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Harry Potter And The Father
Chapter 24
Panic Attacks and Trying To Get Back To Normal For Harry's Sake
Severus being a light sleeper that he was woke up to the insistent tugging. There was also a strange wheezing sound coming from somewhere. What could it be? Usually it was so silent down in the dungeons; he had nothing that made noise. That was until yesterday's events caught up with him, his eyes shot open and what he saw just about scared the life out of him. His son was gasping and wheezing for breath, he was having a panic attack. He couldn't even think about bringing him out of it the normal way, he summoned a calming draught. He caught it, his hands shaking as he uncorked it, to say it was hard getting him to swallow was like saying elephants were tiny. Eventually a small amount managed to tickle down his throat, and it calmed him down enough to swallow the rest. Grabbing his tiny son to him, he clutched him as relief poured through him utterly shaken by what had just transpired. Those small seconds seemed like minutes to him, as he pressed desperate kisses to Harry's hair. Patting at him, listening to him breathing reassuring himself that he was indeed still with him. If this kept up he was going to have white hair before the end of the year he was sure of it.
Harry clutched his daddy to him just as tightly as his father was him. His small body shaking with rapidly now fading fear; through the calming draught. After a few minutes Harry slumped against his father, the calming draught doing its job.
"It's alright little one, you're fine, and I've got you" whispered Severus, the words more directed to himself than Harry. As he rocked him back and forth as the tremors finally eased off. He felt the need to have a calming draught himself right now but he didn't.
Severus couldn't help but wonder if the panic attack had anything to do with Lupin. He had a funny feeling it was, since Harry had never had one before with him. It made him want to rush to Azkaban and kill the blasted wolf, if the thing was even there yet.
During the small quick trial Bartemius Crouch Senior and Junior had been mentioned too. Severus remembered Black telling him about it, but it hadn't fully sunk in. The man who had once tried to become the Minister of Magic, basically disowning his own son in his ambitions to do so, had done something illegal. Left his own dying wife in Azkaban took his Death Eater son out and let his wife rot in the pits of Azkaban. Where all dead convicts go eventually when they die in the hell hole they call Azkaban. He wondered what had become of the son now; he couldn't be seen so just what the hell had Bartemius Senior done? Sent his son abroad? Or was Junior trying to figure out a way to bring back Voldemort. The little bastard had cursed the Longbottom's into insanity along with the Lestrange's. What had the man been thinking? He could only hope the boy, er rather now man was just laying low.
"Daddy?" whimpered Harry ever so softly.
"What's wrong son?" asked Severus soothingly, bringing himself rather sharply from his thoughts. His son needed him; he couldn't loose himself in his thoughts of Barty Crouch Junior for Merlin's sake.
"Where's that man?" shuddered Harry even under the calming potion.
"He's in Azkaban," said Severus honestly, his son needed to know so he could heal and move on from what that bastard had done. If Lupin had touched his son there would be hell to pay, he would kill him consequences be damned. Azkaban wasn't inescapable obviously, or Black and Crouch Junior wouldn't have managed to get out.
Harry remained quiet, very confused what was Azkaban? He had never heard of it before. Was it where all the bad men go? Was he safe from the amber eyed man. He didn't like him; he had hurt him, made him cold and took him to a scary looking place. That had reminded him of his cupboard very badly, it had shaken the child very much.
"Azkaban is a place where horrid and evil people go; they cannot get out because it is a small island. If he ever did there are spells that would let them know and they would hunt him down. He will never get to you again son, how did he take you out of the Great Hall without anyone noticing?" explained and asked Severus patting him on the back calming him down. Explaining things in a way a three year old child could understand.
"We were under a cloak" explained Harry as best as he could.
"A cloak?" asked Severus utterly bewildered.
"He means the invisibility cloak," said Sirius opening the door.
"Excuse me?" asked Severus not happy that Black was wandering around his quarters like that. Another part of him confused, what on earth did he mean, invisibility cloak they were extremely rare.
