CHAPTER 5:
Mike, The Wandering Hero
"And here we have. . ."
Adam Copeland raised a curious eyebrow to Matthew's nonstop scribbling as they made up the front of the tour group in one of the vineyards outside of Rome. The drive was a little far but they managed to get a good fuel-efficient van to pack in their small group as every wrestler headed off in their own direction for the day to explore during their stay in Rome. Tomorrow, they would hit Florence to meet up with the third group that roamed the country.
Next to Matthew, Samantha and Nattie took a picture of practically anything in sight to show it off back home and keep in a scrapbook (well, Samantha would). Adam withheld a small sigh to the other man's loud scribbling that was growing louder by the minute and questioned bluntly, "Do you really have to write everything? It's a tour, man."
"Yeah, but when am I going to be in Italy again to see it firsthand?" Matthew replied eagerly to his new knowledge on winemaking as he continued jotting everything down. Adam simply sighed again since wine wasn't his thing; put a beer in hand and he'd be set for the day.
Meanwhile, Ted kept using Stephen and Randy as his sleeping posts because all he wanted to do was head outdoors for freedom and sip some wine. Like he'd told the group, 'you guys can stay, but my brain's outta here' and he meant every word of it.
Mike, who was reading a pamphlet about the vineyard to learn something new (but not with the same zest as Matthew) ignored the other men behind him. Getting involved would only cause him a migraine, especially when Ted was in the center of the scuffle, and decided to play the deaf man. Unfortunately, a snicker broke from his lips when he overheard Stephen's sharp remark, "Did yah slobber on me, fella?"
"Um. . .what response suits you?" Ted spoke up slowly with caution to make sure no sudden movements angered the Irishman as he tried to glance away from the dark damp blotch he left on the man's t-shirt. The other man noticed his sudden fascination with a certain spot on his shirt and Stephen's brows furrowed in irritation when he saw the blotch at the start of his shoulder. Ted realized he was two seconds away from a black eye and scattered to the wind with a yelping, "Gih!"
The blond was lucky at squeezing through the open gaps in the crowd but Stephen was blocked off at giving chase when the pockets closed quickly by other tourists. Randy chuckled to himself and told the other wrestler good-humouredly, "Don't worry, I'm sure we can dump the body in one of the fields. Nobody will notice."
The two men were rapidly shushed by Matthew, who found everything exciting and wasn't about to miss a word. Adam, on the other hand, was growing drowsier by the monotone tour guide with each passing second, and decided to head towards the nearby gift shop to buy something for his dear ol' mom. At least there, he'd be spared from the tedious lecture and could probably buy a book about it.
By the third shift of the tour group, everyone had joined Adam inside the gift shop with the exception of Matthew, Nattie, and TJ (who'd been unwillingly pulled along by the iron grip of his girlfriend). Ted snored away his second nap on a bench next to Samantha, who was being used as a human pillow while she drank from a water bottle. It was the only thing allowed inside the place and she wasn't about to get drunk halfway through the trip because she was certain that Randy, their designated driver, would not adhere to his promise. After two outings in Sacramento and Atlanta where he practically plowed drivers off the highway in a hot ruby Hummer while Hennigan rode shotgun with the same lively behavior, she was allowed to keep a vigilant eye out.
Mike glanced at her as he perused through a stand of post cards and pointed out dryly in regards to their friend, "You know, you could just kick him away."
Samantha chuckled to his cruelty but then again, this was the men's way of brotherly 'love' as they called it so she'd simply humor him. She smiled politely as she patted Ted's sleeping head to playfully state, "Nah, he's actually kind of adorable in that pesky cousin way when he's knocked out."
Randy's deep voice overlapped in the background noise as he praised, "All right, beer mugs in a vineyard. It's about damn time."
She sighed morosely under her breath, already imagining the poor drivers Randy would honk at to get off his road, and glanced pointedly at her blond friend to flatly demand, "Please don't tell me you're all going back drunk."
"Sam, you should know by now that we can't and most likely won't promise that" Mike stated matter-of-factly to his friends drinking behavior (they were in a vineyard, after all) as he meticulously chose his souvenirs in post cards, purposely ignoring the glare she sent his way. She expected Randy and Mike to take control of the group since they were the most level-headed but if the two were in agreement with the others. . .shame on her for coming along.
"Yeah!"
Mike jumped back to the new voice that broke into their conversation, resisting natural instinct to punch at the intruder when he saw Anthony Carelli literally explode from a rack of t-shirts with the vineyard's logo. Samantha grabbed her belongings instinctively with an alarmed yelp as Anthony posed dramatically like a gymnast off their dismount. Meanwhile, Ted only snored louder with no interruption, lightly punching her thigh as if it was his pillow.
Mike stared blankly in surprise to the grinning Canadian man in front of him before exclaiming defensively, "Don't you know not to sneak up on people?"
"But you're friends, that's entirely different" the dark-haired man dismissed good-naturedly and proceeded to peruse through the same stand he'd popped out from. Mike was about to question him on the strange entrance that had practically put him on danger alert but Anthony was already mumbling distractedly to himself, "Now what to get i miei cari nipoti anziani."
Randy's boisterously deep voice popped up again to declare, "Hot damn, little wine bottles for key chains. . .with wine inside!"
"And I here thought Disney park gift shops were the only place that wanted to suck your wallets dry" she sighed in dismay to the shopping going on within the shop but she'd wait till later because she was sure another one would pop up eventually to distract them yet again. Suddenly remembering that Anthony hadn't come with their group, she furrowed her brow to ask curiously, "Say Anthony, how'd you get here?"
The wrestler smiled proudly as he turned away from the clothing racks to reply, "I drove, Italy's my home away from home-"
"I thought it was Japan?" Mike cut in dryly as he moved to a rotating stand with key chains and spun it for mild amusement. He liked doing that as a kid when he waited with boredom in stores with his mother and still found himself interesting in doing it.
Anthony shooed him away with a swat of his hand for interrupting his conversation and retorted smartly, "That was for work."
"Same thing" the blond justified while Samantha rolled her eyes to the men's verbal duel about who was right. She assumed their testosterone would be lowered after all the wrestling they did in front of cameras but no, there was still enough to go around outside the job.
"Pipe down or you'll wake my overgrown baby" she ordered to stop their bickering and motioned to the sleeping Ted, who kept kicking at the air as he fought whatever was in his dreams. Samantha was certain she overheard a nightmarish mumble about sock puppets before the man muffled his voice against her teal handbag. Sock puppets, huh?
"Isn't that a little cruel?" Adam joked from his nearby spot as he read an informative decorative wall that was much better than the tour guide. He was better at visual learning anyway and could multitask by reading it while simultaneously picking on the unaware sleeping Ted.
Stephen's accented voice broke in to remark incredulously from the other side of the of the shop, "Says the man that didn't get slobbered on."
