Disclaimer: Glee is the property of Ryan Murphy and FOX. I don't own the characters, but most of the storyline is mine and mine only.

Author's Note: This chapter is a little all over the place, because I wrote it with a few weeks in between. So forgive me if everything gets a little confusing.

Chicago, 2012

Rachel opened her eyes and looked around her dorm room slowly, letting her eyes adjust to the darkness. She stretched her arms out on either side of her and arched her back off the bed as she felt all her muscles pull. Settling back into the bed, she turned onto her side and buried her face in her pillow, pulling back almost instantly at the familiar smell clinging to the fabric. She sat up quickly and groaned as her head spun and closed her eyes as she released the grip she had on the sheet wrapped around her. It took her a few more minutes to settle the throbbing in her head before she opened her eyes and looked around the room, her eyes settling on every discarded piece of clothing. She hadn't been alone the night before, but given that she couldn't see any other pieces of clothing lying around, Rachel assumed that whoever it was had snuck out before she woke up. The way a one night stand was supposed to happen. She wasn't upset with their departure, but she really wished that she had known who it was. Especially since she couldn't remember much from the night before. Glancing down at herself, Rachel frowned at the black V-neck t-shirt she was wearing and lifted it to her nose, smiling to herself. Finn. She wasn't surprised that he was gone, because this was how they should have done things during the summer anyway. Carefully climbing out of bed, she picked up all the clothes from the floor and tossed them in the hamper and grabbed a fresh pair of panties and pulled them on just as there was a knock on the door. Groaning, Rachel pulled her hair off her face in a messy ponytail and glanced at her reflection in the mirror before pulling the door open. It didn't matter that she looked a complete mess and her mascara was smudged all over her face, when she opened the door and found Finn standing outside, he was all that mattered.

"I didn't wake you up, right?"

"I was just picking up the remnants of my night with a mysterious guy."

"Mhm," Finn smiled at her and she stepped aside to let him in, "No clues as to who the mystery guy might be?"

"He did let me sleep in his t-shirt, which tells me that he wears really nice cologne and is really big. But that's about it."

"Looks like I have some random dude to beat up for leaving you in bed alone."

"I can look after myself, but I do appreciate the thought."

"I'm a gentleman like that, unlike your mystery guy," Rachel watched him as he shrugged and smiled as she shook her head, "You should keep the t-shirt though, it looks better on you."

"It's a dress on me."

"All the better to show off those gorgeous legs."

"I suppose that is a good enough reason to keep it," laughing softly, Rachel grabbed her basket and towel, "I'm going to clean up, make yourself comfortable."

"I was thinking we could go out for lunch or something?"

"I could definitely eat some lunch," she winked at him, slipping her feet into her flip-flops and walked out of the room, shutting the door behind her. Sighing happily, Rachel walked to the bathrooms and ignored the way everybody else on her floor was looking at her. She was never the one stumbling out of her room looking like that, because she was always gone before the rest of the floor was even awake. But there she was, still smelling like alcohol and cigarettes, mascara streaming down her face and wearing a t-shirt belonging to one of the hottest guys she had ever met. And if that wasn't enough, said hot guy was waiting for her in her room and offering to take her out for lunch. The right thing would have been to ask him what had happened the night before, but Rachel knew better than to ruin what they were enjoying right then. It wasn't like this was the first time that they had slept together and it wasn't the first time that Rachel had woken up smelling like Finn while he was off doing something else. This was normal.

