A/N: Sorry about the delay on this… I've been VERY busy with classes, but it's finals week, so next week we should be able to get on a more regular schedule about things. We're nearing the end of the story! I hope you've all really enjoyed it and that you'll enjoy this chapter! Your reviews are so wonderful, so keep them coming!

-J

"I don't desire a complicated past. I want a love that will last. Say that you love me. Say I'm the one…. I don't want just a memory. Give me forever. Don't even think about saying goodbye 'cause I just want one love to be enough and remain in my heart 'til I die…. I'll never leave you so don't even ask…. So there's just a little more that I need. I wanna share all the air that you breathe." – Renee Olstead, A Love That Will Last

I'm sure Cherry had other things she would rather be doing in that moment. For one, Sirius was virtually drooling on the library table we were sitting at. In fact, we were in the library, which was not only one of her least favorite places, but we were discussing what couldn't be one of her favorite topics: my sex life, or rather, what was hopefully going to become my sex life.

Remus was recovering from the full moon and I wanted to be ready when he was out of the hospital wing. Cherry wasn't particularly comfortable with the topic, but she was helping me anyway, which I thought was rather big of her.

"So what's holding it all back?" Cherry said, her eyes shifting to give Sirius an annoyed look out of the corner of her eye.

"Timing for one," I said slowly, deliberating how to explain without sharing Remus's biggest secret.

"Time of the month?" she prodded with a smirk.

"Yeah," I said slowly. "He also is really concerned with hurting me."

"Well, I'm not going to sugarcoat it, Puff," she snorted. "It's going to hurt. Lupin's obviously concerned with your comfort, though, so he'll make sure it's as minimal as possible."

She sighed, flicking a bit of balled up parchment at Sirius's nose. His nose twitched a bit, but he otherwise did not stir. I wondered how much it would hurt, but I reasoned that if Cherry was still interested in sex it must not hurt after a while.

"Use protection," she continued, still flicking parchment at Sirius. "You don't want a bunch of little Lupins running around. You're barely of age. There's a contraceptive charm. Do you…?"

I nodded. I'd looked it up as soon as I decided I was ready for the next step.

"Don't rush things," she continued. "Don't do this because he wants it or because you feel like you ought to. Really want to do it."

"Right," I said. "I do."

"Well, then," she said with an almost friendly smile, "relax, Puff. Let it happen. He knows what you want, and he's male so he wants it too. He's probably just as nervous as you are, so let it happen. Do what feels right. Don't worry about being a great seductress. He's expecting you. He wants you. I think you can manage that."

I laughed. She was right, I could manage, by and large, to be myself, although I would have liked for 'myself' to be a bit more confident, to be sure he would like me as me, but Cherry had assured me he would, and when had she ever been wrong? About my love life, that is.

"So," I said casually, "how's life with Sirius?"

Cherry snorted and my eyebrows rose instinctively.

"Let's just say that this conversation is the current pinnacle of my sex life in the recent past…"

Really? This news surprised me more than a little. I would have thought the pair of them would be taking every opportunity to shag like bunnies. Apparently they had not. I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't heard the bitterness in Cherry's voice.

But we didn't have a lot of time to discuss Cherry and Sirius – as if I would have been brave enough to bring up such things when Cherry was already so testy – because Lily rounded the corner and glared at us.

"Clark, what did I–?"

"Sirius is right here," Cherry said quickly, kicking Sirius awake. "We're not alone!"

Alone? Was Lily trying to keep her from being alone with Sirius? Was that why they weren't shagging?

No, that couldn't be right because Sirius was what kept 'alone' from occurring. So that meant Lily didn't want Cherry to be alone with… me?

"The unconscious don't count," Lily snapped.

"He was sleeping, not unconscious, if you're going to be that nitpicky," Cherry grumbled. But Lily just narrowed her eyes and Cherry sighed. "Right. If you need to continue this conversation later, Puff, we'll have to acquire a suitable chaperone for Evans's demands. Right now Sirius and I have to actually work on Muggle Studies. I'll see you around."

I said my goodbyes to Cherry and Sirius, walking out of the library with an agitated Lily Evans.

"Why can't you just leave her be?" I sighed. "She's had a rough year."

"No rougher than yours," Lily sniffed, nose in the air.

