Stephen, the King of Cats
Their long trip had gone as scheduled by leaving Rome behind while keeping Randy on a tight leash with his dangerous driving skills after another tumble caused Nattie to poke herself in the eye with fuchsia lipstick, Mike smacked himself in the face with his iPad, and Stephen fell off the seat once more. The redhead would never get any decent sleep at that rate, especially when his seat belt had torn completely off from its metal hinges during the first tumble. Midway, Hennigan's GPS had died without a decent charger to keep it operating and they were forced to use the old maps stored in the glove compartment since half of the phones were packed in the back. The other half tended to draw Randy's attention too closely to the small maps shown rather than the road and gave up when the maps couldn't keep up with his speed limit, chucking them back at Nattie and Hennigan (his narrowly avoided the open window). The large maps were harder to decipher than the route to Atlantis after becoming accustomed to modern technology but they kept to the main route connecting Rome to Florence. Any deviations would bode badly for them.
Unfortunately, the map was the least of their concern when the engine began sputtering wildly and decreasing in speed despite Randy's heavy foot on the gas pedal. They were traveling in the middle of a major highway as the lush green countryside bathed their views on both sides and although it appeared beautifully safe, he wasn't going to afford having their car die halfway through the trip. There were no emergency stops to seek help from so they would be stranded. The last team was heading out on a long-distance bus so that would be of no help to them due to their different route and as the van's speed began to rapidly decrease, his brow furrowed in sheer disbelief and annoyance.
The passengers noticed the decreasing speed immediately when other cars began to pass them in rapid succession, not that there were many traveling at the moment. Their conversations ceased with a heavy air of tension as they no longer occupied their time with watching the endless fields pass by and all eyes turned to Randy. When you were driving at the speed of a turtle and under no control of your own, it was cause for concern.
"No, don't you die on me, you son of a-" Randy snarled heatedly with defiance towards the vehicle as they fought a battle of will with the gas pedal. It might be old but the rental place told them that it had decent mileage left for the long trip since they'd be leaving it at one of their other stations before hitting Florence's Galileo Galilei International Airport for Paris, France. He promised to bring his colleagues to the next city with no problems from the antique vehicle and Randy Orton never broke his word (faces, however, were a different matter). If he was placed with Samantha for another chaperoned tour, he would accompany her himself to be sure their next car was perfectly maintained.
"You're gonna flood it!" Matthew called out in alarm, no longer attached to sightseeing through the window because he didn't want to become stranded in the middle of a foreign land. Yes, it was undoubtedly stunning with its architecture and natural beauty but he didn't know a lick of Italian- he was a lost little puppy out there! His mind quickly tried to trickle down the most probable causes for the sudden problem in the van but his voice was overlapped by everybody else.
"No, it's vapor lock" Mike stated smartly as his mind scrolled down the list of common car problems in relation to fuel, if that's what it was- the car was pretty old. Samantha and Nattie remained quiet since this was 'man' land where handsome immortal cars roamed majestically over perfect fields of asphalt and all problems could be cured. It was a natural trait in men to protect their precious cars like a soul mate and the death of one wasn't easy to take- especially if it was the old clunker they were currently relying on for transportation. Samantha cursed herself for picking that specific car rental company as it bait-and-switched her original van.
"No, give it more gas!" Ted countered with a new idea set onto the table but Randy had already fiddled with the gas pedal, yielding absolutely nothing in return. It could've been the battery, given the outer condition of the van, but doubted that the rental station rarely loaned the car. He'd seen some pretty bad cars in rental places over the years and had experienced his share of gas guzzlers but this one was entirely new with its vintage age. Also, they were blind in this situation because nobody owned cars that ancient.
"No, don't give it gas!" Cena shouted quickly since most cars stalled with an influx of gas to their system, leading Ted to cross his arms in defiance. Nattie could only sigh as the men butted heads over who was right when the most important problem at the moment was figuring out how to stop the car from dying. She could already feel the car trembling underneath her feet and was not about to walk on foot to Florence underneath the hot sun in white high-heel shoes. The asphalt was probably hot enough to fry eggs on and wasn't ready to test her shoes upon it.
"We should pull over!" Stephen yelled over all of them as the calm voice of reason, besides Mike, while the blond man fiddled with his handy tablet to find a web site that would help to figure out their problem. The Irishman, however, wasn't one to depend solely on technology for answers or afraid to get his hands dirty in which he added in forcefully, "Stop the car and look at the engine!"
"One at a time, people!" Randy shouted with a flustered expression on his sharp features, bringing the rabble of yells back to deathly silence because nothing was getting through nor working on the car. If anything, it all sounded like incomprehensible gibberish spoken through a loudspeaker! In his personal opinion, Stephen's idea made sense since a visual would allow a decent diagnosis but he couldn't risk stopping in case the van died instantly after turning it off. It had taken three turns of the key to start the ignition in the first place! All he could do was veer rapidly towards the right where the emergency lane laid off the road and spelled safety for them. Its location was ideal due to the span of land being empty and flat for miles so there was no imminent danger of a sudden collision.
Whatever force that existed in the universe safely guided them, the van managing to move its last meters over the road in rumbling trembles until reaching the flat grassy land of the countryside. The ancient van gave its last sputter and one short tremble before its light of existence finally extinguished, becoming completely still under the sun. Randy immediately tried to turn it on but the engine wouldn't turn on at all- the van had finally run its last ride. The women couldn't help but pity it in the heat of the moment as their mode of transportation failed and Matthew patted the metal wall with a sympathetic hand to offer its thanks. It had tried its best despite the years and lack of maintenance so it was the least they could do to honor the car.
Ted, however, simply grumbled under his breath as he slumped against his seat, "Hunk of junk."
"Ted!" Samantha and Nattie chastised, the dark-haired woman grasping his little foam pillow to bounce it off his head but its springing power clocked Samantha on the head as well. He growled at both women with offense to being struck with his own belongings, snorting with amusement to Samantha's backfire a second later, and grabbed the pillow to stuff it behind his back for safekeeping. It reminded both women of a little boy trying to hide his precious toys from sticky fingers ready to cause harm; in their case, beat him silly.
"Well, it was the least we could ask of it" Cena sighed disappointedly as their trip had now reached a humongous standstill and they had to be in Florence by tomorrow morning for a meet-and-greet. He wasn't about to risk a tongue lashing from the company for missing his work duties and rubbed his forehead to wipe away any foreboding feelings to their current dilemma. If only he could harness the power of the WWE universe to garner a free ride to Florence. Optimism was his best bet in handling the problem and he leaned against the front row to suggest calmly with a straight face, "Let's take a look at the engine and check if we can do something."
The women were struck with surprise to their lightning quick speed when all of them bolted from the van like a flock of flustered geese, the van rocking slightly to the sides under their weight. Nattie shook her head in amusement as she tied her blond hair in a low ponytail to keep the heat away while Samantha slumped over her seat, glad she'd styled her hair into a sloppy bun midway through the trip. If they didn't get moving soon, the van would turn into their personal sauna. The men popped open the gray hood to glimpse at the engine, careful not to touch anything for fear of burns as they studied the battery and all other components. Well, at least they were united in a common cause now rather than arguing each of their points.
Samantha cleaned the worn leather seats free of food crumbs, courtesy of a hungry Ted, and occupied herself by leaving the car spotless rather than a pigsty. If they were able to get the engine running or rescued by someone, she didn't want the old van to look worse than it already was. With the media always tracking down the wrestlers, the last thing they needed were slothful nicknames attached in the tabloids or an embarrassing YouTube clip (although Nic's new show was doing rather well). Nattie gathered her purse because more than likely, the van wouldn't be running anymore and popped her bag open to fish for her cell phone. If they were trapped on the road in a worst case scenario, she needed to make sure her phone had reception all the way out there and quickly typed a message for her boyfriend. She expected an optimistic or worried reply from her handsome beau but what she received caused her to grit her teeth with the ferocity of a lioness and snarled, "Why that little. . ."
