Chapter 30

Hours earlier in the evening, Nikolai walked up the flights of stairs from the lower levels of Mikhail's home. It was quiet, just the way he liked it. Mikhail had gone to visit the strange twins who shared a lifemate, and Raven was visiting his Uncle Jacques with their son. Ever since he'd left the cave with the children, Nikolai felt out of place. It was ironic, as one time he longed for freedom. Of course, He had no wish to go back to the Guardian. But he also felt…lost.

His mind was maturing, gaining the intelligence he knew he could have once free of the spell which trapped them in time. Strangely, he and a few of the children had physically grown. Almost all of them stayed as young children, no more than three to six years of age. He, on the other hand, had grown from a younger looking boy of twelve to now looking like an adult male Carpathian. He was constantly making himself larger clothes, especially as his shoulders grew wider, his chest broader. No one had a real explanation as to why he was physically changing so rapidly.

Where he had not grown, was his power. Nikolai struggled to do what so many other mature males could when it came to skills needed to be a hunter of vampires. He could transform into smaller forms such as owls or moles. But he continually failed when it came to larger, more fierce creatures without someone else holding the image in his mind. He longed to find a way to become an enormous dragon or even just a large wolf. A vampire was not going to be frightened of a stupid owl. He also found it hard to create safeguards, a critical skill needed when it came to protecting one's home or resting place.

Mikhail reminded him that it could take years before mastering some of these basic capabilities. Despite his new physical appearance, he was no more than a boy in the eyes of the ancients. He, on the other hand, felt by far older. Once he discovered the amount of time they'd been in the cave, Nikolai estimated he was easily over one hundred years old. Raven and Mikhail tried to comfort him, but he was unused to any type of affection. For years, his main purpose had been to find ways to protect the children from the Guardian. And that meant trying to appease him in any way possible.

When the first Guardian began filling the cave with children, Nikolai was horrified when he learned blood was forcefully to be taken from each of them. One by one, they were presented to Nikolai as infants and even though he knew nothing about caring for a babe, he had no choice but to do the best he could. When they reached the age of five or six, a spell would be placed on them to stop them from growing before they became too strong. But sometimes the Guardian would become too impatient for whatever reason and have the spell cast on younger children at the age of three or four. Despite his limited abilities, Nikolai found ways to dull the pain for the children when they were constantly stabbed with needles. He wondered about this when other skills seem to be so difficult. Maybe it was his basic instinct to protect them which brought forth that power.

He fought the Guardian whenever things went too far with draining blood from the children. Sometimes the man would take far too much and Nikolai would physically attack him. He soon learned that was a futile effort as the Guardian would beat him mercilessly. Nikolai slowly began to use his wit to appease the man whenever possible. But the second Guardian, who was a strange Albino, had an even worse temper. Nikolai suffered more than a few beatings, some injuring him so badly he wasn't sure how he managed to survive.

Ever since the SongMaker freed them, Nikolai found it hard to adjust to normal life. He admired Armando but also resented him as the children now looked to him for leadership. Sure, Nikolai helped with the school in organizing activities and the children appreciated all he did. Yet when Armando walked into the room, Nikolai seemed to disappear, no matter how much the SongMaker tried to include him. His change in physical appearance was also strange to many of them. He just didn't feel like the same older brother they used to know.

Nikolai was a shadow compared to Mikhail, who was a powerful leader. Gregori, the Dark One, was especially fierce and protective of his uncle. For whatever reason, Gregori did not like Nikolai. The healer was respectful toward him but never friendly. And it wasn't just Gregori. Something was off with how other hunters looked at him as well, especially the female hunter Ivory. There was something in their eyes, like they did not trust him. When Mikhail prodded him to explain why he especially withdrew when other hunters were around, he admitted to sensing their suspicion of him. His uncle waved it off, citing it took time for any of the ancients to trust anyone. There were dark days in the past which created a heightened sense of concern. Mikhail encouraged him to even reach out to them for more guidance. He reminded Nikolai the ancients, although sometimes stoic, could be powerful allies and teachers.

But Nikolai continued to withdraw, uncertain of how to connect to the new world around him. He thought about asking more about his real father. He only knew that for whatever reason, his father had placed his trust in the wrong person. He didn't know the full details, but it sounded like the wizard Xavier was ultimately responsible for his death. Considering how Armando also followed a wizard and was captured, it sounded like the Carpathian people in general had been greatly betrayed by their former allies.

