AN: Translations at the bottom of the page. Please read and review :)
Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds.
Many people need desperately to receive this message:
I feel and think much as you do,
care about many of the things you care about,
although most people do not care about them.
You are not alone.
- Kurt Vonnegut
October 12, 2008
1:33 am
The screams piercing the quiet of the condo startles me into awareness. I take a deep breath, trying to clear my head. Where is the screaming coming from? I get out of bed and walk quietly to the door. The screaming is louder now, what is going on? I open the door and walk out into the hallway. The screaming is coming from Emily's bedroom; I take a moment to decide whether or not to enter. What if someone is in there with her? I can hear whimpers and quiet please for someone to stop. I hesitate, what should I do? Think Catherine. Okay, arm myself. Where did Derek leave his baseball bat? Front closet. Okay, I can get that. I grab the bat and tiptoe towards Emily's bedroom, I raise the bat and push the door open slowly and flip the light switch.
The only person I can see is Emily, she's lying in bed, tangled in the covers, screams, whimpers and quiet please spilling from her lips. It tears at my heart to see her trapped in a nightmare. I wonder if it has anything to do with the team's most recent case. I drop the bat by the door and move towards the bed "Emily!" I call her name again when she doesn't stir, "Emily, wake up!" I sit down on the bed and take a few seconds to try and decide the best way to wake her up. Finally I just grab the sheets that she's tangled in and pull them off her. I grab her hands in mine. "Réveillez-vous Emily." Nothing. "Wachen Sie auf." Still nothing, I'm starting to get really worried.
I try to remember what Jen does for me when I'm trapped in my nightmares. I've got it; I lay down next her and wrap my arms around the still struggling Emily. The noise stops, and she stills instantaneously.
Then she turns her head to look at me with confusion, "Catherine?"
I run my fingers through her hair, "Yes Em, it's me."
I can see that she's trying to focus, forcing back the horrors from her nightmares, "What are you doing here?"
"I'm visiting with you while the team is on a case Emily." I shiver, "And as to why I'm in your bedroom, you were screaming Emily. I thought someone was attacking you." There is a look that passes over her face so quickly that I don't have time to interpret it.
"I think I'm going to be sick." She rushes for the adjoining bathroom.
I follow behind her, concerned. I see her hunched over the toilet, emptying her stomach. I take three steps and stand behind Emily. She flinches violently. I take one step sideways so that I am no longer directly behind her. Kneeling down next to Emily, I pull her hair away from her face and rub her back gently. "It's okay Emmy."
When Emily is finished praying to the porcelain god, I help her stand up. I notice that she is shaking before I notice that she is crying. I am stunned; this is only the second time I have seen Emily cry. I hug her gently and she rests her head on top of mine. I steer her back to bed and tuck her in. When Emily doesn't let go of my hand I sit down on the bed next to her.
"Emmy," I start cautiously, "do you want to talk?"
She shakes her head.
"Okay, do you want me to leave?"
She shakes her head, not looking at me.
"Do you want me to stay?"
She still doesn't say anything but she moves farther away from me without letting go of her death grip on my poor hand.
"Emmy, look at me please?"
She raises her eyes slightly, she's not looking me in the eyes but it's close enough.
"Do you want me to stay?"
Her nod would have been imperceptible if I wasn't looking for it.
"Okay, I'll stay. May I lie down?"
Her lips twitch and she moves further away from me, still holding my hand.
I take that as a yes and climb under the covers.
We spend an hour lying in bed and staring at the walls in silence. I'm just starting to fall asleep again when Emily starts talking without my prompting.
"He had a gun to Reid's head."
I stop breathing.
Emily turned her head towards me and repeated herself, "He had a gun to Reid's head."
"Who?" My question is barely more than a whisper but she hears me.
"The unsub" she whispers. "Cyrus. Benjamin Cyrus." She shudders. "He knew that one of us was an FBI agent." Her eyes boring holes into mine, begging me to understand, "I couldn't just let him kill Reid. He would have killed him." She looks away but I can see the tears running down her face, "I gave myself up."
"Oh, Em." In that instant, I have an idea of where this conversation is going.
She whispers, "He beat me. He-". She cuts herself off, "The team was just a few miles away, off the compound."
"Why did they wait?" I am baffled. "Why didn't they rescue you right then?"
She still isn't looking at me, "I told them I could take it."
"You told them? How?" I ask, confusion lacing my words.
"I knew that they would have parabolic mikes pointed at the compound. I kept repeating that
I could take it."
I frown, "You pissed him off then, the unsub?"
She grimaces, "Oh yeah, big time."
"Why?" I pause to take a breath, "Why would you not want the team to rescue you?"
She swallows, "More people would have died if the team had come in early. All the men had guns. There were women and children, Catherine. I couldn't let them die."
"And you and Spence." I mumble.
"Huh?" Emily rolls towards me, confusion written on her face.
It's my turn to look away from Emily, "You would have been hurt worse right? If they had come in right away?"
She shudders, "Probably."
I hug Emily gently. I can feel her wince in pain and I start to pull away but she wraps her arms around me.
Her voice trembles just a little when she says, "I'm okay Kitty Cat."
"Liar." I whisper.
"Now who's profiling who?" she teases.
"Emily."
"Fine. I'm not okay, but I will be."
I raise my head and smile at Emily.
She kisses my forehead. "Go to sleep Kitty Cat."
I yawn, "What about you?"
"I'll fall asleep soon."
I raise one eyebrow, blinking sleepily.
Emily is running her fingers through my hair and my eyes are already closing but I manage to say, "Night Emmy."
The last thing I hear before I fall asleep is Emily's voice saying, "Good night Creirwy (kree-ree)."
If we had hinges on our heads
There wouldn't be no sin,
'Cause we could take the bad stuff out
And leave the good stuff in.
- Hinges, Shel Silverstein
French:
Catherine:
Réveillez-vouz Emily: Wake up Emily.
German:
Catherine:
Wachen Sie auf: Wake/get up.