A/N: Firstly, I'm typing this up on New Year's Eve at 5:30 my time, so by the time Evan gets it up, it may already be the New Year… so Happy New Year all! I hope you guys all loved the last chapter as much as I did. I've read it eight times already. :D Isn't Evan fabulous? OFFICIAL ANNOUNCEMENT: Evan and I have started a tumblr blog related to this story! Isn't that great? It's at maybeiknowfanfic dot tumblr dot com. We'll be posting story-related content like photosets, the musical inspirations for my chapters, and whatnot. We have an ask box where you can direct questions to Cherry and/or Ali, and we are accepting submissions, so if you're interested, you can make fan art, fan vids, whatever! We'd love to see your interpretations of the characters and the story! Join in on the fun! Again, maybeiknowfanfic dot tumblr dot com! Please review this chapter. I used half a pen working on it.

-J

"He and I had something beautiful, but so dysfunctional it couldn't last. I loved him so but I let him go 'cause I knew he'd never love me back. Such pain as this shouldn't have to be experienced. I'm still reeling from the loss, still a little bit delirious. Near to you, I am healing…. I only know that I am better where you are." – A Fine Frenzy, Near to You

"Thank you," I said to the newly dressed Cherry.

"Anytime Marren," she muttered forcibly, quickly leaving the room.

I was alone. Alone, dealing with Sirius and the mess he made, the way he absolutely played me.

"What the hell just happened?" he asked incredulously.

I sighed.

"You're not stupid, Sirius. Use your head. I was sick of waiting around, listening to the nasty rumors, wondering if they were true, so I asked Cherry to test your fidelity." I fought the tears welling up in my eyes, but it was a lot of pain and excitement for one night. "You failed."

His jaw was hanging dumbly. The worst part was, he looked adorable like that, but I needed to think about how ugly he had treated me.

"She… she lied to me?" he finally whispered. "She just… she just toyed with me?"

I wanted to rip out his throat. I wanted to hex him into a thousand pieces. I settled for making him feel as lowly as humanly possible.

"How does it feel, Sirius?" I hissed. "You played me for such a fool. Did you and your Marauders just sit around laughing about my naivety in your dorm every night? I mean, when you weren't out fucking other girls, that is!"

He winced when I swore. The powerful anger running through my veins in that moment relished the pained and pathetic expression he was wearing. I wanted him to hurt just as badly as I did.

"Of course not," he sighed. "And it wasn't all a lie, Ali. I just… by the time I realized it wasn't going to work I had realized how attached you were and I didn't want to hurt you. I just thought – Merlin, I'm so stupid."

"Yeah," I snapped. "Glad that finally sunk in." I shifted uncomfortably. What was I supposed to do next? He hurt me, I shamed and berated him. Was there something that was supposed to go between that and my crying my eyes out to Marlene and Lily? "So, we're done. Just in case you didn't get that part."

Were those… tears? Was Sirius Black… crying? Of all the things…

"I'm sorry, love," he sighed. "I never meant any of this. I do care about you, just not in the way you wanted me to. I…"

A tear rolled down his cheek. Suddenly, I put it all together.

Sirius was in love with Cherry.

But Cherry had lied to him and slept with him to prove he wafs cheating on me.

I had known the plan would be dangerous and messy, but this had absolutely blown up in all of our faces. I was hurt, he was hurt, and now all his friends would be mad and Cherry and me, and my friends would be mad at him and Cherry.

We had inadvertently started a war in the middle of N.E.W.T. year. As if the one outside the castle walls wasn't enough…

"Are… are you going to be okay?" I asked, not certain that was a typically acceptable thing to ask the guy who just cheated on you, but it felt important to say, somehow.

He nodded, but another tear rolled down his cheek and I knew it was a lie. Stupid boys, always thinking they had to be strong. I sighed and reached out for him, pulling him into a tight but friendly hug. He held onto me more tightly than ever, and his tears flowed freely onto my shoulder.