Samantha blinked in surprise to her sudden anger and Nattie displayed the screen of her phone to show her the root of the problem. The phone number belonging to TJ was the culprit as she read his witty message: Ha, you're stuck. Bet you wish you listened to me now. :P
"He's not getting any smexy time anytime soon, is he?" Samantha chuckled with disbelief to his humorous reaction to their situation while Nattie frowned, hoping his bus would break down to pin him in the same rut. Of course, the brief flicker of anger would fade soon since being stuck on the road fueled most of it. They've lasted for years as a tightly bonded couple, given their on camera profession, and fights between them were rare unless there was a real underlying problem.
"Oh, he's gonna get something, all right" Nattie frowned with a grumpy murmur, forcefully stuffing her phone into her small purse to forget the cartoonish image of TJ laughing at her from his comfy recliner seat in a bus. He was totally right but she'd insisted the smaller van would flow easier in traffic. . .oh, how wrong she'd been. Where was Ted's silly pillow when she needed to chuck something into the air for stress relief?
Nattie's reaction to their forsaken roadside stop opened the door for Samantha to muster her own gumption on the problem to fix it in any way possible. Otherwise, she would have to live with the shame of being a dog with its tail tucked between its legs for allowing it. She pulled out the papers from the car rental out of her purse and exited the van find a shady spot next to it, punching in the number to demand an explanation for the car's shoddy condition. At the front, the men were grumbling underneath the hot sun as they decided who was right and whether the van died due to a fuel, engine, battery, or a mechanical problem. All bets were on for finding the answer but they ignored Ted when he declared five bucks on the battery. The engine itself was too hot to touch from the hours on the road but it wasn't spouting white or dark smoke to show that it was overheated to cause the stall.
"Want to try turning on the engine again?" Mike asked Randy with a defeated tone since the old van remained a mystery to all of them but they wanted to help it. They weren't mechanics so the answer eluded them like a needle in a haystack, causing all of them to figuratively scratch their heads.
"No, your contract clearly states- l'auto è una bugia!" Samantha snapped firmly as she switched between languages to push her point across to customer service about their mistake. She was a gentle soul most of the time, treating others cordially as she'd like to be treated, but that didn't mean she'd allow people to walk over her like a doormat (although Anthony did make a hilarious sketch of it on television). She honestly began to question her qualifications for the temporary promotion with this error but tried to look on the bright side as she adapted to new situations to add onto her professional resume. In case media broadcasting and journalism didn't work out, being a travel agent might work out wonderfully for her.
Nattie grinned from her shaded seat inside the van as she drank a cold can of pop to cool the temperature around her hot skin, glad she'd brought a cooler for the road. Water should've been the safer bet against dehydration but the sugary soft drink tasted delightful on a hot day when water was best conserved for a walk. She'd managed to find her white sneakers within a duffle bag in the back, trading them quickly with a grateful smile for her heels because an imminent long walk wouldn't sprain her ankle now. Her lips widened into an amused grin when she heard a snapping Samantha from outside, "This contract holds you responsible if we suffer injuries from this, one of us might have tetanus- "
Ted quickly waved his arms towards Samantha for attention as her voice carried through the clearing and called out helpfully with a mischievous smirk, "Say they'll live to regret this. That will show them."
"Your compromising skills astound me" Mike muttered dully towards the blond but managed a small chuckle, blaming it on the glaring sun for killing off a few of his logical neurons. Ted leaned down to rip out a chunk of grass and hurled it towards him but Mike merely watched the blades of grass flow away towards the side with a wind current, being carried to the open land around them. The blond sighed despondently to seeing his retaliation fizzle and rubbed his forehead to wipe away perspiration forming, hating the glaring sun as his ears reddened.
"You will send a car to this location, we are insured! I demand to speak to your manager" Samantha stated sharply as she ignored Ted's silly advice and recited the fine print on the contract, a habit of hers after working closely with the famous company. Research was mandatory in the field of journalism so it enraged her when legal documents were forgotten about in the face of a huge mistake and customer service refused to acknowledge it. If she had the strength of Superman, she'd hurl that van right through one of their display windows for revenge. Her sweating fingers crinkled the edge of the papers in her hands as she lost the uphill battle and declared tightly with threat, "Oh, yeah? Fine, you'll live to regret this and forget future business con la WWE."
Ending the call with a sharp punch from her thumb, she growled furiously with confounded disbelief for going nowhere with the useless company and kicked her left foot into the air to release frustration. How was she going to accomplish her task now? Or tell the others that she'd failed getting a ride out of there? As if the insult hadn't been enough, she'd unwittingly forgotten that sandals covered her feet and her gray eyes widened when a beige wedge flew across the grassy land like a football. Ted cackled from behind to her sudden misfortune, complimenting her kick to add further mortification, and she headed out to retrieve her poor sandal with slumped shoulders. Well, at least the grass wasn't prickly to tickle or irritate the sole of her foot.
"I'm gonna go ahead and say we're being left to rot on this highway" Hennigan stated with a long regretful sigh as he watched Samantha's uneven walk towards her lost shoe. It was hard not to pity a hobbling woman and the dead van, especially when the trip had originally been filled with enthusiasm and tried to regain the lost pep by asking, "So, what do we do?"
"I can't believe you made us abandon Herbie" Matthew murmured sadly as he walked alongside Mike and Stephen, all of them carrying their respective luggage over their shoulders or rolling them forward by the plastic handles. The men didn't pack very much but Samantha and Nattie tended to bring an entire armada of belongings which led to Mike, Cena, and Stephen carrying an extra piece of luggage themselves. They'd done this with the promise that the two would never pack like this again and would bring travel size items while sending the rest back home in care packages. Fearing that Nattie would go into a heat induced rage and maul all three wrestlers, Samantha had pulled her along by pledging to help categorize the most important items and finding a new system for luggage delivery.
Ted glanced back over his right shoulder with incredulity on his tanning face despite the black sunglasses concealing his eyes and asked sarcastically, "You named it?"
"It had a lot of spirit, okay?" Matthew shot back in defense to his odd sense of attachment to inanimate things, balancing his blue duffel bag over his left shoulder. He didn't want to abandon the poor vehicle when Randy ordered that they needed to find shelter while everyone had made calls to see if anybody was available to pick them up. Apparently, there was serious business regarding contracts that fateful day and they were stuck in the middle of a highway where taxis couldn't reach them due to mileage limitations.
"Enough! The van is now resting in eternal peace at the side of a road and will be picked up one day" Cena silenced the duo before they blew into a feud because the sun baking them from above was enough reason to make anyone lose their cool. Despite wearing a cap and breezy cotton clothes, the rays of sunlight burned his skin like lasers and he sighed under his breath, "At least its journey is over but we have ours to embark upon."
"You sound like a movie trailer, man" Mike chuckled amusingly to his colleague's chosen words and took a sip from his water bottle to refresh his dry mouth. It felt like a cotton ball already and laughing had caused uncomfortable tingles in his throat but it was worth laughing about. Ted might be their mascot in outrageous remarks and behavior but Cena was the charismatic poster child with his word play.
Hennigan was the only one strolling through the summer heat with a pleasant grin on his face as he pulled his suitcases along with a casual stroll whereas everyone dragged themselves along lethargically like a turtle in the desert. Even the energetic Matthew and Ted had decided to conserve their energy for more important tasks. Stephen, who was burning cruelly under the sun like vulnerable ice cream, wiped his brow with the back of his hand and asked skeptically with curiosity, "How are yah standing this?"