"Hi Nikolai."

Startled, Nikolai looked in the large Great Room to see Anya standing near a window. Like him, she had changed dramatically. She was the last of the infants presented to him and yet she had suddenly grown at such an alarming rate, it was hard for Nikolai to imagine her as a child of five anymore. Instead, she was now in the stage of a young girl around the age of thirteen or fourteen. She had extraordinary long brown hair that fell in soft waves below her waist. Her eyes were especially beautiful, almost a deep hazel color with long eyelashes. It was also hard not to see her development in other areas, most notably her chest.

"What are you doing here?"

"Hiding."

Nikolai raised an eyebrow. "Viktor?"

"You know how he can be. I just wanted some time to myself."

"Be thankful he is nothing like the Guardian we knew, Anya. Viktor lost his emotion long ago. He only thinks based on logic."

"He never lets me go anywhere except the school. And it's been even worse since the Songmaker has been gone. If he had his way, I'd just sit inside the house all night. Every since I've changed, he's become even more strict."

"Well, look at you. I hardly recognize you anymore," replied Nikolai. "He's just concerned with what is happening to you."

Anya used her fingers to brush her long hair away from her face. "To have concern, would mean he has emotion. He reminds me all the time of how he doesn't feel anything. I wish I were still little. I just…I don't feel like myself, anymore. Why did this happen to only a few of us?"

"I've been thinking," Nikolai said as he walked closer, "that perhaps it has something to do with the wizard who cast the spell."

"How?"

"Well, I only caught glimpses of them, but they were different. Maybe the wizard who cast the spell on you and a few of the others wasn't strong enough to do it correctly."

She frowned. "What do you mean? Like as soon as the trap in time was removed, a few of us didn't have the proper spell cast upon us? And we suddenly physically caught up equivalent to the time we were held?"

"Something like that. I was the first, so I'm sure I was more of the experiment."

"Why would they even care? It's not like the Guardian was ever going to let us go."

"If they ever had to move us, they may have needed to lift the spell briefly. I'm sure they didn't want to risk us suddenly maturing and having more power."

"Sometimes I'm jealous of all the other children. They get to have parents and a childhood. Then I started growing so fast and in just in a few months, it's all gone for me." Her eyes began to tear up and Nikolai tried hard not to grow annoyed. She seemed to get emotional all the time now.

"Hey, it will be okay."

"How will it be okay, Nikolai? I don't even have any friends now."

"Of course you do."

"I'm more like a big sister now than anything else. It's not that I don't care about the other children. But I was the youngest! And now I'm one of the oldest? I'm so confused."

"Well, I'm here."

"You don't count."

Nikolai huffed. "Thanks."

"Oh, you know what I mean!" She wiped her eyes, but her voice cracked. "You're a lot older than me. There's no one else my age! I don't know who I am, anymore."

"As if you ever did?" Hell, Nikolai was asking himself the same question. She wasn't the only one feeling confused. What about him? He was sick of placing everyone else before him for so long. "You need to be a little more thankful, Anya. You could be back in that cave right now. And at least you didn't take the beatings I did."

When she began to cry, Nikolai's heart softened. "Come on, now. Look, I didn't mean to be insensitive or anything."

She held herself. "I just…I know what you're saying. I am grateful we were saved. But I didn't know it was going to be like this."

"Anya," said Nikolai softly, now feeling guilty, "come here."

She ran to him and he embraced her like the small child she once was. He let her cry for a little while he stroked her hair. It felt nice to be needed by someone. And he probably needed this more than he realized.

The room dropped in temperature and Nikolai looked up to see Viktor now standing several feet away. The ancient was so silent, Nikolai hadn't heard a sound, reminding him once again how inferior his own skills were in comparison.

Viktor's eyes darkened upon seeing them. "Let go of her, Nikolai."

"She's upset."

"And now I am here."

When Anya buried her head even further into Nikolai's chest, his protective instincts flared. "I raised Anya from an infant. You have barely known her. If she chooses to come to me for comfort, then so be it."

"I was chosen by the SongMaker to watch over her. She is under my protection."

"And not mine?" asked Nikolai, his temper rising.

"It is different now." He glided closer to them.

"How?" When Viktor didn't answer, Nikolai frowned. "Go on, say what you're thinking!"