Samantha found it hard to figure out where the others were due to the obscuring store cases and Randy finally popped into view with his black shirt and denim jeans. He didn't hesitate to join the teasing and poked Stephen's bad luck, "By the end of this trip, your change of clothes will be gone. You should get hired for a detergent advertisement with all the washing you have to do. You're probably their 1 customer."
"Randy! You're not supposed to exploit me!" Samantha shot back embarrassedly to the fact that she'd caused most of Stephen's mishaps thus far and jabbed a finger in Ted's direction. The blond demon was already enough for her to handle off the job and pointed out flatly, "That's already his job."
"Giant donuts with fu-u-u-u-udge!" the sleeping blond suddenly declared excitedly and quieted down as if it never happened, slumping against Samantha to continue snoring. She fought the urge to record the man on camera for future blackmail purposes as moral principles won out.
They all stared in silence to the sudden outburst until Randy took control of the situation (which Samantha was thankful for) and ordered their group, "Okay, let's hit the outside. Stephen, Anthony, you're playing baby carrier for today."
"What?" the redhead objected instantly with a flabbergasted look to being demeaned by carrying Ted around like a baby. He came to enjoy a vineyard on his day off, not lag around a blond man-child.
"The fu-" Anthony was about to finish the previous man's exclamation but Samantha expertly squirted water into his eye from her seat. She wasn't about to have them cussing left and right with children around the area and innocently smiled. Anthony held his right eye with an, "Ow!"
Randy didn't acknowledge the protests from both men but nodded to her intervention before a ruckus erupted. While the Canadian held his abused eye and the Irishman shot him a defiant glare, Randy explained his reasoning smugly, "One, he's scared of flaming red hair for some unknown reason. Two, you can fake not understanding language by telling him he's still in a dream induced state and probably make him embarrass himself. And three, I just plain ol' don't feel like doing it myself."
The wrestler turned around with his confident posture and with his head held high, carried his bag of souvenirs off with an arrogant, "Bon voyage, suckers!"
Stephen and Anthony groaned aloud, but mostly the Canadian since he never expected to tag along unwillingly with the group and cursed his luck. Stephen was giving him a dangerous stare that dared him to ditch him on the task and it froze his hot Italian bloodstream from fleeing the field.
"Wow, Randy's good at manipulation" Samantha commented impressively to the way he'd made the two take charge of Ted (which meant she was free) and sipped her water bottle but froze when both of them stared at her dead on. She flinched to being their new target and innocently defended herself, "Don't look at me. I'm just an innocent bystander."
In the end, they pulled along the other members of their group out of the tour and had reluctantly allowed an enthusiastic Matthew to tell them everything he learned while they wandered the vineyard. To the rest, it was simply a grape filled field that couldn't be picked no matter how tasty it looked while Matthew reveled the whole area. Frankly, they were lucky enough to have a costly but thankfully unescorted pass to roam the entire place so Samantha would be sticking to them like glue to make sure nothing happened. Sometimes she wondered why their crazy adventures didn't wind up in the televised scripts after all the insanity she'd endured.
Unfortunately, their good deed of letting Matthew yammer on his new knowledge allowed them to forget where they wandering. Now, they were trying to find the paths they'd taken before they became truly lost in the large fields of grapes while Matthew sulked that he'd brought everything but a map. Phones were practically useless there with no signals and despite all the applications Adam had on his fancy phone, he couldn't find one that would get them out of a jam. Here is where the group finds themselves as they travel the open areas while hoping wildlife is void there to steer clear of any serious dangers.
"Hey, a lizard!" TJ exclaimed giddily since that little reptile was the only exciting thing he'd seen for the last twenty minutes. Frankly, the sight of endless grapes was making him a little nauseous and he'd praise the heavens if they dropped an apple tree nearby. He was about to make a grab for the green little creature as it nestled near the edges of a bush but Nattie pulled him back by a hard yank on his right ear. Her boyfriend didn't hesitate on exclaiming painfully, "Ow!"
He rubbed his sore earlobe as the pain traveled down the back of his neck and miserably muttered to himself, "I should've gone with David to the Leaning Tower of Pisa."
"Well, you didn't" his girlfriend shot back matter-of-factly to his sour mood and ushered for him to walk forward, earning him humiliation when the other men imitated whipping noises. The blond woman turned around to face them head on and snapped coldly, "Need I remind that I do have a belt and I'm not afraid to use it on a grown man?"
The noises ceased like an old record scratching on its player and was quickly followed by nonchalant whistling noises as they dispersed around the area. Ted, who was now fresh as a daisy, grabbed Matthew's water bottle from the side of his backpack when he wasn't looking and proceeded to guzzle it down without a care that it was somebody else's property. Samantha, however, saw it as unfair to poor Matthew who was trying to conserve his water and scolded shrilly, "Ted! Put that back!"
Matthew turned around instantly, abruptly halting his study of the wine grapes and gaped for a moment at the blond's audacity. Ted simply kept drinking the water without a care as his colleague watched him and Matthew clenched his fists before arguing sharply, "Stealing is a crime, you know."
"Like you're going to turn me in for a $1 water bottle?" Ted scoffed sarcastically to the threat but handed it back to halt anyone else from whining. Matthew, however, simply let him have it to prevent any microbacterial spreading.
"It cost way more than that haircut" Matthew rebuffed easily to his careless tone since he did steal his property and wagged a finger at Ted. With a voice of warning, he reprimanded the blond with a harsh reminder, "And stop using people's stuff. You'll end up giving us jock itch again."
"Augh!" the men grimaced disgustedly in remembrance to that specific incident of months prior and all of it being Ted's fault.
Nattie's nose wrinkled to that private fact of theirs which would've been a big help if she didn't have to know about it in the first place. Hoping her boyfriend hadn't caught any of that, she demanded sharply, "Could you keep this in men talk? Sam and I do not want to know what goes on in sweaty man land."
"Yeah, well, no one wants to know about makeup land!" Ted shot back smartly to defend his manhood and nodded self-assuredly but the other men didn't agree, their mouths mumbling out a muffled 'yeah' or a cough. Obviously, they didn't want to face the wrathful Nattie and decided to escape with silence. The blond shook his fist at them for being left on his own and shouted with betrayal in his voice, "Fine, ditch me, you scabs!"
Mike jabbed a thumb in the man's direction and joked to the others, "Hey, if we let him yap on, help will find us with his loud voice serving as a beacon."
Nattie rolled her eyes to the men jabbering on while they were lost in who knows where and headed off on her own to find the end of the dizzying aisle they were currently standing in. If they didn't seem to care about the fact that they were lost, then she'd take matters into her own hands. Samantha, Matthew, and TJ followed along diligently since they'd rather take their chances with the level-headed Nattie than. . .well, any of the men burping out the alphabet back there.