Somehow, this wasn't how I had pictured the whole event going down, but it felt right. Besides, it would be hard for us to do this in the morning for quite a while, at least until things cooled down a bit.

Back in my common room, the weight of my pain hit me and I curled up on the sofa and cried myself to sleep. By breakfast, I realized, the whole school would know. This was just how these things worked at Hogwarts.

The worst part, I found, was not the tears or the whispers or the dull pain in the back of it all, throbbing consistently. I had prepared myself for those. It was the blow to my sense of trust and sense of self. If he had been cheating, how many of the other rumors were true? Did I even want to know?

What's more, once word got out that he really had cheated every boy in Hogwarts would know that I could be played like a piano. There was no trusting anyone. Thank Merlin it was a Sunday.

As soon as I finished breakfast, at which neither Sirius nor Cherry was present, I made my way to the library. I tried to lose myself in my homework and N.E.W.T. practice exams, but I was less than successful.

The thought that Sirius was in love with Cherry swam back to the surface of my thoughts. What should I do about that tibit of knowledge? I felt I ought to tell her. After all, she had done a lot for me. It made some logical sense.

But she wouldn't want to talk to me. The deal was completed. She probably never wanted to speak to me again. After all, it was no secret what she thought of Hufflepuffs. But my inner debate was cut short when someone sat down across from me.

Remus was smiling down at me sadly.

"I thought you might be here," he sighed. "I suppose I don't have to ask how you're feeling."

"Why didn't you tell me?" I whispered. "Why didn't you warn me? I never should have found out like that. It never should have gotten to this point."

He frowned and said, "I couldn't, Ali. I wanted to, but the Marauders took oaths years ago to keep each other's secrets. Sirius has kept even the worst of mine. I couldn't do it. I tried to hint. I wrote anonymous notes to Lily and Marlene. I even set him up with one of your dormmates hoping you'd believe her when she and Emily Johnson talked about it. But you just didn't want to see it, I guess."

He was right. What right did I have, feeling sorry for myself when I so willingly buried my head in the sand for so long?

"Why did you use Cherry?" he asked quietly.

"Marlene gave me the idea," I admitted, "though I doubt she'd remember. And Cherry seemed enough his type to pull it off."

Remus snorted.

"Well, you sure got that right. I've never seen him look at someone like that before."

I bit my lip for a moment before I said, "Remus, I think he might be in love with her."

I braced myself for the worst of it. He would call me crazy, delusional, think it was my way of making myself feel better over what happened. There was no way such an outlandish statement would go without being laughed at, even by Remus.

But he simply nodded and said, "You know, anyone else and I'd say you were way off, but I think you could be right about this one. It's a bit out of nowhere, but he's completely different with her than he's ever been with a girl."

"He was really hurt," I admitted, "when he realized what we'd done. It was like he was the one feeling all the pain I was supposed to feel. He… Don't tell him I told you this, but he actually cried."

His eyebrows shot upward and he asked, "Did you?"

"Not at the time," I mused. "I was really angry. But I definitely cried when I was alone. I… erm… I cried myself to sleep last night."

"Oh, Ali," he sighed.

"I'm not as hurt as I thought I would be," I said with a shrug. "I'm humiliated and confused, but it has less to do with Sirius and more to do with me. I mean, what kind of girl lets herself get cheated on? What kind of girl…?"

I hadn't even realized I was crying until Remus gently shushed me and wiped away the little teardrop on my cheek. The sensation made my skin tingle. As he traced the tracks of my tears, gathering each drop of moisture with his fingertips, he grazed my lips and I found myself wishing he were closer, wanting to take comfort in his presence.

"Don't let Sirius's stupidity make you doubt yourself, Ali," he breathed. "You are perfect. Do you understand me? You are absolutely perfect. You deserve someone spending every spare second telling you how perfect and beautiful you are."

I could feel crimson creeping into my cheeks and I shook my head a little as though brushing away his praise with the motion.

