "Later is up to Wilson."

"You know what he will ask of you, don't you?" Nyx said.

"He doesn't have to ask," House stated.

"I think he has finally figured that one out," Nyx smiled. "He is learning things about you he never gave himself a chance to see."

"That was because I was alive," House noted. "I'm dead now and everybody loves you when you're dead."

"They did say a lot of nice things about you at the funeral," Nyx observed. "But I think they all believed those things even when you were alive. You just didn't give them a chance to say them. Taub did take the time to tell you that you're not a bully, but other than that, you kept them jumping so much they hardly had time to think. You changed their lives for the better; you made them better people and not just better doctors."

"You are exaggerating," House declared. "I didn't change them in any way. People don't change. I may have pushed them to be the best doctors they can be, but that's about it."

"No, you pushed them to be better people as well," Nyx maintained. "You made them face situations and choices that most everyone else would have just avoided. You never cared about doctors' oaths and codes of ethics because you know that most people just mouth them and never really think what all those words mean. Or even if they do think, they choose to follow them blindly so that they don't need to take responsibility for their actions. Just following orders. But that has never been enough for you and you didn't let it be enough for your team either. You forced them to face the situations where you have to decide what you can live with and what you can't."

"Really?" House sounded sceptical. "So Taub really is a better father because of me? Come on!"

"Yes he is," Nyx wasn't deterred. "You made him face fatherhood and what it truly means so that when his daughters come to him at the age of twelve, and tell him that they have figured out that he can't be their biological Dad, he will be able to look them straight in the eyes and say: 'so what? I'm still not letting you date boys before you're thirty'. And that will be thanks to you."

"That remains to be seen," House muttered.

"And you may even see it," Nyx laughed. "Just admit it. You forced them to figure out who they were and what they could be. True, none of the others faced a situation as spectacular as Chase, but they all went through a crucible of some kind and they all came through in their own way and became better. All of your 'little ducklings' will be swans thanks to you."

"Not bad for a swan song," House said. "Were that true, that is. I still don't think people change and what change they may now perceive in themselves will not last that long. Dying may change everything, but only for the one who dies. The rest revert to normal sooner or later."

"Only those who were close to the death due to proximity," Nyx argued. "Family and true friends will change. Maybe not a lot, maybe they will just open their eyes and realise that they need to enjoy life more, spend more time with loved ones, say 'I love you' more often. Or maybe just take more responsibility of their own lives and in their own lives. The change may actually be a very small one, but later, when they look back they see that though the path only diverged, it made all the difference."

They sat in silence for a time soaking in the sounds of the river and the scents of the garden.

"So if I go back," House pondered. "Do you think I will screw up all the changes that you claim I have influenced?"

"Only if they are idiots enough to let you control their lives," Nyx replied. "You have influenced them more than maybe anyone else in their lives, but it's still their lives. Not your fault if they screw up."

"They may not see it that way," House suggested.

"Then they need to grow up some more," Nyx shrugged.

"Maybe," House nodded. "Or maybe they will never know. I may not go back at all."

"The world is your oyster," Nyx said. "You really can do pretty much anything you want."

"I want to make sure Wilson has the time of his life," House stated simply. "He has never allowed himself have much fun, at least not without me forcing him. It's time. Now he has no excuses for not living the dream."

"You will both make this time count," Nyx reassured him. "Enjoy yourselves."

"That sounded final somehow?" House questioned Nyx's tone.

"It should," Nyx confirmed. "I came to say goodbye. At least for now."

"You're leaving me?" House was surprised.

"It's time for you to face light now," Nyx explained. "These need to be the halcyon days and you cannot carry Darkness with you if you are going to give Wilson what he needs. I won't be far away, you know that, but you need to face light."

"As long as I don't melt my wings," House added ruefully.

"You are a phoenix, not Icarus," Nyx reminded him. "You were reborn in a fire and now is the time to fly. And you are flying – you both are."

"I will miss you," House sighed.

"Likewise," Nyx responded. "May the sun shine warm upon your face, House."

"Until we see again," House nodded.

"Goodbye, House," Nyx smiled and faded away gently into the darkness.

"Goodbye."

Thank you for reading, thank you for reviews. This is the last chapter for Nyx, I hope you liked her.