CHAPTER EIGHT – DESIRE
The world stopped around her, everything slipping away from her awareness except for the heavy press of his lips on hers and the heat of his body barely a breath away from her.
For a shocked moment she held still, processing the abrupt contact, the flood upon her senses and the heat of his hand still tight around hers.
And then, her mind caught up with her, and with a sharp in-breath through her nose, she reached up with her free hand and touched down against the soft fabric over his warm chest. This was her and John.
She had dared not hope before, when he had seemed in disbelief that she and Kanaan were not currently together. It had never occurred to her that he, and her other friends, might not understand her and Kanaan's parting. Only, clearly John had been surprised by the news, or perhaps shocked would have been a more accurate description. At first, she had feared his response to be what she had feared the most from those in Atlantis – that they would judge her harshly for parting from the father of her child. She had learnt that many of John's people did not look favourably on parents being unmarried, let alone parting from one another. She had felt almost certain that her friends did not feel that way, but on hearing that he had not known the truth of her break with Kanaan, she had felt a sudden fear that his good opinion of her would be altered. Only, then he had made almost jokingly shocked comments about her being 'available' all this time, especially over the last week and yesterday's walk to watch the sunset. Such attention to those particular events surely meant something. Though she had not received a clear answer, since the mission had pulled back their focus, but now, away from the incriminating closeness to Mr Salisbury's villa, John had revealed the truth without her asking.
The surprise of his action, abrupt and passionate, captured her almost as intensely as his kiss.
His mouth was a solid pressure upon hers, a statement of the connection that she had sensed for so long between them, but the kiss also felt like a query. In his kiss, she knew that they had stepped over a line that could never be ignored again. With their 'future' visions it had been almost too easy to set aside what they had experienced, but this was real, this was unavoidable and a change that they would not be able to undo or ignore.
She sensed that same knowledge in him, as she had in almost all first kisses, but with John, it was different. It felt monumental, and frightening in a way she had not experienced before.
Her held breath almost out, she felt his lips begin to loosen against hers, and felt the faintest extra tension in him.
He had acted, and now the moment was passed, and now over that crossed line, he awaited the consequences. She realised that in this long held moment, she had done nothing other than touch her hand to his chest, so surprised, thrilled and nervous had she been.
His lips parted from hers, just that first fraction of departure, and she felt instantly bereft of him and afraid he did not understand her response. So, she lifted her chin higher, following his lips, and their mouths met again. She pressed her lips tight to his, lifting up on her toes and leaning her weight slightly against him so that she seemed to press her entire body into the kiss.
It was as hard a kiss as his first one had been – so forceful a meeting that she could almost feel the press of his teeth through their flattened lips. She knew she was showing a desperateness in it that at any other time she might have shied from exhibiting, but here, in the darkened beach with him, she stood on a precipice where it was now or never in which to make her feelings plain.
His fingers tightened at the back of her neck, holding her into their kiss, whilst his other hand released hers and slipped up over her shoulder.
Joy, hope, and a rising pleasure poured through her at the feel of his hand sliding up the side of her neck to cup her other cheek. Held in both his hands, his lips softening against hers, she grasped handfuls of his shirt, her eyes tightly shut as their mouths began to move against one another. He angled his mouth against hers, fitting them together with a softer and more animated kiss.
She parted her lips under his immediately, an action of pure desire to taste him and share the deepest of kisses with him as quickly as possible. Their tongues met in an open, intensely intimate kiss, which left nothing hidden about the true nature of what could exist between them.
She felt a powerful rush of arousal through her body, melting something inside that she could not name, and untying a deep honest passion in her that let her continue the long slide of achingly honest kisses. They had stepped over the line, so it was far too late to hide now, to deny, so instead she continued to throw her entire self into the moment. She grasped higher handfuls of his shirt, leaning her weight into him.
