So yeah I had this conversation with the "Mysterious Japanese Man" about the right's to Naruto. Turns out he has it in his will for his son... I don't know if he has a son, mainly for a lack of intrest. I can't even spell the dudes name. So he's now to be known as "MJM" what I'm getting at is, I will kill his son and take the rights. But as for right now I do not own. FUCK YEAH, FIND A LONGER DISCLAIMER THAN THIS!
I had this conversation with myself last night how to top the first...how many chapters have I written 4? 5? but anyway I figured why not let you people decide some of the fun the Akatsuki members have.
Review with some good idea's for a funny situation and I put it in the story somehow. It may not be the next chapter but it will probably appear. And don't worry, I'll still throw in my shit alot of the time too.
Enjoy chapter 6 of the secret video files! Oh, and should I make another one of these after Itachi for any one else? REVIEW
Italics- someones talking on tv/camera
Normal- talking
Itachi was moving in a crouched position acrossed the living room of their new base with his camera raised. Kisame and Diedara right behind him. They stealthely and almost like ninja's infiltrated their enemies room.
"Ok" said Itachi with a hand sign so they could keep quiet. "What color?"
Kisame looked down at they're target and shrugged. "His face is like chalk and he's got the purple under the eye's. You should use that same shade so the opposite colors don't clash with those."
Itachi and Deidara stared at Kisame for a second then shook their heads.
"You gay?" asked Deidara. Kisame shot him a death glare that leaked killing intent. "No, I'm OCD! What about you? You sport the man thong like it's an everyday thing!"
"IT KEEPS THE JUNK IN PLACE!"
"YEAH OVER THE SIDES, SEPARATED, AND ALONE! LIKE IF YOU KEEP WEARING THEM!" screamed Kisame outloud. After he was done all 3 flinched expecting Orochimaru to wake up. Instead the white man just smiled and mumbled, "Sasuke...tight buns...Ultimate Sharingan...little boy mouth"
"Can we get this over with" asked Itachi. "What fucking color?"
"Red" said Deidara. Itachi handed the camera to Deidara and pulled out a red sharpie. "What should I draw?"
Quickly the camera was shoved into Kisame's arms and Deidara flew through hand signs indicating what he wanted drawn. After he was done Itachi almost collapsed from the lack of oxygen getting from his brain due to the laughing he was keeping in.
"Your not serious, he'd kill us!" said Kisame.
"It's perfect" said Itachi. He pulled the cap off the marker and started to draw on Orochimaru's face. After he was done, he put the cap back on. "It's a masterpiece!"
"This is better than explosions! A true work of art!" explaimed Deidara. Kisame shook his head, looked into the camera and mouthed "I'm sorry!"
--
Orochimaru woke up and stretched his arms over his head. He yawned a little and stood up.
"I feel like today's going to be a shitty day. I'll probably end up punching Kisame or something" he said quietly to himself. On the way to the door, he decided coffee was number one on the list of things to do this morning. He was about to walk past the living room when he heard 7 mouths roar with laughter. Orochimaru peered inside and saw his teammates watching something on the tv with Itachi's camera hooked up to it.
"Hey watcha guy's watching?" he asked as he walked in. All of their heads turned to him, eachone holding back laughter. Even Pein, who was always serious looked like he could be laughing enough to have a ramen noodle back through his nose.
"Nothing" Kisame quickly said, knowing the pain would be taken out on him. Orochimaru sat down on the arm of the couch and continued to watch. The video had just gotten to when the camera was on Deidara telling Itachi what to draw. Orochimaru who was still tired didn't catch all the signs. All he got was "Tongue...over..."
The camera turned back to Itachi who was drawing on something that was out of the cameras view.
"I don't know why Kisame was such a pussy" said Itachi, but the word pussy got everyone to laugh, even Konan, who detested the word. "But he never put the camera on his face until I took it and did a final shot."
On the camera Itachi reached for it and held it over their victims face. Orochimaru almost shit a brick right there. On his sleeping face, was a picture of a cat that was being licked by a drawn on tongue. On his forhead it said, "I eat pussy!"
Orochimaru let out a girlish squeal and ran into the bathroom to check his head. Sure enough, it was all still there in perfect red sharpie.