"I'm pretty sure the tour guide will know we haven't left so they're bound to find us" Matthew piped up optimistically toward their chances of rescue and kept flashing his camera around to cheer himself up. He wasn't the type to let something hold him down and always looked to the brighter side of things.
Behind them, Ted suggested his own means of salvation by announcing confidently, "I say we find a clearing and park Stephen smack in the middle of it. His hair's bound to draw attention!"
"Don't be an arse" Stephen refused sharply to being left alone to play scarecrow and beacon all in one. He agreed to come in order to enlighten his mind and although he was in the same boat as the others, he wasn't about to do anything that popped into mind as a means for salvation. Anyone who listened to Ted's ideas would regret it by the next morning.
The blond scoffed sardonically to having his idea denied (he was the only one thinking at the moment) and bluntly pointed out, "Hey, I'm not the one with the redheaded dominance in genetics, pal. If my hair was flaming red, lime green, neon pink-"
"I dare you to suggest it!" Nattie yelled back from up ahead and everyone found themselves surprised to her keen hearing. They were almost inclined to call her Superwoman at this point.
Ted shot the woman a glare from his sitting spot for being interrupted so rudely but continued with a casual tone, "I'd do it myself but I don't. Let's go, Stephen."
The redheaded giant didn't move because he would fight the stupid idea the whole way through and could see that nobody was eager to agree with Ted. The younger man crossed his arms defensively, blowing a careless raspberry between his lips before scoffing wryly, "So much for teamwork. If we never get rescued and our rotting carcasses are pecked at by vultures, I want you to know. . .it's all your fault, Stephen."
A small brown pebble landed on his shoulder and the guilty hurler, Samantha, defended sharply, "He'll get horribly sunburned out there. Fair complexions are practically ice cream under the sun. It can lead to melanomas from UV exposure and-"
"Don't worry, Samantha, Ahm not doin' it" Stephen interrupted quickly to ease her worries about him melting out there and aimed a decent glare at the blond. Ted wasn't about to waste his energy on wrestling the irritated Irishman and decided to fiddle through his pockets for leftover candy to chew on. It was better to taste refined sugar and high fructose corn syrup than dirt and blood any day.
"So much for that brave Irish pride" the blond muttered under his breath but groaned the next second when Stephen knocked him upside the head. He really should have watched if he'd left first but Stephen had taken full advantage of the opening and smirked when Ted exclaimed, "Ow!"
"Can't say that close-minded American stereotype was wrong" the Irishman shot back smugly to the silenced man who nursed his broken pride but half of the people there turned to glare at him. Stephen realized he'd made a faux pas with his American bred colleagues and quickly restated what he meant by jabbing a thumb in Ted's direction, "By that, Ah meant 'im."
While the American argued with the Irishman, one blond Canadian decided to check his phone as he used it like sonar tracking for a satellite signal. He kept getting a measly bar but it died the second he moved it. . .or when he didn't. Damn his cell phone company's false advertising! Letting out a frustrated groan as he resisted from flinging his phone across the fields, Adam grumbled under his breath, "There's probably spam satellites blocking my phone signal out there."
"Great, just what we need, space pollution" Samantha sighed miserably and crossed her arms, leaning against Matthew's arm tiredly, who was leaning on TJ while the bald wrestler leaned on his girlfriend. It was surprising how much of a strong statue Nattie could be and Samantha stood upright to get some of the weight off, sighing aloud tiredly, "We already have enough Ted pollution."
Ted was about to launch a dramatic rebuttal since it seemed to be 'Pick On Ted Day' but Adam suddenly exclaimed hopefully, "There's a bar!. . .C'mon."
He wiggled the phone in the air like a madman to read it and quickly told the group, "The higher it is, the better the reception. If only I could raise it high enough. . ."
Randy, the group's genius, put his neurons to work and put a plan into action. Ted was about to suggest that Adam climb a tall tree nearby for a signal but Randy beat him to it by suggesting his plan to everyone, "Here's the plan. Tallest gets the signal. Stephen-"
"Why the eff do Ah have to do everythin'?" the redhead demanded tiredly, rolling his shoulders with slight irritation for being in the spotlight, but reluctantly agreed to do it. What else did he have to lose? He snatched Adam's phone without another word as the blond man quickly warned that it was expensive and that his insurance needed to be renewed.
Samantha's mind became lit to add onto Randy's plan as her own neurons began to run on the mental hamster wheel and piped up, "Adam, you should climb on his shoulders to double the height-," she stopped when all the men glanced at her awkwardly, "What?"
"Sammy, men aren't comfortable with too close personal boundaries like that" Mike explained slowly with an uncomfortable glance and she shot him a glare for the sudden worry over breaching personal space. If they weren't found, they'd dehydrate and probably die next to one another anyway. He raised his hands as a sign of defense and pointed out, "Don't blame me, it's the rule of society!"
"This, from the men who wrestle each other half-naked each week and use such moves?" she sighed in disbelief to the apparent manly code they were adamant on defending by the look on each of their faces and pinched the bridge of her nose. Honestly, this 'bro' code was harder to decipher than an Egyptian hieroglyph. Well, that only left two women to man up to the job and turned to her friend, "Fine, Nattie-"
The blond decided to use this to her advantage in the matchmaking ploy and fanned her face as she faked a tired sigh, "I'm a bit lighteheaded from the sun-"
TJ unknowingly decided to be captain obvious to what his girlfriend was saying and remarked casually, "But you're in the shade- oof! My stomach."
Samantha stared at poor TJ, who now held his stomach painfully and leaned against a sturdy bush, while Nattie flexed her right arm. Returning to the innocent fanning of her face, she took on the sickly expression that was gone just a second prior and told the group, "It's best that Sam goes. She's flexible-"
"So are you" TJ piped up innocently as he caught his second wind but unfortunately, received another punch to the gut for interfering. He held his abused abdomen and lowered his chin to his chest as he groaned aloud, "Ow! My pancreas."
While everybody sent a sympathetic glance to poor TJ, who was hunched over, Stephen handed Samantha the phone to get it over with. She bit the inside of her cheek nervously as he kneeled and she hopped uneasily onto his wide shoulders, trying not to let skin contact bother her. Becoming red like a cherry was not a good color in their current temperature and concentrated on taking the bar readings, trying to shove aside the feel of his hands on her thighs-
Stop it, Sam! This is not the time to get the schoolgirl blush!, she chastised herself because it was simply nonsexual skin contact and slowly waved the phone in a few directions but saw no change.
"What if I put it high in the air? Will it beep an alert so I can dial an emergency number?" she asked aloud, using Stephen's head as a rider would her horse's saddle to keep a grip. The Irishman didn't seem to happy on having his crimson hair flattened and yanked, silently cursing in Gaelic when Adam stated that his phone wasn't that fancy. Her fingers patted his messy hair in an attempt to fix it and Samantha smiled widely to remark impressively, "Hey, it's not razor blade sharp like I thought."
