I can't remember how this started.

That's a lie in itself; I remember precisely how it started. The details never escaped me. I think about it all the time. I spend the days brewing the bubbly potion, thinking about how my parents would feel. My parents, who were always proud of me, who always treated me as a little girl that I was. They died during the Second Wizarding War, killed by the side that was called Justice. They should've joined the Dark Lord. He would've protected them. But that's another matter. They're gone now, eliminated by the green light in less than one second.

I still don't know who killed them. Their bodies were buried in the tomb alongside my grand-parents, with my family. The area that had all the Parkinsons, generations of great wizards and witches. I would not be there; I would forever bear the name of Malfoy, or the name of Greengrass. I would never be a Parkinson again.

Draco was my once upon a time, since our teenage years in fact. Muggles had a word for it: hormones. It explained all the things that I felt during my time with him. He liked me back then, or so I thought. We were close from the first at Hogwarts. I caught his eyes at once, and then it began to develop.

I went to Yule Ball with him, I thought that was official enough. So did everyone else, anyone saw us assumed that we're a couple. I thought we were a couple. We were not like a normal couple. We didn't have dates, didn't have anniversaries. He didn't give me gifts for my birthdays, or Valentine's Day. I put my effort into my little gifts for him. My parents did not want to spoil me, so I had little pocket money. However, my gifts were thoughtful, were personalised, and were special.

Things began to change when Astoria entered Draco's attention. It was during the year when we were both made prefects. Things were going well at that time, the Dark Lord was rising and nobody cared. Everyone thought that Potter was lying. I felt sorry for Potter, but he deserved it. Who was he to think that he could stop the Dark Lord? He was the greatest wizard of all time, including Dumbledore.

Astoria entered Hogwarts two years after Draco and I. She was the younger sister of Daphne. She was very small when she entered, so small that Daphne kept her by her side for the most of the first year. Astoria often sit on her sister's bed in our dorm. She was so quiet that her presence was not noticeable. She made no friends during her first year, as she was shy and timid. However, by Christmas second year, she was rarely seen beside Daphne. I inquired about her whereabouts occasionally, only to be met by a short "I don't know".

By her third year, she has grown into a young lady. I should've sensed the danger right then. I chose to believe in Draco's love for me. Similar to her sister, who was a book-worm through and through, she spent most of her time studying. I bumped into her once or twice when I came down to the dungeon and she returned from the library. Draco appeared to have developed an interest in her. It seems that Draco met Astoria frequently when he was trying to find out Potter's business and she running back and forth between places.

Nothing much happened until the midway through our Sixth Year. It was during a trip to Hogsmeade, when Draco slipped away whilst Crabbe and Goyle and I were chatting. Suspicion arose when he returned with Astoria by his side. Her cheeks were flushed, not sure with the coldness or something else. Draco had his charming smile on, and Astoria had clearly fallen into his charm. I don't know what he's hoping to gain from this. He had me already, what is he doing with Astoria? The family Greengrass were not famous for anything, they were a bunch of blood-traitors, like the Weasleys.

The pair soon became the new Slytherin couple. I tried relentlessly to ignore the looks of pity from everyone else. I smiled and held my head up high. He'll come back to me. Of course he will.

Perhaps due the fate taking control, the inevitable Second Wizarding War happened. And both Greengrass died fighting against the Dark Lord. Draco did not notice, there were too many killings and bodies lying around at that time. I came across Astoria sitting by her sister's body, with a weak pulse left in her. She looked at me with her pair of sad eyes, and requested me the mission that I have to spend my whole life on.

"Pansy, I know you love Draco. There's no point denying it. I'm sorry I stole him from you. He'll be heart-broken by me dying. Please be me for him."

Her voice was sweet as usual, even near death. She took out two flask of Polyjuice Potion and swigged down one and lifted the other one to my hands. Right before my eyes, she transformed into me. She nods towards my flask, and I lifted the flask to my lips and closed my eyes. I thought about future as the potion changed me.

That was the end of my life, and the beginning of my life of lies.