"Your protection is limited in comparison to mine. Anya belongs to me, now."

His ego bruised, Nikolai eyed Viktor's strong arms. The man was nothing but pure muscle and power. And Nikolai hated him for it. "You talk as if Anya were a thing you own. Step away and leave her alone."

Anya trembled and looked up at him. "Nikolai, don't-"

Viktor interrupted her. His voice dangerously low. "I can easily take her by force, Nikolai. Back down now."

Nikolai tightened his hold on Anya, ready to snap again at Viktor. But she suddenly pushed away from him.

"No!" she said to Viktor, "I won't let you hurt him."

"I don't need your protection, Anya," hissed Nikolai. He was suddenly angry at her for placing him a position to defend her. And then she pushes away from him? Now he felt even more insulted. He may have limited abilities, but his spirit was strong. "Take her, do what you want with her," snapped Nikolai. "I don't care, anymore."

"Nikolai!" cried Anya. "I didn't mean it that way. I love you."

If the room could grow any colder, Nikolai swore ice was going to form.

"Go home now," ordered Viktor as he looked down at Anya. "I will be right behind you so I will know if you do not obey me."

Holding back her tears, Anya turned and walked outside. She transformed into a small owl, then flew out into the night.

Nikolai narrowed his eyes at Viktor. "For someone who shouldn't have emotion, it's surprising how strongly you seem to react about her being with me."

Viktor spoke in a cool voice. "You are a young male, Nikolai. Anya is physically changing. I don't need to point out what that means." In the blink of an eye, the ancient transformed into a large hawk and flew out into the night, following after Anya.

Nikolai stared after them. In a way, he understood what Viktor meant. There were still too many unattached males, many on the verge of turning who could easily take Anya. Logically, he was right to closely watch over her, especially as she became more irrational with her emotions. But he also hated seeing her so unhappy. And Viktor was overbearing as hell, so who was to say he might not turn on her as well? It was definitely something he had to keep his eye on. Maybe he should even talk to Armando about the situation.

Thinking of Armando, he decided to fly out to the school. Perhaps he would see the SongMaker there. Nikolai was disappointed when he missed the ancient's return last night as he'd been on one of his solo flights. Mikhail didn't like it when he went out alone, but Nikolai found the night air to calm his mind and emotions. After being in a cave for so many years, he couldn't stand to be kept inside for very long.

He transformed into a brown owl and flew out into the night. The air was crisp and the moon was full. He swooped down toward the ground a few times, simply enjoying the feeling that he was free. Finally, in the distance on smaller mountain, he saw the newly built school. Because of its need for secrecy, no local townspeople had assisted with in its construction.

When he landed, Nikolai was disappointed to find the school dark. The SongMaker was probably staying home with Janelle one more evening after their long journey. He walked around the outside of the school and started to practice undoing the safeguards. He usually had to try at least three or four times before he could completely disarm the traps, so it was frustrating.

An owl hooted and Nikolai looked up to see Josef descending. He transformed before he landed, his human fee landing perfectly on the ground, a feat Nikolai hadn't yet mastered.

Josef grinned at him. "How goes it, Nikolai?"

He shrugged his shoulders in response. "Armando isn't here."

"Yeah, I can see that. So why are you here?"

"I figured I could help set some things up. The school's been closed for a while so maybe there are a few things I can do to help get things organized."

Josef nodded. "Need any help getting in?"

"No," Nikolai quickly replied. "I'm fine."

"Oh yeah? Let's see you unravel the safeguards then."

He shot Josef an irritated look. "I got this. You don't need to stay."

"I don't really have anything else to do, right now. I just left Uncle Byron's home as he wanted me out of his hair."

"I wonder why," muttered Nikolai. Josef wasn't all that bad, but he could definitely be annoying sometimes.

"So? You going to get in or not?"

Nikolai frowned and began to chant. The first safeguard came down easily. But the next few were much more complicated.

"You're doing it wrong."

"I said I didn't need your help,"

Josef came closer, making Nikolai stiffen. "I'm just saying, you need to place more emphasis on certain words."

"You know what? Fine. Go ahead."

Within seconds, Josef had the safeguards unraveled. "You just need to practice more. Safeguards were actually one of the easiest things I learned early on," he boasted.

"Well, good for you," said Nikolai with heavy sarcasm as he entered the school.