"Sam" Mike reprimanded with a small sigh to her newest discovery and the dark-haired woman uttered a sheepish 'whoops' before raising the phone into the air in the hopes of getting something.
She thinned her lips when nothing alerted her from the phone and waved it around to see if it attracted a sign from somewhere. Anywhere! Her fingertips held on tightly as she tried to get the highest position possible but it did nothing. Even the best of phones couldn't thwart mother nature and she shook her head to suggest to the group, "Maybe we need to get higher. I'm not getting anything."
Stephen sighed depressingly to playing the mule and getting absolutely nothing in solution to their problem. He could feel Samantha's fingertips tapping against the top of his head and came up with his own plan for a change, "Put yer feet in mah hands so Ah can give yah a boost. It should give yah a few inches of height."
"I could also fall, Stephen" she pointed out fearfully because meeting the floor and getting a face full of dirt was not an exciting prospect. Coming back to the states with two missing front teeth would be embarrassing enough. On the other hand, death by dehydration and the cold of night wasn't any better either. Stephen didn't seem to want to take 'no' for an answer (probably because the scarecrow part could come true due to desperation) and regrettably agreed. Reluctantly, she placed her feet in his hands and actually felt like an equestrian when she stood shakily to raise the phone into the air. His hands kept a firm grip on her feet (her size 6 feet fit easily in his palms) as he raised her higher into the air with his strength. Sustaining the weight was nothing for Stephen since Sam weighed half of what the other wrestlers (excluding the women who were lighter) did.
Seconds flew by and after a minute, nothing happened. If at all, the only thing happening was a battery drain within the phone from normal usage.
"Higher" she piped up for a last attempt and Stephen proceeded to stand on his tiptoes to boost her up further. To the rest of the group, they began to appear comical as Ted snickered that they reminded him of amateur ballet dancers. A smack to the head from Randy stopped it while Samantha hissed under her breath at the negative readings, pointing her index finger into the air to declare, "Nothing. Higher, Mr. Farrelly!"
"It's Stephen" he reminded her with a tired face as the heat painted his porcelain cheeks a doll-like pink while his hair became matted around his forehead. He grabbed her by the waist this time to hoist her higher but it only served to unsettle her at the sudden change of height and loss of stability.
"S-Steph-" she blurted as she wiggled to find a bar on the phone and lost her balance, dipping forward suddenly by the torso. Her fingers grasped a full hand of spiky red hair that caused him to exclaim aloud to the sudden pull as she tried to balance herself. By this time, Ted was using his own phone to take pictures for use as blackmail later. The redhead could only shift Samantha backwards to prevent falling forward himself but it only caused him to fully throw the poor woman backwards with his strength.
Samantha yelped in alarm when she suddenly found herself falling through mid-air but Mike, being ever so handy, simply caught her as he stood nearby. The dark-haired woman was instantly relieved to being helped and ordered her beating jackhammer of a heart to calm down. Stephen, however, wasn't so lucky and fell flat on his back with nobody to help him. . .not that the men even tried.
"High. . .er- bleh" she mumbled deliriously as her hand instinctively waved the phone again and a second later, slumped in Mike's arms like a limp noodle. Adam dove for his phone when it slipped from her fingers and quickly pocketed it before it was busted and he was out of three hundred bucks and whatever replacement fees they pinned him with.
Stephen rubbed the back of his throbbing head as he sat upright and shot each of his colleagues (except Nattie who actually tried to help but couldn't reach him in time) a dark scowl. Great, now he'd need some aspirin to get rid of the pain and growled under his breath before remarking tartly at all of them, "Thanks for helping meh, fellas!"
"No problem" Ted laughed sarcastically to the fallen man but turned sullen the next second to their current predicament. Humor just didn't overcome the fact of being lost and he didn't hesitate to point out bluntly, "Face it, we're lost and gonna starve to death-"
"We're not starving to death" Adam argued sardonically with a drawl to the improbability and snorted to grin smugly, "But if we do, you're the first to go if you know what I mean."
Samantha became instantly alert to that comment.
"I know they call you the Rated R superstar but cannibalism is too extreme!" Samantha declared dramatically to his joke and jumped out of Mike's arms to grab a hold of Adam's left. As her favorite wrestler, Samantha felt it was her right as any loyal fan to make sure he didn't do anything too crazy in public and objected with a shake of her head, "No, if they take you away to jail, who will I ogle on Monday Night Raw? Who will I cheer for while eating nachos? It certainly isn't going to be Ted!"
"Hey!"
Nattie coughed abruptly on purpose and impishly muffled under her hand, "AchStephen-ahem!"
"Nat!" the dark-haired woman scolded as the blond innocently smiled at the Irishman, who returned an unsettled glance, and Mike was beginning to believe the sun was getting to Samantha if she was being this open with everyone. She was usually reserved in normal circumstances rather than clinging to her favorite superstars or exclaiming dramatics like Ted. . .then again, they were in a sticky situation that could unhinge anyone.
"He's old enough to be your father, worship someone else. . .like me!" Ted snapped indignantly to Samantha's innocent admiration of the wrestler since Adam had been the first that got her interested in the sport. There was nothing romantic in it but every superstar noticed she always brought him a biscotti with his coffee instead of the regular cookies everyone received, Stephen included.
"I'm not old, blondie, I'm. . .experienced" Adam replied cockily because he wasn't about to be told that he was old by Ted of all people and decided to end the conversation to avoid more drama and headaches. Samantha let go of his arm to scuttle back next to Mike, who was turning pink from the heat and wishing he hadn't worn new clothes. So much for looking nice on a vineyard trip. Adam ran a hand through his damp locks before pondering aloud, "Okay, we need to figure out how we're going to. . .hmm, we don't even know what direction we're in!"
A sharp whistle echoed through the field to stop the frantic worry and Randy stopped it when they looked to him as the cause. Apparently, he would have to take charge in this and stated easily with a knowing grin, "The sun sets toward the west and everyone knows the moss grows on the north side of trees. Use it as a guide."
Everyone scattered within millisecond to find a nearby tree but came up empty-handed since they were a distance away from the fields. Great, the one spot with shade that they picked was meters away from any decent trees and Randy sighed in aggravation to another failure. The heat was already making him cranky and he waved a hand to motion to the sun overhead, "It's going, er. . .can't really see. . .I should've brought my shades- Ted, you look up there and tell me. You can't possibly lose any more brain cells."
"I'm not suffering blindness for you!" he shot back defensively at the stupid idea (his Stephen, the scarecrow, idea made better sense) and sat down on the dirt with crossed arms. It was obvious he wasn't going to budge anytime soon and Ted finalized it by looking at each person there to announce, "I'm conserving my energy like a bear and staying put."
"It's moving behind us" Nattie stated bluntly out of nowhere since she'd taken initiative by pulling out her own sunglasses from her purse to take a look. The men stopped fighting over who would suffer temporary blindness and she placed them back inside before looking over the wine fields. The men fell into dead silence when she brought up another crucial question, "So, where's the tour house thingie?"