The brunette simply grinned mischievously and pointed to his ivory white lightweight jacket to explain easily, "Oh, I bought this air-conditioned jacket straight from Japan. Keeps me cool for eleven hours without stop and only cost 200 bucks. Awesome, right?"
The men contemplated robbing that nifty coat right then and there in the middle of bright daylight to soothe their parched skin. Hennigan realized this immediately as they took on the expression of a pack of ravenous starving wolves and quickly scurried away at a faster pace to protect his precious coat. They'd have to beat him up to pry the costly coat out of his hands and with his crafty flexibility, would flee the scene like a rabbit seizing another day of life- or in his case, fancy attire.
"Stephen, I have an umbrella you can borrow to keep the sun away" Samantha piped up helpfully as she reached into that endless black handbag of hers to pull out a small extendable yellow umbrella. She knew firsthand how painful sunburns could be since her skin never tanned underneath the sun, retaining only red blotches and peeling skin rather than the attractive summer bronze. A white umbrella with painted sakura petals protected Nattie and her from harmful rays since Samantha's mother always told her to carry one during a hot or rainy day. She carried an extra just in case and Stephen was more than happy to accept, gratefully thanking her as he opened the yellow umbrella. A second later, however, he mentally winced in horror when it fully opened to unveil its design.
"Oh man, your hair clashes so badly" Ted laughed giddily as the bright yellow umbrella unveiled a pretty sunflower located in its center. If it wasn't feminine enough, the bright yellow color surely attracted attention to the redheaded wrestler walking through the green pastures. Stephen frowned to the blonde's rambunctious laughter, disregarding the jokes because his skin was the priority but rolled his eyes when he heard from behind, "Hey, Sunflower McDonald, share the umbrella wealth."
"Well, I think he looks dashing- like a respectable countryside man going out to a rural store to buy food" Samantha defended with an upturned nose to Ted's insult and patted Stephen's back to encourage him to use it because health came first, not pride. Randy held back a snicker from up ahead as he imagined an old-fashionably dressed Stephen walking down a dusty road towards the town store to buy grain. . .he really had to stop watching black-and-white films. He blamed the humorous image on the sun as he baked like a pita chip underneath its intense gaze and wished for sudden cloud cover but it was summer- a futile hope.
Stephen's fair cheeks darkened more than they already were with its cherry hue and Samantha empathized by waving her hand at Ted dismissively, "Ignore him, he's just jealous he'll resemble a wrinkly tomato by the day's end."
"Tch! At least I'm hot, right, Nattie?" Ted scoffed haughtily to defend his manly pride and ruggedly handsome good looks from all incoming attackers, crossing his arms to flash everyone a charismatic white smile. Internally, though, he hoped that he wouldn't get awful tan lines from the sunglasses because he had absolutely no idea how long they would be walking. He'd need some serious makeup coverage before a show because appearing like he'd been severely pepper sprayed would draw attention from the crowds. Oh, how he wished he'd brought a cap or a tub of vanilla ice cream or strawberry gelato to pig out on.
Nattie simply gazed at them through half-lidded eyes as she'd discovered new places on her body that could sweat. She wished she could banish those previously unknown spots and yearned for a cold refreshing shower to bring back the sensation of cleanliness. Also, keeping the heat at bay would've been wonderful. She wasn't in the mood to pump Ted's ego to hot balloon heights but couldn't help herself from chiding smartly, "My man blasts you both clear out of the water."
"Ouch! Go, Nat" Randy laughed boisterously to the comeback and reached out for a friendly fist bump which Nattie returned with a wide grin. Of course, the two just had to join in an unholy union against him; frankly, Ted had expected Mike or Hennigan to be the sidekick.
The group resumed their exodus towards Florence, dragging their luggage under the hot sun for who knows how many tedious hours on foot but lo and behold, they found-
"A place to stay!" Matthew declared joyfully in thankful relief as a solitary dirt road led east into the green countryside, away from the main highway for weary travelers. The thin road led deeply into the area with no building in sight as flat pastures and sparse trees covered the land in a perfect Tuscany setting, mounds and hills discernible in the distance. The green sign bolted into the bare earth was in Italian but he'd figured out simple broken words from his handy pocket dictionary and Randy nodded in agreement as he was the only one in group to grasp the language (except Samantha but she was having a hard enough time swatting flies off her damp skin).
Randy ran a hand over his hot scalp as he studied the sign, his skin tingling uncomfortably with the ongoing heat and knew they needed a resting spot soon. They couldn't keep walking for hours on end without stopping and their water supply would eventually run out, leading him to suggest logically, "We can get help from there and stay the night if we have to since we're hours away. The evening isn't far off so better to be there than out here, right?"
Ted was skeptically reluctant stay anywhere that didn't have yelp reviews, especially in the middle of nowhere, and frowned to point out in suspicious rebuttal, "A place this far out on a highway? I've seen tons of scary movies that start out like this and Ted DiBiase is not about to disappear under mysterious circumstances."
"I think your entire existence is a mysterious circumstance" Hennigan chuckled as he quieted Ted's sudden paranoia, stirring laughter from the group since the blond did have quite the rampant imagination. Sometimes, he could actually fart out decent storylines for the franchise to stir laughs or believable disputes but his lack of experience kept him out of the loop. That is, until YouTube was invented and no restraints held him from unleashing his creativity. Ted simply mocked their laughing since being stranded in an unknown inn sent his safety radar off the chart and wasn't looking forward to that stop but what else could he do? It was either that or roast in the sun like a delicious rotisserie chicken.
Hennigan looked down the empty dirt road as recent car tracks were present in the manmade path, deciding to take a chance at a place that would have a shower, and asked for their input, "You guys think it's a good idea? I'd rather be in a house rather than this sun."
A unanimous agreement (after Ted was slapped into it) echoed through the relieved group and the matter was settled. Until. . .
"I'm gonna head north on the road, see if I can find a gas station" Cena suggested to the group as he placed a hand over his eyes to shield them from the glaring sun, facing north to pinpoint any buildings in the distance. Now that everyone had found a temporary shelter, he could head onwards to find someone with a tow truck or a taxi. His idea, however, didn't blow over very well with the group, especially for those who had become lost in a particular vineyard yesterday after hearing such famous words.
Nattie stomped her foot furiously against the grass, growling to the fact that she hadn't picked up loose dirt to emphasize her fierce protest and pointed out sharply, "Did we not tell you what happened to Mike and his amazingly stupid idea?"
"In my defense, I was found. . .later that night" the blond man stated prudishly with crossed arms of defiance since he'd landed himself in a situation way over his head and could've ended becoming a human carcass for hungry crows to pick at. Nattie didn't hesitate to yank her phone from her purse, turning it on to show everyone the humiliating picture of a sobbing Mike with grape tear stains on his cheeks as she scolded Cena that this would be him within a few hours. Ted didn't hesitate to guffaw like a madman since the spotlight wasn't on him anymore and Mike scoffed to the side in dismissal as he stated tightly, "I was still found. Safe and alive, okay?"
Stephen directed a deadpan stare towards him because that was total horse crap because his profuse bawling had brought him rescue in the early evening, not the uncanny survival skills he'd claimed to have. Mike would never admit his mission had been a failure from the very beginning but Stephen didn't hesitate to state knowingly, "Along with sobbing like a newborn galya."
Everyone blinked to the unknown word, the joke lost to the wind, and the redhead sighed in dismay towards the clear blue sky. Apparently, his humor would never be understood in the states and he translated the word for them to understand with a defeated tone, "A wee baby. Does nobody know Irish slang?"