If Mr Salisbury himself were to walk right past them now she would not have noticed. Nothing existed but the overpowering kiss, which chased away the very last cobwebs of doubt or question in her mind. John's tongue slid against hers with a thoroughness that chased it all away, and in return, she conveyed the same. In this kiss, she expressed all that she had felt but had never spoken before. All the affection and love poured out of her into her hands and mouth, and, through it all, she felt she was receiving the same. Somehow, his kiss told her how much it meant to him, how much she meant to him, and that heartfelt communication seeped into her, dissolving away barriers that she had no hope of rebuilding whilst he was touching her.
The kiss slid to an end almost abruptly in comparison to the timeless place in which they had been, and as their mouths untangled, she realised her thoughts had drifted far away, leaving her feeling soft, slow, and yet acutely present. She opened her eyes and looked up at him, his hands still framing her face with a protective caring warmth. As he pulled back enough that she could see all of his face, she thought he looked a little stunned himself. Then he smiled. She smiled back up at him, truly allowing herself to admire how handsome he was, and how wonderful it was to feel his thumbs lightly caress her skin so affectionately.
For a long moment, they held each other's gaze, his hands still warm against her skin. She held his gaze, looking right into his eyes, feeling the rush of joyous pleasure to see the same reflected back at her. This was John, looking down at her so softly, so openly, before his eyes lowered to her lips. She leant in towards him, meeting his mouth for another soft kiss. It seemed to be an answer to a conversation they had been exchanging silently, a seal confirming the reality of it. But perhaps there had needed to be no words – what was there to say? His kiss, his touch, gentle and softly arousing, told her enough. She had never been kissed so carefully, and neither had she so willingly lost herself into a kiss before.
In the distance, a car engine started up through the silent air and the repetitive sound of the ocean.
John's lips parted from hers, and she opened her eyes as she processed the sound of the car close by. John looked round over his shoulder, and she tilted her head, leaning her cheek further into the heat of one of his hands, to see for herself the sweeping motion of a car's headlights.
"They're leaving," John said commented as they watched, through the breaks in the trees and shrubs, the car drive away down the road.
Teyla leant further to one side, her hands supporting her against John's body, to see that the front of the Salisburys' villa was now absent of the formally parked car. "Teresa or Terry's car," she suggested.
"Yeah," John replied, one of his hands slipping from her cheek to slide over her bare shoulder as he looked back round at her. "Your cuddling ploy worked," he reported with a smile.
She chuckled at that, understanding from the pointed turn of phrase and eye contact that he did not only mean their excuse if they were to be caught. He playfully implied it had been her intention to seduce him.
She slid her hands from his upper chest, the soft cotton shirt parting from her fingertips as he looked back round towards the villa as the light stretching out through the windows abruptly shut off, plunging the beach into further darkness.
The presence of the water rolling around her legs registered fully on her awareness again and it felt cooler now, seeping up her legs. John seemed to sense her new discomfort, his hands sliding down her upper arms as he looked back to her.
"Getting cold?" He asked.
"The water is cooling," she replied, for the air itself against her skin was still thickly warm.
"Yeah, we've been in here a while," he replied with a smile.
They both turned together towards the beach, and as they moved forward, his hand slid down to hers. She interlinked her fingers with his, smiling with deep satisfaction. Silently they walked the short distance to the beach, his forearm brushing enjoyably against hers now that they were walking so much closer.
She looked away to the villas again as more solid sand began to meet the soles of their shoes.
"Maybe Teresa's in on the whole thing," John suggested beside her, his voice pitched low in case anyone was out walking so late who might overhear them.
"Perhaps, but if she spends most of her time working here at the resort, I would imagine she would be busy enough," she considered out loud, surprised but enjoying the way they had slipped back into work conversation, yet now walking closer, holding hands. Strangely it felt like the most natural thing in the world now hold his hand.
"Unless his contacts meet here," John suggested.
She angled her head in agreement. "It would be an ideal environment, with so many visitors on the island, such contacts would go unnoticed. Do you not think Terry could be involved as well?" She asked as she paused once they stepped clear of the reach of the surf, John stopping with her. Her sandals had an uncomfortable mix of sand and water in them, so balancing on one leg, and using John's hand for some extra support, she slipped off one sandal and shook it.
"He could be," John replied, but she could tell that he was not convinced. "I just don't see Salisbury trusting him that much."