"Do you do that with Grace?" I teased, but he tensed at my question and pulled his hand away quickly from my skin as though I'd burned him with my blush.

"We, erm, broke up," he muttered. "She said I wasn't spending enough time with her. She wanted me to give my shifts with you to someone else, but you need… you needed me. I couldn't just… Anyway, it doesn't matter. It's done now."

I blinked. Remus had taken twice as many shifts as anyone but Sirius. Lily and Marlene would have been more than happy to take a few, but he'd never asked. As a result, my lack of ability to care for myself caused their breakup. I felt a bit guilty, but was it normal for a part of me to feel so… elated?

No, there was no point in denying it at this point. I was falling for Remus Lupin. The situation smacked me in the face. Sirius was in love with Cherry. I was falling for Remus. Of course we hadn't been able to love each other. The whole thing seemed so obvious in that moment of realization that I was at a loss as to why I hadn't seen it before.

But what did Remus think of me? I had no idea, and suddenly my heart was pounding fearfully. What if he left? I had only just discovered I loved him, he couldn't leave! But I wasn't Cherry Clark. I had no idea what to do to let a guy know I was interested in him.

So I did the only thing I could think of.

I leaned over the table and kissed him.

Best decision ever.

At first, he was as surprised as I was, but after a moment he relaxed against my lips and began kissing me back. It was then that I realized the absolutely breathtaking quality of his kiss, something even Sirius didn't accomplish. I mean, to be fair, Sirius was an incredible kisser, but this… this was beyond incredible. It was probably illegal, it felt so good.

When I remembered I needed to breathe, I pulled away, breaking the kiss and looking up into his shocked amber eyes.

"What was that for?" he gasped.

Here we go… words. I was not looking forward to making a fool out of myself.

"I… erm… I'm kind of in the process of… of, erm… falling and… I dunno, it just felt right."

He blinked. Then he got to his feet and my heart sank. He was leaving.

To my surprise, however, he walked around the table and right up next to me, sat beside me, and kissed me even more spectacularly than the first time.

I can't honestly say how long we were there, snogging in the library, but someone in the next aisle over dropped a book loudly, eventually, and we finally parted looking disheveled and flushed, but I for one felt fantastic. I was also grinning like an idiot.

"So," he whispered in my ear, his arms wrapped loosely around me, "what now?"

A very good question. What now, indeed?

I had, after all, just ended a long-term and high profile relationship. I was supposed to be drowning my pain in tears, ice cream, and chocolate, not snogging one of my ex-boyfriend's best friends. I ought to be doing homework at the very least.

What's more, Remus had just been in a break-up of a much less messy and public nature, and judging by our previous conversations on the topic, he hadn't been nearly as attached to Grace as I had been to Sirius. Still, it was probably not the best of ideas for him to be snogging his ex-girlfriend's roommate in dusty corners of the library so soon.

And yet, all I wanted was to lean forward, wrap my arms around his neck, and snog him until the world ended.

But it was N.E.W.T. year. There was an actual war going on out there and we were nearly qualified. It was about time I started making adult decisions, doing what I ought to do, no matter how much I wanted to do the opposite.

"I can't date you," I sighed. "Not right now. My life's been unstable enough as it is, and it's bound to get quite a bit worse before it gets better."

"Right," he muttered, his face falling a little. "Right."

"But I want to," I insisted hastily. "I want you. It just isn't very good timing…"

"No, I understand," he sighed.

"We can revisit this conversation, though," I said with a smile. "I want to revisit this. But that doesn't mean I want you to give me space. I feel better with you. I feel better about myself and this whole mess, and I'm less angry about everything."

Remus smiled, pulling me into a hug very different from the one shared with Sirius in the abandoned classroom. With Sirius, I was comforting him. With Remus, I was being comforted, protected, cared for.

"Don't worry," he whispered. "I'm not going anywhere. There's nothing you could do to make me leave you alone again."

