Well, you all have returned. If you have been following this (CB: wretched, horrible, disgusting, tea-break stealing, slave-driver sending) guide, your (ideal) character will now be so (disgustingly, Mary-Sue-ishly) graceful that she surpasses even the elves.

We will now move on to speech. Modest words, sweet, kind statements and the occasional insult or two are typical for your (ideal) character. Raven will demonstrate this in a situation in which she is dealing with a crowd of admirers praising her for saving Murtagh.

Raven blushed, a faint pink lighting her cheeks. She looked away in humility.
"It was nothing," she murmured modestly and clearlyJAm: well, in that case we can leave and get on with our lives! CouldBe: stop interrupting! JAm: WHY? Do you LIKE it? CouldBe: no, but there's only so much tea and biscuit withdrawal I can handle, now come mood swings, delusions…anyway; "Anyone else would have done it."
A jealous voice rang out.
"YEAH, see? If she'd LET me, I would have!" the crowd glared at their supposed leader. Raven, trying to be kind, smiled at the other fat, lazy, hung-over woman with pimples across her whole face.
"Yes, yes, you would have," she admitted in a patronizing tone. JAm: what an evil CouldBe: JAM! Shh! The crowd sighed and stared JAm: hatefully, realising what a Mary Sue… CB: JAM!Lovingly at Raven whose cheeks lit up rose again.

As you see, she handles Nasuada perfectly and denies any great achievement. Here, now, Magpie faces a host of soldiers defending Eragon. CouldBe: Well that's just a load of gibberish! What sort of a name is 'MAGPIE'? JAm: mood swings you say…

"No!" Magpie screeched. "That was an accident, and his hair grew BACK didn't it?"
The guards continued to glare. Magpie stamped her foot in frustration.
"UGH!" she screeched "Just because I'm CLEVERER and you're JEALOUS! It's not FAIR!" The guards looked unimpressed save for one who fainted.
Orrin helpfully came by.
"I thought it was an impressivebit of science," he offered "It explained to me something which had been puzzling me for days…"
"YES!" Magpie screeched "YES! I RULE! I discovered it, see?" She told the guards ignoring Orrin's disgusted snort.
"See? My experiment helped a KING!"
The guards simply pointed their swords at her and the front one snarled "GO. AWAY!"

Our lovely Magpie points out how NOT to make your (ideal) character speak.

JAm: CouldBe, why are you sitting in the corner crying? CouldBe: *muttering* biscuits biscuits tea biscuits tea tea tea biscuits biscuits teeeeeea biscuits tea biscuits tea biscuits tea biscuits biscuits biscuits biscuits… JAm: these mood swings go by quickly, only a minute ago you were… CouldBe: *smiling and singing* The rain is gone! The sun is bright; I see new meaning in my life!

In face of a situation which calls for verbal insult, go for highly clever things like 'I hate you!' or 'you're vile' or any swearword known to man. (I also recommend the use of the word 'pervert' somewhere among your amazing chapters.) They subtly underline the fact that the insulted is not wanted. CB: subtly? Also it makes for easily understood drama which will, no doubt, impress your readers. Now, of course, consider what might happen if, for example, your (ideal) character paid something. You as the writer want the others to CARE. Therefor you have to do something like this:

Raven smiled dazzlingly at Eragon and Murtagh both of which had just asked for her hand in marriage.
"I'm sorry," she said wisely "I cannot marry both of you," Both gasped in horror. Raven could tell what they were thinking: CB: she's telepathic TOO? Wow, this girl IS talented which would she pick?
"But my love!" Murtagh said
"I love you" Raven smiled sadly at the two. She knew who she was going to choose before she opened her mouth JAm: I'm told that's what normal people TEND to do…"I know," she said JAm: Oh you do? Sorry for reminding you. "I..I love you. I will accept your offer…Murtagh."
Eragon broke down crying.
Murtagh did the happy dance.

Both boys care deeply about every word she says. After all, your (ideal) character IS the main (and ideal) character of your fic. ALL the characters either LOVE her or ENVY her.

How not to write a…dramatic scene:

Magpie threw herself on her knees in front of Eragon "ERAGON!" she yelled dramatically, "will you marry me?"
Eragon blinked at her slowly "you're twelve…"
"I don't care! MARRY ME ERI! MARRY MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
Eragon turned to leave.
"NO! Eragon, please listen! I know I'm not the prettiest,"
Eragon nodded "…cleverest,"
Eragon nodded "most skilful,"
Eragon nodded "most talented,"
Eragon nodded "most modest,
Eragon nodded "funniest…"
Eragon nodded "…girl, but I have some good qualities!"
Eragon sighed "What would those be?" he asked eventually.
"LOVE!"
Eragon walked away.

There are several things wrong. Can you spot them? 1. Magpie sounds FAR too desperate 2. There isn't enough description 3. Magpie admits faults, which (ideal) characters should not do JAm: Mary sue rule 1: NO FAULTS WHATSOEVER 4. Eragon rejects and even INSULTS her and she just let it slide by.
Sorry, Magpie, better luck next time.

CouldBe: You have NO idea how lucky you are!
JAm: come again…
CouldBe: NO IDEA I tell you. You have a house!
JAm: so do you!
CouldBe: family!
JAm: *sigh*
CouldBe: cool shoes!
JAm: why thank you!
CouldBe: they're not that great…
JAm: oh…
CouldBe: I'm scared *rolls into ball*
JAm: any chance of getting a therapist, a psychologist or the number of Looney bin?
CouldBe: *still in ball* 0205674839

YAY! Just to mention, more teddy bears are still there to win! We have had a couple of entries, but we are STILL searching for THE master name-finder or inventor! Entries must be in before the release of the next chapter! (one-three days) Meanwhile don't forget to review! The button is awaiting you!