Antonio knelt in the middle of the field, frozen both by the frigid air and by his own devastation. The speck of a figure that was Lovino had long since disappeared into the ash-smeared distance, but Antonio couldn't take his eyes off the place where he'd last been visible, desperately hanging onto the futile hope that he'd come back. But he knew in his heart that he wouldn't. And finding him would be beyond impossible; reconciliation more hopeless still.
His heart felt like it had been shattered into a thousand pieces, and replaced with poisonous shards, and yet the only pain he could think of was Lovino's. He'd willingly suffer a hundred times worse just for time to be turned back and for Lovino's pain to be healed. And in the back of his mind, part of him just wanted to die and end this whole living nightmare, but that would only condemn him here forever, knowing that Lovino was here somewhere, and would hate and avoid him for eternity. There seemed to be no way out, no way in which either of them could be happy.
He hadn't even had the chance to give Feliciano's letter to Lovino. Poor Feli would be devastated.
What could he do now? What should he do now? Would searching Lovino out help repair their shattered relationship slightly, or would it just make everything even worse than it already was? Either way, Antonio's legs were refusing to move, staying as still as ice and twice as cold, yet they felt to have all the consistency of warm jelly.
Antonio just wished Lovino would come back.
He'd do anything for Lovino to come back.
"Stubborn little guy, isn't he?" asked a deep, melodious voice suddenly.
Antonio almost jumped out of his skin at the unanticipated words, falling over onto his backside as he attempted to turn and see who had spoken. Another person was the last thing he'd expected here; Lovino was the only person in his heaven. If you could still call it that now. But, against all expectations, there was another man standing about ten feet away; about thirty-ish, perhaps, with untamed brown curls dancing around his ears, sparkling brown eyes and a perfect white smile. He was wearing a loose white dress shirt, which was half unbuttoned to show off his chest muscles, stylish dark jeans, and, strangely, a long flowing red cape tied at the shoulder with an elaborate golden clasp. Strangely enough, he looked completely unaffected by the soot and ash. Even his shoes were spotless and gleaming.
He seemed somewhat familiar, but Antonio was sure they'd never met before.
When the stunned Antonio didn't reply, the older man laughed, a cheerful, joyous sound, and wandered closer. "What's up? Oh, yeah, of course, that. But anyway. You are Antonio, right? I'm not approaching the wrong person here, am I?"
Antonio nodded uncertainly, throat still constricted. "Yeah, I'm Antonio." He wondered how this strange man knew who he was, and more specifically, why he was interested in him. Could this be another trap?
The other gave that blinding grin again. "Excellent. I don't sound like a madman then. I'm Romulus, by the way. Apologies that we haven't met sooner, but I found some...interesting people." He chuckled, momentarily casting his mind back, and Antonio wondered what inside joke he was missing out on.
Then it clicked. Romulus had the same olive-brown eyes as Lovino, the same soft chocolate hair, the same tanned Mediterranean good looks. Romulus, aka Grandpa Roma, Lovino's beloved but often absent nonno.
With a tired smile, Romulus dropped down onto the ground next to Antonio, sending up a puff of black dust which spattered onto Antonio, but somehow avoided the older man entirely. "Awkward situation, this, isn't it. Not the best way you'd like to meet someone for the first time. Now, I'd like to hear things from your perspective, before I decide whether or not to kick your ass for hurting my grandson."
Antonio gulped, eying the larger man's sculpted physique. He didn't fancy his chances in a fight against Romulus. The guy was half as big again as he was, and it was all muscle. Antonio didn't know if it was just the effect of heaven, or if Romulus actually looked like that, but he certainly didn't look like he could be a grandfather. Barely old enough to be Lovino's father, in fact.
But then, a sharp thought cut through his musings, louder than a drum. Wouldn't Lovino's grandfather, the only other person here, be useful when trying to reconcile with Lovino? He wouldn't be able to tell Lovino to forgive Antonio, and Antonio didn't want that anyway, but he may be able to help Antonio to explain to Lovino and try getting him to reconcile.
So Antonio talked. He told Romulus about how Lovino was killed saving him from that truck all those weeks ago. He spoke about how suddenly he'd began waking up here whenever he fell asleep, and how he'd met and fallen in love with Lovino, and how their relationship had blossomed over the past month. He recounted when his friends had staged an intervention to deal with how much he'd been sleeping and how he'd been wrecking his life. And, in a quiet, pained voice, he described how he'd hurt Lovino in his confusion, their fight, their heartbreak, and that the young Italian refused to forgive him.
