Chapter 5: Back to School With Better Cards! and A New Girl?

Nobu wakes up from his drugged ass sleep not remembering what happen in the last two days. Apparently, he's been sleeping for 3 days straight. Fumo's smoke is just that good.

"Huh? Where am I?" Nobu looks around and notices he's in school wearing his uniform sitting at the bottom left corner of the classroom like any other typical anime character. "How the hell did I even get here?

"Kay, time to wake up sleepy head." It was a girl named Midori in Nobu's class greeting him. Nobu use to have a crush on her cuz of her pretty face and cute green eyes and hair but then he got puberty and started getting into girls with bigger boobs. Plus, the way Midori talks is just annoying as hell.

"Oh it's just you," said Nobu staring at her chest, still flat as ever.

"It's Monday but class is over now, kay? You can't keep sleeping all thru class again. Oh, and we got a new student now kay?"

Nobu looks around him and didn't see anyone new...

"Well who is it? I don't see any HOLYSHIT!THEFUCKISTHEGRUDGEDOINGHERE?"

Grudge girl with them big-o blue eyes is back with a facedown on Nobu.

"Cmon, you remember her from last chapter, right?" Midori asked. "This is Yuu, kay? She'll be sitting next to you from now on, kay?"

Nobu thought in his head, "...Fuckkkkk..."

"Oh yea," remembered Midori. "Kay, you must have gotten one of these right?"

Midori held up a Lupia card that MrFumo was handing out for the five possible candidates of being the main character.

"Oh yea, that..." Nobu took out his deck and sees his Lupia card on top. "Hey, does this means you're trying to be a main character too?

"That's right! Which means we're gonna be rivals, kay?" Midori pulled out her deck ready to duel. "Let's have a match. I want to test out this new, main character dragon deck, kay?"

The classroom was empty. Only the two duelist and that stalker girl creeping next to Nobu were left.

"Kay kay kay..." thought Nobu. "That's all I ever hear from you. Whatever. I'm gonna win and become king of main characters! Let's duel!"

The shields popped up with Nobu going first but something was off...

"Hey! What the.." Nobu puzzled as he looked at the cards in his hands. "These aren't my cards. Where's my Bullshit Dragon?"

"Things have changed since you been sleeping, kay?" Midori explains how MrFumo did a time lapse and shifted the storyline in fanfic forward just like how a year passed when Sora was sleeping in between Kingdom Hearts 1 and 2. He wanted to incorporate the Japanese cards cuz the English cards had crappy potential.

"How the hell did Fumo did that?"

"Master Fumo knows all, sees all," answered the creepy little girl with the squeaky voice. Yuu was staring point blank at Nobu while he tries to push her face away.

"Well these cards seem better than my old deck," commented. "But wheres my Bullshit Dragon that gives me the auto win?"

"Oh, that card's been banned now, kay?" explained the kay girl. "Everyone knows you auto win if you summon it first. It's more broken than the EX in an EX form Desperado Chaos from Final Fantasy Dissidia, so yea, kay?"

Nobu had nothing but freakin high mana costing dragons. He was pretty pissed off that he wasn't able to play anything until the third turn, summoning a pussy birdy, Lyla Litta. Still pissed tho...

Meanwhile, Midori casted Faerie Life to get a mana boost on the second turn.

"Fucken Fumo," growled Nobu. "He's always trying to get me to lose..."

"Umm, you kay? Anyways, I summon Faerie Lupia, kay? This is one of the special lupia cards, kay? It has two abilities. First, it has Faerie Life so its like a Lupia version of Brozne-Arm-Tribe, kay? Then it has Dragon Call, which all of the special Lupia cards from MrFumo has, kay? Dragon Call let's me send Faerie Lupia back into my deck to send a dragon card to the top of my deck at the end of my turn, kay?"

"OKAY... I get it," said Nobu all annoyed. "I can read the card... the readers don't really care about early game anyways."

"Oh, and I summon Snow-Gorge Fairy, Maruru too, kay?"

"...Fuckin fairies..." Nobu didn't know if Midori's kays were more annoying that Yuu's endless stalker staring.