"We're Americans, we speak American" Ted declared fanatically with a stiff nod to show English was enough but every US born person there sighed in embarrassed disappointment to his ethnocentricity. Randy didn't hesitate to smack him over the head for the idiotic comment that could've been taken out of context if the speaker wasn't Ted (who was as serious as a laughing hyena on a normal day). The blond merely pushed him back to scramble to another safer spot across the clearing to be free of the man's grasp and calmly tidied his disheveled short hair; he'd put pepper in Randy's wrestling trunks later anyway.
"It's called English and you certainly didn't invent it" Hennigan stated sharply to make sure he didn't ruin their image as a people because they were already seen like selfish money spenders elsewhere. He blamed it on the idiotic reality TV media because it was all that covered the air waves and wished the talentless hacks would be washed down the toilet and stop embarrassing the country. Of course, he was in the media spotlight as well but he did by pushing his physical limitations to the limit inside a wrestling ring.
"Here's a way to bridge the gap by learning: Stephen, what's a phrase for Ted?" Randy asked with a mischievous grin to turn the tables on the blond and the redhead laughed aloud to his suggestion. Hmm, there were some rather colorful words that matched the eccentric DiBiase but with two ladies present, he decided not to use such crude language. Ted merely mocked the two by utilizing his hand as a puppet to imitate their laughter but it didn't have the effect he wanted as nobody paid attention. Man, where was his DiBiase posse when he needed a ride to Florence?
"He's as thick as a brick" the Irishman smirked with satisfaction to the plain phrase and the others in the group agreed unanimously, their lips shaping into o's of understanding. Well, everyone but Ted, who was the butt of everyone's joke once more but if it kept everyone happy and not running around like chickens with their heads cut off, why not? He was there to keep the masses entertained and not flouncing into a mad panic.
The group continued to speak about John's crackpot plan until Ted spoke up from his solitary spot across the clearing, a light hint of his southern accent mixing into the air when he demanded, "No one's gonna tell me what it means?"
When silence and the rumbling of car engines passing by followed his request, he jabbed an index finger towards everyone accusingly and blurted indignantly, "Fine, but don't come crawling to me when you need conversions for the US metric system."
Samantha was about to question how his brain worked because the last thing she'd expected as retaliation was that but Randy raised his hand to silence her words. The less attention they paid to Ted, the less he would behave outrageously; like an annoying yipping dog within a neighbor's yard. He shook his head to dissuade her from any more interactions with Ted for the next five minutes by stating clearly, "Sam, don't. . .just don't. Save your brain from unwanted pain and ignore him."
"Look, I'm gonna go to the nearest station to see if I can get a tow truck for this and if not, I'll call for a car ride" John explained carefully about the quick details in his mind towards the rescue plan but everybody else was rather anxious to keep him with them. Samantha was at the forefront because if anything happened to him, she'd pay the consequences due to the job requirements and she did not want that on her working record. She could already imagine the embarrassing question 'you lost one of our most popular wrestlers in the middle of a foreign highway?' and it didn't have a pretty outcome. He didn't want to worry his colleagues by disappearing into the unknown (he wouldn't make Mike's mistake) and fished out his cell phone from his jean pocket, displaying it as he reassured calmly, "I have my phone with me in case of anything so no worry there, I won't become lost in the unknown."
"Do yah have a signal?" Stephen asked carefully with an expression befitting a stern father because he was not going to be playing an old fashioned telephone pole again and wanted to prevent the same for others. Samantha subconsciously rubbed her arms in reminder to the prickly bushes that left her with hairline scratches and crossed them over her chest nervously when she realized her actions. John nodded vehemently since long distance walking was no biggie for him, especially with food and water on hand, and showed everyone the little black bars on his phone to confirm it.
Samantha tried one last time to dissuade him from undertaking such a walk during a hot day where heatstroke probability was high and hungry animals were lurking about. She might have escaped seeing Mike devoured by hungry coyotes but the new stubborn head of the group that wanted to break free would be walking closer to being munched on as dinner. Using her hands as props to point out every danger around them, she stated matter-of-factly, "It's dangerous on a highway, John. The temperature, wild animals, cars, people could kidnap you-"
He raised his left eyebrow on that one, using his hand to outline his muscular figure to point out his unique size as a wrestler and her lips shifted into a defeated frown. His height and weight would pretty much throw any average sized human being over a car if such a situation occurred and even then, he'd still have enough power to run off to find help. There was no way he would be picked as a kidnapping victim due to him lacking vulnerability so unless they carried tranquilizers in a dart gun, he'd be fine. Samantha relented to his reasoning since her own strength would fail at keeping him at bay and more likely, be dragged along unwillingly for the ride.
Throwing her arms up in defeat, she shook her head to his stubbornness and dug into her purse to pull out an extra water bottle and handed it over to her friend to make sure he wouldn't run out. The least she could do was keep him hydrated and shuffled her feet over the grass with worry, mumbling under her breath to gently scold, "Fine. Dehydration is a major concern at this hour of the day, buddy!"
"I have enough water now so there's no problem and keep my luggage safe, will ya?" he reassured the woman with his own request since he couldn't lug any extra weight around if he wanted to make it safely to a gas station or rest stop. She nodded with easy agreement since his luggage was private property and with it now under her care, retrieved a small black lock from within the inner pockets of her purse. Everyone began to wonder whether they were now traveling with Mary Poppins since almost anything seemed to materialize within that black tote of hers and yet it didn't drag down her right shoulder whenever she walked.
She leaned down to snap it over the holes within the pulling tabs of the zipper in his rolling suitcase while Matthew took his duffel bag with a friendly farewell. Ted scoffed to the weak protection used since he preferred combination locks on his to thwart thieves and crossed his arms to state haughtily with an upturned nose, "Pssh! Like that's gonna stop me."
The group seriously considered whether to put Ted in behavioral or cognitive therapy for his kleptomania.
"Be careful, man" Randy said firmly as the unofficial leader of their small group, clasping the man's shoulder before allowing him to leave the group on his own. He had no idea why they placed him in charge but with the other candidates being of eccentric and naïve minds, it seemed fair because he wouldn't lead them to death or misfortune.
"Is anyone else getting the idea of taking a photo of John and photoshopping it to 'The Walking Dead' poster?" Mike asked aloud with curiosity as his mind got a hankering to snap a picture and edit out the traffic since the fields were perfect for the shot. He blamed the sun for mixing his logic with the sci-fi world and reminded himself to watch reruns of Breaking Bad to break him from the horror genre cycle he was on. The women sighed in disapproval to his choice of show for such a photo while the others said nothing. . .but Mike still used his phone to take the shot for future tinkering.
A minute didn't pass by before Ted claimed John's suitcase as his own, pulling it away from Samantha's unsuspecting eyes as she'd been watching the road intensely with the others. With a clever grin fit for a crafty fox, he rolled it towards his own luggage across the field while declaring victoriously, "Dibs on his stuff."
The resounding beating from the men on Ted's head didn't faze the two women as they grabbed their luggage to resume the walk down the dirt path, huddling under the white umbrella. Nattie was certain that they were quite the spectacle on the public road as five grown men robbed another blind from his stolen goods but she was too hot to care about it. Her boyfriend would be reaching Florence far before she would so he'd better have the bed ready when she arrived because she was ready to hibernate like a bear with the AC fully blasting on the cold setting.
"Well, at least we found our inn for the day" Samantha piped up to keep the group's spirits high as they took the lead and clapped her hands to bring a little pep into them. Her friend could only mumble inaudibly as she held the umbrella, pushing back stray locks of blond hair from her perspiring forehead and Samantha encouraged her dwindling energy, "Let's go check-in!"
