Reminder:: Once again, I don't stand a chance of owning any of the recognizable items. All copyrighted to their respective owners.

A couple Hershey bars later and here's the next chapter! =D

I'm really excited to be writing regularly again. I re-worked a couple of old ideas, came up with a few new ones, and now I've got a timeline for the rest of this story planned out. And… I hope you guys are dedicated readers, because this is nowhere near finished. xD Quite frankly, I'm not sure if it's halfway over based on my last chapter count. ._.

I also went back and read all the reviews I ever got for this story, and I have to thank you all again. I felt like crying! xD You guys are way too nice. But come back please – don't hate me for being so tardy. Dx I update for you guys. Maybe two chapters back to back will give you guys new faith. n_n

Chapter Twenty-One :: Merry Yuletide
The Fourth Day of Yuletide

And so it begins…

The morning for me was like a fog. Ioreth helped me into my dress – I had to admit I liked this one much better because it was more streamline and simple – and I was actually early for once.

I sat on a stiff chair on my little balcony with a book, trying to make sense of the words. Beleg and Linius had taught me the basics of reading and writing, but I had to admit, I think I was a much better writer than a reader. Doesn't sound like it makes sense, but what I mean is that I am a very slow reader and the words sort of pass right through my head if I'm not saying them aloud. I often have to re-read a single sentence two or three times before I understand it.

Huan leaned against my leg as I stroked his soft head. He had lost his old dog smell somewhere in the course of Yuletide (a couple of girls in the Houses thought he was the bees' knees and decided to pamper him during the holiday) and he smelled fresh from all the regular bathing. I could tell the travelling had aged him; more so than when I had first met him last autumn. It was last autumn, wasn't it? Odd…

Closing my eyes, I tried to make a mental calendar of all the things that I had done since I could remember. So I awoke in fall… and I had only been with the resistance of Easterlings for a few weeks. I had met Beleg and Linius that same autumn and stayed in their home until the orc raid in summer… Then I travelled to Ithilien and, like Faramir said yesterday, I was brought to Minas Tirith before midsummer. I had sulked about the Houses of Healing then for nearly three seasons as spring is approaching soon. I have been here longer than anywhere else.

It didn't feel right to me. I had learned to ride a horse, cook, and even read when I had spent about three quarters of a year in Rohan. I had spent just a little bit more time in Gondor and what have I accomplished? Nothing! I have lounged about and learned to become a 'lady'. How ironic I've finally become a lady and I've dropped the name…

Looking into Huan's glossy eyes, I scratched his itchy ear and smiled down at him. "Do you miss them? Probably more than I could know…"

"What are you doing out there in the cold, child? Hurry, hurry! The wind's made a mess of your hair and it must be tamed before the Lord Faramir arrives. In, in, in!" Ioreth clucked, ushering me back inside.

"Ioreth, do you know how to read?" I asked, setting down the dry manuscript. It was some sort of plant guide so my boredom also had quite a bit to do with my incapability to read a sentence only once.

Huffing and rolling her eyes, she answered: "Never saw a reason to! Reading's for bored people who have the time to waste on papers."

"But this book should be helpful… It's about herbs and mixtures for—"

"Know everything I need to and it's all up here." Ioreth tapped her head. She set me down in a different chair and started tugging on my long strands of hair with a brush, replacing the yellow Witch Hazel that had gone askew. My dress rather looked like Witch Hazel. It was a deep, vibrant yellow with brown trim with long pointed sleeves and slim skirt. It was my favorite of the gowns so far.

"But aren't you ever curious to know more?" I insisted, poking through the book. Thinking of Linius' story of his mother Coniceth, I stopped on a particular page and held it up for Ioreth to see. "See, on this page it says things about herbs that help induce a healthy birth. This sort of thing could save lives!"

Swatting the book away, Ioreth held firm. "All the best remedies are all up here, Finwen." When she used the name given me by the Steward, I knew she meant business. I decided not to push the topic any further.

It wasn't needed as Ioreth finished with my hair and had me stand and twirl. "There… Lovely as a star… Dear, you've come so far since I first saw you dragged in. You were wearing men's clothes and covered in dirt! Didn't have a smidgeon of decent etiquette to your name either. Look what you've become! Lovelier than all the ladies of the courts and under the especial care of the Steward himself!"

"I wouldn't go as far to say that." I shook my head quickly. Glancing sideways in a mirror, I had to agree with her that I had certainly come far from what I first remembered. My hair wasn't as wild and I was wearing high priced clothing and I dined with nobility… But I couldn't help feeling caged.

"No…" I continued, losing myself a bit in my thoughts. "My movements are watched and I am forbidden from too many domesticities… I have come too far, indeed."

