AN: I'm not that happy to the response this fic is getting. It's currently doing almost as bad as my drabbles challenge, which is only 100 words each, which is sad. But oh well, I'm going to keep writing because of the few people that are actually reading this, you are my inspiration!

Enjoy the chapter :)

Disclaimer: I checked my mail today; surprisingly it didn't have the rights and ownership to The Hunger Games. (Okay, not very surprising.)

Summary: I, Primrose Mellark, suffer from a severe case of depression. Dying in the Hunger Games would be a relief, but I would never put my mother-the former Mockingjay-through that. But all of this changes when my brother Meeka gets reaped…

WARNINGS!: Cutting, suicidal thoughts.

Spoilers: None really.

Pairing: None!

Word count: 2200

Rating: T

Cathy Note: Thanks to my beta, PeetasAndHerondales, for being my beta and just plain awesome!

Chapter One: I'm going to die

I sit in the room the peacekeepers pushed me in and wait for my mother and father to visit me; they obviously went to my brother first; not that I mind. The door opens and I hear, "You have 3 minutes." And my father walks in. My father pats me on the back, "I'm proud of you Rose."

I tilt my head, "Why?"

My father smiles and looks around the room, "Because you volunteered so you could go in the arena with your brother; that's a very honorable thing to do."

I just look at him confused; this isn't like my father, but I assume he thinks that there's cameras around, "But dad… I'm not coming out."

My father frowns and nods, "I know, Rose; there is a possibility that neither you nor your brother are coming out. But you know how to use a bow, and basically any kind of weapon; the odds are in your favor."

"But Meeka doesn't." I say, barely audibly.

I can see tears in his eyes as I say this, "I know. I love you Rose, whatever happens, remember that."

I roll my eyes, "Yeah," he comes over to me and gives me a hug. I tense but manage to hug back.

He whispers in my ear, "Remember, I'll be waiting here for you when you come back,"

I wince at his words, but thankfully, the door opens, and he's gone. My mother comes in a minute later, looking furious. I apologize as soon as I see her, but I don't think she hears me, "I can't believe them!"

I tilt my head, "What are you talking about?"

My mother punches the wall, "Because you and Meeka are my children, they're not letting me or your father be mentors!"

This really doesn't surprise me; I just hug my mother, and we just stand there hugging and crying, until the peacekeeper sends her out, and with a last, "Goodbye, I love you," I'm left alone in the room. I try not to think about what's going to happen in the arena. My fingers brush over the razor blade that's in my pocket. Not here, the voice in my head says. I sigh and start pacing the room. I don't get any more visitors, which doesn't surprise me; I have no friends, and people think I'm a freak. After a while, I'm taken to the train; I go straight to my room, not looking at Meeka. I know he's mad at me, but surely he can understand that I couldn't let him go into the arena by himself?

I lock the door behind me, sink to the floor, and start to cry very hard. The shock is over; reality is setting in; I could lose my brother. I'm going to die. I'm finally going to die. I trace my fingers over the razorblade in my pocket once again. I take it out and role up the sleeve of my dress, revealing many scars and fresh cuts. I slash the razor against my wrist, once, twice, thrice, until my arm is numb and blood is everywhere. Happiness sets in at the feeling; it gives a relief that I can't describe. I don't know when I started feeling this way, it happened many years ago, and I don't know why. I started cutting when I was 12, the night before my first reaping. I was so scared to die, but then, after awhile, I realized that I actually wasn't afraid of death. I was afraid of life. Yes, I'm afraid of living. I'm afraid to let myself be happy, to find someone who loves me, and whom I love, to get old and have kids. Why would I bring children into this world when they could easily be reaped and have to kill or be killed? I know I sound like my mother did when she was a teenager, but she was right, she should have never had me, or Meeka. The Hunger Games should end again, but there would have to be another rebellion for that to happen, and look what happened there; too many people died.

I'm brought back to reality when I start getting dizzy; what would happen if a tribute committed suicide before they could be brought into the arena? I laugh as I wrap my arm up and get in bed. When Nymphadora knocks on my door to tell me it's suppertime, I tell her I'm not hungry, even though I am. I have to get used to hunger.

I drift off to sleep a few hours later, thinking about my mother and what's to come.

"Today is going to be a big, big day!" Nymphadora says, waking me out of my slumber. I groan and get dressed, going out to the table on the train.

"Morning Primrose," Alaric, a victor from District One, and our mentor, says, passing me a slice of toast. I nod and quietly eat while Meeka comes out of his room and Nymphadora goes over today's schedule, which consists of mostly strategy and food.

"Why did you do it?" Meeka asks out of nowhere. Nymphadora goes silent; I bet she wants that answer as much as Meeka does.

"I need to protect you," is all I say, and Meeka doesn't protest; he knows he relies on me as much as I do. I'm not saying my brother is weak and can't do anything for himself, but he isn't as strong and independent as most people his age.

We eat the rest of our meal in silence, and before I know it, we're talking about what to do in the arena. "Run as fast as you can into the forest. You need to find water; you'll die of dehydration quickly if you don't." Alaric says as we just nod and listen to what he says. It's pretty basic stuff; he goes over what plants are edible, which ones help tracker jacker stings and infection, what to do if we're badly hurt, and, most importantly, not to get caught up in the blood bath the first day. And don't mock the capitol with nightlock, unless you want a lot of people to die, I add in my mind.