I clenched my fists with frustration, but there was no point trying to argue the truth that Cherry's year was a million times worse than mine. Lily and I had gone round and round about it for quite some time and had gotten nowhere. It wasn't worth my energy. Everyone knew Lily Evans was the most stubborn being on the planet.

Ashley, on the other hand, seemed to be handling the whole situation rather nicely. In fact, she had even begun defending Cherry as she had done me against the malicious fan club. I think once she realized how much Cherry had done for me, she knew she couldn't do anything but help me support Cherry. And if Ashley didn't quite like her yet, well, she respected her at the least, and that was really the main thing, after all. Liking could only come with time.

Thoughts of changes in Cherry's social life were pushed from my mind as Remus disappeared from school due to his 'furry little problem'. I had nightmares while he was gone, and even contemplated going to Madam Pomfrey to get something for my growing anxiety, but Sirius stopped me.

"He'll be fine, Ali," he assured me. "He's done this hundreds of times."

I knew that was meant to be reassuring, but it only served to increase my anxiety, to the point that I actually burst into tears with no provocation at all in the middle of Charms. Professor Flitwick excused Ashley and me, concerned that the stress of N.E.W.T.s was getting to me.

"What's wrong?" she demanded when we reached the corridor.

I gave her the same excuse Cherry attributed all my abnormal behavior to:

"Time of the month."

Ashley frowned.

"Really?" she said incredulously. "That's odd. Ours usually go together."

"Mine's changed," I lied. "I think it's all the stress I've been under."

She pursed her lips.

"Remus is sick again, isn't he?" she said with a sigh.

I nodded and burst into tears again.

"Oh, Ali, I'm sorry," Ashley said softly. "I didn't mean to upset you. Is it serious?"

"Not necessarily," I said, "if they keep it contained. But it's aggressive."

Ashley, while usually one to want the whole story, knew better than to harass answers out of me while I was so upset, so I just kept crying.

Those few days were so incredibly painful and stressful that I was sure that I wasn't going to make it, but as soon as Remus was back in classes I nearly tackled him on the way to Potions, making him blush rather furiously as I pressed my lips vigorously to his. We had never kissed so publically before, but his hesitation and embarrassment melted away soon enough and it took Lily clearing her throat to bring us back to the reality that we were snogging each other's brains out in the middle of the corridor, and a couple of first year girls were giggling at us.

I could hardly force myself to care, despite Remus's adorable blush.

A soon as we were alone that night I let him lead me to the fourth floor where there was a secret passageway behind the giant mirror.

"Where does it lead?" I asked breathlessly.

"There's a little cavern under the lake," Remus said dismissively. "This will do."

He reached into his book bag and pulled out a couple of fluffy blankets and several candles, which he lit with his wand before spreading out the blankets a little ways from them. He took my hand and led me over to the blankets where we sat together in the candlelight, me curled onto his lap, my head resting on his shoulder as he ran his fingers through my hair with a shaky hand.

"I missed you," he whispered in my ear. "The whole time I was awake in my proper, human mind, I was thinking about you. Your sweet hair," he muttered, burying his face in my hair. "Your soft skin," he murmured, his lips grazing my neck, making me shiver. "Your sweet lips," he breathed, pressing his lips to mine.

The gentle quality of the kiss dissipated rapidly, Remus laced his fingers through my hair, grasping it and pushing our faces even closer together. His tongue demanded entrance to my mouth and was greeted with a sigh upon entry.

When we finally parted from the kiss I breathlessly sighed, "Remus, please. Please."

"Are you sure?" he whispered, although from the way his fingers were caressing my back through my shirt I was fairly certain that the question was more for his sake than for mine.

"Please," I moaned, watching his face flush as I pulled away, slowly stripping off my shirt.

As though something in him completely snapped, he pushed me back onto the blankets, leaning over my torso, trailing kisses across my bare skin. I shivered, but not because I was cold.

He kissed his way back up to my neck and whispered, "Ali, I've… I've never done this before."

I couldn't say why, but I felt a rush of relief at this confession.

"Me either," I whispered. "I'm not doing it lightly, either."

"Nor me," he muttered, pressing his lips to my neck once more. "I love you, Ali, and while I can't offer you half of what you deserve, I'll offer you everything I have, anything I can give you, although it's not much."