Instantly, the men pointed in every direction possible with unquestioned certainty that had both women believing none of them knew the actual location. Samantha wanted to beat a nearby bush to death but felt guilty afterwards for wanting to hurt an innocent plant. Her blond friend, however, was furious because she'd asked them beforehand to remember and they horribly failed at doing so after nagging they wouldn't.
"See? This is why men should never lead, they get people lost" Nattie snapped irritably to put them each on the spot, even her beloved TJ, because they had assured her they wouldn't forget. With a low grumble, she opened her leather purse to search through it for breath mints. The spearmint flavor usually calmed her down and she needed it badly before she rampaged through the fields, beating down the knuckleheads.
Randy, however, didn't appreciate the comment and jabbed a finger in her direction to argue defensively, "That's sexist. As a member of MAGS-"
The men, in an effort to take away Nattie's attention from them and onto something else, echoed with humorous curiosity, "MAGS?"
Mike and Adam burst into laughter long enough for TJ to ask with riddled confusion, "What do bullets have to do with sexism?"
"It's an acronym!" Randy exclaimed curtly with a miffed glare at having his club name made fun of and was surprised that Ted didn't jump right in to unleash a barrage of jokes. Maybe he was actually staying put like a bear. Seeing that he had their attention, Randy raised his chin and crossed his arms to announce proudly, "Men Against Gender Stratification."
The men, once again, burst into laughter at the real name and Randy grit his teeth at their ignorance since he was trying to make a stand for his gender. Obviously, it was a spectacular failure. Adam put safety over dignity on the backburner for the moment and casually remarked, "Switch the S with an E and you could belong with all those MMORPG people," his voice lowered to take on a teenage pitch, "I'm a mage casting a level five spell-"
"There's nothing wrong with RPG's, I love 'em" Matthew defended his favorite pastime and fondly remembered all the soda he drank to stay up to finish long campaigns on his Playstation. Oh, the beloved memories he had.
Wait, that was last week, he thought sheepishly to the gaming pack he always carried on his trips to pass the time. The older men complained it was childish but an hour later, they were fighting over who got the last grenade or boasting about the most kills online.
"I'd rather take a real RPG weapon in a shooter game and blast everyone to bits- kapow!" Samantha piped up excitedly, fisting her hands giddily at the idea of blowing something up on a big television. Obviously, being raised in a house full of boys had more of an effect on her competitiveness than she first thought. Everyone stared awkwardly at the usually docile Samantha who seemed about ready to declare war on any nearby ant hills and she chuckled sheepishly, scooting behind Nattie to avoid attention again.
Anthony waved his hands to calm everyone's clamoring conversations and brought them all together on one point, "Okay, now that we know Randy's in MUGS-"
"MAGS!"
"Whatever, that's nothing" Ted scoffed dismissively and puffed his chest as he chewed on a caramel square. The group sighed in disappointment since they thought he'd be good on his vow of silence but he patted his chest haughtily to declare, "I'm President of the DiBiase Jr. Fan Club, Hooters' Customer of the Year, American Airlines Frequent Flier- Executive level, Vice-President of the East Coast Duck Hunters, and Co-Chair of the Squid Protectors because you know, we need ink for gags."
There was stunned silence throughout the field, except for a few twittering birds (who luckily weren't ducks), until Mike cleared his throat to uneasily say, "O-o-o-kay, I think we heard enough from the squid lover-"
"Says the Chuck Norris West Coast Charter Member" Ted shot back for the wisecrack and jabbed his finger triumphantly for scoring a hit. Samantha could only balk at his audacity when he admitted smugly without shame, "That's right. I picked your wallet at the hotel for snack money."
Mike simply gave him a deadpanned stare (most expected him to chase the man across the field for retrieval) and reached his hand back toward his back pocket. He pulled out a black wallet to show everyone and shook it lightly for emphasis before stating smartly, "You mean this wallet that I've had with me since we left the US?"
It was Ted's turn to blink with confusion because he was certain he'd grabbed the right wallet during his looting trip to the room and fished a brown leather wallet from his own jean's pocket. Showing it to everyone, he curiously asked aloud, "Then whose is this?"
Elsewhere in Italy. . .
"Credit or cash?"
John Hennigan grinned the pearly white smile that could swoon thousands and reached for his back pocket to reply politely, "Credit, my good man."
Instead of pulling out his wallet, he pulled out a simple white business card that read in red ink, 'You've just been DiBiase'd. . .Oh, and where did you buy these pants? I'd been thinking about getting a pair- forget it, I'm wasting expensive ink with this.'
John's left eyebrow twitched before he crumpled the card in his hand and yelled out with fury, "DiBiase!"
Ted rubbed his chin thoughtfully because he was still lost on whose wallet he took since he made it his business to know in order to give them back after his prank. He unzipped his gray traveling backpack and admitted aloud, "Since we'll probably die, because of Stephen-"
The redhead proceeded to slap him upside the head again and Ted exclaimed painfully, "Stop that, you sheep herder!"
Stephen scowled at the name and Ted laughed triumphantly to preen matter-of-factly, "That's right, I know all about your little sheep farm."
"There's nothing wrong with owning land and a few grazing animals" Stephen justified to his piece of rural land and the men snickered when the pale man's ears tinted red in embarrassment. He wanted to know how in the world Ted of all people knew about his private life, especially his land ownership, and grit his teeth in annoyance. Now, both Randy and Stephen shared the same glare for being made fun of.
It's like being in primary school all over again!, Stephen thought exasperatedly and because this time, the main point wasn't his flaming red hair.
"I think that's sweet" Samantha defended the man but then again, she did the same for pretty much everyone Ted pranked on.
The blond directed a devilish grin at her, his eyes aglow with hidden glee, and he cackled, "Oh, it's sweet all right. When we tour Ireland, those fat succulent sheep will be lamb chops in my stomach."
"Yah keep yer hands off mah sheep, fella!" Stephen threatened protectively to save his little animal friends and the men burst into rambunctious laughter to his thick accent. It always happened when he was angry and Stephen decided to lose the battle, walking away in a huff to stand next to a grape bush. Samantha, Matthew, and Nattie sympathized for poor Stephen because all he did was defend his sheep's honor and to save it from becoming Ted's future meal.
The laughter eventually calmed down and Ted decided to show off his collection of nabbed wallets to the group since he had nothing to lose at this point. TJ and Matthew were both surprised and irritated to find theirs among the stash which they assumed had been lost months ago. Both men were about to beat the blond silly (Matthew because he lost his Starbucks card and TJ for his driver's license) and Ted defended himself with a nervous chuckle, raising his hands protectively to coax, "C'mon, I'm like Robin Hood. Stealing from the rich to give to the needy."
