They had all pretty much decided that Jess's "model" friend was just another figment of her over-active imagination.

But here she was, just back from a European photo-shoot. Sitting across from them being gorgeous and terrifying. Breathing the same oxygen they were breathing. It appeared the wonders of living with Jess would, indeed, never cease.

She'd opted to stay in the living room with them, while Jess got dressed. The intent had been, Nick suspected, further interrogation and intimidation. But his roommates were acting so bizarre, you could tell she was regretting her choice.

Coach was all but visibly drooling, and Schmidt's douche-baggery was so over-the-top that the jar promised to be over-flowing soon.

The extreme awkwardness of the situation was finally broken when Cece flatly informed them that Jess was the best person she knew, and that if they let anything happen to her, she would come there and crazy-murder them. And then she went to help Jess finish getting dressed.

It seemed to take an inordinate amount of time, even by feminine standards. When the girls finally emerged, Nick blinked for a minute at the fact that they had switched clothes, and Jess was now wearing the little black dress that Cece had shown up in. Oh sure, Jess didn't quite fill it out the same way that Cece had. But she was really looking lovely, and Coach's "Woooow!" expressed what they were all thinking.

For a second or two she stood there looking shy and ladylike. Annnnnd, then she broke out some sort of busted club move. So...that was that. Back to Jess as "normal".

When she mentioned texting Peter to let him know she was on the way, Nick said, "Wait, have you been texting him?"

"Yeah...is that bad?"

He thought for a second and said, "No...it's nice." If Peter had been texting back and forth with her, maybe they actually had something good going. She was so excited about the date, so it was nice to think that maybe this guy was looking forward to it too.

Cece, apparently, still had her doubts. "Listen, I'm serious, the second you feel weird about anything, CALL ME, and I'll find an excuse to get you out of there!"

"Cece, relax, it's going to be fine...this guy is a friend of Schmidt's!"

Nick and Coach both made involuntary little sounds in their throats, but Cece's eyes had already widened at this revelation. She glared Schmidt down and said, "This is on you, frat boy. I'm holding you personally responsible if my friend comes home crying, and trust that I can find ways to make you regret your very existence."

"Why do people keep saying this to me?" Schmidt muttered.

Cece just ignored him, and ran Jess through a check list: "Phone? Phone charger? Breath mints? Protection? Mace?"

"All that, aaaAND my list of conversation starters!" Jess said, holding up a white square.

Cece snatched the raggedy piece of paper from Jess's hands, "Is this the same list you made before the 8th grade dance? 'Who's a better match for Princess Peach...Mario or Luigi?' JESS!"

"I figured that one out in '98...The more recent additions are towards the bottom, on the back!" Jess snatched her list back and stuffed it back in her purse. "Anyway..." she made one final twirl, "Everything good?"

Her three roommates gave her an approving thumbs up, and she said, "Ok, the longer I stand here, the more nervous I get. Let's DO this thing!"

"I'll walk you down," said Cece, but after opening the door for her BFF she held back long enough to direct a final meaningful glare in Schmidt's direction. She didn't say a thing, but that stare-down held more threat of evil than words ever could have.

When the door finally closed behind them, Coach visibly shuddered, and Nick asked, "Do we have any sage? Anyone know anything about smudging? I feel like a malevolent spirit just passed through this place."

"One, I'm going to have to ask you not to speak that way of the future Mrs. Schmidt, and TWO, gentlemen, muster your forces, we are a good 30 minutes behind schedule." Schmidt jumped from model-mode to wild-wild-west-mode seamlessly, striding purposefully towards the bathroom before stopping to reinforce, "Remember to forget everything I ever told you. Coach, no need to use your kitten-petting voice tonight, and Nick... try to slump a little. What am I saying, you're always slumping. But NO sucking in your gut. Do you hear me? Because I'm not sure you're taking me seriously. I need you to make me look good! Except...uh, except with the ugly girls. You can suck your gut in around the ugly girls. Okay? Okay! IT'S ON AND POPPIN'!"

Nick and Coach looked at one another and sighed in resignation. "I'm not dressing up for this thing, are you?"

"Hells no, man!"

But they were going.

Codes of friendship, and all that.