I'll be the first to admit those thing's in last chapter were based off two skit's by Dane Cook and the whole gunshot over the phone was done by ICP. But the glitter and the cookies all me.

Now start review'in, or give me your soul! Your beautiful soul! I am the soulburner!

I've been looking for an excuse to say that all day. Speaking of souls, I'm going to raid a scene from DoVG (decline of video gaming) on the whole fast food souls thing. Right here in...THE BEGINNING!

Itachi was standing at the counter of the resturant talking with Hatake Kakashi. It was November 24th, thanksgiving. The day all the missing nin's could unite with they're village without the threat of being killed. Of course, as soon as mid night struck, ANBU was looking for them. But non the less, here stood the Uchiha and Kakashi ordering fast food. Hooda thought?

Itachi turned around and was about to order when he saw the chasier, he jumped back and screamed slightly. There stood a guy in huge overecumbering blue armer, with two peircing red/yellow eye's. and it growled at him.

"Just order" said Kakashi and pushed Itachi to the counter. "U...um...yeah...I'd like a number one with a-"

"SOUL'S!"

"...no coke."

"Soul's?!"

"No coke."

"SOUL'S!"

"COKE!"

"Coke?"

"Yes and a-"

"SOUL'S!"

"FUCK THIS! I'M GOING TO BURGER KING!"

Itachi shushin'd from the resturant and appeared outside throwing the biggest scene ever. Kakashi sighed and stepped up to the counter. "Yeah, I'll have the number three with soul and another soul off the dollar menu."

"Ok, that's one number three, a Dr. Pepper and a double chi. Is that all?"

"That'll do it" said Kakashi pulling out his wallet. "6.98"

Kakashi pulled out a ten and handed it to him, "Sorry bout my friend, he's a little on the insane side."

The two of them looked out into the parking lot and saw Itachi chucking a small child through the windsheild of a passing car. Yelling obcinities at it.

"Should I call the cops?"

"Naw, but when he's dead I'll bring you his soul."

"Souls! Thank you Kakashi."

Kakashi nodded and took his food to his seat. He took his burger out of the non-biodegratable styrophome container and quickly at it before any one could see what he had on under his mask. He was about half way done when a truck bed came through the wall of the play area behind Kakashi and shot Itachi up the plastic slide.

o000o

November 25th

"How was your Thanksgiving Itachi un un u nun?" asked Deidara.

"I don't wanna talk about it"

"Why?"

"Because it hurt. Alot, did you know that a trucks center of gravity is in the very back where it hit me in the face?"

"What's a truck un? un"

Itachi stayed silent and tapped his finger's looking at the blonde idiot. Why did he alway's get the confusing question's?

"You figure it out. Go play in some traffic and I'm sure you'll find out." said Itachi. Deidara huffed in annoyance and walked away leaving Itachi alone and in peace...for about five seconds before Pein and Konan came in.

"WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN FORCLOSURE!?" yelled Konan. "THIS PLACE IN ENSSURED FOR ANOTHER SIX MONTHS!"

"Konan." said Pein weakly. "Kakuzu is the only one bringing in actual money. Then some people points at Itachi) are off buying shit."

"I don't give a damn! I don't want to live another month in a refridgerator box!"

"At least you had a fridge with it!"

"But where did I sleep!?" she yelled. Pein stayed silent and poked his finger's together. "The microwave box..."

The two continued they're fighting for what seemed like hours. Itachi eventually fell asleep only to be rudely awakened with a kunai ripping some hair out of his head. Itachi glared at them and layed his head back down on the counter. 'Am I the only sane person in this damn house?'

The next thing was that the fighting stopped abruptly and Konan stormed out of the room. Pein smirked and looked at his watch, the color of his skin was bright red.

'Oh, curious' thought Itachi as he watched Pein run off in the direction Konan did...her room.

"OH, BLACKMAIL!" yelled Itachi. Nobody saw Itachi move, they saw a black flash. A couple people in the room thought the Yondaime of Konoha had a son or something because it moved that fast. Kisame was rewrapping the Samehada when a camera appeared out of no where with Itachi behind it. "Where's Zetsu? He wanted to be apart of the next video."

Kisame shrugged, "I'm free."

Somewhere non threatening to the peace and stability of this fic.