"You're not needy" Mike pointed out bluntly with a flat stare and burst Ted's bubble of hope.
"Hey, I didn't say who kept the money and who got the wallets" the other man clarified smartly and flung a wallet at Mike for his never-ending ability to foil his plans. To Ted, he was like Batman to his Joker.
"Ted, you're developing kleptomania" Nattie scolded to his erratic need to nab his friends stuff but screamed the next second when a cute little squirrel shot by in front of her. With the extreme high pitch, most of them thought she was about to get mauled by a wild animal. Of course, nobody knew she was deathly afraid of the creatures and they gasped in mortified shock when she proceeded to fling the brown critter across the field with one swift kick. The poor critter never had a chance.
Samantha managed to recover from the stupor first and scolded her friend's impulsive behavior, "Nat!"
Poor little guy, he's probably dead or suffering a concussion, Samantha pined sadly to the poor animal and hoped it didn't have a family out there. Oh no, now I'm really sad about the squirrel. I'm like Stephen and his sheep.
The blond shuddered involuntarily to the furry creature, its image unsettling her, and she defended her phobia with a frown, "Sorry, but they scare the shit out of me. Little furry hands, sharp little teeth, and beady little eyes," she jabbed a finger at them and declared madly, "You just knew he was gonna come at us!"
Anthony gave her an awkward stare because he didn't mind seeing the creatures climbing on telephone poles or running across his backyard. He wasn't one to judge because everybody had their fear: his was birds. Trying to divert the attention away from Nattie, who was rubbing her arms with disgust, he spoke up, "Okay, I don't think Ted's the only one with issues here. We should focus on getting out of here."
Adam sighed aloud, rubbing his temples before he began acting like his stage name and stated sarcastically, "Yeah, I think we're learning too much about each other and we really shouldn't for the safety of our minds."
Mike, who was growing tired of the chatter and boiling in his clothes, decided to throw in his two cents by suggesting, "Why don't I head out to find help?"
To Samantha, it translated into 'hey, I'm gonna go die out there' instantly and she was yanking on his sleeve the next second to halt his rash idea. Mike tried to shake off her steel grip as she blurted shrilly with worry, "Are you crazy? No!"
"It's better that one of us heads out and I know Randy will keep the group sane long enough for me to find someone" he rationalized his idea and would debate it adamantly like a politician because it was certainly better than just standing around doing nothing. He jammed a thumb in Ted's direction (who was trading his current wallet for one in his nabbed collection) and wryly stated, "That and Ted's grinding my last nerve. I don't want my last deed on Earth to be 'Mike Mizanin kills Ted DiBiase Jr. over a Kermit the Frog comment'. Not good for my after life karma points."
Ted broke into amused laughter at all the jokes he'd heard from fans and nodded to the group for friendly support, "C'mon, that's what the WWE fans keep calling him."
Randy rolled his eyes with a unimpressed snort and stated dryly, "I think we're more likely to see 'WWE wrestlers kill fellow colleague and Mike Mizanin remains lost in the wild'."
"I'll be fine!" Mike assured confidently but everyone murmured inaudibly to themselves with their own objective views. The high statistics that he'd be lost within minutes were already stacked against him but of course, Mike refused to believe it. To him, anything was conquerable once you put your mind to it.
"Unless your phone has a gps, you're stuck in the same boat" Adam pointed out shrewdly to his crazy idea and shook his head at what he was hearing. This is how people wound up lost and died because they had no survival skills whatsoever yet believed they could brave the elements. He raised his brows to pin Mike with a knowing look and grimly stated the severity of his going off alone, "You're only going to wind up lost, Mike."
"Trust me, I know what I'm doing" Mike insisted without falter as he glanced at each of them (none of them were joyous about it) and shook his shoulders to start off his search for aid. He would have to skip the warm-up exercise because the faster he began the search on foot, the faster he'd reach help. After this, he could add 'hero rescues lost professional wrestlers' to his resume. Yes, that sounded quite nice.
Samantha grasped his left arm, yanking it like a rag doll's as she fussed worriedly, "What if a mountain lion attacks you? Or a snake bites you? Or you break your ankle? Or heatstroke happens-"
"Thank you!" Adam exclaimed in agreement for the nay vote but Mike wasn't hearing any of it. Samantha knew she sounded like her dear ol' mom but this time, the statistics of becoming lost were as tall as a mountain. Yes, it was a peaceful vineyard but even a huge piece of land could get anybody lost. Adam tried to find a signal one last time with his phone but got squat which led to him stuffing it into his pocket. More irritation might have him chucking it over the vineyard like that poor squirrel.
"People on the Discovery channel do it all the time, you'll be seeing me in no time" Mike rationalized to keep hope alive and pulled off a few grapes from the vines, earning a complaint from Matthew. He crushed them in his hands and wiped the purple mixture over his cheeks to form two battle stripes on each. With a goodbye wave of hand and a valiant 'here I go', he set out towards the left in whatever direction it was located on Earth.
Samantha wringed her fingers together from frantic worry but wound up scrunching up the back of Stephen's shirt accidentally. The redhead cleared his throat politely to catch her attention and she scurried off to stand next to Nattie to hold onto her for comfort. Ted ran forward, kicking loose dirt into the air to everyone's annoyance, calling out desperately to his departing colleague, "If you find help, order me a burger with fries!. . .And a bucket of fried chicken- medium spicy! Not that honey crap!"
"I'm not a drive-in box, asshole!" Mike yelled huffily back from across the field and Ted shook a fist at the fading speck that was known as The Miz. Samantha hoped she wouldn't have to file a missing person report on her friend but most importantly, that he didn't get mauled to death in the wild. She decided to keep upbeat somehow because she doubted wild animals larger than squirrels inhabited the area.
The blond man crossed his arms to snort at the air, using the action as a defensive shield to hide his worry over his friend, and whistled aloud to sigh, "Well, he's a goner."
"Ted!" Nattie scolded his callous words and smacked his arm for the rude comment.
"I'm just being realistic here, half of us will be frozen by the time they find us" he pointed out bluntly and began to pick off grapes from the vines to store in his pockets. Sunset was only a few hours away and he needed to prepare for an overnight stay if Mike didn't return in time. He'd heard enough survival stories to know half the people didn't live. . .well, in severe situations, but still. The others complained to his sudden stealing but he simply shoved the unwashed grapes into his mouth to propose aloud, "If we're going to survive, we need to gather food and huddle together for warmth. Sam, Nat, you two will be on either side of me and the rest of you guys can pick a partner."
Both women shot him deathly glares for being treated as objects and proceeded to punch the stored grapes in his front pockets into mush. Ted exclaimed in disgust to his ruined jeans (possibly his boxers as well) and exclaimed dramatically, "Fine, but don't come to me when any of you need grapes!"
"Trust us, we won't" Randy replied dryly to the idea of eating dirty grapes that came from Ted's pockets. He wasn't that desperate yet.
