Disclaimer : I claim no rights to the anime One Piece.

Current Song : No more hiding - Tales of Legendia.

"If you are too fortunate, you will not know yourself. If you are too unfortunate, nobody will know you." - Thomas Fuller.

Chapter Eleven : Breathe.

Dried, dressed and in a better mood, Antaeus stared at the closed door and then allowed his eyes to drift to the circular burnt mark Ace had made in anger. Nose twitching at the smell of burnt carpet, Antaeus carefully leaned back on his bed and stared at the ceiling. He had no intention of going into the kitchen just yet, despite the fact of his stomach growling quite loudly.

Groaning, Antaeus closed his eyes and shuddered when the breeze coming from the window brushed against his barely wet skin. It was a few moments later when his stomach growled again, finally forcing him to get up. Grabbing his crutch, he slowly moved towards the door, nudging the pillow out of the way with his uninjured foot.

Pulling the door open, he found himself face to face with an impatient looking Ace, who was holding a closed fist up ready to knock. Antaeus stared into the irritated black eyes before he gently used the crutch to tap Ace's leg.

"You can use your words." Ace murmured, stepping out of the way. "Ace, please move out of the way."

"I'm tired, irritated and I'm catching a cold from our little escapade earlier." Antaeus stated lightly. "You'll have to excuse me when I say that I don't feel like using manners or words for that matter."

"Right," Ace wrapped an arm around Antaeus shoulders, frowning when Antaeus tensed at the action. Instead of pulling away, he gripped the shoulder a nudge tighter and lead the smaller man into the kitchen where Robin was waiting.

"Oh, good," Robin smiled at the sight of them. "You've managed to drag him out of the room." she gave Antaeus a small smile. "Are you still sulking?"

Antaeus opened his mouth to give Robin a snaky remark when Ace's hand tightened on his shoulder in warning. He nodded his head and gently, but firmly stepped away from Ace to take a seat at the table, his stomach growling at the sight of the various meats on the table. Before he could reach for it, Ace gently slapped his hand away.

"We're going to wait until Robin is settled." Ace leaned back against the chair. "Until then, I want to ask you a few questions."

"And if I don't answer them?" Antaeus bit out, his hand twitching to slap the grin off Ace's face. The arrogance the man was displaying was impossible.

"Then your ass and that chair are going to become best friends." Ace countered swiftly. "I am going to let you know right now so it'll have time to sink into that stubborn head of yours." Ace suddenly leaned forward into Antaeus personal space, his breath mixing with the younger man's own. "I have no intention of leaving this island with you. I'm going to make sure that you remember every single thing about us, through any means necessary."

Antaeus shot back against his seat, his heart hammering in chest at the sound of Ace's voice which was determined and downright promising. His eyes briefly met the pirate's before he turned away, unable to take the intensity of the gaze. Placing his shaking hands under the table, he took a deep breath and mentally counted to ten to calm his racing his heart. This was no time to be acting like a frightened child, especially in front of people who he wasn't afraid of.

"You two could've started without me," Robin stated cheerfully, setting down a plate of drinks in the center. "I'm sure you two are very hungry."

"Non-sense," Ace murmured, reaching for a fork. "You are our host and it would be rude if we started eating without you, especially since you cooked all of it. Thank you for that, by the way, I would be happy to help you next time."

"Next time?" Antaeus echoed. "You mean you're staying here more than one day?"

"Antaeus-" Robin warned lightly, yet her eyes were growing colder as the seconds passed. "Ace is welcome for however long he wishes to stay. I do not mind him staying here, do you?"

Hearing the underlining threat in Robin's question, Antaeus nodded his head in agreement. What else could he do? It wasn't like Ace was going to leave even if Robin told him so. Like the man said, he wasn't leaving the island without him.

"Eat," Ace commanded gently, pushing a plates of meat, potatoes and a dish of creamy noodles Antaeus didn't recognize. "You'll need the energy."

He will? For what? Giving Ace a curious look he took the piece of meat and shoved in his mouth, careful not to get the juices over his shirt and pants.

"Huh," Ace murmured, staring at Antaeus. "You're usually a messy eater."

"Things change."

"Right, of course," Ace shoved a piece of meat in his mouth, chewing quite loudly in an obvious attempt to cover up the silence.

"Antaeus." Robin called out. "I think it would be best if we started calling you by your actual name, so that you can get used to it."

Antaeus pinched his lips at Robin's words. He wasn't ready to be called "Luffy." just yet. He didn't know anything about his old self and it wouldn't really help if he was called that.

"I'm fine." Antaeus laid the fork down on the plate. "I'm fine with Antaeus for now."