Buy anyways, Nobu draws his next card and it happens to be his lupia card from the Fumo.

"Now it's my turn to throw down my special lupia. I summon Speed Lupia. It has speed attacker, along with Dragon call, so you know what that means, kay? Lol"

Nobu double breaks her shields with Speed Lupia and Lyla Litta. The shields blasted into pieces and reformed in Midori's hand. Lyla Litta's ability also forces Nobu takes one of his shields too which was exactly the card he needed.

"And with Dragon call ability, I'll return Speed Lupia into the deck. I got the perfect combo for my next move."

"Not bad, kay?" Midori draws the dragon card she got using Faerie Lupia's ability.

"I summon Faerie Terradragon, Shuchiki."

A giant dragon with fairy wings appeared all glittery and girly and shit...

"Okay, now I know you're just making shit up," said Nobu all pissed. "That's not even a real card."

"Master Fumo makes new cards whenever he feels like it," answered Yuu, still creeping up close at Nobu. "Master Fumo can create any card and throw it in this fanfic just to keep things interesting."

Yuu's voice scares the shit out of Nobu, not to mention her freakin bigass eyeballs, but he had to keep cool to win.

"So what's this ripoff of Ancient Fairy Dragon do anyways?"

"Shuchiki is a five mana, earth dragon/snow faerie, kay? The power is only 3000 but the ability makes you send you're weakest monster to your mana zone, kay?"

Nobu loses his only creature, the little Lyla Litta, to the mana zone.

"Now Maruru, attack his shields, kay?"

Nobu smiled giving a sinister chill to what's about to happen next.

"I was hoping you do that." Nobu laid his trap by using the strike-back ability of DualShock Dragon, discarding the broken shield and another one of his shields to summon badass DualShock Dragon during Midori's turn.

"It's all over now!" shouted Nobu, always quick to conclusions. "Here's the dragon card I got from Speed Lupia. Shadow Sword, Yagyuu Dragon!"

"Umm, kay?"

A little red dragon egg materialize, only to be shattered from the inside, spawning some big ass dragon.

"And since I got two armored dragons, I get to summon Valkerios Dragon with its zero gravity ability."

Now there's three bigass dragons. Too bad they don't have speed attacker.

"... kay?"

"Oh but I'm not done yet. Yagyuu Dragon's ability lets me untap all my mana cards that are dragons. That's pretty much all of them except Lyla Litta."

"My final card is... Hey wait, what happen to everyone else from the last episode?"

"Well, Mokubo went AWOL to find a new fanfic cuz he got fired for being unwanted, kay? And Donathan was caught wacking off on Playgirl porno and got suspended for the week, kay?"

"I knew it! Only gay guys would look at Playgirl porno..."

"Anyways, my final card is Super Divine Star, Lila Bolstorm!" Nobu fused all three dragons into one fatass phoenix dragon thing...

With a power of 18000, Lila Bolstorm triple breaks all of Midori's shields, along with meteorburing Midori's Maruru creature and one of Midori's mana.

"Fuck yeah!" cheered Nobu. "The new bullshit dragon is back bitch!"

The background screen behind Midori shattered like glass and darkness begun to encircle the room.

"What did you just call me?" Midori's bangs dropped in front of her face as she tilted her head down, like a crippled zombie.

A bad vibe was coming out of her. Nobu got even more chills from Midori now than that little girl right next to him, still face stalking him, of course.

"Umm, it was a joke," worried Nobu. "I didn't necessarily called you a bitch... It's just annoying with your kays and shit, you know?"

"You called me a BITCH?" A giant wave of energy exploded out of Midori's anger.

"Uh... you forgot to say kay, but uh..." Nobu was freaking out with the weird wind blowing from her. "This must be some kind of weird anime transformation like how Yugi turns into Yami-Yugi."

Midori did one of those Sailor Moon transformation sequences. Her height and her hair grew double in length but most importantly, she got a hotter body and her breasts got wayyy bigger. She was still in her school uniform but the dress now became a mini skirt and her top became a white semi-transparent collar shirt. Plus, the cleavage on her shirt were freakin huge. The shirt buttons ripping out, due to the enormous boob job, gave Nobu a nose bleed...