"KISAME! YOUR DEAD!" yelled Orochimaru. Kisame instantly reached down and picked up his zabatou. "Stay the hell away" he said holding it at Orochimaru who was now on the other side of the couch.
"Wait wait" said Itachi. "Before you kill him, someone please restrain Deidara while I show this."
Instantly 12 pairs of hands where holding the blonde haired man's body to the couch. He was shouting "NO!" but it was muffled by a hand. The camera fast forward until it was on Itachi's face.
"Alright, I feel tainted just to do this but...it's so gross you have to see." The camera turned and faced down the hall way until it approached a door on the right. "For some reason if we have any children in here, make them leave"
Zetsu got up and left.
"Now that Zetsu-san's gone...here we go" The camera poked through a crack in the door and it earned a 7 pronged chorus of "WOAH!" and a "IT BURNS" from Konan.
On the camera, Deidara was strutting around in just his man thong talking to...a Sasori puppet?
"So my art isn't good enough for you!" yelled Deidara. "It doesn't last long enough?!"
Deidara did a disturbing swing with his hips that send his junk out of his man thong. Making everyone laugh. It felt like a fire was beneath them from Deidara's embarrassment.
"Well, Sasori-baka. Who's arts better now!" He threw a piece of clay on the puppet and it exploded. He let out a small victory yell and made the victory sign towards the door. That's when he saw the lens in the crack.
"ITACHI YOU MOTHER FUCKER!" he screamed running for the camera. But when Deidara opened the door, he found the camera on a tripod with Itachi no where in sight. Until a big flash of white happened and the camera was wisked away from Deidara's cursing form.
Itachi smirked and looked at the dog piled Deidara who only glared at him. "I will get you back, maybe not today or tomorrow. But I will see you suffer" he said. Itachi noticed his hand sliding down to his clay pouch and smirked.
"Not today! SHINY TEETH NO JUTSU!" Itachi flashed his teeth, much like he did to Sasuke but he sent chakra through them and blinded anyone looking at them. The plants on the other side of the room, actually burst into blames. (AN: Oops supposed to be flames but I'll work with it) One plant turned to the other one shreiked, "IF IT WASN'T FOR THE DEXTROCHLORIDE YOU GIVE OFF HIS TEETH WOULDN'T BE SO DAMN SHINY!"
"MY DEXTROCHLORIDE? YOUR FUCKING PINKNESS MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE A FAG!"
"It does not" the plant said meekly.
"Shut it fag!"
The blames the plants shouted at eachother attracted Zetsu back into the room. "Itachi! Put your teeth away! Your tearing this plant family apart!"
Itachi shrugged and activated his Mangekyo Sharingan and walked over to the plants and looked at them straight in the petals. "IBANGEDALLYOURMOMSATOCTOBERFESTISBLURGEN!"
The plants convulsed for a moment, and in screaming agony withered away.
"You murder!" yelled Zetsu. "You gonna be eaten for that!"
Itachi shrugged again and walked off with his camera. "Is anyone else hu-"
"JASHIN DAMN IT! WHAT THE FUCK DID I SAY ABOUT KEEPING ME ACCUPIED! I SWEAR TO FUCKING JASHIN, IF EVERYTIME SOMEONE IGNORED ME. KAKUZU WOULD GET A DOLLAR!"
"What? Sorry" said Pein as he headed off for the kitchen. Kakuzu's head looked out of the financial aid section of the paper, "Money? Well damn! Every time Hidan get's ignored I get a dollar?! PRAISE JASHIN FOR HE IS GOOD!" he said sarcastically before returning back to the paper.
"Heads up!" yelled Sasori. Kakuzu looked up and saw Hidan's head laying at his foot. "DO NOT USE JASHINS NAME IN VAIN!" he yelled and chomped down on Kakuzu's leg.
"I said the head was up" muttered Sasori before leaving. Itachi shook his head and sighed. "Why are morning so loud!"
He walked down a hall way and sighed again. His shoes weren't that comfy. He wanted his Itachi a Go-go shoes back. "Maybe when we have the world I can resurrect them using the Bijuu. Waste of chakra? Maybe. Worth it? yes!"