Hello my dear readers! Thank you so much for the review and PM! You guys are fantastic and I love reading your thoughts and critiques! I went ahead and wrote Chapter 5 in Bella's POV. Some people had asked if Bella was trying to commit suicide and I really had to think about it. This is what I came up with! I hope you like it! Please let me know what you think!
All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer
It's been three weeks since my first trip to La Push. Every day is better than the last. I feel like me again! Well, a different me. A better me. A stronger me. My heart still hurts and I do long for Edward from time to time...but I'm okay. I'm moving on and I'm making friends and doing hobbies! Jake and his friend, Embry have been amazing. I adore them. They have been so kind and very comforting. They understand that I was deeply hurt by Edward and his family and they just want to see me smile again. I owe them so much. They've been my rock to lean on! They even taught me how to ride a motorcycle and got Mike Newton to leave me alone. I have to laugh at that memory. Poor Mike. He just didn't stand a chance with my two new "body guards." Embry and Jake can be quite intimidating when they want to be. I try to spend every free minute I get with them...So, here I am, driving to Jake's house. We're going cliff diving today. I'm terrified of heights, but Embry and Jake promised me that they will both jump with me. I'm scared, but really excited. Who would have thought that I would become such a daredevil? First the motorcycles and now this? What would Edward think of me now?
I pull up to Jake's house and turn off my truck and jump on out. Well, that's strange. Usually I'm surrounded by them before I can get out of my truck. I guess they didn't hear me? I go ahead and walk out to the garage, it's where we spend most mornings and the guys might have gotten caught up with a project. I poke my head inside, but the lights are out. Strange indeed. I turn around and walk over to the house and knock on the door. I expected Jake to open the door, but instead I got Billy.
"Hello Bella. Jake's not here." What?
"When will he be back? We had plans today." Billy is giving me his 'I know something, but I'm not going to tell you what it is' face. He gives me the same look every time a Cullen is brought up in conversations
"He won't be back anytime soon. I'm sorry Bella, but you should go now." What the heck!
"Where is he? Is he at Embry's? I can just go over there, you know."
"He's not there either. Just go home Bella." He just slammed the door in my face. Okay. This is getting really strange. I was just here yesterday and Jake didn't bother telling me he was leaving? What about Embry? Maybe he's home and he can tell me what's going on.
I run over to Embry's and knock on his front door. He opens it and looks completely taken off guard.
"Bella? What-what are you doing here?"
"I-I I came to see if Jake was here. I thought we were going to the cliffs today." He scratches his head and glances over his shoulder. Someone else is there. He clears his throat and looks me directly in the eyes.
"Bella, I don't know exactly how to tell you this, but we don't want to see you anymore." As his words settled into my mind and realize what he just said. I've heard these words before. Not the same exact words, but the same meaning behind them. My pulse started picking up and I feel myself start to shake. I can't look at Embry. He's saying something else, but I don't want to hear any more. I feel dizzy and the ground feels like there's an earthquake under my feet. Tears are pooling into my eyes. I can't breathe. I slowly turn around and take off. I run as fast as I can. I just want to get out of here. They don't want me. Just like Edward didn't want me. It's happening all over again. I hear Embry calling after me, but I can't listen to what he's try to say to me. He doesn't leave his house anyway. He's not running after me.
I jump into my truck and I look up and I can see Billy watching me through a window. He doesn't want me either. My dad's friend who watched me grow up. Even HE doesn't want me around. Soon Charlie won't want me either. I put my truck in reverse and start to drive home and that's when it hits me. Soon no one will want me. My mom, Phil, Angela. I can't take this anymore. I can't go through this again. Suddenly I know what to do. I swerve my truck around and step on the gas and before I know what's happening. I'm out of my truck and looking up at the cliffs. I was supposed to be here anyway. Just now, I'm alone and there's no one to help me. I'm determined though. I can do this. I pull my jacket off a lay it on my truck. I can't be that hard to jump off. I don't need Jake or Embry to help me. I'm going to do this for myself. This is probably the stupidest thing I have ever done, but this is something that I am going to do on my own. I have to lean on myself now. I will NOT go back to that sad girl I was just a few weeks ago. I smile to myself and take deep breath and make my way to the top of the cliff.
I kind of thought, I would have chickened out by now, but here I am, looking out into the ocean. It's peaceful up here. I feel like I can see forever far away. There's a light breeze and I feel...free. I take off my shoes and bracelets and rings and place them carefully on the ground. I will be back for them. I look out into the ocean one last time and jump.
This is the most exhilarating feeling. It's like I'm fly, not falling. I'm not even looking at the water, because something has caught my eye. There, on the shore line, I see something and I swear I just heard someone yelling 'No.' I don't have time to figure it out, because I hit the water. I was not anticipating how cold this water would be. It's like a million degrees below zero, but I don't really mind. I just let myself sink and sink. I wonder how much longer until I hit the bottom. I should be trying to get back to the surface, but I just don't want to. And then everything went black.