Ted managed to lug his two suitcases to the mysterious place despite having half of the rolling wheels broken as a special reward for trying to steal John's property. Whatever, a shopping spree to the mall or swap meet would fix it. The area contained trees with decent canopies that provided exceptional shade for the weary travelers, who had sighed gratefully when the sun no longer baked their skin. His blue eyes widened fearfully, however, when he gazed upon the perfectly trimmed green lawn surrounding a two-story Tuscan style home and he grasped Nattie's arms to waver with paranoia, "Creepy smiling dwarves! The worst of all garden decorations. They're probably hiding bodies under them, using them as decoys to hide the ugly truth. I've seen enough films to know this is bad, Nattie."
"Everybody uses lawn ornaments" she stated stiffly to his insane mistrust over the cartoonish dwarves that decorated the edges of the beautiful golden colored home as a brown wooden fence bordered the property. If anything, it seemed like a quaint rural inn rather than Ted's ludicrous murder house; she could've humored him but was too exhausted to do so. The gate was open to await visitors but Ted eyed the happy gnomes that held axes or pipes in their pudgy fingers while wooden birds decorated the lawn for extra coziness. He blamed his irrational fear on the creepy ass dwarves his neighbors owned during his childhood because since then, he could never look at one without feeling a chill down his spine. It also hadn't helped that they faced his bedroom at all hours and the plastered inhumane smiles taunted him during stormy nights. Of course, he'd never tell anyone about that.
Randy shook his head to Ted's asinine opinion because although they were a bit ugly, it didn't mean they held ulterior menacing motives. The blond man latched onto Nattie for protection as he took on the posture of a video game soldier out on a recon mission and Randy sighed to bark sharply, "You've been watching too many scary movies, you're a grown ass man. Take charge, DiBiase."
"Nah, I prefer to live, thank you," was Ted's cheeky reply as he stuck next to an irate Nattie that was ready to beat him over the head with Samantha's open umbrella. Only he could find the most unbelievable notions for innocent everyday items or situations.
Nonetheless, they kept their senses about them as they entered unknown private land and tried to catch a glimpse of the proprietors. They didn't want to be caught as trespassers since noise lacked in the field, birds chirping in the background, and walked through the nicely decorated grass (except for Ted, who found the dwarves eerie). Matthew wanted to reach out to touch one of the wooden birds but Mike kept him moving forward to stay as a cohesive unit and not appear impolite by touching other's private property. The group reached the black painted wooden porch, the wood creaking under the weight of the men due to their combined weight and they scattered to different corners before the unthinkable happened. Leaving a gaping hole in someone's porch was not a nice way to receive welcome into their home.
Samantha stopped in front of the door, turning around to inform them carefully, "Okay, Randy, Mike, and I will take care of checking in while the rest of you take on the features of innocent babes and not the door breaking wrestlers you are. This is our only refuge from the sun so," she flashed them an outrageously wide smile and piped up, "big captivating smiles, people."
"I'm not a randomly smiling type" Randy began slowly with great reluctance since he was rather on the calm and serene side most of the time. He could get by with a sincere or small smile because faking niceties wasn't in his personality; he was direct and that wasn't going to change.
Samantha was ready to throw her hands into the air with the next stubborn head in the group as her mind shouted frantically, 'What're you doing to me, Randy? I expect you to be the main guy on board here!'
"We tumbled through a van during your road rage euphoria so you will smile and you'll like it because I need air conditioning" Nattie ordered firmly like a mama bear because when the bare necessities were barred from Natalie Neidhart, she'd plow her way through anything to attain them. Samantha merely stared at the two with sheepish awe as they were locked in a short staring contest and hoped that they wouldn't be discovered at that precise moment. Randy backed down from his stance since arguing with Nattie would lead nowhere and they really did need shelter, flashing a manic smile to show his surrender. She reared back in surprise to the fearsome expression, seeing no innocent twinkle in his eyes and quickly reprimanded with recoiling lips, "Ew, no. Tone it down like a kid at a birthday party, not Nicholson's 'here's Johnny' smile."
Ted grinned manically to the idea that bloomed from her comment and suggested eagerly, "Hey, we should go to that Colorado hotel and recreate-"
Samantha rang the doorbell to cut off the remainder of his words but nobody answered as they waited with the plastered expression of a happy perky group, trying again a few seconds later. When nobody answered for the third time, Ted muttered something about 'loose wandering murderers' under his breath but Samantha twisted the metal knob to find it surprisingly open. She wasn't about to give Ted further ammunition by lingering outside and they stepped into a cozy home that was decorated with antique furniture, chairs of dark wood occupying the entrance space. Chocolate hued couches were present in the living room, adjacently located to the left as a glass coffee table held magazines and a stairway lied on the right side which led to the second floor. A large desk in the center of the entrance area showed them its first occupant of the home as an elderly woman scribbled into a ledger, catching Samantha's attention and she greeted politely, "Buon pomeriggio, signora." (Good afternoon, ma'am)
No response.
The petite lady did nothing nor showed sign of acknowledging their presence, causing Samantha to blink in surprise since their shuffling feet had certainly made noise. Ted shook his head as they were completely ignored and leaned over to tell them quietly, "I'm telling you guys-"
A sharp hush from Randy quieted him instantly and Samantha strolled up to the desk, surprising the smaller elderly woman. Her petite hand flew to her chest in surprise, round black rimmed glasses covering her brown eyes and her snow white hair stamped her with the grandmother title as Samantha smiled amicably in greeting. However, the dark-haired woman was taken aback when the sweet looking owner smiled kindly but used the most least expected voice, yelling out cheerfully, "Benvenuto!"
The entire group tried not to yelp from the high pitched tone since they'd expected the little woman in the plain cerulean dress to speak softly but stereotypes had been thrown out the window. Besides the lack of decent hearing, the owner held a friendly demeanor rather than being hasty and Samantha returned the greeting while apologizing about their arrival without appointment. The elderly lady blinked with confusion and raised her finger to gently request- or in her current case- shout out, "Che cosa? Io non ti sento!" (what? I cannot hear you!)
"Speak up, Sam" Ted murmured pitifully as his ears began to ring painfully and tried to blend towards the back of the group but he wasn't able to bypass Stephen and Matthew, who blocked the path to preserve their own hearing. His brow furrowed to being denied temporary sanctuary and he muttered for confirmation with a glum pout, "This is because of that Ronald McDonald joke and leaving Herbie, isn't it?"
Samantha shouted out her questions about room and board, being told that rooms could be shared or kept singularly for the night as space was definitely available. Her voice wasn't made for constant yelling or hearing loud noises (she carried ear plugs everywhere due to her close proximity to the live stage) since people her age were advised to protect their hearing and she tried her best. Or maybe her hearing was just sensitive, she never really asked a doctor about that either. Randy took over when her throat became dry since his voice was naturally made for it and his deep timbre strengthened the sound. Needless to say, they carried a conversation much easier with Randy at the helm while Samantha nursed her water bottle full of warm water; it was pretty bad in taste.
Everybody took their turns signing the guestbook for quick registration but Stephen's turn brought a fat gray cat onto the table, its furry body leaning against his pale hand for a pat as he tried to write. His azure eyes widened slightly to the sight of the animal and a gentle nudge did absolutely nothing to budge it aside. Quickly, he wrote a sloppy printed name that appeared more like 'Siepnen Tarrelly' and sighed with disappointment towards the scribbly penmanship, "That's the most Ah can do."
He stifled a sneeze behind both hands since cat fur was one of his allergies, quickly leaving the table to return to the others before a sneeze attack occurred. It was a shame that he couldn't touch the friendly animal but nature had decided to ban him from nearing one without sneezing or breaking out in red rashes.