"Yeah, well it doesn't come easy to all of us. I'm sure in time you'll get it."

Frustrated, Nikolai entered one of the classrooms and waved a hand for lights to come on. "You act like you're a master of everything."

"Well, I don't like to brag, but I learned a lot of things when I was pretty young."

"Oh yeah? Like what? I heard Darius managed to transform into something large enough to rescue other children long ago when he was just a child himself. You ever do something like that?" challenged Nikolai.

"Nah, who cares about transforming into big creatures anymore. I used to do that when I was younger."

"Whatever," grumbled Nikolai as he walked over to a nearby cabinet. He knew Armando would probably want to continue a lecture on the earth and its healing powers. So he opened the doors to start taking out some various types of soil and rocks for the next lesson.

"Well, I can understand your temper. I mean, you have a lot to overcome given what happened to your father."

Nikolai froze, then slowly turned his head. "What did you just say?"

"Draven, your father. Uncle Byron says the sickness seems to run in the Dubrinsky family line."

"My father was betrayed by Xavier."

Josef looked at him in confusion. 'No, he wasn't. He formed an allegiance with Xavier to bring down Prince Vlad, your grandfather."

Nikolai felt his anger rising, his hands were curling into fists. "What are you saying?"

"I told you. He had the sickness."

"Stop saying that," growled Nikolai.

Josef shrugged. "If you want to front like you don't know what happened, that's fine. But everyone knows."

Nikolai didn't even remember moving. One moment he was at the cabinet, the next he was on top of Josef after delivering a blow to his face.

"What the hell?" hissed Josef.

"You lie!" spat Nikolai.

"I'm not lying," growled Josef as he wiped blood from his mouth. "And get the hell off me!" Josef shoved him so hard, Nikolai was sent flying into the cabinet which fell with a crash.

After that, Nikolai lost all sense of control and launched himself at Josef, pinning him against a wall. "My father was not a traitor!"

Josef was taken by surprise from Nikolai's strength. He thought about transforming into mist but couldn't help himself from first lashing back. "No? Maybe you should ask Ivory."

Nikolai clenched his jaw, the sound of blood roaring through his ears. There was something else inside of him, and he was barely able to keep it contained. "Ivory," he repeated in a low voice that was unrecognizable even by him.

Josef narrowed his eyes. "I heard he wanted her even though she wasn't his lifemate. So he bought her from Xavier to use as he pleased." And then Josef gasped as the air was sucked out of his lungs while he felt excruciating pain in his chest. Josef looked down, horrified to see Nikolai had struck him so hard, his hand had broken through his chest, ready to tear out his heart. He feebly grabbed Nikolai's wrist in an effort to stop him. But Josef had lost all strength. He was in complete shock, helpless and unable to defend himself.

Nikolai was looking at Josef through a red haze. His anger knew no bounds and he felt a surge of power like none other before. The shock in Josef's eyes fueled his strength and for a moment, Nikolai could actually touch the beating heart through the chest he'd broken. And for a brief breath in time, Nikolai felt invincible, no longer the little boy who coward before an evil Guardian.

"Nikolai."

He froze at the sound of Armando's voice, blinking and suddenly realizing what was happening. The red haze was easing, making Nikolai realize suddenly what he'd done.

"Let him go, Nikolai. Now."

Numbly, he obeyed the SongMaker and pulled back his hand. Josef fell to the floor and Armando was there in an instant. As he began to recite the healing chant, Armando's golden eyes flickered as he looked up at Nikolai.

Shaking, Nikolai looked down and saw blood everywhere. His entire hand and arm was covered in red, making him realize just how close he'd been to extracting Josef's heart. He fell to the floor on his knees and took up the healing chant with Armando, desperate to do anything he could to heal Josef.

After what felt like an eternity, the wound closed and Armando swayed with weariness as he got to his feet. "He needs blood."

Nikolai tore open his own wrist and held it out to Josef. But Josef smacked his wrist away. "Get away from me," he rasped.

"I'm sorry, I-I didn't mean-"

"I said get the fuck away from me!" snapped Josef, breathing heavily. "And don't ever think about offering me any of your tainted blood again."

Nikolai backed away, his own heart pounding in both anger and despair. He felt a gust of wind and when he turned around, Nikolai found Mikhail looking down at him with dark eyes.