Stepping out of the shower, Rachel wrapped the towel around her body and gathered her wet hair over one shoulder. She brushed her teeth and resisted the urge to smile as she did so. She hadn't even been in Chicago long enough and she already had a friend. And Finn wasn't just a friend, he was probably the only guy who knew her inside out. He knew almost everything there was to know about her. Even Rachel had to keep a few secrets from the guy that she had spent the most glorious summer with, but she knew that secrets were the least of her problems. She was nothing compared to half the girls on campus and Finn was sure to already have a few admirers, she would just be another one of those girls. It was something that she had to come to terms with, because girls like her never got guys like Finn. No matter how much he convinced her that she was exactly what guys like her wanted in a girl. She was flawed. Rachel turned her head to the side and ran her index finger down her nose as she brushed her teeth. Stupid nose. It was her biggest flaw, the same thing that would always stop guys from wanting anything to do with her. Rachel wasn't stupid, she knew that guys were always drawn to a girl by the way they looked, because a person's personality wasn't hanging around their neck like a sign post. You were drawn to the physical aspect of the person first and then you learned more about them. It was just the way things worked and she knew that she would be competing with prettier, sexier and more confident girls in Chicago. Especially if she was going to be competing for Finn's attention. She heard someone say something behind her, followed by a fit of giggles, but Rachel forced herself to ignore it and focused on brushing her teeth and getting the gunk off her face. When her face was squeaky clean, she adjusted her towel and grabbed her things and headed back to her room. Cursing herself for not taking her key when she reached the door, Rachel knocked and glanced over her shoulder at the girls watching her. Taking a deep breath, she turned away as Finn opened the door and moved to brush past him into the room, when he wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her against him. Rachel's eyes widened as his lips crashed down on hers, causing her to almost lose her grip on her bathroom basket. A soft whimper escaped her lips as he pulled away and shut the door and Rachel dropped back down on her feet and looked up at him, "What was that for?"

"You looked like you needed it."

"Uh huh," Rachel tilted her head to the side and looked at him, "Spit it out."

"I've seen that look on your face before and that was my way of showing you that you're perfect just the way you are."

"Finn," Rachel sighed and walked to her cupboard, running a hand through her hair, "You need to stop saying that."

"I meant it during the summer, and I mean it now. You really need to start believing me."

"Where were you this morning?"

"I went back to my place to get changed and to let Puck know where I was."

"Why did you come back?"

"Because we've never been good at one night stands."

"What are you doing here now?"

"What is going on?" Rachel shook her head, keeping her focus fixed on the inside of her cupboard, "Nothing. I'm going to change and I want you to look away."

"It's not like I haven't seen everything already."

"Finn!"

"Looking away, looking away," she glanced over her shoulder as he turned away and sat on the edge of her bed, fiddling with his phone. This wasn't going according to plan. He had stayed because of their history, he had come back because of their history and he had kissed her right there in front of everyone because he knew that they made her insecure. It was scary just how well he knew her and all Rachel could do was still find fault with him wanting to spend time with her.

xxx

He knows something is wrong and he would ask her, except he's terrified that she'll snap at him and then leave him standing there in the middle of nowhere while she trudges back to her dorm. He knew something was off the minute she got back from her shower and while kissing her wasn't the smartest thing to do, he knew that was exactly what was needed for those girls sniggering to shut up. He knew how they functioned, after all he had spent only most of his life around Quinn, Santana and Brittany. Finn doesn't know how to deal with a girl who is having trouble accepting that she's actually beautiful, because every girl he's ever known or dated has always been so confident about who they are. He glances at her from the corner of his eyes and chews on his lip, waiting for her to stop scowling. From the minute she pulled on her jeans and sweater, Rachel's face was fixed in that permanent scowl and while she actually makes scowling look hot, Finn's concerned that the scowl might become a permanent fixture on her face. And nobody looks good with a permanent fixture. He keeps his hands in his pockets as they walk, looking at her every few minutes just to make sure she's not having a meltdown or walking in the opposite direction, "Rachel?"

"Yes, Finn?"

"Are you going to pretend like I don't exist all through lunch?"

"What?"

"You look annoyed and I don't want to push you to tell me what's wrong, but are you going to talk to me ever?"

"Maybe lunch was a bad idea."

"You have to eat at some point."

"Yeah, I can go down the street to that bakery and buy something and eat it in my room."

"How is that fun?"

"Lunch does not have to be fun."

"Yes, it does. Lunch is one of the funnest meals ever. Everybody's looking for a break and lunch is the perfect excuse to escape your either boring or super exciting life and do something else with someone else."

"I like eating alone. There's nothing wrong with that."

"Sure, there's nothing wrong with it. But don't you wanna go out somewhere and eat something other than the usual?"