"MUNE-MIDORI'S BACK BITCHES! YOU THINK YOU GONNA WIN? I GOT A TRIGGER RIGHT HERE, BITCH!"

Midori's transformation caused her sexy alter-ego, Mune-Midori to take over. Mune-Midori cast Faerie Life as a trigger and the top card from her deck came out to be a nature/fire mana card. Over-the-top-anime-climax!

Nobu was phasing fast over the boobies of Mune-Midori to even care.

"Shes... the only character... in this... freakin fanfic... with boobies..."

"YES BITCH! I GOT SOME FUCKIN FIRE CARDS IN HERE TOO! I CAST WHIRLWIND SLASHAND FAERIE GIFT, BITCH! ALL MY CREATURES GETS SPEED ATTACKER AND THE NEXT SUMMON COST THREE MANA LESS, BITCH!"

Mune-Midori holds out the last card she has in a back-hand position with her middle finger in front of the card.

"I SUMMON KACHUA, KEEPER OF THE FUCKIN ICEGATE, BITCH!"

A little fairy with a flute popped up ready to play.

"NOW MY FAIRY BITCH IS GONNA BLOW REAL HARD, LIKE THAT GREEN POWER RANGER, TO SUMMON THAT BIGASS DRAGONZORD, BITCH!"

The theme music of the Green Ranger blowing his fake flute dagger, from Mighty Morphin, started playing. Na! Na-na, na-na-NA!

Mune-Midori summons Terradragon, BagnaBorne from her deck using Kachua's tap ability.

"DRAGON BITCH, BREAK HIS MOTHAFUCKIN SHIELDS!"

One of the last of Nobu's two shields had a Super Flaming Hell's Scrapper trigger, killing Mune-Midori's remaining dragon, Shuchiki. Yet, Nobu was still focusing on that damn sexy cleavage.

"You're... cups... are getting... bigger... every... I just came..."

"YOU READY TO SEE A REAL BULLSHIT DRAGON, BITCH?"

Bagnaborne's ability let's Mune-Midori summon another dragonzord, Super Terradragon, Variant Vades from the mana zone as a galaxy vortex evolution, synthesizing with Super-Heveanly Nova, Balga Raizou, Soul Phoenix, Avatar of Unity, and Terradragon, Dirga Vegeta lol. It's over 9000!

"BITCH, IT'S WAY OVER NINE THOUSAND! MY FUCKIN BULLSHIT DRAGON HAS 51000 POWER, BITCH!"

The gigantic emerald dragon, descended from the heavens, dropped down to give that bitch, Mune-Midori, her first fuckin win.

"BULLSHIT DRAGONZORD, FINISH HIM! … BITCH!"

The duel ended with Variant Vades annihilating Nobu and knocking him into the classroom wall. Nobu didn't felt a thing since all his blood had dripped out of his nose. His boner was sticking way out as he laid on the floor. Stalker loli, of course, was standing right next to him taking cellphone pictures of it.

Midori came back to her senses but forgotten what had happen...

TO BE CONTINUED... kay?

"Hi readers. It's Yuu here. Master Fumo's sleeping. Mokubo's gone so I'm subbing in his place for Fumo Facts."

Yuu's little loli personality makes it cute and adorable for her to host today's Fumo Facts. But since she doesn't blink with them big-o-eyeballs of her's and continuously smiles, staring right straight at you, the entire time... just gives you the creeps doesn't it?

"Today, we'll be going over Master Fumo's fanfic cards. Master Fumo can create random cards during anytime of the fanfic. Last chapter, Master Fumo made the five Lupia cards. Now we saw Faerie Terradragon, Shuchiki. Master Fumo's great huh. Now I have to go stalk Nobu again."

Yuu turns around walks into the boy's bathroom...

"HOLYSHIT!WHATTHEFUCKISTHE...

Credits: All made by MrFumo (u.u) .zZ