She could understand that. She slipped her sandal back on and then balanced on the other foot to pull the other sandal free. "He does seem a rather contained and unapproachable man," she summarised from her one brief introduction to Jeff Salisbury. He had kissed the back of her hand in greeting, but she had sensed a coldness behind his eyes as he had smiled at her.
"I wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him," John replied, using an Earth phrase she particularly enjoyed.
She smiled at him as she shook her sandal free of sand, but the clasp had come loose at the back, so she released John's hand to fix it, walking up the last stretch of the damp sand with one foot bare. She saw John smiling down at her feet as she fixed the clasp and replied, "I agree with you. I have no trouble believing what Mr Woolsey and the IOA discovered in their future visions."
Further up the beach now, she dropped her sandal to the sand and bent down to secure it properly around her foot.
"Shame they couldn't see how he got the information," John added.
She smiled at his tone that implied that he thought the IOA representatives who had had future visions had not paid enough attention, but she decided not to point out how they had both themselves failed to provide anything 'useful' for Earth or the IOA.
"We are aware of him now at least," she reassured him as she stood upright, sandals in place and comfortable enough once more.
John's hand slid across her lower back as she did so, the caress smooth and inviting. She looked round as he stepped closer to her, his eyes rising up her body to meet her eyes.
"Have I mentioned how good you look in that dress," he said quietly, his tone very new to her in its deep seductive nature, and it thrilled her just as much as his nice compliment.
"No, you have not," she replied as she turned fully round towards him, and he moved right up close to her again, his body blocking the breeze from the ocean behind him. She had slipped her bag from around her body, intent to carry it over one shoulder, but she simply dropped it to the sand now and as both his hands slid around her back.
She had a moment to take an excited pleasured breath before he lowered his head and she lifted up to meet him, sliding her own hands up and over his shoulders. She closed her eyes to the darkness and the deeper shadow of him leaning into her as their mouths met once more.
There was already familiarity growing now, the initial shock of actually kissing him having faded enough that she could purely enjoy him. He seemed so much taller and broader now that she was right up so close to him, and his scent filled her senses so that she felt almost intoxicated by him. She slid her palms up his shoulders, glorying in the feel of him, so lean, yet so muscular and strong. Lured by touching him so pleasurably, she slid her hands up further, finding his skin above the collar of his soft shirt. She clasped the back of his neck and pressed herself slightly closer to him, once more throwing herself into the thorough enjoyment that it was to kiss him without any feelings of caution or status. This was John, who she already cared for so deeply, and whose warm hands slid further around her back, encouraging her even closer to him. She was more than willing to press closer against the warm temptation of his body heat.
Their kiss shifted slightly as their bodies moved closer, his arms around her and the heat of his body surrounding her. She ran her hands down around his shoulders so that she could lean her upper body right up against his. The feel of his broad chest against her was more stimulating than she had ever experienced before in such circumstances, and a rushing excitement sparkled through her breasts and down through her body, abruptly accelerating her sense of arousal. She might have attempted to control herself a little at such a point, but John took a sharp breath between their soft long kisses and suddenly she was aware of his own heightening arousal, for his next kiss felt so different. Pleasure shot through her, melting any tiny thoughts of restraint, as he angled his mouth against hers sliding and biting in a new way. She caught tight hold of the back of his shirt and she rose up a little higher on her toes to return his more raw and seductive kiss.
His hands had begun to caress around her back, one now sliding up her spine to press between her shoulder blades, holding her even closer to him as he leant further against her, pressing them entirely together from their thighs to their mouths. She felt the unmistakable evidence of his mutual feeling of heightening arousal in the ridge of pressure against her, and she boldly pressed fully against him. To keep their kiss going stood so close, she had dropped her head back and to one side to keep their mouths together, and one of his hands now cupped the back of her head in offered support. The feel of his hand clasping her hair as he deepened their kiss even further, drew out of her a long deep murmur. The sound seemed far away from her and she might have felt a moment of shyness at the sound, so wistful and vulnerably open, with another man, but with John it was a weak understatement as to how good he felt.