Nightlock, that one little berry, could easily just kill me, and then I won't have to put my brother through the pain of having to kill me. Or I could just simply stab myself in the stomach or chest. I remember when I was twelve, I used to sneak into the forest and look for nightlock; if I got caught, I would have been whipped in the town square. Going into the forest is illegal after all, but so is skipping school, and I did that too. When else would I go into the forest without my mother or father knowing? I looked everywhere in the forest for that one little berry, but I could never find it. I'm not sure what I would have done if I did find it. I can't see myself eating them in the middle of the woods between District Eleven and District Thirteen; I'd never be found, or if I were, it would be by a bear or another hungry predator. No, I would bring them home with me, but then what? Sneak it into my food, or just take the berries themselves? I know I would definitely leave a note for my parents and Meeka; I know they would be so hurt if I chose to die like that. But if I find some in the arena, I have to eat them, because if not, Meeka will have to kill me, and I know he would kill himself first.

We arrive at the Capitol the next morning, and we're taken to our prep team right away to get ready for the opening ceremony. I'm stripped naked, waxed everywhere, plucked at, and whatever else my team thinks needs to be done for me to look beautiful. Then I meet my stylist, Finn. I've been told about what happened to my mother's stylist, Cinna, so many years ago, but I push that thought out of my mind. What are the chances that it'll happen to Finn?

"Hello, Primrose!" Finn says. I smile at him and wonder what ridiculous costume he's going to put me in. My mother still has one of her 'fire' dresses, and I think they're quite ridiculous. But then again, the tributes before my mother would dress in coal miner suits, and those were pretty stupid too. If I was a stylist, I would dress my tribute in a shiny black suit that glows on the bottom in a red ashy timber. I would dress them as coal itself, not a miner or fire. It's as if Finn read my mind when he asked, "Do you have any idea of what you should be dressed in?"

I was surprised at first; I didn't know that stylists took the suggestion of the tribute, but I quickly got over it and told him about my coal idea. He sounded delighted and rushed out of the room to go inform Meeka's stylist. Who knew something I suggested could actually be useful?

Finn and Meeka's stylist, who I found out was named Lily, worked on our costumes for the next three hours. Usually, they have the costumes already done the day of the ceremony, but I guess my suggestion was just that good, so they changed their minds. When it was finally done and I looked at myself in the mirror, I could see why. My face was make-up free except for a fit of foundation, and my dress, my dress was something else. It was all black, half length with red on the bottom, indicating flame, I suppose. Full sleeved, thank god, I would have hated to have to explain the scars and cuts to Finn, and it hugged my curves perfectly. But to top it all off, it was coated with a sparkling black coding that made me look like I was glowing.

"It's beautiful," I said, admiring Finn's work from the mirror. He just smiled and brought me to the carriages, where I was going to be with Meeka. Meeka was wearing almost the same outfit as me, other than he was wearing a black suit instead of a dress, but it had the same black coding; and he too looked like he was glowing. We waved and smiled at the audience as they screamed our names; the other tributes looked furious. All and all, I think we totally outdid our parents.

The anthem played, President Purcell said a few words, and we're sent to a building with many floors. Meeka and I, along with the tributes from District Three and thirteen got into this glass elevator and went up to our floors: three for District Three, twelve for us, and thirteen for District Thirteen. We got off the elevator and looked around. I was amazed; I've heard of stories of the Capitol, but I never thought it was going to be this magnificent. China, expensive wall hangings, pearl floors, and who knows what the walls were made of.

"This is amazing," Meeka said. His eyes were wide and looking around everywhere.

"I know we heard stories of this place, but I never thought it would be this extravagant," I said, looking around as well.

Meeka laughed, "You use weird words." At this, I also laughed and hugged my brother. "I'm afraid, Rose."

I frowned, "I know, but I'll be there too. I'll protect you, Meeka,"

Meeka shook his head, "That's what I'm afraid of;I know you're going to protect me, but it's going to cost you your life."

I hugged him tightly, "Don't think about that Meek; I'll be fine."

He shook his head, "You're going to die, Rose, both of us could die."

I couldn't argue with his logic, because really, he was right, we could both very well die, "I know. But one of us has to go back, for mum and dad, to show the Capitol that we're as strong as them."

Meeka nodded, "Goodnight, Rose,"

"Goodnight, Meeka," I replied as I watched him disappear into his room. I followed suit, going into my own room; I was actually quite exhausted after the long day, and tomorrow we started training. We would train for a week, have our interviews with whatever guy is hosting this year, and then be sent into the arena. I forbid myself to think about the arena, think about what might happen to Meeka, think about what will happen to me, and think about all of the people I'm going to have to kill. I've never killed anyone before, I've never even killed an animal, and I have no idea how I'm going to kill a human being. I fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow, which is strange; I usually stay awake for hours, but I guess today has been a big, big exhausting day.

AN2: I hope you liked it, if you're feeling generous I would love to hear what you thought in a review :)