It was so very hard to think while his fingertips were teasing my skin, but I managed to exhale the worlds, "What do you mean?"

"I love you," he said softly, "and while I can't ask you to marry me here and now, I'm with you for as long as you can stand to be with me." He kissed my collarbone and said, "Wolves mate for life. It's one of the things I actually admire about them."

Before he could do something stupid like ask how I felt about that, I kissed him, working to eagerly strip off the rest of our clothes. As far as I was concerned, no further answer was necessary. Remus seemed to agree by the intensity with which he returned my kiss and the way he eagerly assisted the removal of clothing.

As soon as the stripping of clothing was achieved, he turned us, laying me back on the blankets and worshipping my skin with loving kisses.

I couldn't say how long we stayed there, exploring each other and pleasing each other until we were completely spent, but then we curled up together on the blankets, skin on skin, Remus still placing gentle kisses on my neck.

Although I got the sense that Remus had talked with Sirius in much the same way I had talked with Cherry, we still learned from each other as we went, discovering each other. It was nice, meaningful, and I found that Cherry was right. If it had happened any other way, it wouldn't have been honest.

"Well," he finally whispered, "do you regret it?"

"Of course not!" I cried, looking up at him fiercely. "Do you?"

"Never," he assured me, kissing my hand sweetly. After a short pause he said, "Will you regret it tomorrow?"

With an aggravated sigh I swatted him playfully, laying back on the blankets, dismissing the ridiculous question, but Remus rolled onto his side to look down at me urgently.

"I need to know," he said firmly. "You have to realize, Ali, the implications of what I am and what we've just done."

"What do you mean?" I asked, dreading the answer.

"No one can know," he whispered. "You would be socially ruined to marry anyone else should you ever desire to." I made an impatient noise, but he placed a finger over my lips to silence me before continuing. "Suppose I die in the war, or something similar. I would like to think you wouldn't keep yourself from ever moving on. And should… should our union now or… or in the future ever… ever produce…. If you…. If you were ever to…." He sighed. "If a child ever came of this, you would need to abort it, as soon as possible."

"What?" I cried, sitting up so that our faces were level. "Remus, that's illegal!"

"No," he said slowly, deliberately. "Not if the father is a werewolf. You'd be surprised what's legal in those circumstances."

I could feel anger building like my tears forming in the corner of my eyes. How could the law, on top of everything else, be so cruel to him? I was disgusted.

"Don't you see?" he whispered hoarsely. "No child of a werewolf has been carried to term, and for good reason. The chance is so very real that the child would have the same condition, and that's unsafe for society and unfair to the child. It's been presumed dangerous for the mother, as well and…" His fingers ran through my hair lovingly, eyes swimming with tears. "I could never forgive myself if I somehow hurt you."

As horrified and disgusted with the whole thought as I was, I had to recognize his very good points. I couldn't, in good conscience, subject a child to lycanthropy, either. But could I kill an unborn child, even if the law encouraged it, even knowing what it could become and what could happen to me?

"Well," I said finally, "I guess that's pretty good motivation to not have any accidents."

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I shouldn't have ruined a beautiful night with such terrible realities, but I couldn't risk not telling you now and then allowing it to slip by unsaid as I waited for the right moment. I don't want to lose you, Ali. I… I…"

"The night's not ruined," I insisted. I kissed his lips and said, "I love you, and I love every part of you, and this is just another part of being with you. The good and the harder to stomach, but it's all you, just as I'm sure it's not always easy…"

I tapered off, unsure if I wanted to say what I was thinking.

"What's not always easy?" he whispered, his lips hovering so close to mine that I could feel the air vibrating between our mouths.

"Being in love with me," I replied, leaning just a little closer, my lips against his.

"There's nothing easier," he sighed, claiming my lips in another of the countless sweet kisses we shared that night.

This was what it meant, I realized, to be in love. Sometimes it was beautiful and breathtaking and sometimes it was hard to bear, and sometimes it was both all at once, but no matter how much good came with the bad, it was never logical, never worth it to walk away, because those bad things were so small in light of the good.

And once I realized that, it seemed as though I'd known it all my life and I couldn't imagine ever being without Remus.