And Romulus listened, not saying a word throughout Antonio's story, just watching him carefully with bright olive eyes. When Antonio finished, he sat there, tapping the fingers of one hand thoughtfully on one denim-clad knee.
He was silent for a very long time. Antonio was beginning to get very nervous, but kept quiet for fear that Romulus might actually carry out the 'kick your ass for hurting my grandson' threat. The wind whistled in the background, which was slightly strange as there were no longer any trees, and Antonio tried not to feel too unnerved.
Finally, Romulus sighed and turned to face Antonio with distraught brown eyes. "Well, Toni – can I call you Toni? I have to say; you really screwed up royal here. You know how bad you hurt my Lovino, you've seen the effects of it. No one wants to be told they're not real, especially by someone close to them. But...I can't exactly blame you, either. It was more of a very unfortunate misunderstanding." He rubbed the brown stubble on his chin with a calloused hand, wearing a curious expression that was halfway between resigned and saddened. "I found Lovino this morning, you know. I like to try keep an eye on him, even if it is just sensing where he is every so often and whether he's happy. Not that it's easy to be unhappy here. As far as I know, this is a first. But earlier...he was just sat still on the steps to our old house, completely silent. He wasn't crying, but it was pretty obvious that he had been. But even when I asked him what had happened, he wouldn't say a word, just kept staring blankly into the distance, occasionally muttering something I couldn't catch. So, to try find out, I switched my view for a moment to see the world from Lovino's point of view. In short, as you can probably see it, this has utterly destroyed him." For a brief second, Romulus' eyes flashed, and Antonio's heart temporarily stopped at the anger that flickered momentarily across the elder's face, knowing full well at whom it would be aimed if released.
"I'm sorry," Antonio said quietly, once his heart had returned to its regular calm pace. "I never meant for this to happen. I'd do anything for Lovi to be alright."
Romulus looked at him, one eyebrow raised, and bluntly replied, "Would you now? I'll tell you something, Toni. I reckon one way to solve this would be to find a way for you to never come back here and for Lovino to never see you again and work through this through time and the ways of this place, the ways that try to keep you happy. All without you."
Antonio couldn't believe it. Romulus had completely shot him down. No, worse, he'd said that he was never to see Lovino again, that they would be bad for each other. Antonio felt like he'd been struck by a tank. His breathing didn't seem to be working properly; his vision was spinning and his blood had been replaced by tiny razor-sharp needles. Was he really to never see Lovino again?
A bright, cheery sound caught his ears and he looked up, confused, to see Romulus in fits of laughter, having caught sight of Antonio's devastated expression. "Oh, you are priceless, Toni! I was joking! No need to have a heart attack!" He burst into another round of melodious laughter, clutching his knees to keep his balance as the mirthful sounds rocked his body.
Antonio blushed. He should have seen that Romulus wasn't serious. But, to be honest, being laughed at so much was rather insulting. He'd been through a lot lately; he wasn't in the right state of mind to have jokes made at his expense.
Romulus spotted Antonio's expression again, this time it was somewhat more irked, and ceased his laughing. "Sorry, Toni. Couldn't help it. But I'll tell you something else; this shows that you really do still care about Lovino. And, as his grandfather, that means a lot."
Antonio smiled, but it was a cautious half-smile. He still wasn't quite sure of Romulus' stance on the current situation; he kept switching between opposite sides, and it was more beginning to hurt his tired brain. "Of course I care about Lovi. He's the best thing that's ever happened to me. Even if I didn't realise it until it was too late, and then screwed everything up." It hurt to say that, even more than it did to think it, and time was not making it any easier.
"Yup," Romulus agreed. And he said nothing further.
Antonio bit his lip, eyes darting nervously from Romulus to the ashy floor to the pale grey deepness of the sky, wondering if he was supposed to say anything. The fierce wind whistled around the exposed field, and Antonio realised how cold he was again. He hugged his arms closer to himself and wished uselessly that it would get warmer. Or at least that Romulus would say something again. Antonio couldn't really blame him though. They'd only just met, after all. But still, it was rather awkward, being sat next to someone whom you weren't sure whether they disliked you or not.