"Insieme? One room?" the old lady asked loudly for clarification and Samantha nodded hastily since they were pretty pooped from the long walk and too sunburned to care about reservations. The extra incentive was simply escaping the loud voices for a few minutes to relieve their abused eardrums. Plus, with cash only, they managed to afford a public room for the night and hoped everyone would fit. The group was led by the kind little lady to the largest room towards the back of the home, their footsteps heavy as they trudged while decreasing their steps to make sure nobody trampled anybody behind her.
Her hand jiggled the doorknob to pop open the wooden door to reveal a room containing several wooden bunk beds as a patio window overlooked the rear of the property, a large barn outlined in the near distance as sunlight filtered into the room. Ted quickly ran to occupy the top bunk closest to the door where he had closer access to the bathroom (wherever it was) and wouldn't be hacked to bits in case someone climbed through the window. The property owner, kindly named Claudia, merely offered words of welcome and closed the door behind her to return to her other duties around the house.
"It's a. . .we're in a hostel" Randy stated listlessly to the laidback ambience throughout the room as beds and a random coffee table were the furniture. A chair would've been nice for him since he was a bottom bunker and didn't want to be shrouded in darkness when night arrived. Stranded in the middle of a road between Florence and Rome, they were the only customers from what he could see since the second level had yet to be explored. Throwing his black suitcase onto the blue bedspread, he turned to their little travel guide as she stuffed a fat suitcase under the bed with a quick kick of her left foot and chided gently, "Samantha, we need to get you some travel and touring classes."
"Inn, hostel, whatever- it's cheap" Mike muttered tiredly since a cold dank cave would be adequate at that point, placing his luggage down on the floor and picked a bottom bunk across from Ted. He didn't want to be riddled with chocolate wrappers like any bunk mate of Ted's inside a tour bus or on a plane, remembering Randy's peanut covered lap. The last time somebody chose to sleep beside the blond during their darkest hour, Cody Runnels almost choked on a wrapper that had fallen into his open mouth during inhalation in his sleep.
"So I should just throw out my broadcast journalism, communications, and public relations degrees?" Samantha teased the dark-haired wrestler with an impish smile and imitated ripping her beloved hard earned degrees with a tearing sound. Ted blinked with bewilderment to the multiple titles and she winced at the sudden spotlight, murmuring meekly as she tapped her fingers together, "My parents enrolled me in a high school where college credit classes were half of the curriculum. It helped me to finish faster. . .I was nerdy, okay?"
Pointing to her handy tote bag dangling by her side, she pointed out quickly in her defense about the crappy situation, "They screwed up the car, not me, so there's no way we're doing business again. This recent budget cutting is starting to hurt-"
"That's one way of putting it" Stephen interrupted from his spot next to the wall near the door as he gazed into a hanging mirror to assess any changes to his skin. Ugh, the only places not tinted red were his chin and eye area. There was no question that he was going to need concealing makeup to hide the red blotches from the public and hoped no further blood vessels decided to surface to cause further dermatological mayhem. Well, at least he was out of the sun's harmful rays now.
Nattie and Samantha picked one bunk to themselves with Samantha taking the top for business matters with her laptop while Nattie desired the shade like a bat. Samantha kneeled down to open her smallest carry-on suitcase to pull out her laptop to begin working to fix any problems with the scheduling, the situation calling for another update to her superiors since abandoning the van had been the last heads up. Nattie muffled an amused laugh when Samantha fell back from her own strength at yanking the laptop out, her sandaled feet and laptop sticking into the air as she resembled a possum playing dead. Samantha joined her laughter as she stood up to place it on top of the bed for safekeeping, wiping the back of her jeans in case she picked up dust.
Randy lucked out by picking the only bed available in the room as it faced the patio window but when he bent down to sit on it, a dull thunk echoed throughout the room as the mattress was anything but soft. The sound drew everyone's attention since seeing Randy Orton bounce back up like flubber with a frown on his face as he rubbed his tailbone was enough to warrant a curious glance. They tried not to laugh aloud when he demanded immediately with distaste, "What the hell is this? Cardboard?"
"I'm telling you, man, it has 'Hostel' written all over it. . .although they had comfy beds" Ted warned them with an eerie voice as he eyed the ceiling suspiciously from his bed and plopped back down on his stomach to relax. He could utter his nonsensical jokes from his bed, which was thankfully soft and plush, as he relaxed away his exhaustion. Matthew simply hurled the popular foam pillow across the room to nudge Ted on his ribs, triggering his ticklish spot immediately in which he snatched the pillow to prevent anyone catching his physical vulnerabilities. He jabbed his little white pillow towards everyone in the room and stated firmly to hide his true identity, "From now on, I'm a proud Canadian from Saskatchewan named Alex Lavertue."
"Please, don't bring shame to my country" Nattie sighed with feigned disappointment to the idea of Ted holding her country's flag, shuddering against the bed to the horrible mental image. The male wrestler simply shook a fisted arm for a silent scolding from his end, laughing into the pillow for her remark and she returned it since creating personas could be quite easy.
Stephen exclaimed in alarm when a fat brown cat practically flew at him from his bottom bunk, cursing in Gaelic when the animal scurried off to find refuge elsewhere. What was with the felines of the household suddenly following his every step? If he wasn't allergic to the pets, he would've easily patted them on the head to bestow affection but that wasn't possible. He sighed softly with a small frown when he discovered his bedspread was covered in cat hair from the lounging animal and tore it off the bed to place it onto the floor. Needing to wash off any cat hair on his clothing and refresh his stinging skin, he kindly asked for Samantha's help, "Sam, could yah do meh a favor and ask them where the bathroom is? Ah need a shower."
Samantha shot him a friendly smile since all (sane) requests would be accepted and answered courteously, "No problem. That means Nattie and I have dibs on the bathroom after you."
The other men groaned instantly to having the first bathroom slot robbed since they were all sweaty and exhausted so waiting was not ideal for any of them.
"You can't share. . .or can you?" Ted asked slowly with curiosity as a lecherous smile crept onto his lips, demanding clarification.
Both women stared at him with mortification but he quickly waved his hand to dismiss it, not willing to get himself into trouble with them or his wife for his joking. Nattie shook her head since the blond allowed everything to roll off his back and let him have his fun as the jokester of their group. Stephen and Samantha left to find the owner before Ted decided to dig himself into a deeper ditch as Stephen eyed every inch of the house for furry creatures. They found the little old lady sitting on the brown couch in the living room as she knitted something in a maroon hue, her plump cats lying on either side. Stephen froze immediately to the serene sight as one touch would bring a sneezing frenzy (even hives) and leaned down to whisper warily from behind, "Ah'm allergic."
"No problem" she assured calmly as she took on the role of a bodyguard, knowing the sight must've been humorous for a woman her size to defend Stephen from cats. Unfortunately, her allergens were dust so it was a futile battle but this, she could at least do. . .especially when he resembled a sunburned porcelain doll. She called for her attention but the woman kept knitting without noticing them, humming a tune to entertain herself and the idle cats. Samantha and Stephen exchanged an awkward stare and she took a deep breath to prepare her voice, speaking louder with each second, "Ma'am? Signora? Excuse me? Mi escusi?"
The loudest yell in her lungs finally caught the old lady's attention and Samantha leaned against Stephen to pant since she wasn't used to speaking loudly, especially against the elderly. He steadied her with a supportive hand to the shoulder and she uttered a private thank you before clearing her throat to call out again with a friendly smile, "Il bagno?" (the bathroom?)
The matronly Claudia placed her knitting down on the couch (Stephen mentally winced to anyone that accidentally sat down) and stood up slowly to lead them towards the second level. Her frail fingers pointed to the stairwell as she explained to Samantha that two bathrooms were separated for both women and men, which they were welcome to use as much as they needed since they were the only guests. The wooden stairs creaked under Stephen's weight as he ascended behind the two, receiving puzzled looks from the women and Stephen coughed uncomfortably into his right hand to explain modestly, "Eh, people were smaller and lighter decades ago."
