I barely made it to the closest lavatory before I was sick to my stomach. I'd never vomited before from emotional stress but this was going to be a memorable first. I felt nauseous even afterwards and there was this strong pain in my chest, like a dragon was standing on top of me with all of his weight. I'd never felt something like this before, it was like my entire ribcage was being snapped in two under the weight.

I didn't know what I was feeling or what was even causing it. Guilt? Hurt? Anxiety? Probably but there was another element that I didn't quite recognize. It felt something like the pain I felt when I was casted out of my home during my First Year. Was it the feeling of being heartbroken? Maybe. But why should I be heartbroken? Why should I feel such strong emotions about this of all things? I had no reason to feel brokenhearted. I wasn't the one who'd been cheated on. It would make sense for Marren to feel this way, not me. I had no right to feel like this.

What could have possibly brought this on? Maybe my attachment to Marren was beginning to make me feel empathy? No, not even that would be this strong and I wasn't that attached to her. This was a more self-absorbed feeling. This was my own pain. Had I – Had I hurt myself more than I thought by going on with this? Impossible. I couldn't have possibly… Oh Merlin, unless… Unless I made a very stupid mistake and got too attached to Sirius… That would have been a very, very stupid mistake indeed. I had no business going about and getting attached to him. He wasn't good for me and I definitely wasn't good for him. What a stupid thing to do.

It would explain it though. It would explain the horrible pain in my chest. I had ruined it. Anything Sirius and I had or could have had was gone the moment I told Marren I would go along with her plan. Any future he and I had just went out the window.

The thought of it made me nearly vomit a second time. It was like I sadly felt like life was bleaker than it had been only minutes before. It was ridiculous. No person should have had the right to make me feel so miserable and yet I still felt like part of me was dying. The weight was unbearable. I'd never felt something so raw and painful before. Generally I just brushed things off, rolled a joint and went on my merry, oblivious way but I knew that this wasn't the case. Something that caused this intense of feelings wasn't going to be able to be smoked away. Well that didn't mean I couldn't try.

I picked myself off the cold lavatory floor, stumbling out of the loo and down the corridor. I couldn't go back to Gryffindor Tower. The Ginger Nazi would kill me in my sleep after she found out what happened with me and Sirius. I wouldn't be safe there but Morgan would be in Ravenclaw Tower, even though she swore to be a Gryffindor through and through she was still a Clawie by Sorting Hat's judgment at least and her dormitory would be safer.

Every step towards Ravenclaw Tower felt like I was being hit by the Knight Bus. With each one I felt more nauseous and exhausted. By the time I reached the door with the eagle knocker I was nearly falling over with exhaustion. "I hold golden treasure yet I have no keyhole or door. What am I?" the eagle questioned.

"An egg," I replied.

The door swung open, allowing me entrance to the gold and blue Common Room, complete with a marble statue of Rowena Ravenclaw, one of the Founders of Hogwarts. I practically crawled up the stairs, draining what little energy I had left. I barely managed to pull myself across the dormitory floor, using my forearms to drag me along the wooden floor. I felt so ashamed having to crawl on the floor like an animal but somehow it felt fitting. I never should have agreed to help Marren, I never should have meddled where I didn't belong. Her failing relationship with him wasn't my problem. I was only asking for trouble when I stuck my nose where it didn't belong and now I'd done so much more damage than good.

As I managed to roll into bed with the passed out Robin I couldn't help but wonder how Marren was reacting, whether she was alright or not. She had always been such a fragile thing and learning that her boyfriend was a cheater couldn't have been something she'd get over overnight. I also couldn't help but wonder how her mates would react. Would they track me down and try to take their revenge? Why was it that when a girl's boyfriends cheats on her instead of going after said boyfriend she goes after the other woman? Alright, well in this case Marren literally asked for it but still. Her friends would be less likely to understand. I'd be Head Bitch prey but the next day.

"Cher? Is that you? What happened?" Robin managed to groggily questioned, reeking of Firewhiskey.

"Let's talk about it in the morning," I replied quickly, wanting to at least lick my wounds a bit more before I had to reopen them and talk about it.

She yawned, "Okay. Night, pet."

"Night," I replied, knowing full well that there wasn't going to be any sleep for me to be had. My brain was too full to let me sleep. How did this happen? How did that cheating git get himself so far under my skin? Why did Marren have to choose me of all people? Why couldn't she have picked anyone else to carry this burden? And why did the burden never end? Hadn't I fulfilled my end of the bargain? I did what she asked so why was I even more wounded than before?

I hated her for doing this to me and I hated him for making there be a need for this to have happened. It was all their fault. I was blissfully ignorant before they sucked me into their little vortex of drama. I was happy before Marren came into my life and now… Now it seemed like I'd never be happy again.

I spent the rest of my night cursing Marren's name and generally feeling sorry for myself. I couldn't sleep and I couldn't think about anything else except for how stupid I was for getting involved with him in the first place. Him… I couldn't even think his name let alone feel comfortable enough to say it out loud. It was like my brain just wouldn't let me say it.

Anyways morning came before I knew it, the sun hitting me mercilessly in the face. I was thankful that it was a Sunday so I didn't need to venture out of the dormitory. Or at least I didn't plan on leaving Robin's dormitory but like always she didn't see the need to make it easy on me. "I'm hungry," she complained as soon as she opened her eyes. "Let's go get lunch."

I looked up at in disbelief, "No."

"No? But you love food," she pointed out. "If we wait too long then all the good stuff will be gone!"

I rolled my eyes, "It's half noon on Sunday, pet, I don't think people will be racing down to lunch just yet."

"But I'm hungry!" she whined.

"Then go get lunch," I told her gruffly. "I'm not leaving this Tower until I die."

"Cher, I'm sure it wasn't that bad," she told me half-heartedly. She was never good for any sort of sympathy before lunch.

I looked at her in disbelief, "No that bad? Not that bad? You're an idiot."

"And you're an overdramatic whore," she retorted lazily, stretching out. "Now let's go get some lunch."

Robin was generally bossy in her own way but she was always worse when she hadn't eaten yet. She nearly dragged me by the ear down to the Great Hall despite my many protests. She was a woman on a mission and that meant she was getting my arse down to lunch no matter how much I wished she'd leave me in peace.

When we got to the Great Hall I froze completely, eyeing it with dread. I didn't know what was inside. I knew that it would come with pain in one sense or another but I didn't know how much or what kind. What if he was there? What if he confronted me? The thought of it literally made me want to crawl into a hole and die. I couldn't survive that. I couldn't see him. It'd be much too painful.

Robin didn't seem to notice how much I was dreading it and she pulled me into the Hall without my will as I thrashed against her, trying hysterically to get out of her hold. That's when I saw it. Marren and Lupin looking at each other with little lovey dovey eyes. WERE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? Here I was worrying about how badly she was hurt and SHE HAD MOVED ON ALREADY? Why was it that I did this damn favor for her and I got shafted in the end? Well fuck her, fuck him and fuck everybody.

Something snapped inside of me in the worst way. All of a sudden it was like I was seeing red and I didn't give a shit about anyone or anything anymore. This couldn't be good…

A/N: I know that this chapter is a bit short but I figured with Cherry exhausted as she is really wouldn't do a long chapter, besides I don't have much more that would fit in this chapter so I'm sending it back to Javalon14 to try to make sense of it all. Good luck to her and happy readings to the rest of you!

Evan