Cherry:

Getting the crockpot professor to pair me with Black was easy. She was practically spineless after all. She practically had a seizure whenever I approached her alone. Honestly what did she expect me to do? Actually be a vampire and try to bleed her to death? You know, I really wasn't appreciative of whoever started that rumor. I mean, I wasn't that pale. Also I would like to point out that if I was actually a vampire I wouldn't go after her. She was practically so old her blood probably would have tasted like dust. Anyways, back to her seizures. They were probably why when I cornered her before class started she looked like she was going to go into cardiac arrest.

"You're going to pair me with Sirius Black," I told her. "You're going to do it and not tell anyone it was my idea, understand?"

She nodded quickly, "O – Okay."

I gave her a smile. I bet she had been a Hufflepuff when she was a student here… "Thanks professor," I told her in a sickly sweet voice. Honestly that voice made my own skin crawl. I skipped happily to my seat. I don't know if it was the cannabis that I smoked earlier that morning or what but the day was definitely looking bright. Now all I had to do was wait for Black to get there so I could start things off with a bang. The Puff was starting to get antsy about us not starting already and I could only handle so many of her anxiety attacks. Honestly, didn't she know that you can't hurry art? I mean, technically you can but you'd end up with a Picasso instead of a Michelangelo. Maybe this wasn't exactly the Sistine Chapel or anything but I needed my time.

I began to boredly doodle on the desktop with my quill. I was just about to finish the Ginger Menace's execution scene (death by a thousand paper cuts, of course) when the mousey professor called the class to order. I don't even know what her actual name was. Generally I just referred to her as Professor Spineless due to the fact that... well she was spineless of course. Whatever her real name was I was pretty sure my name for her described her better.

"Alright class, today is the day we start our first project of the term. This is a partner project and it'll be due at the end of next month. You are expected to meet with your partner at least twice a week and I expect each of you to keep a log of your meeting times." Professor Spineless might have actually sounded like she had a full-fledge backbone if she didn't have a wispy, passive voice. "The project will involve each partnership choosing one muggle contraption to write a report about and make a presentation about. This project is worth 20% of your overall grade so I suggest you take it seriously. There be more details about the presentation later but the report should include the history of the contraption, its uses and the mechanics behind it. I expect it to be no less than two feet."

Red Satan's hand flew up in the hair, "Are we allowed to pick our partner, Professor?"

"No, Miss Evans, but you will be allowed to choose your one topic," Professor Spineless replied, giving her a queasy smile. Huh, turns out I'm not the only one who Red Satan makes sick. "Now when I call your partner's name I want you to sit next to them and spend the rest of the class period planning your project. Miss Evans with Mr. Gudgeon, Mr. Potter with Miss Flint, Mr. Black with Miss Clark –"

After I heard her call me and my partner's names I didn't bother listening anymore. I tried to look completely neutral about the announcement but inside I was smirking.

"Clark," Black gruffly greeted me as he begrudgingly took a seat next to me.

Well maybe this was going to take more work than I'd originally expected. "Could you simmer down the enthusiasm just a bit, Black? I know I'm an amazing partner and all but I don't think it's normal to be this excited about a class project."

This caused him to have to fight back a smile, "I'll try to contain myself."

Alright, well I almost got a smile so that was progress. "Appreciated. Now I know you're upset that you aren't partnered with your gay lover but we're going to make this work."

"JAMES IS NOT MY GAY LOVER!"

The entire classroom turned to look at us, causing me to practically convulse with laughter. Black turned slightly pink in color before turning to look at me with a slightly murderous look. "I was referring to Gudgeon but congratulations to you and Potter. Sure, you changing teams will probably cause your fan club to commit suicide but your happiness is all that matters," I told him, nearly tearing up from laughter.

He scowled at me, "Are you always this impossible?"

Alright, as much as making jokes on his behalf was entertaining it really wasn't helping me complete my objective. "Okay fine, I'm sorry. What do you want to do the report on?"

"Well – I had an idea but I'm not sure you'll like it," he replied unsurely.

Since when was he not confident to the border of being arrogant? "Just tell me. I promise I won't judge you too harshly."

"Well, I've always been interested in motorbikes…"

"Brilliant, let's do it."

"Really?" he questioned in surprise. "I didn't think you'd go for it."

"Well I am so let's do it," I nodded.

He grinned and I knew I'd passed the first test. After all if I was going to seduce him then he was going to have to at least tolerate me. "Alright so where do we get started then?" he inquired.

"We should probably do some research, I guess." The idea of doing research made my skin crawl. "They might have books on motorbikes in the library."

He looked like he had just tasted something foul, "The library?"

"I know, not my favorite place in the world either but it's probably the only place to find information. We could get the books, check them out and go someplace less dusty and stuffy to work," I suggested.

"Sounds good," he nodded.

"Or of course we could threaten the professor's life if she didn't give us an O," I added as a second thought.

"Eh, I don't think going to Azkaban is worth it. At least the library doesn't have Dementors."

"Yeah, well the librarian's a soul-sucker in her own right so I don't think in that aspect it's much better," I pointed out with a snort.

"I know, right? Second year I accidently got jam on one of her History of Magic books and I really thought she was going to try to bite my head off."

I nodded as solemnly as I could, "She does have rather sharp teeth, doesn't she?"

He rolled his eyes at me, "Don't be an arse. I was twelve, what do you expect?"

I held my hands up in surrender, "I'm not judging. I mean, isn't your mate Pettigrew still deathly afraid of McGonagall?"

"Well yes but that's McGonagall," he pointed out. "She terrifies everyone."

"Aw, are you afraid of Big Bad Minnie?" I teased.

"I didn't mean me. She just terrifies the skittish," he explained. "I mean, she has a reputation for making First Years cry."

"Everything makes First Years cry," I pointed out.

"I don't think Sprout does," he countered.

"She's a Hufflepuff. It takes a spine to make people cry and Hufflepuffs don't have any," I retorted.

"Do I sense some harsh feelings towards Hufflepuffs?" he questioned almost patronizingly.

I scowled at him, "Why wouldn't I? Supposedly they're picked for their loyalty but pretty much anybody can get in. It's the bloody catch-all House. Besides, they're a bunch of pansies. Name one of them who have a backbone."

"Erm… Well… I… The Qudditch Captain doesn't seem too bad," he grasped for straws.

I rolled my eyes, "Yeah right. Do you remember the last Gryffindor-Hufflepuff match? He nearly passed out when Potter grabbed his hand too hard when they shook hands before the game."

He opened his mouth to argue before nodding, "Fair enough."

I was about to retort about how the world must have been ending for him to finally admit he was wrong but that was when I noticed that a certain Ginger Hell-Spawn was glaring holes into me. I grinned at her in return. Well that was one fun bonus I hadn't expected from this. Now it was official, this was going to be even more bloody entertaining.

A/N: Sorry about the short length, guys, but I have a Human Resource Management midterm calling my name rather loudly. I'll make it up to you later I promise.

Evan