"You want to know something, Toni?" Romulus asked finally, once the silence was beginning to get tense. "I'm no psychologist, but that's a bit of reasoning behind why Lovino's not taking this well. Lovino's never been a particularly strong person. Sure, he can put up a hell of a fight when he's roused, and he's got a stubbornness to rival the proverbial mule, but when it comes to relationships, and especially those involving affection, he's not all that good at coping. Never really been close to anyone, not even his family. He's always felt shadowed by Feliciano. There's a name for that, but I can't remember what it was. Told you I'm not a psychologist. But it basically means that the poor kid always felt like no one really loved him, even when they did, they really did. So he shuts people out, and doesn't make many friends, never allowing himself to show affection for anyone. And then you come along, breaking down his walls and working your way into his mind, or something like that. Gave his heart to you, I reckon he did. Not literally though. But anyway, he finally begins to trust you, and then you hairpin turn around and break his heart. Not good mentally, that was. And 'cos he doesn't know how to cope, he just does what he normally would; shut himself off from everything and everyone, even me. Being alone makes everything more sad, though. And that leads me to another question; how the hell is it possible to be sad in heaven?"
Antonio nodded. "I was wondering that too."
"Mmm. And that's why this has gotta be set right soon as possible. If it's not happened before, well...s'probably going to screw the place up a bit. Which will really not be good, by my reckoning. But I dunno much about how this place works, so the damage could be nothing, or beyond comprehension. So it's probably not good if Lovino's sad."
Really, Antonio thought sarcastically, but kept this observation to himself. It wouldn't do to hurt Romulus for no reason. And once again, he was confusing himself with the mammoth task of trying to understand how heaven worked, and why he only saw how Lovino had moulded the world, not how anyone else did. It was strange; he'd been visiting every day for a month, and yet he still knew barely anything about the place. He'd just been more interested in Lovino.
Romulus ran a hand remorsefully across the gleaming material of his cape, the crimson fabric rippling under his strong fingers. "My poor boy," he sighed. "But love is tough. Love hurts. It tests you to your very limits, and often beyond, to the point your heart can take no more. Even in death, it seems. You wouldn't think so, but it is. Even in a place that's meant to be happy, it hurts. And they say that time heals all wounds, but it also seals opinions, and with Lovino, that will be near impossible to overcome when it happens."
"So what should I do?" Antonio asked in exasperation. The conversation just seemed to be wandering in circles, he was now freezing, and somewhere out here was a heartbroken Lovino who was in dire need of a hug or five. Even though he knew what would be coming, he just had to go get up and do something.
Romulus shrugged. "That's up to you, Toni. Only you can fix this. It's like a painting that's had its colour smudged. Others can try cover it up, or make a new copy, but only the original artist can bring it back to its former glory. But, you'll only have one shot at it. Time's ticking away, and Lovino's not on the best of terms with you. Well, I say that. You'll have to see whether or not it's true. And remember, even when everything has fallen, there is always something that remains." And on that cryptic note, he stood up and began walking off, much to Antonio's confusion.
"Hey, wait!" Antonio called, scrambling to his feet despite the screaming protests of his reluctant limbs. But his body was too cold to respond, blood struggling to reach his tingling muscles as his system fought to keep his core warm, and his movements came out sluggish and clumsy.
Romulus turned, but kept walking away backwards. "Good luck, Toni. You set things right with my grandson, ok?" Antonio stood powerless as Romulus turned back, unable to respond and knowing he had no chance of catching up for the second time that night. Romulus' figure slowly got more blurry, notable only by his cloak rippling in the wind as he walked onwards into the mist and ash. And all of a sudden, he disappeared, leaving only a Romulus-shaped hole in the air, and a knot of confusion in Antonio's heart.
Time was ticking on. What time was it, and more importantly, how much was left? Antonio knew the answer to neither of these questions, and cursed his lack of a watch even more than his lack of a jacket. But, he knew the solution to both was to get going, and fast. Somewhere out there was Lovino, and Antonio was going to find him again, and make this disaster right.
He had to.
A wild Rome appeared! What will Antonio do?
Ah, Pokémon references. Where would life be without them?
Short chapter, this. But that's 'cos I want to get the next one done properly, as it's an important chapter.