Zetsu sat in the grass looking at two venus flytraps.

"So..."

Suddenly a flying Itachi A Go-Go shoe flew out of the sky and decapitated the two plants. Zetsu just watched the shoe fly away and zip to where ever it was needed in it's fight against evil. Like parent venus flytraps, or Fall Out Boy.

Back to the action.

"Wait" said Itachi. Both him and Kisame stopped dead in their tracks 20 feet from Konan's door. "Why is this hallway slanted left?"

Kisame looked down and sighed, "It's because you've only got one shoe on."

"Hehe, oh yeah." said Itachi thinking of where the rogue shoe was traveling. When all of a sudden he heard what he wanted. a crack and a scream.

"This day is proving itself to be worth it" said Itachi. Together they snuck up on the door and cracked it open, super ninja stealthily. Itachi opened the view finder on the camera and stuck it in. At the sight inside both cold blooded killers made a mental note. Not to have sex with Konan.

Pein was strapped to the bed and Konan was walking around, naked holding a black, nail filled whip. She was smirking sadistically and looking down at the poor "God".

'Oh, Hue, your going to love me even more now' thought Itachi as he caught the whole night on tape.

o000o

Only on Paper View...pay per view! Watch a God get dominated by a mere human! (whipping sound and scream) Filmed by Hue heffner's greatest voyuer, Uchiha Itachi!

"I'VE GOT TO WATCH THIS!" yelled Diedara as he fumbled with the remote to order it. But froze when he just saw the entire room stare at him. "...un?" Everyone went back to normal. Deidara sighed and he hit the order button and watched Itachi's newest works. Just as Pein and Konan walked through the front door. Now it seemed to the rest of the organization that they didn't care. Due to the fact they had been on previous pay per view things previously before the global dominization thing came into play.

The rest of the day no one heard anything from them until Konan walked out to them all, completely nude. Holding the weapon they now feared. "You guy's like to watch that stuff? Great, now come here so we can all do it together."

All males present backed themselves into a corner, Hidan being somewhat more sensible grabbed a cross and held it infront of him, but it caught fire on contact with him making him drop it.

"Jashin damn it!" he yelled. Konan's smile never faltered as she went to hit them. But they dived out of the way. "Don't worry" she said sweetly, "I'm not going to hurt you...I'M GOING TO KILL YOU ALL!"

"DEAR GOD!"

"DEAR JASHIN!"

"I'M STILL A VIRGIN"

"THAT'S BECAUSE YOUR A SHARK MAN HYBRID!"

"DON'T TOY WITH MY EMOTIONS!"

Knock knock knock

"HE-mmmm"

The rest of Akatsuki dragged Kisame into the back and Pein answered the door. "y-y-yyess" he asked shakily, he realized how bad it was and cleared his throat. "Yes"

It was a cop. When he saw Pein he snickered a little but returned to his papers. "Would you be the owner of one, Orochimaru?"

Itachi popped his head around the corner with the camera. There was not way in hell he was going to miss this.

"Yeah...what'd he do?"

"What didn't he do" said the cop. "He's sick! Pedophilia, indecent exposure to minor's. He's a basket case. Screaming he only did it because he couldn't get his hands on Uchiha Itachi."

"This day is like fucking candy!" yelled Itachi, making the entire house look at him. "IF IT GET'S ANY FUCKING BETTER I'M GOING TO HAVE A CANDY-GASM!"

"Yeah...well. Bail's set for bout 5 mil. so..."

"Keep the mother fucker!" yelled Pein and slammed the door. "MEN! WE ARE FREE!"

All men exception for Hidan, pulled off solid steel chastitiy belts and sighed.

"The boy's!" yelled Deidara, "I can feel them again."

"A NEW AKATSUKI DECREE!" yelled Kakuzu. "MEN WILL ALWAYS FREE BALL!"

Then they sang...oh did they sing. "WE'RE FREE. FREE BALLIN"

"Isn't it free falling" asked Konan standing there alone, naked, with a nail whip.

"NO!" they yelled, the air wave's blasted her off her feet and into the next room.

K a big sloppy but what the hell, it's late. I'm tired and I'm trying to update everything before i sleep. I won't update again until the fifteenth at least. So here you go wallow in it,

just yell at me for the dissapointment you feel. I encourage it.