Anthony, who'd been digging between the piles of wallets after mysteriously losing two while on tour, called his hopeful search quits. However, he did find something handy and held up a small white compact mirror. Of course, nobody paid him attention as Ted hogged the spotlight with his grape rant and he leaned over to privately tell Randy, "We can use this with the sunlight to send an SOS to someone out there."
Randy grabbed the compact with a satisfied grin that they were finally onto something (he wasn't holding his breath on Mike's plan) and sighed, "Thank God I have somebody with a brain-"
"Hey! I take offense to that" Adam intervened defensively since he'd had the first decent idea out of everyone and jiggled his phone to point out resentfully, "Whose idea was it to use my phone?"
"It didn't work so we're onto phase 2" Randy retorted bluntly and zoned in on the only dark-haired woman there as she tried to stop Nattie from killing Ted for yet another joke. It was easy to see that Samantha was no match in restraining the professional wrestler and poor TJ had to hold onto both in order to make a difference. Randy shook his head at their antics, rubbing his forehead in stress relief as he beckoned sharply, "Sam!"
She turned quickly to glance at him and he showed her the closed compact before motioning up to the sky. Her struggle on holding back Nattie came to a halt and she left TJ to handle it as she hung her head at the silent meaning. Receiving the message loud and clear, she groaned to playing telephone pole again and mumbled pitifully, "I don't want to fall."
Of course, Randy wasn't having any 'no's from anybody today and Samantha found herself on Stephen's shoulders yet again as the disgruntled Irishman played the role of a steed. With no specific path to follow, she angled the mirror in all directions to bounce off a reflection somewhere into the unknown. She'd no idea if anyone would actually see them but she had to try because she didn't want to get blamed for being a scaredy cat and dooming them all. Like Mike had said to her, it just wasn't good karma points.
"This looks more like a crappy light show" Ted muttered with a frown as he tried to dodge Nattie's dangerous fingers from pulling his precious hair but received a wallet to the face from Adam, "Ow!"
Nattie seemed satisfied to the justice served and grabbed her boyfriend's water bottle to rehydrate her parched throat. Samantha chuckled to the direct hit but the vibration of the boisterous laugh caused her arms to move and the mirror accidentally flashed into Stephen's eyes. The redhead blurted in pain to the blinding light and his abused eyesight to exclaim frantically, "Mah eyes! Sam!"
He stumbled in his balance as he tried to blink his vision back to normal (he was sure Adam wasn't so blotchy and yellow before) and she wrapped her arms around his head like a frightened baby koala as she yelped, "Stephen, stop! Stop!"
"Ah would if Ah could see, Sam!" he blurted fretfully and the group gave a multitude of verbal directions to guide him but they overlapped each other so that didn't help matters. If at all, it confused poor Stephen further! He knew an accident was inevitable since his day started out horrible with having his breakfast stolen (he was sure it'd been Ted) and shortening his training for the day when Ted hogged his station of the gym to himself. Frankly, he wished he'd crash into him and flatten him but no.
Instead, the group winced with a startled gasp when the two crashed with a loud rustle into the row of Vermentino grape vines behind them. Samantha suffered the most as she became tangled in the vines and scratched her arms all over in a futile attempt to get free. She was certain that she'd need to put antibiotic onto some of them and hoped grape juice (luckily, they were white grapes) could be washed out of her clothes because she'd hate to throw them away.
"This is officially the worst day of my life!" she exclaimed in frustration, kicking at the plants to untangle herself but accidentally kicked Stephen's back in the process. Her face faltered into dismay when she felt her foot contact his rigid back and her cheeks darkened into a rosy hue as she blurted apologetically, "Sorry!"
Matthew helped the poor Irishman to his feet (a thankful change in comparison to his first fall) as the Irishman wondered if he would be riddled with headaches by nightfall. Training for the WWE was one thing but losing to a grape bush wasn't going to help his image, especially in front of his colleagues and friends. He ran a hand through his flattened hair to give it a little bit of life and muttered under his breath, "Mike better be on the right track."
"Um, I'd hate to ask. . .," Samantha piped up hopefully as she tried to untangle herself but ultimately failed, "but could somebody help me? I'm fighting a losing battle here."
Elsewhere in the vineyard. . .
Mike passed a small bush in the odd shape of a donut and halted in his run, jogging over to examine the familiar thing before exclaiming in irritation, "I just passed this five minutes ago! Crap!"
He ran to the left where he hadn't ventured before in order to get away from the familiar bush but minutes later, ended up at a small shallow pool of water. He stared incredulously at the small rocks littering the pool as a realization hit him.
"What the- I never came here before!" he shouted in frustration as the place began to feel like something straight out of the twilight zone. Every bush he'd made fun of seemed to come back and haunt him every half hour and the places he ventured to were leading nowhere. It was like an imaginary maze! Mike grasped his blond hair to bellow across the fields in vow, "I'm never touring with these people ever again!"
Half an hour passed and the group opted to sit underneath shady spots, drinking their water sparingly to prevent dehydration. Ted finally managed to be quiet after he realized that talking wasted energy and had made himself a bed out of leaves to nestle on it like a hibernating bear. The women were envious of the men since they could take their shirts off with ease while they'd be whistled at for taking off their tops so they remained boiling. Poor Matthew was rolling around the ground like a rabbit to cool off from the heat while Randy laid on his stomach, tongue lolling out like a panting dog's.
"We're going to roast out here" Adam panted tiredly as he tried to use his shirt as a fan, lying back against a thick bush to give himself some air. To most female fans, this would be a picture perfect Adam but the reality was that the man was literally dehydrated. Why did it have to be so hot when they took this tour? That was the whole point they took the tour instead of heading down to the beaches. They thought the free air conditioner would be better than the sun's rays but obviously, they picked wrong.
TJ groaned with misery as he laid on the ground on his bare back, moaning aloud to his girlfriend, "Nattie, before I die, I should tell you that you've made me a happy man and I wish. . ."
Nattie brightened up despite the heatstroke fogging her mind as she assumed a marriage proposal would be popping out of his dry mouth but instead, her boyfriend admitted, "I want you to know. . .that last Christmas, I accidentally dropped the glazed ham and blamed it on David."
"What? My aunt Lucille cried over that ham!" she exclaimed shrilly and smacked his head with the last strength she possessed. He recoiled in pain, holding his head in both hands at suffering yet another blow as she yelled resentfully, "She practically shunned him!"
"Don't you think I'm suffering too? I'm practically melting at this point. . .and that ham wasn't really all that tasty" he murmured listlessly to justify the accident and the group snickered to the last words. Nattie decided that if he lived, she'd be making him eat all the holiday hams his stomach could handle until he vomited. That would teach him.
Anthony grumbled like a zombie from his spot next to Matthew and declared aloud, "I think I'm starting to smell like bacon at this point."