Her evident perplexity told me I was talking too much. I quickly smiled and hugged her. "Thank you so much for everything, Ioreth. I truly love you."

"Oh, dear…" Ioreth sniffled, biting her lip. She pushed me away after our hug and inspected my face. "A little peaked. Get some tea into you before you go. Wouldn't want you whiter than the halls."

Bustling around to fix the desired cup, I watched her for my attempts to help were silenced and shooed away. She handed me a steaming cup soon and I drank it obediently.

"You need some more meat on those bones! Too skinny, too skinny. Won't ever find a husband being that skinny – will think you can't cook and that's not desirable at all." Ioreth muttered to herself. I couldn't help but smirk. By that logic, Ioreth must've been a good cook.

It was high time we went to the main entrance, so Ioreth cleaned up my half-finished cup of tea and the breakfasting items and hurried down the stairs. I hurried after her, and because of the sudden excitement, Huan barked and loudly pushed past me going down the stairs.

Making quite a raucous by the time I reached the bottom, the Warden was unsure of what to do about a barking dog and Ioreth was loudly scolding him, matching him in volume with shrill reprimands. I hurried forward, but the door opened and Huan slipped out. I ran and nearly crashed into the Lord Faramir. He did not have his ensemble of guards today, so I didn't have to worry about too much of a show, but Huan continued barking and running down the street away from the Houses.

"Huan!" I called, but it was useless. I turned bashfully back to the Lord Faramir and apologized. "Seems you're greeted with a new adventure every day. I'm sorry about Huan – I'm not sure what's gotten into him."

"We shall find him before we attend Yule." Faramir kindly decided. I thanked him profusely, said good-bye to a flustered Warden and Ioreth, and ran most un-lady-like down the street after my old dog.

In good spirits this morning, Faramir hurried after me. At the corner of the street where the mazes of the city began, I called out Huan's name again.

"Hush a moment." Faramir ordered. I obeyed and watched him listen to the air. "Distant barking – this way."

Slightly amazed (although he was a Ranger of Ithilien; why did I forget?) I nodded and followed Faramir down the street. My shoes weren't made for jogging down cobblestones, so I lagged behind. I did my best to keep up with Faramir and he often halted so I could do so. Finally, he found Huan sniffing lazily at some Yuletide merchandise: a cart of spices and herbs of the season.

"Huan, how could you?" I scolded, holding onto the scruff of his neck. "Thank you so much, Lord Faramir. This is quite a ridiculous way of saying good morning…"

Panting slightly from the run, he agreed. "I have to admit, I have not before chased a dog as the first activity of the year. More exciting than my father's yearly tradition of lecture though. Invigorating in the least."

I was confident that Huan would follow us now that he had his run; I kept him close as we made the trek back to the Houses by giving him a pat every now and again to tell him I was watching just in case he got any ideas for more adventures though. It was silent for awhile as we simply walked the empty streets. Many of the people were in their homes or in the feasting hall celebrating. There were a good many who stayed home this day of Yuletide having drunk too much the night before as well.

When our breath was under control and we could talk freely again, Faramir brought up the first real question amongst the trivial observations. "If I heard you correctly, Lady Finwen, you said something very curious yesterday that you have yet to explain."

Nodding in agreement, it was a subject I longed to avoid. Secretly, I wished I had never said anything. For once, I felt I was right. I had discovered truth. But this was a truth that was too bizarre and surreal to… well, be truth. It was very complicated, but to make a long story short, I feared Faramir would think me mad if I told him. Might explain to him why I'm in the Houses to begin with…

And that was the last thing I wanted. Looking at him now, I felt deep down that I did not want this man to think ill of me. If all the people in the world were to hate me, I would not care as long as someone as honest and wonderful as Faramir thought me good. Did I just describe him as 'wonderful'? What a curious adjective I chose…

"I…" I began uneasily. How could I dig myself out of this? I didn't like keeping things from Faramir, either. This doesn't sound good at all… "I fear my past is lost to me forever."

"You remembered something." He stated simply.

"That obvious." The question came out more as a statement. I really was much too predictable. How stupid. "Before I awoke… I remember… you won't think me mad?"

"On what little information I have been given, it is hard to think you sane." He countered with a small inclination of a smile. "But I promise you my word to never mock you. Will you tell me what is on your mind?"

With a slight burst of confidence, I said: "There was a voice. Inside my head. It said that I… Well, basically, I was given the chance to start everything over again. I don't know what it means by that, but if I'm thinking logically… Well, did it insinuate that I died?"

Faramir did not know what to say to this. We arrived at the Houses at this moment, so our conversation was abruptly cut off as the door opened and Huan was accepted back inside. I had to persuade Ioreth not to beat the poor creature for his mischief, and Faramir's added insistence that there was no trouble at all gave Ioreth enough satisfaction to stay her hand. Huan retreated to my room and we said our fare wells once again and this time turned to the path that would lead us to the feasting hall.