I sighed, resting my head against his chest and reveling in the sound and feel of his heartbeat. His warm, parchment-like scent washed over me.

"To be honest," he murmured, running his fingers gently through my hair, "I've wanted you for a very long time. I'd wanted you before Sirius asked you out."

I frowned.

"Why did you date Grace?"

"You told me to leave you alone," he explained with a shrug. "I thought I didn't have a shot and I ought to try and get over you, go for someone else. But it didn't work. I spent all my time with her thinking about you, comparing her to you… And that was completely unfair to her, I know. She could never compete with how I adore you, but I couldn't help myself."

He said he adored me. I instantly had giddy excitement fluttering around my stomach and a ridiculous grin plastered on my face. I managed to make it look a bit less silly by the time he pulled away from our marathon hug, kissed me on the forehead, and said, "It's about time for lunch, love. I think you need a study break."

I giggled.

"Remus, I haven't even thought about my books in…" – I checked my watch – "… an hour or so."

"All the same, darling," he insisted with a smile, "you need to eat. Come on, I think they've got ham today."

Ham sandwiches. He knew my favorite sandwich. It was obviously love.

Or maybe it was the fact that we'd had lunch together almost every day for two whole terms. Either way, I was thrilled.

I couldn't help but walk closer than normal to Remus as we made our way down to the Great Hall, although we weren't holding hands. We weren't, technically, together, after all. Still, some indescribably force was pulling me ever closer to Remus.

Any hopes I'd had for a peaceful lunch with Remus were dashed when James Potter sat down with us.

"Marren, you need to fix this," he said manically.

I blinked. Fix what? The only thing nearby that needed fixing was his hair, and we all knew that was a lost cause.

"Fix… I'm sorry, fix what, exactly?"

He groaned and grabbed a sandwich.

"You need to get back with Sirius."

I blinked. Then I burst with hysterical laughter. The worst part was I knew he meant it. The question was, why?

"He didn't mean it," James whined. "That she-devil Clark tricked him, Marren. He's miserable without you."

It became clear that I was actually going to have to deal with James, because Remus looked about ready to skin the bespectacled boy alive.

"James," I sighed, "have you even talked to Sirius about this?"

"I don't have to," James hissed. "He's my best mate and I know what's best for him, damn it!"

"Really?" I snorted. "Because last night he told me he didn't want me but didn't break up with me to spare my feelings. And he admitted there's been more than Cherry. Besides," I said, swallowing a bite of ham sandwich, "Cherry was just doing what I asked her to do. None of this is her fault."

"All of this is her fault!" James cried. I winced. We were starting to attract attention, which was the last thing I wanted right then. James seemed bent on making an outright scene of things. "And now Lily won't speak to me because I didn't tell her… You have to fix this, Marren, because Sirius is such a mess that he refuses to listen to me. Honestly, the most important thing I've ever asked him to do and he buggers it up royally."

I blinked.

"What did you just say?"

He frowned a little, thinking over his words. Then, his eyes grew wide with fear and I knew he meant what I thought he'd meant.

"You made Sirius ask me out!" I shrieked. "This was all about you wanting Lily! Well, you can forget every good word I ever put in for you, Potter!"

Not caring about the scene we were making anymore, I stood up, picked up the nearest pitcher of ice cold pumpkin juice, and emptied it over his head, which caused quite a stir in the Hall.

"Damn it, Clark!" James spluttered at no one in particular. "She's poisoned Marren! What the fuck did she do to the old Marren? Remus, do something! Exorcize her!"

Remus shrugged.

"You had it coming, mate," Remus said, calmly munching his sandwich.

"Stay away from me, Potter," I hissed, doing my best to keep from screaming. I was already shaking with anger. "Sirius can tell you, crossing me is a very bad idea."

With that, I stormed out of the Hall, wandering the corridors until I'd calmed down enough to study again.

It was N.E.W.T. year, after all.