His free hand slid wide smooth caresses across her back, lingering now over the top of her backside, to slip lower, emphasising the press of their groins against one another. There was nothing to be misinterpreted about what this was between them and she felt a thrill at how abruptly they were throwing themselves into this aspect, letting their kisses build and pull them forward. Every cell of her body was aching to follow the sensual promise between them. Her breasts felt full and hot against his chest, but desperately unattended. She could feel the tightness of her nipples against the material of her dress and the press of his chest, and it was now not enough. Deep in her belly, aching between her legs, a louder need grew only stronger, and a whimper escaped between their kiss.
His hands moved around her, holding her tight to him, and then he was lifting her slightly, lowering, and she reached back to support herself as the warm sand of the beach met her back and then her shoulders as she laid back with a long rushing sigh as their mouths parted. She still had tight hold of the back of his shirt and she pulled him down with her, though he had been following her, the full shape and weight of his body hovering over hers, and his mouth slid across her jaw to bury into her throat just under her ear.
She ran her fingers up into his hair as he kissed and sucked, teasing and building the rushing power of this arousing dance. She freed one hand to reach down his back, sliding down the length of him to find a slice of bare exposed skin. She slipped both her hands down to it, pulling up the back of his shirt enough so that she could spread her palms over his skin. He murmured into his next kiss down her throat, licking and sucking down to her collarbone. She sighed a moan of delight as one of his hands slid up her left side, up to the side of her breast. She arched her back and dug her fingers into his back as his mouth slipped down the front of her chest. He had understood her request, though clearly he had intended the same, for his fingers stretched and slid across the fabric over her breast, and it was the most shocking experience. She gasped in delight as he caught the edge of the neckline of her dress and pulled the close fabric aside enough that the night air rushed over her breast, to be closely followed by the wet hotness of his mouth.
She rolled her head back against the sand and squeezed her eyes tightly closed, every nerve ending and synapse focused on the amazing feel of his mouth around her nipple, teasing gently but thoroughly. She heard her own soft moans in the air and now they teased her onwards rather than potentially shying her away. She ran her hands over him, up his neck, into his hair, and down under his collar, touching and conveying to him how wonderful he felt. She arched up higher into his mouth as his hand slid back down her side, caressing a line of heat down to her hip, and she lifted her leg against his side.
He was knelt over her, one knee between hers, creating space enough for the ocean's breeze to slide over her left leg, down which his hand now slid. She lifted her knee into the caress, as his mouth slipped from her breast into her cleavage. She reached up to her own chest and pulled aside the other side of her dress enough to reveal her other breast to the night and him as his mouth nuzzled towards it. She ran her fingers into his hair tightly as he kissed her nipple as thoroughly as he had the first. She heard his heightened murmuring breathing as he kissed her, and his hand on her lifted knee tightened. She arched against him again, her body feeling desperately restless now.
His hand slid back up her left thigh, pushing the hem of her dress up and she heard herself gasp. His mouth lifted from her nipple for a moment, his breath teasing against the dampness left over the peak, but all her attention was on the promise of his hand now. She sensed a cautiousness for a second in his sliding palm as he reached her hip, her legs bared to the air now along with her breasts. Desperate to have his touch, she tightened her hands on him, and immediately his hand slipped down the inside of her leg and turned, so that suddenly the heat of his hand gently cupped between her legs. The heat of his hand over her most intimate of areas thrilled her intensely, but it was also suddenly a point at which some of the fog of excitement began to fade into sharper mental awareness. Perhaps he was experiencing the same, because he held still there, the heat of his hand seeping into her through her underwear, and his lips brushed gently now against the skin of her breast.
She opened her eyes to the night sky overhead and reached down to cup both sides of his neck in her hands, drawing him up enough to bring their mouths together again. He lifted his mouth from her breast and they shared a brief moment of dark intimate eye contact as he leant up over her to meet her kiss. He kept his hand still in the tight space between her legs, his palm pressed to her as she met his lips with hers.