She translated it to the old woman to pass along the subtle joke and a small chuckle left her lips as Stephen tried to lower the red tinting his ears. There was nothing else on his face that could be red after the long sun exposure. The two women were tiny compared to his height of 6'4 and the narrow stairway didn't help matters any as each step screeched like a rusty hinge. This mortifying experience sealed in the reminder to never enter two-story museums of antiquity or old houses because he'd more than likely cause the same event to occur.
From downstairs, Ted wondered what the horrible creaking noise overhead originated from because staying in a haunted house was not in his itinerary. True, it might be fun for the eccentric experience (who didn't love Ghostbusters?) but he didn't want to suffer a heart attack at the tender age of twenty-nine and shoved the thoughts out of his mind. Maybe it was a hungry raccoon trapped in a linen closet. Clutching his pillow underneath his cheek, he gazed through the back window and took notice of the blue afternoon sky blending into a muted blue-gray which would eventually tint with orange. He pondered on the whereabouts of his colleague, hoping a coyote hadn't decided to maul on his leg on the side of the road, and asked aloud with curiosity, "So, how do you think John's doin'?"
"You could just call" Mike stated simply as he decided to take a nap until it was time to be rescued or resume the walk north of the road when morning arrived. There was no way he was walking along a highway through the night or early dawn when dangerous folk or animals could be wandering about. Either way, he needed energy and snapped on his sleeping mask to snooze away despite the noise within the room.
Elsewhere on the main road. . .
"Don't worry, guys, I'm goin' to save the lot of ya" John declared aloud with determination between pants to boost his energy as he kept his steady jog north of the road. The flimsy backpack he'd brought along with food and extra water slapped against his back as he took on the running posture of a marathoner, drawing a few curious stares from passengers in cars. Who knew, maybe a few recognized him.
There was a decent amount of sunlight as he read four o'clock on his watch and hoped he was making good time in reaching a gas station. If they could get a tow truck out there to fix the van, then all would all right with the world and he wouldn't be in trouble by missing an appearance. He wasn't about to let down his fans by being stuck out alongside a highway but if that occurred, well, a quick video showing his dilemma would be sure to draw laughter.
"Ah! Leg cramp! Very bad leg cramp!"
He halted his run immediately and held the twitching hind muscle in his lower left leg, rubbing it quickly to bring back the normal sensation and drive away bothersome Charlie horses. Slamming his foot against the ground helped a bit by contracting the muscles and he slung the backpack off his shoulder to grin proudly, "It's a good thing I brought a banana."
Hey, you are what you eat.
Before he could take a bite out of his snack, his cell phone rang with a familiar clip from television, "Respect my authori-tah! Respect my authori-tah! Respect-"
It could only be from one person who found such hilarity within that one quote but Ted changed his ring tone about every week to suit his attitude. John preferred last week's 'DiBiase Posse' but nonetheless, answered with a distracted voice, "Yes, Ted? I'm running along a highway here."
His colleague's voice sounded both lethargic and sleepy over the line, "Give me an update, bro."
"Still alive and no sign of a gas station," were his simple words of an update since Ted usually spun the truth into an entire story, whether true or not, John would have no idea. He would find out the truth eventually since Randy put a stop to his wild theories and made him spit out the unembellished truth.
The group felt out of place being the only people at the inn/hostel, especially when Samantha and Matthew witnessed dinner being slaughtered out back in the farm area of the private land. Well, they had paid extra for a meal and discovered that Claudia's husband was a pretty good farmer. Plus, it was the order of life to be predator or prey, or be a vegetarian, but they couldn't help but feel pity for the poor hen. They didn't tell Ted for fear that he'd hit the road as a lone wolf and end up lost somewhere between Rome and Florence or knowing him, he'd travel all the way to France. When dinner was served on a nicely set table with glassware, Matthew and Samantha visibly paled to seeing the delicious golden hen on the table while everybody else salivated to it.
Everybody was on their best behavior, even Ted, but that was probably due to the scrumptious meal since food of any kind satiated the man like a newborn puppy. Stephen, however, was having serious issue with all of the home's cats as they seemed oddly attracted toward him and they weren't small in number. He'd even named a few during the short hours spent there: Babby, a black longhair kitten that almost everyone ran across; Muzzy, a brown shorthair that kept swiping at his shoes and mysteriously appeared to leap out at him (mostly in his bed); Spot, a ragamuffin that tended to follow him all over the place without stop; Ted, a brown Rex that kept meowing for attention in his presence like his current colleague, and. . .
Butterball, a golden-brown Chausie that had now jumped onto the table where he was eating and was proceeding to circle around his plate with a predatory gleam in its golden eyes. He stared at the feline with bewilderment to its daring nature, clearly asserting its authority to be on the table and Stephen couldn't help but feel like a toy. Would he ever be free for ten minutes without a cat entering his vicinity? Nattie couldn't help but preen from across the table as she sat opposite of him and smirked mischievously, "Someone's become their cat nip."
"Away with yeh" Stephen tried to shoo the cat with the gentlest voice in order not to offend anyone but the owners seemed oblivious to their wandering cats as they watched television in the living room. Again, both were pretty deaf to their conversations (even at the highest setting) so vision could've also been faulty at this point. Either way, he didn't want to risk it out of respect for the elderly couple but the cats really were starting to drive him insane with the constant meowing and skin contact. Fortunately, he didn't have to wait very long this time to see the animal make its departure.
The cat quickly left the table, after stealing the succulent hen leg off his china plate and dashing across the table to jump off towards the living room. Hennigan quickly covered his plate with his arms as the cat almost stepped into his dining spot and sighed in sweet relief that his meal remained in one piece. Unfortunately, the same couldn't be said for the redheaded man. Stephen clenched his fists in mortified rage that a cat of all creatures made off with his only dinner for the night and stabbed his roasted rosemary herb potatoes with his fork. Well, at least the potatoes were delicious. Still, how could he allow himself to be defeated by a cat? A second later brought him to cover his mouth instantly as he sneezed allergically to the recent cat visit, already feeling his nasal cavities congest to the allergen.
Samantha felt instant guilt for his trouble since she was meant to ensure their accommodations were decently comfortable throughout their journey, despite the budgeting paperwork, and stabbed her breast piece with her fork. She'd inadvertently caused the sunburns stinging his face and with a sympathetic smile, placed it on his half-empty plate while sitting next to him (by Nattie's crafty doing). Before he could object or say anything to the generous offer, she insisted kindly to dissuade any protests, "Your diet requires tons more protein than mine and Ted has a bunch of bologna sandwiches in his lunch bag. He might burn down a kitchen to cook food but he sure knows how to make one heck of a mean sandwich."
"So true, my 'wiches are ambrosia!" Ted agreed proudly with a mouthful of chewed food that caused everyone to wince at the unfavorable sight. Nattie grasped her cloth napkin to fling it at him to close his mouth, the bolus of food disappearing down his gullet to never return and she shook his head to his dinner behavior like an older sister. He tried to win her favor by unleashing the irresistible puppy eyes as his blue orbs boosted the power of the look but Nattie remained unfazed by it, simply aiming a deadpan expression daring him to continue. There was an immediate surrender on his part because he wasn't about to test her wrath during a delicious dinner and returned to nibbling on a fat juicy hen leg. Nothing beat a deliciously cooked home meal. . .great, now he felt homesick.
