November 2nd
Dear Me,
I just came home from Neji's house. It was FUCKING incredible. No freaking joke. So we walked to his house, even two miles away you can spot that mansion. When we got there, the three of us decided to watch a movie in his basement theater thing, We had to stop halfway though because the maids had to clean the theater. So we went to the pool. It's kind of ridiculous to use a pool in the fall, but it was indoors so it's all good. Then I guess we talked and ate some food. We didn't talk about anything important, just about how Chouji is gonna try and ask Ino out. He's liked her since eighth grade and now he's finally ready to ask her out. She's gonna say yes.
Naruto
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November 3rd
Dear Me,
I don't know what's more sad; the fact that my parents called me a worthless, inferior little shit or that they hit me multiple times. After that incident, I felt smaller than ever before. I felt like the world didn't want me. I wanted to run away. I wanted to leave this world behind. But I didn't know where I would go. I didn't have enough money to run away. Then I thought about it. I could move in with somebody. But who would take in a kid like me? I've heard people talk about how their parents said I was a 'bad seed' and that I shouldn't hang around with those people. They're wrong. They're all wrong. They don't know who I am. If they listened, listened for one small second, they would understand. But they never do. That's what I call judging a book by its cover. They don't know what I have to say. They just assume whatever the fuck they want. But you know what? I don't need this. Then, I thought about suicide...
Naruto
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November 10th
Dear Me,
I couldn't do it. I had a handful of sleep aid and I couldn't bring myself to do it. I really wanted to though. I skipped two days of school then went back. I couldn't face those people I called my friends. They wouldn't understand because they never do. That's when I went looking for Hinata. I knew she would understand. She's Hinata after all. But when I tried to look for her, I felt guilty. I didn't know why. I still went though, and when I searched everywhere, I couldn't find her. I started panicking and looked for Neji. He said she went on a trip to see her grandfather. She would be gone for two weeks. I couldn't go that long without talking to her. So I tried it again. I tried suicide again. Just because my parents couldn't take that I missed two days of school.
Naruto
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November 14th
Dear Me,
I'm such a weakling. Couldn't even do it again. I'm not sure what today is but I have three missed calls. Two of them were from my school and one was from an unknown number. I don't pick up to random numbers. I really needed to talk to someone. Right now. But here's the thing, they... they don't listen. They like to talk and they always say that they listen when they don't. They just fucking don't! Just because I'm not normal doesn't mean I can't talk. I'm frustrated with the world. I want to pick it up, and shake it around. Maybe the people who aren't smart will fall into oblivion. I want someone to answer my question. God, Jesus, Lucifer, hell the lead singer of that band! Someone, just tell me, why was I born? I shouldn't have been born because I live in terrible conditions. Maybe my real mother was raped and she didn't want me because I was going to be a burden to her and her family. Maybe my real parents had sex at a young age and had to give me up because I was the thing that ruined their futures. Well you know what? Fuck them, fuck the world, fuck everyone.
Naruto
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November 15th
Dear Me,
Who the fuck keeps on calling me? Who do they think they are? The same unknown number keeps calling. This is like the fifteenth time they've called. Oh and here, they sent a text. It says:
Come to school please.
I should really mention that I stared at this text for seven minutes straight. I looked at the clock. If I went to school right now, I'd be thirty minutes late. I decided to go. Just so I can find out who this person is. And besides, I don't want my parents to beat the shit out of me again.
Naruto
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November 16th
Dear Me,
So when I got to school yesterday, all the teachers didn't really ask why I was gone. Thank God too. If they did I would have snapped and punched someone in the face. As soon as I walked through the doors, I got a text saying,
Meet me outside during lunch.
Hope this person knows who they're shitting around with. Besides getting a lot of homework, I was really relieved no one came and asked me obnoxious questions. When lunch came around, I hurried outside. There was no one there. I was frustrated until I got another text telling me to go behind the school. I did as so and there sat... Hinata. I was thrilled. No one could believe how happy I was. Has it been two wees already? She smiled slightly and that was probably the best thing I've seen in days. She motioned for me to sit down next to her and then for some reason, I got nervous.
"N-Neji said you wanted to see me, so I came back..."
"You didn't have to leave your grandfather just to come see me,"
She shook her head and said, "It's fine, I wasn't that far anyways. What's been bugging you? Neji said you've been gone from school for a while now,"
I didn't want to tell her. I just had this guilt in me. I didn't know what this feeling was, but I know it took a long time for me to tell her.
"I-I've just had troubles at home..." I looked at Hinata and she looked like she didn't believe me.
"It's m-more than that I know," I sighed and decided to come clean. I told her everything. She didn't say much but she patted my hand and the left side of her lip was curved upwards slightly in a small, yet forgiving smile. I think I even started to cry. Just a little bit though. I'm a guy after all.
"It-it's not good to bottle up these f-feelings, Naruto, I'm glad you came to talk to me," She said. I looked at her with blurry eyes and saw her glowing face.
"Y-yeah, but it's not that. It's just that, no one understands. I don't like living alone with no one to love,"
"But that's okay, a lot of people love you, they just don't show it,"
"Like who?"
"Like me," I stared at her for a long time when I sat out there. Did that mean she liked me? Like I mean for than a friend? I didn't know. I couldn't answer that question. I couldn't answer a lot of questions.
One things for sure though, I felt a lot better after telling Hinata all those things. I even smiled.
Naruto
AN: so this chapter is pretty emotional. I know some people might have gone through this, not just the abuse but people not listening. I've gone through it and I can tell anyone it hurts. It hurts a lot. But, when you talk to someone about it, let it all out, you feel better. I've had a breakdown because no one understood what I was going through. But I talked to someone, and I'm here now to say so. So please if anyone you know is going through something is heartbreaking, sit down and listen to them. Sometimes, all it takes is to listen. Suicide is never the right choice because God gave you a chance to live. Don't throw it away.