"James has an invisibility cloak; he gave it to Dumbledore before he went into hiding. It was the most valuable thing he owed, he waned to make sure his son got something of his should the worst happen. He laughed it off though after he did it saying he was being sentimental. He didn't even believe Lily when she said she felt like something was going to happen. Not even a week later…they died and she…she was right." sighed Sirius. He had bags under his eyes; he hadn't slept well at all. Even in his animagus form, which was registered by the Ministry of magic now. Even the slightly bit of cold and he was bombarded with images he wished to forget. Which was why the fire was burning very brightly in Severus Snape's quarters right now.
"That is not something a child should own," said Severus sniffing in disapproval.
Sirius said nothing; it wasn't up to him either way.
"Where is that map?" asked Sirius curiously.
Severus' eyes darkened at the mention of that thing, he had seen something similar being carried around by the Marauders. He had assumed wrongfully as a child that it was just spare parchment with joke or prank ideas. How wrong he had been, oh no it was a bloody map of the entire school. It was no wonder they always found him no matter where he hid from them. Sure he had given as good as he got, but damn it he shouldn't have needed too.
"Accio map!" chanted Severus his wand in hand, it would be useful to keep an eye on all the students especially ones out of bed at night. Sirius Black certainly wasn't getting his hands on it, plus should anything happen to Harry he would know straight away, who, how and the where. Sirius didn't have a wand; it had been snapped when he had been brought in. He was going to have to go and get another one from Ollivander's once the papers had enough chance to circulate.
Once Severus had the map he also summoned the invisibility cloak. Sirius had to bite his tongue to stop himself saying something. Chanting to himself that it wasn't his place, he wasn't Harry's uncle, er father. He didn't have custody of him and if he wanted to see him he best keep it shut. Once both items were in Severus' possession he noticed Harry was almost choking him.
"Harry it's alright calm down, do you not remember him helping you?" questioned Severus loosing Harry's death grip slightly. Harry just burrowed himself deeper into him. Severus was almost bewildered with confusion, but Harry had a right to be clingy. Which was why Severus stopped questioning him and just let Harry get any measure of comfort he obviously sought.
A knock surrounded his quarters, Severus got off the bed Harry still attached to him like a limpet. Curling his arms around him to keep Harry from falling he answered his door - it was Minerva and it was obviously the newspaper she was coming with. It wasn't the first time she had come down with the paper and he wondered what was on the front page that had gotten her rattled enough to come down this early.
"Both Barty's have been arrested!" she said breathlessly as she entered his quarters making herself quite at home.
"How long for?" questioned Severus sitting down on a chair. The question left his mind as he jumped in shock when Harry's panther flew through the air into Harry's arms. His onyx eyes filling with pride, Harry had just done his first bout of accidental magic - in a castle that actually stopped it.
"Well done little one" said Severus the pride would have been hard to miss in his voice. Only a deaf man could have ever missed it, and no one was deaf here.
Harry's green eyes had been watching his daddy's fearfully. The other times he had performed such stunts he was beaten and hurt. He had wanted his teddy so badly, he didn't want to get it he had wanted it now! His magic had reacted to his wish and he had summoned it. Harry positively melted and beamed at his daddy. He had done something right! Magic wasn't freakish at all. He was safe here! He was accepted and without even realizing it another hurdle had been passed. That settled Harry wrapped his arms around his panther and snuggled into his dad.
"Bartemius Crouch Senior was arrested for breaking his son out and keeping him under the imperious curse. Junior was re-arrested basically for his crimes against the Longbottom's" said Minerva smiling softly despite her grim news.
"The imperious curse?" choked Severus surprised. He had assumed Senior had sent his son abroad to live out his days.
"Yes, apparently it was his wife's wish to die in her son's stead, and like an idiot Barty could deny her nothing. Now he has destroyed his life, goodness knows what would have happened if you hadn't seen it Sirius!" said Minerva.
"What does it say about me?" asked Sirius curiously.
"That you were framed, are innocent and Pettigrew has had his Order of Merlin revoked and he's now officially a wanted man. It's going to be a sight to see Auror's looking for rats everywhere looking for an animagus" said Minerva grimly.
"Good" snarled Sirius viciously.