From the other side of the table, Stephen tried to persuade Samantha's choice to hand over her food by quickly refusing, "Sam-"
"You cannot reject a lady's gift, especially food, because it's yummy" she grinned smartly to clearly show she didn't accept returns and resumed eating her salad to show negotiations were now over. The romaine salad was pretty darn good with its vinaigrette so that would fill her stomach quite easily with the leftover potatoes and vegetables. Besides, seeing that poor hen killed really sucked the fun out of eating the animal. Stephen, on the other hand, smiled gratefully to the kind gesture because he was starving and leaned down to protect his new piece of chicken from any incoming cat barrages.
Five minutes didn't pass when another cat strolled by, a calico this time, just as Stephen reached for a fresh warm piece of bread in a basket and it brushed against an herb butter stick laid out for them. His face fell to the awful sight since everyone raved it was pretty scrumptious butter but it seemed his luck had run out for the day- or more accurately, since he'd arrived in Italy. Ted bit back a disgusted groan to seeing butter used as a scratching post and released it a second later since the old couple was hard of hearing. The wrestlers wasted no time in finishing their disrupted meal, wary of the new cat after seeing the last steal food, and took their drinks to go as they scattered to entertain themselves in their shared room.
Well, everyone except Ted, who was taught that dinner ended at the table despite numerous prowling felines and kept eating his meal in silence. When a black cat roamed by his feet, he kept a cautious eye on its fast reflexes but smiled amusingly, "Hey, how ya doin'?"
Elsewhere, a pudgy cat was hot on Stephen's trail as if he were catnip.
A/N: A super long chapter but I had fun with it, especially with Ted's irrational fear of innocent super smiley lawn gnomes. And poor Stephen, wishing to pet a cat but he can't for fear of an allergic reaction. We'll conclude their adventure in the inn next time as the group will eventually reach Florence to carry on in their trip and Samantha will finally summon her courage to ask Stephen on a date. I'll be changing the group by the next chapters to stay with the current rosters so stay tuned for that.
Thank you for sticking with my story and for my last chapter reviewers, I appreciate the feedback to build this story to your liking:
Skywhisper: I'm proud that I was able to make you laugh, that is my triumph with this story. I like channeling most of it through Ted since his YouTube channel about Dibiase Posse parties make me laugh.
Deathdaisy: Thanks so much for loving the story, I'm glad Samantha's likable as I try to make her an average person that tends to fall into mayhem with the wrestlers. I can't wait to put her in the chapter about the Pamplona bull run.
kakashisnumber1fangirl: Yes, humor keeps prevailing in this story and I hope this one tickled your funny bone.
Next Time: S, For Super-Samantha
Dawn arrived on the lonely road headed to Florence, the lost group of travelers wandering the empty roadside in the hopes of seeing one of their colleagues driving a car. They sorely needed rescue at this point, especially when cigarette butts, empty cans, and dirty diapers littered the road with their distinct unfavorable smells. Their group was too large for any passerby to take them to a nearby gas station so they stuck together like a group of meerkats. That and most cars thought they were a group of backpackers hiking in an early search for a hostel since an Irishman, a Canadian, and six Americans fit the qualifications.
They had stuck to the road for safety during the rest of the night to prevent becoming lost or mauled by wildlife. Ted had wailed in horror for a pretty good while when his foot entered a gaping hole of a road killed possum, lamenting the poor creature, but they kept moving. A mud covered Hennigan was more than ready to find a bathroom where he could wash the nasty grime off his body, the mud water already dry and caked. The bright lights from passing cars had reflected off Stephen's pale complexion many times and he was sure it had frightened a few drowsy children with the mistake of a rampant ghost on the highway.
"Isn't that a beautiful sight?" Samantha sighed softly with relief as the first rays of sunlight pierced the lilac-gray hue of dawn and began to bathe the land by bringing a new day. She couldn't wait for the sunlight this time, a horrible irony that wasn't lost to her as her cold skin yearned to bask in it. Her body was weary from the lack of sleep, her suitcases dragging behind her lethargically as she murmured quietly to encourage the other tired wrestlers, "We survived."
"I'd feel better if we could find a way home" Ted grumbled crankily as he shivered in his spot, hugging his sweater closely against his body but retrieved his phone from his pocket to snap a picture of the breaking day. With light bathing the highway now, everyone shut off their flashlights but Ted snapped a picture of Hennigan and Stephen. There was no way he could let an opportunity slide by to poke fun and quickly stuffed his phone into his pocket, shivering with chattering teeth to admit woefully, "I c-can't feel my fingers. Hey, Sam, Nattie, can you please keep me warm before I suffer h-hypothermia?"
The women were too cold to decline since he was being honest for once in his life and they were freezing themselves in the early morning. Who'd a thought morning could be so cold? Nattie drew Ted close by wrapping her right arm around his waist and he rested his arm across her and Samantha's shoulder to keep a good grip that would keep the cold at bay. The three huddled together cozily like baby cubs during the winter as they walked along together, leading the others to sigh in disbelief to their little plan. Randy didn't mind since he'd added numerous layers of sweaters and coats over the night to keep warm but his legs were now enduring drafts of cold wind that seeped underneath the end of his trousers.
"In our defense, you're covered in dry mud, John" Nattie told the brunette with a sheepish face to declining help since he resembled a swamp monster rather than a chiseled living statue. John merely sighed under his breath, cursing himself for forgetting to keep an eye on the road- a simple mistake that cost him both his appearance and a chance at warmth.
"Yeah, let's have a group huddle like sheep" Matthew piped up quickly since only Samantha and Nattie had kept close to keep warm while everyone else wandered the road like zombies. Mike wasn't ready hug him through a highway and quickly scooted over to Samantha to seize the empty space, settling in as the fourth baby bear to join the cozy group. Matthew wasn't about to be dissuaded because he certainly didn't want to die of hypothermia in the middle of a highway and tried to gain Stephen's approval on it by finishing, "Right? They're always cozy in bundles."
"Just because Ah'm from the Isle doesn't mean Ah've seen sheep my whole life" the redhead pointed out to scratch off that stereotype and the group looked to him for further deliberation, eager to learn about Irish culture. The roster held people of diverse cultures and most were always enthusiastic to learn about parts of the world they'd yet to see since wrestling tours would eventually lead them internationally (as they currently were). He blinked with surprise at seeing everyone's gazes turned towards him and crossed his arms to warm himself and kick himself for falling into his own verbal trap. Gritting his teeth as he tried to keep them from chattering, he avoided their gazes and reluctantly admitted, "All right, Ah saw a sheep once in a while during field trips in primary school."
"Don't forget your fat sheep at home" Ted reminded quickly and licked his dry lips as he fantasized about eating a warm meal within a room with a burning fireplace. Oh, how he wanted to be in a warm bed at this moment and imagined little plump sheep that could barely stand under their weight jumping over picket fences, exhaling longingly with hunger, "Oh man, I could imagine the delicious lamb chops they'd make, fat and succulent with a side of mashed potatoes-"
Stephen stopped walking to jam a finger towards Ted's face and ordered briskly to defend his innocent animals, "Stop talking about meh sheep-"
A sudden honk alerted the group and they turned to see a modern navy van on the opposite road, its turning signals flickering as it waited for traffic to clear to make an illegal U-turn. Thankfully, with dawn barely on the horizon, the road was empty so it didn't have long to wait as the group watched the approaching car intently with wariness. Ted hoped somebody had recognized them and decided to take pity on them, promising to shower them with a Dibiase Posse party if they weren't about to be kidnapped. Their uncertainty turned to rejoicing relief as they watched John make his triumphant return, the car rolling up to them as Anthony had tagged along in the passenger seat to help with the search. He waved his arm to the weary group in welcome, glad to see they were all right after being told of their dilemma, as he declared jovially, "We found you at last!"