Without missing a beat, as we were out of earshot, Faramir said: "I don't know what to make of your claim. Honestly, it is strange to me, but not impossible. I wish to consult someone wiser than me, but I fear the one I wish to confide in is not within the limits of the city."

"Gandalf?" I tried. Faramir nodded.

Gulping down my nerves, we entered the feasting hall. As Faramir went about his routine greeting people and inquiring into an infinite list of names of family members that I would dread to memorize as he, I practically shook with fear. It took all my will to force smiles and curtsies throughout the remainder of the morning. Obviously, the voice was a bad thing. What could be so important as to contact a wizard? Something was seriously wrong with me… And I felt sick to my stomach.

Sitting next to Denethor at the table once again, I barely ate anything. Slightly hung over from four days of straight drinking, the Steward barely noticed and only loaded my plate for me every once in awhile. I couldn't tell if he was missing his own or caring about my appetite anyways. He was a dear though, so I didn't say anything and just discreetly moved food away from my vicinity.

It was well past noon when I could not stand acting anymore. Standing up abruptly, I practically fell over my own chair muttering excuses about the privy and my clumsy flat-footed shoes. I could feel eyes on me as I quickly retreated from the feasting hall and found myself in a small room for bathroom purposes. It was quite empty and surprisingly clean.

Before I could take a deep breath, I was already shaking with tears. I found the wash basin and gave my face a good dosing in the cool water. A looking glass was hanging precariously on the wall near a chamber pot. My face was red and blotchy from my sudden break down. I attempted to rub the red away, but it would just take some calm breathing and time.

Leaning against the wall, I tried to steady myself. Why had everything been so hard from day one? There has been absolutely nothing easy in this world. Nothing to just 'click'. Nothing I was used to. Everything is new and strange and complicated and I wanted to go home.

But where is home? If I told Faramir the whole truth as I deduced, I would've said home was a different time, a different place, a different way of life. All the images I ever remembered from home were broken and strange to me. They were strange because I was trying to make them related to my life here. They wouldn't have been so strange if I never left…

I touched the cool floor with my hand and realized I had sat down at some point. One of the Witch Hazel flowers had fallen out of my hair and landed near my hand. I picked up the small, tubular flower and examined it. Something familiar… That's what I really longed for. Witch Hazel felt familiar. I could close my eyes and picture the small tree-like bush that it grew on. The buds would favor the cold winter over the spring and burst, giving color to a usually dull season of grays. In fact… I could remember the ugly Witch Hazel bush that looked constantly dead throughout the year right outside my house. It would rarely bloom in the winter time for lack of care, but when it did, it always made winter a little brighter. It gave a little boost to my mornings before I would walk down the street to the bus for school…

Wait… what?

The day was long and drawn out, but when I was finally back in my room I felt I could finally let go. I didn't bother taking the dress off – it was quite comfortable and I was content to wear it for a few more moments.

Sprawled out on my bed, I stared at the dark canopy and tried to remember the new words I thought of today while sitting in the bathroom.

Street. Alright… relatively familiar. But the one I thought of was definitely not cobblestone. It was smooth and long and flat.

Bus. School. Both seemed so alien to me, my mind wanted to tear them out because they caused me pain. Faramir meant well when he said I should try not to forget my past, but I was starting to like the past I had here in Middle-Earth better than the past I was supposed to remember. The former didn't give me such awful headaches.

Then again, Faramir always means well. He's always been so kind to me…

A sharp voice in my mind blatantly reminded me that Denethor was obviously planning to have me betrothed to his first son, the one I didn't even know. I bitterly ignored it and silently hoped Boromir was a lot like his younger brother. I wouldn't mind if he was exactly like him, really…

Sarah… Sarah…

What I had heard more than once before staring at the dark skies of the East was calling to me again. This time it was more audible than previous encounters and I couldn't help but rise and walk out onto my balcony to answer it.

Sarah…

The word was unfamiliar and I strained to hear it again. It didn't sound like a real word. Almost like a sound.

…S…rah…

Huan whimpered and circled my feet. He was obviously uncomfortable with something, but I could not sense the dark presence like he could. I was only human.

All at once, a vision in my mind flashed. A flaming eye, piercing land and flesh, made my stomach drop and my heart waver. A dark voice in my head breathed: "Daughter of Eru Ilúvatar."

I covered my ears in vain and stepped back. Flying to bed and throwing the covers over my head, not minding that Huan was now underneath with me too, I squished him tight and hoped the strange eye would leave me alone.

I would never be able to explain why, but I knew I would see that eye again. Deep in my heart, I knew… the Great Eye of Sauron knew more about me than I did.