Present
Hermione stared at the sandwich on the plate in front of her, as if it could somehow tell her what to do. She had finally reached that fork in the road, that impasse where she had to make a choice. She could no longer carry on as she had been. She knew that now. She loved both of them, in very different ways. Things with Ron had gotten comfortable again. The passion was gone, no doubt about that. She had no interest in trying to rekindle it, but that little skip her heart used to make when he walked in the room was no longer there. He could be a roommate she shared her house with, and for all intents and purposes, he was. The cooked together, ate together, shared the raising of their children and his bed but they were no longer intimate. Draco had asked her some time ago not to be intimate with Ron while they were involved, and she agreed. She wasn't the type to jump from one bed to another, even though she was having an affair with another married man.
Draco on the other hand, the passion was clearly there. She couldn't even think of him without feeling her stomach twist in knots and her pulse racing. When they saw each other at social events, she could not bring herself to look at him lest everyone around them see how much she loved him. It was unreasonable, to desire another person this much. The thought of never seeing him again, never feeling his arms around her or his soft breath upon her ear as he whispered lovely things to her, left her with a feeling of loss so deep she knew she would never be able to handle it properly.
She knew what she wanted. She wanted Draco. With every fiber of her being, she wanted Draco. But could she actually follow through? Could she leave her husband behind, destroy him like that? What about her children? How would they handle it? She knew that she would lose Harry and Ginny too. Ginny would never forgive her for hurting her brother so deeply. Harry had never quite recovered from his dislike of Draco either. They had a tolerance for each other that never extended far beyond a professional courtesy from time to time. Neither of them of course had any idea of the difficulties that they had endured the past years. Only Draco knew how deeply Ron had wounded her, but even that she knew was just a shadow of the pain she would feel if she ended things with Draco.
Never having been a particularly selfish person these things troubled her deeply. Her anxiety rose and the thought of eating the sandwich in front of her made her stomach turn uncomfortably. She nervously twisted her wedding band around her finger, her thoughts at war with herself. Her life, or her love? Could she resign herself to a life of misery or dare she strike out and seize happiness for herself? She had sacrificed so much over the years, so much for everyone else she deserved some happiness for herself didn't she?
Truthfully, she was going to hurt someone, no matter what she did. Even if she decided to stay with Ron, she would have to end things with Draco. Her conscience wouldn't allow her to continue to play both sides of the fence. Draco loved her as deeply as she did him, she knew. It hurt him deeply every time she left his arms to return home. He never pressured her, but the sadness in his eyes whenever she kissed him goodbye, how tightly he held her, each time holding her as if it was the last, told her it was as agonizing for him to let her leave as it was for her to leave.
Draco or Ron?
The right thing for everyone else, or the right thing for herself?
Spinning her ring on her finger, she reached her conclusion. There was really only one choice to make, and she had known it all along. It wasn't going to be easy. It was going to be the most difficult thing she had ever done, but it had to be done nonetheless. She couldn't keep splitting herself in two anymore. Now all she had to figure out, was how to tell him it was over.