Halfhearted 'yeah's went throughout their small group and Samantha, who had curled up under a cooling bush, croaked, "I want you guys to know that I've had a lot of fun working with you but I never thought I'd die with you. Seriously, never in my life."
"Can we still die together?" TJ tried to sweet talk his girlfriend, hoping she wouldn't stay mad about the ham incident. Nattie sighed regrettably because she wanted him to pay for all the trouble he caused at the family dinner but patted the top of his shaved head to agree. It sure was better to die with somebody at her side rather than alone in her personal view.
Ted grabbed his cache to himself and raised his chin to the sky to tell the rest proudly, "I'm going out a lone wolf. Proud and tall-"
"And howling like a harpy" Randy joked casually as he drank the last drop of his water bottle, shaking it to see if one more droplet fell but got squat. Throwing the plastic bottle aside, he jabbed a finger to each person and threatened, "If I die, don't you dare pose me in something ridiculous or I swear I'll haunt each of you and drive you to commit suicide."
"Would yah stop talking about death?" Stephen grumbled grumpily because he was not in the mood to accept that he could actually die in a damn vineyard rather than some freak accident. He could already imagine the dehydration and the slow exhausting death. . .his blue eyes widened and he remarked, "Shite, we'll look like jerky!"
Matthew picked up his head at the image of the snack and groggily asked, "Jerky? Where? I want jerky."
"Who wants to die with me?" Samantha piped up as she yawned tiredly with a raised hand, not really trying to get into the 'dying' experience but adding onto it for friendly bonding.
Adam raised his hand to snatch the invitation and managed a goofy grin, "Anything for my 1 fan."
Nattie intervened by grabbing the hem of Samantha's violet shirt when she began to crawl away and weakly protested, "No, Steph-"
Loud voices cut her last syllables off as they echoed from the right, "Qui! I found them!"
The group watched in simultaneous relief as three people from the vineyard happened upon them and Anthony hopped up with renewed energy brought on by their rescue. Finally! He was so incredibly overjoyed that he rambled in Italian to the men while Ted hugged his hoard protectively and with the heat induced paranoia, brought up cautiously, "Careful, they could be here to rob us blind!"
"Out here? And besides, we don't have anything of good value" Nattie argued to his illogical thinking on the robber part and blamed it on the heatstroke. Of course, she wasn't about to say she carried valuable things, like cash and her phone, because Ted would probably take them when she wasn't looking.
"They've been looking us for the past hour and apparently, we're three miles south from the tour office" Anthony explained the situation and finished in three short sentences to get everyone up to speed. Unfortunately, there was no sign of Mike yet. He roused the tired men from their shady spots who didn't feel anxious to walk back three miles.
"I've dealt with enough crazy today, I'm ready to get this over with" Randy grumbled with a tired sigh as he stood up slowly, brushing his short hair from any residue of dirt. He didn't want his appearance to look too 'Cast Away' but more 'Lost' in case he had to deal with the authorities. He'd give American tourists a new name if he came out unkempt and delirious like Ted. He beckoned the small group with his hand as they groaned tiredly in unison and understanding their exhaustion, gently told them, "C'mon, guys."
"I'm too tired. . .carry me with you" Ted tried to negotiate his way out of walking but got a swift kick to the kneecap by Randy that jolted him upright. He leapt to his feet and rubbed his sore knee as he hastily changed his mind, "All right, I'm going! I'm going! Damn."
The group was heading home with the help of the vineyard's staff as the sun began to set and after heavily denying that they didn't touch their grapes, Randy finally decided they'd share whatever costs popped up to prevent an international incident. Of course, Ted heavily objected but the purple stains on his blue jean pockets didn't help his case. As the group walked by a shrouded area filled with grape vines and small flimsy trees, they heard loud and violent sobbing echoing throughout the plantation causing them all to stop. Ted, the loudmouth, began saying that it was too early for Halloween (which didn't even exist there) and that the field had better not be haunted or he'd sue. This earned him another smack from Randy's end. The horrible noise continued echoing through the field as they tried to figure out what it was but Matthew already had an inkling on who and called out, "Mike?"
A few seconds later, "Yeah?"
Samantha was on edge at finally knowing where Mike was instead of worrying to death over her lost friend and tried to pinpoint where his voice had come from. Nattie chose this time to laugh aloud because as their adventure came to an end, she really needed to laugh at something to take her mind away from what happened. That, and hearing Mike sob was hilarious in itself. She grinned wittily and yelled back with amusement, "Are you crying?"
The sniffling instantly stopped and a loud indignant 'No!' echoed through the field.
"Mike, where are you? Are you okay?" Samantha called out worriedly for the man but Ted scoffed that he was fine if he could talk. She didn't pretty much care until she saw him to make that assumption and tried to see through the open patches between the bushes to pinpoint his silhouette.
"Um, on top of a large rock that I can't seem to get off from. . .can't really say much else!" he yelled hesitantly back to the group.
Randy crossed his arms at trying to imagine the scene and called back skeptically, "How'd you get up on a rock that you can't climb down?"
"I don't know, Randy, maybe I was worried over you guys and lost my path!" the blond retorted back with dripping sarcasm through the fields and Randy snickered at his lost friend. Oh, the jokes this would make on and off work.
"Are you ready to agree that I was right?" Adam added in since he'd been against the whole idea in the first place. Maybe now, people would listen to him instead of throwing his warnings to the wind.
Samantha shushed both men since she was worried more over the safety of her friend rather than who was right. She placed her hands over her mouth to carry her voice over the distance and called out, "Can you tell us anything about where you are?"
Mike's sarcastic voice shot through the empty fields, "Did I not mention I'm on a huge boulder with nothing but bushes in my sights?"
A second later, his voice hitched in a hopeful tone, "Wait, I can use my laser pointer. . ."
"Ow!" Anthony cried out suddenly as a sharp blue laser hit him square in the eyes as it carried over the distance. He grabbed his eyes to rub the awful sensation from his eyes and cursed under his breath for being Mike's target.
"Damn, that's a pretty good laser pointer" Adam remarked impressively because he didn't think many carried one on a daily basis. He hadn't seen one in a while but it seemed to work better than the compact mirror idea they used.
Samantha, however, happily grabbed Nattie by the hand as she pinpointed his location and pulled her along as a follower as the blond groaned tiredly. She headed in Mike's direction along with the rescue team and declared valiantly, "We're coming to save you, Mikey!"
"Sam, don't call me that!"
A/N: Sorry for the late, late, late, I'm sure there's more late in there but school killed me this semester. This chapter was actually supposed to be shorter but when I started editing it, I decided to add in a few more segments for all the waiting you guys did. I appreciate your reviews and the story alerts so now that this one's out, I'm working on the next one which ties up their trip in Italy before they head out to cause mayhem in France. Once again, I thank every reader worldwide and hope everyone is having enjoyable holidays.
Stay tuned next time for: Stephen, the King of Cats