"Would you like some breakfast Minerva?" asked Severus, he needed some strong black coffee and some strengthening solution to get through the day. He was exhausted; he had barely slept last night too busy at the Ministry. Unlike his son who had slept through everything, even the trial. Which Severus had taken him to, and kept him in his arms at all times. He had meant what he said last night; he wasn't letting his son out of his sight not even for a second.
It was only once Blinky had set up breakfast for everyone did he realize his son was sleeping once more. He had given his son too much calming draught; thankfully it wouldn't do anything to him. He had just been so bloody scared out of his wits to think straight.
"Harry had a panic attack this morning" said Severus his voice sounded pained.
"Oh dear, I do hope it's not a permanent thing!" said Minerva worriedly.
"I do as well, or I'm afraid we are going to have to keep calming draughts handy. Then learn Harry to realize when they are coming and take one himself." said Severus grimly.
"Do what Dumbledore does put the calming draught into sweets" said Sirius.
Severus sneered in disgust at the thought of Dumbledore.
"Okay…what have I missed?" asked Sirius seeing the twin looks of disgust on Minerva and Severus supported.
"Dumbledore knew about Lily, insisted the 'blood wards' were important and sent him off to Petunia. She wasn't even blood related; there were no wards up at all. He never told Severus about Lily being his sister, or the fact Harry was indeed his nephew. When Severus did find out, Dumbledore tried to ensure Harry was sent back to the Dursley's abusive care. Yes before you ask he did indeed know how he was treated. Black don't do anything stupid that will get you put right back in Azkaban you have just got released. Dumbledore's popularity has taken a nose dive; nobody cares about what he thinks anymore. Now that this has gotten out about him letting a werewolf come to Hogwarts…I don't know if he will be Headmaster much longer." sighed Minerva gloomily.
Sirius sat there his mouth scrunched up as if he wanted to let loose every singe curse word he knew. He also knew if he did that he would wake Harry up, and right now he didn't want to. Harry seemed jumpier than a grasshopper and that couldn't be good for him. He had already had a calming draught and he couldn't get another one so no he had best not open his mouth. Snape might just do what he had probably wanted to do since seeing his name on the map. Before actually hearing him defending Harry rather than wanting to kill him. He could already tell Severus was extremely protective of Harry, and he realized why.
"I see" Sirius managed to rasp ten minutes later, he found both Minerva and Severus were calmly eating breakfast. As if mind blowing revelations was an every day thing, which it was to those two stiff seemingly stoic people.
How Snape managed to eat his breakfast as dignified as that with a child on his chest Black didn't know. He shook his head, realizing his stomach was growling he too dug into a hearty breakfast. Christmas was soon to come, soon the Hogwarts grounds would be covered from head to foot, everything bar the whomping willow of course. As nothing could touch it without it being flung fifty foot in the air. Icicles hanging from the towers and roofs of the beautiful school. Especially at night, the warm glow of candles and lights making the castle look even more homely and inviting.
Harry had never had a Christmas before, and Severus was determined to see that he enjoyed all holidays. Christmas, birthday's, Easters everything he had missed out on. Unknown to Harry, Severus had actually already begun buying him presents; most were currently education books right now. His ABC's and numbers, letters things he would learn when he turned five. It was never too early to start learning them things; he had also gotten him another junior potions kit. His other one that had made green bubbles. It was basically a small picture book with ingredients in it that made frizz. If you did them in the wrong order you got pink frizz. Of course Harry would have put them in the wrong order if he hadn't helped. Still didn't make him any less proud though, he couldn't wait until Harry was older and able to read and write. He so wanted to brew a potion with his son but that time would come. He had to keep telling himself watching his son grow up was a chance he never thought he'd have. He'd want Harry this age again when the time came to brew potions with his son he couldn't win! Even with his own thoughts.
The story is at the stage now that i'm stuck...will i skip a while? have him start Hogwarts? with dumbledore still headmaster? or would you like to see harry's christmas' and birthdays at least a few before you see him at hogwarts? what will he see in the mirror of erised? will dumbledore leave it out in hopes of something happening and snape getting blamed? will he be back to his old tricks? will we see quirrell taken over by voldemort sooner and him hurting ten year old harry? or will he have normal years at school? will pettigrew ever be caught? will he even bring Voldemort back? R&R PLEASE!