"I like my usual food."

"What's going on with you?"

"Nothing."

"Rachel," Finn reached for her arm and stopped walking, "You can try and lie to me, but we both know that I know you better than that."

"You think you know me better than that."

"Those girls on your floor aren't worth it."

"This has nothing to do with them, okay? I don't want to talk about it."

"We're not going to lunch till you do."

"I can do without lunch, I lost my appetite."

"Why are you being so difficult?"

"Why are you being so you?"

"Because I care about you!" He pulled his hand away and pushed it through his hair as he shook his head, "You're still stuck in that bubble where you think guys don't like you. Where if you're not blonde, or popular or skinny or whatever the hell you think it is, people won't like you. It doesn't matter if people don't like you, if you have one or two people who can appreciate you the way you are, who cares about the rest of the world?"

"Who appreciates me the way I am, Finn? My own parents don't care about me."

"I appreciate you, so much. So does Kurt and I'm pretty sure that Puck is totally into you, because all he could talk about was the hottie I left with last night."

"Why do you care so much?"

"Because you're different and because just being around you makes me happy."

"You're a pain in my ass, Finn Hudson."

"Right back at you, Rachel Berry."

They survive lunch, but when Rachel decides to order dessert, things get a little complicated. They come out of nowhere, as they do all the time and Finn stiffens at the grating voice that accompanies Quinn Fabray and pretends to not care when she presses her hip against his shoulder and trails the tips of her fingers along the back of his neck. She does it not to irritate him, but to irritate the person he is with, because she no longer cares about his feelings and only wants to piss the other person off. He keeps his eyes on Rachel as she stares at the three girls behind him and he sees her silently freak out in the presence of these three girls. She's reacting exactly the way Quinn wants her to react and in that moment, Finn wishes he could tell her that this is what Quinn wants and that she shouldn't give her the joy of seeing Rachel squirm. But just when he's about to say something, Quinn pulls out a chair and sits down between the two of them. She waves Finn off as he opens his mouth to speak and he swallows hard, closing his eyes briefly before turning back to look at Rachel who looks far more terrified than he's ever seen her, "And you are?"

"Rachel Berry."

"What is your relationship with Finn?"

"We're friends."

"Friends or friends? Because they both mean two very different things."

"Friends," Finn nods just a little as Rachel glances at him quickly and then leans back and looks down at the table as Quinn turns to look at him, "We're just friends."

"Well, that's definitely comforting. Because I wouldn't want you to think that you could get away with just about anything with my boyfriend while I'm in the same city."

"Boyfriend?"

"Quinn…"

"Oh, he didn't tell you?" Finn grinds his teeth as Quinn shifts in her chair so that she can look at the both of them and when she stretches out her hand to touch his cheek, Finn swats it away and notices the pain in her eyes as she drops her hand to her lap, "Finn and I have been together since forever. Baby, why didn't you tell her?"

"Because we're not together and have not been together for almost five months."

"Details, details," Quinn's words made Finn shift his attention back to Rachel as her eyes filled up and he kicked himself for letting things get this far, "Point is, Rachel, Finn and I are high school sweethearts and unlike other high school sweethearts, we're going the distance."

"I understand."

"Good girl, you're so much easier than the other girls that think they can turn their one night in some seedy motel with Finn into a full-fledged relationship."

"That's enough, Quinn."

"I'm just doing what's right, honey."

"I should go," Finn shook his head at Rachel's words and stood up as she did, biting down on his lip as she avoided his eyes and dropped money on the table beside her glass of water, "Thank you."

"Rachel, wait…" Finn shook Quinn off as she rested her hand on his arm and gave him what could be called her sweetest smile if she wasn't being such a total bitch about things. He watched Rachel run out of the restaurant, his heart pounding loudly in his chest as he tried to control his temper, "This isn't high school, Quinn."

"Keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better."

"What do I need to do to make you understand that we're not together anymore?"

"Nothing, because you're delusional about this and think that you can actually dump someone like me."

"I never thought you were stupid before, but right this minute I want nothing more than to punch you in the face."