The kiss was passionate still, but she could sense his own sharpening awareness returning in it as she had suspected. They were pulling back from the rushing direction they had been headed, but there was no sense of regret in their kiss. Instead there was a deep new connection of how close and ready they were to share the most intimate of experiences. She suspected that he too would not wish such a moment to be shared on a public beach, which she was now far more aware of around them. She smiled against their kiss, feeling a warmth suffuse through her even with the first touches of thought that perhaps there might be someone out walking along the beach. Their lips parted and she opened her eyes to glance around to the right, amused more than embarrassed at where they were. She felt John's equally amused breath as he looked the other way down the beach. Her hands, still around his neck, recorded the stretching of sinew and muscle as he looked further down the beach. She could tell that he hadn't seen anyone, just as she could not see any one down towards the villas.
"Don't worry, we're just a new couple cuddling on the beach," he whispered, clearly thoroughly enjoying the chance to use her former excuse to real effect. He pressed a kiss to her cheek and she looked back up at him with a smile.
He pressed his mouth fully to hers before she could respond though, and she understood it was one last slow kiss before they moved. She pulled his mouth tighter to hers as she enjoyed it.
Between her legs, his hand had rested against her inner thigh while they had checked the beach around them, but now, as they shared their last deep kiss, his hand once more gently cupped her. She drew her legs together enough to hold his hand there, communicating her pleasure and enjoyment of the warmth of him. She felt an undulation in his body though, telling her of his own controlled excitement, and then he pressed his fingers closer against her, finding the soft give of where her entrance ached just inside the barrier of her underwear. It was the gentlest of pressures, but it was spectacularly groundbreaking, his intent and desire communicated even more completely in that moment. She lifted her pelvis a fraction into the touch, communicating her own.
There was no doubt that the last barriers were crumbling and she willingly celebrated their fall.
He broke their kiss abruptly and the pressure of his fingers lifted from against her. She opened her eyes to see the tension in him that she could feel under her hands – he had perhaps reached too aroused a state. His eyes were closed and she could not help smiling at his exaggerated wince as he took several deep breaths, lifting a fraction further up from her, his hands leaving her to hold him up over her as he regained control of his body.
She felt a rush of feminine confidence and pleasure to see him so nearly pushed to the edge of his control, all because of touching her. She must have chuckled at him, because he opened his darkened eyes and gave her a mocking glare.
"Are you alright?" She asked, surprised at her own sarcastic sensual teasing of him.
"I might need a minute," he replied very honestly in an amused, but slightly pained voice as he pushed himself up from her, though still leaning his warmth and shadow over her.
She smiled and nodded as she slipped her hands from around his neck and reached down to adjust her dress back into place, the hem back down her thighs and the front of her dress back over her breasts.
"That's not really helping," John muttered and she looked up at him to see his attention on her breasts as she settled their weight into the cups of the dress's internal support. She simply chuckled at him, enjoying the openness between them and the settling fact that this was real and so wonderful.
She sat up from the sand slowly, giving him time to sit back as well, and she set about brushing sand from her back as he knelt and took in a few breaths. She smiled at him as she climbed up to her feet, setting her hand on his shoulder to assist her, and his hand settled around her elbow to help, just as he had often been doing these last two days. She squeezed his shoulder and pressed a kiss to his temple before she moved away to collect up her bag that she had dropped a short distance away.
"I hope I did not get the camera wet," she worried as she picked up her bag noticing that the water had soaked slightly into the fabric.
"It's waterproof, it'll be fine," John assured her as he stood up.
Pleased she had not damaged the valuable device she shook the bag free of sand and hung the strap back over her shoulder as she returned to John's side.
She looked up at him, feeling the warm affection she normally felt for him multiplied to the point that she felt quite emotional. She took in a breath to centre herself as she took in his expression, which looked less pained now. She had only briefly glanced down at the front of his shorts and it seemed that he was in control again.
"Feeling better?" She asked him, trying not to sound amused.
He gave her a strange smile that she thought seemed slightly embarrassed, but it shifted into a more recognisable enjoyment as his gaze drifted over her face and then dipped down to her breasts. "I'll live," he replied as he reached out and she took his offered hand, delighting in the touch of warm interlinking fingers.
Smiling at him, she moved closer to him as they turned towards the villas and began the short walk home.
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On to chapter 9...