So yeah, I was walking today and I saw a boomerang. It inspired this chapter. Also I'm sure this goes for everyone. The manga is pissing us off correct. SPOILER First Sasuke kills off the most awesome character in the series. Then he get's rewarded with a new sharingan looking thing. no no no. That doesn't play good with me. He has to feel like a dick because he killed the good guy. Fuck Sasuke, I hate his sorry ass guts. For all I've offended, I care not. Itachi will not die in this story.

3 Month's Later At The Akatsuki House

"I don't fucking believe you!" yelled Kakuzu. "We're three thousand dollars indebt to have that damn chakra statue built. Which is coming along like shit anyway. But you...YOU go and buy a pair of chakra enhanced shoes!"

Itachi shrugged and slapped his new Itachi A Go-Go shoes on his feet and smiled. "They're perfect!"

"They come from fucking Lucifer himself" muttered Kakuzu. Hidan who was passing by stuck his head into the room, "You mean Jashin?"

"Yes Hidan...Jashin" Hidan smiled and walked away. Yelling stuff about praising Jashin. Kakuzu sighed and turned back to Itachi. "Where the hell did you get those?"

"Internet"

"...What the hell's the internet?" Itachi opened his mouth and quickly shut it again. He looked down at his shoes then to his camera. 'What is the internet?' he thought.

"It's a thing where you can buy stuff from the comfort of your own home" said Itachi innocently. Kakuzu glared at the shoes, "What possible benifit do they give you?"

"Comfort and when you pump them they make you slightly taller!" exclaimed Itachi making the shoes expand making him an inch taller. "Bam!"

Deidara came walking in and nodded at them before heading to the fridge. Itachi smiled and flashed his shoes, "Hey Deidara! Like my new shoes?"

He looked down and gasped. "OMG Are those the new Itachi A Go-Go v 2.5 shoes with insta growing action yeah yea yea?."

Itachi smirked, "the very same"

Deidara let off a girly squeal and looked at him with awe, "They match your hair, yeah!" Kakuzu shuddered and took a drink of orange juice.

"I wish I could get a pair...they're like four thousand bucks a pair!" said Deidara. Kakuzu's drink did not come out his mouth like a normal person. His body, from his addiction to money went into a spasmistic shock. In which his stomach actually spit the orange juice out through his chest, soaking his shirt.

"Ow" he groaned. Deidara stopped his fawning and turned to him. "You alright, yeah?"

"Yeah but the price of those fucking shoes are causing me to go into cardiac arrest. I'm going to call an ambulance...whatever the fuck that is." he said softly and turned and leaved he kitchen.

"Your going to let me try them on yeah, yeah?" asked Deidara. Itachi sat on a stool and thought about it for a moment. "Naw, I just wanted you to see them so I could fuck with you"

"Your a horrible person yeah!"

"I've been told" Itachi said grimly. He stood up from his stool and started to walk to the hall. "If I'm not needed I'm just gonna-" Itachi not noticing where he was walking stepped in and slipped on Kakuzu recently stomach throwed up orange juice, just as Kisame was walking in. He had barely enough time to dodge the shoe that flew off Itachi's foot. It nearly missed his face and flew through a wall.

"What the hell?" said Kisame as he was picking Itachi up. "Why did you throw your shoe at me?"

"I didn't"

"Ok, fine we'll play your games" said Kisame "But when I win don't bitch at me- whack!"

The shoe had came back through another portion of the wall and kicked Kisame in the nose. He stumbled back holding. "WHAT THE HOLY FUCKING HELL! HIDAN! I BLAME YOU" yelled Kisame just as the shoe came flying around for another attack. "Satan's in this shoe!"

Itachi tried to catch it but it was moving way to fast. Kisame was running fast hiding behind solid objects. But the Itachi shoe just kept flying straight threw them. "Itachi! Call off your attack shoe!"

"Come here little shoe" said Itachi sweetly, he even whistled once or twice. Until the shoe rounded on him. Itachi had to use his Sharingan to dodge. As the shoe past his head, he heard a shrill banshee scream. He turned around to see Orochimaru holding his nuts.

"Why?" he asked very quietly, then fell face first to the floor. Itachi stood there looking at Oro's twitching body. 'We're suppose to be the most powerful ninja's...yet we're systematically being taken out one by one...' he thought. This started to anger Itachi...his A Go-Go shoes betrayed him. Well one did. The other one is still tied around his foot as snug as a bug.

"That's it!"

Itachi flung his shoe as hard as he could towards the oncoming satan shoe. The two collided and fell to the floor, completely still. "Is it safe" asked Kisame as he emerged from hiding.

"I think" said Itachi as he grabbed a fork and started poking the shoes. "I think I'll give these to Hidan."

"Why?"

"You'll see" said Itachi with a smirk, "grab the camera"

--

Itachi (on camera) threw the shoe like a frisbee into Hidan's room and slammed the door shut. Screams of pain and running feet soon filled the camera's mircophone. Kisame started to laugh behind camera. Itachi had to admit, he was better than a tripod. After a few minutes, the screams and bumps stopped. Itachi was about to open the door when Hidan's form crashed into the door leaving a faint outline. Then the words Itachi A Go-Go started to imprint themselves on the door from the shoe impacting it. Itachi held his breath to keep from laughing and opened the door. Hidan's unconcious form fell to the floor with the shoes impact imprintes all over his body. The shoe laid harmlessly on the floor. Itachi walked passed Hidan and put it back on his foot.

"The most deadly chakra enhanced shoe on the planet! And it's mine!" said Itachi in the most evil way he could.

"Uh..." said Kisame as he turned the camera down the hall and saw Orochimaru using his hands to crawl across the floor.

"I'm going to kill you Itachi!" he yelled. Itachi poked his head out the door and laughed, "You don't got nuts, there's no use in crying over them!"

"Wait til I get my hands on you!"

"I'm not letting you touch me in your pedophile way's, run Kisame!"


I'm sorry I haven't updated in awhile. I've been away on buisness...but that's the excuse.