"You wouldn't hurt me even if I broke your heart over and over again."

"No, but I know a way to make you fucking miserable."

"You wouldn't."

"Don't tempt me," Finn poked a finger in her face and silently rejoiced when Quinn recoiled and looked away. It wasn't till they had broken up that Finn realized how terrible a combination they were together. Just because their names sounded good together, did not mean that they worked as a couple. In fact, that was enough reason for them to not work. That and the fact that Quinn's only reasoning for being with Finn was because he was super popular and she wanted that status in school and possibly for the rest of her life. What she didn't understand was that Finn didn't want some trophy wife – or be a trophy husband – he just wanted someone who could appreciate him no matter what. And Quinn didn't know how to appreciate him. Most of their time together she had spent putting him down in front of their friends and now, it was his turn.

xxx

Rachel isn't even sure how she got back to her dorm because the minute she left the restaurant, the tears had clouded her sight. And it didn't matter that she was lying face first in her pillow, still sobbing, she couldn't get what had happened out of her head. Finn had a girlfriend. Of course he did. A guy like that couldn't be single and even if he was, he would be single long enough to snare the next girl. And she was never going to be that girl. It was thanks to girls like the ones she had encountered with Finn that Rachel believed she would never be the girl that guys like Finn Hudson picked. She was boring. She was simple. She was flawed. She wasn't blonde, or skinny, or beautiful or perfect. She was tiny and Jewish and opinionated and had a nose that was anything but beautiful. She was the opposite of those girls and Rachel now knew exactly why she had always been so shocked that Finn was interested in her. Greg was right about guys like Finn using girls like Rachel because they were so naïve and so caught up in the glitz and glamor of being noticed by boys that had it all. She had been so stupid and now she was paying the price for it by spending the rest of her college life alone. Then again, maybe she'd find someone to appreciate her for everything that she was. And she wouldn't let the boy fool her into thinking that she was the center of his universe. It had happened twice already and she wasn't going to stand by and let it happen a third time. She wasn't that stupid.

"Rachel!" Pushing the sheets that were covering her head, Rachel blinked at the pounding on her door and it took her a few minutes to realize what was going on, "Rachel, open the door."

"Go away, Finn, I don't want to see you."

"You need to let me explain."

"Explain what, exactly?" She was screaming from her position on the bed and it was irritating her throat, but she refused to get up and open the door so they could have a civilized conversation, "Just go away."

"I didn't lie to you, Rachel, I swear."

"No, you just avoided telling me the whole story."

"There is nothing to tell when it comes to Quinn and me, because it's not what she makes it out to be."

"Why would she lie about something like that?"

"Because I hurt her feelings when I ended the relationship."

"Why did you dump her, Finn?"

"Because I didn't want to be with her."

"How long were you two together before you dumped her?"

"How is that even relevant?"

"Everything is relevant, Finn," sighing heavily, Rachel climbed out of bed and opened the door a crack so that she could look at him, "You still love her."

"No, I don't."

"Do you love me?"

"Rachel…"

"You know what hurts the most?" she opened the door a little more and smoothed down her hair as she looked away, "You knew exactly what had happened to me before I met you. How I was treated badly by a guy I thought was perfect for me. You knew just how much he destroyed me and then the same thing happened all over again."

"I apologize for Quinn and her lack of self-control, but there is nothing happening between us anymore. It's been months since I even spoke to her."

"You don't need to apologize. We're not a couple. You don't love me like you loved her. We're just friends and for as long as we've been friends, we've had some pretty good sex. That's all we are and maybe that's all we're meant to be."

"You don't mean that."

"I'm convincing myself to believe it when I say it, because I can't keep doing this anymore."

"Doing what?"

"Falling in love with you when you don't even feel the same way about me and probably never will," Rachel looked up at him and noticed Finn's eyes widen, her heart clenching as she shook her head and gave him a soft smile, "Goodbye, Finn." She shut the door and locked it, biting down on her bottom lip as she leaned against the door and slid to the floor, cradling her face in her hands as her body shook with her sobbing.