"But, it's not your name." Ace protested softly. "You want your memories back, yeah? Then we can start by calling you by the name you lost."

"Would it help me or would it help you, Ace?" Antaeus stared into the pirates eyes. "I, for one, have no problem with the name."

"I do," Ace narrowed his eyes. "It's not your name, and honestly, it doesn't fit you, Luffy."

"Stop it. I don't want to be called that."

"Luffy." Ace repeated firmly. "Luffy, Luffy, Luffy."

"Stop it!" Antaeus screeched out, his voice pained, strangled and angry all at once. Clenching his free hand in his hair, Antaeus hissed as another set of images flashed before his eyes.

He was sitting in a diner, the smell of meat, beer, wine along with the smoke coming in from the piers dangled all together. It felt familiar and a wave of warmth settled over him. This place felt like home.

"It's been two years, Luffy."

Looking up, he found himself staring at a younger Ace who was wearing an orange hat with a wicked grin painted on his lips.

"What? Are you speechless or something? That's new, seeing as you never could shut up." he felt a booted foot nudge his own underneath the rickety table. "So, you're an engineer now right?"

"Yeah!" he could hear himself saying. "I design ships for the navy."

"Oh," Ace smirked, a chuckle escaping his mouth. "So, you're the one causing my crew along with several others trouble?"

"You're acting as if you can't handle it, Portgas. D Ace."

"I can handle it just fine, thank you, but what I can't handle is my best friend staying in this town for the rest of his life." Ace pointed to the slightly dirty window. "There's so much out there you can see, Luffy. I'd know you'll love it. The big, open sea."

"Ace? Are you asking what I think you're asking?"

"You're damn right." Ace reached over and poke his nose. "Monkey D. Luffy will you join my crew as a shipwright?"

When Luffy snapped out of it, he found himself on the floor of the kitchen with a worried Ace and a solemn Robin looking down at him. And for once, Antaeus wanted to laugh at them. They were worried? Now of all times? Closing his eyes, he flinched when his head throbbed with pain. He must have hit his head on the way down.

"Luffy," Ace whispered. "Are you alright?"

Antaeus opened his eyes and stared into pirate's eyes as the images from his latest flash assaulted him. He wondered, just how long they had known each other? Four? Five? Ten years? Carefully and not without a hiss of pain, he slowly rose from the floor, mentally grateful for Ace's strong arms.

"What happened?" Ace questioned, adjusting Antaeus carefully on the chair before bending down so that he could look his husband directly in the eye. "Do you have these seizures often?"

"No," Antaeus murmured. "It happens every few days. And they're not seizures, they're memory flashes."

"Memory flashes?" Ace echoed, turning to Robin for an explanation. "What are those?"

"It's what Antaeus calls his flashbacks, these seizures induce the flashes and he recovers small parts of his memory." Robin explained softly. "He has never told me that they cause him pain."

"They don't!" Antaeus was quick to reassure, but was quick to falter under Ace's and Robin's stern, yet, concern gazes. "Well, not all of the time."

"I'm sorry," Ace gripped Antaeus hands tightly within his own. "If I hadn't antagonized you then this wouldn't have happened."

Staring at their locked hands, Antaeus wanted to scream that yes, Ace was the one at fault for his latest memory flash, but he couldn't do that. He couldn't blame Ace for something that was going to happen eventually.

"Don't apologize for something that would have happened eventually." Antaeus smiled, his eyes softening at the guilt look in the pirates eyes. "I'm tired, if you the two of you will excuse me?"

"Of course," Ace rose from his bent position and helped Antaeus out of the chair, much to the younger man's chagrin. "I'll help you there."

"There's really no need to-"

"It's fine, really," Ace reassured, saying a quick good-night to Robin over their shoulders. "I am the cause of this, despite what you said."

Antaeus merely huffed, holding onto Ace's arm as they slowly, but surely advanced towards their room. Once there, Antaeus quietly thanked the older and opened the door, as he limped inside, Ace's voice stopped him.

"Luffy?"

"Yes?"

"What-" Ace looked down to the carpet, and for some odd reason, Antaeus smiled at the downtrodden look. "What did you see? What did you remember?"

Grasping the knob, Antaeus stepped fully inside his room, only turning back once he had good grasp of his crutch and the door. "I saw us,"

"Us?" Ace stepped closer to him, his expression hopeful, pleading. "What were we doing?"

"We were talking," Antaeus elaborated further. "You looked younger and you were wearing this orange hat and you had the most wicked grin I've ever seen-" Antaeus stopped suddenly, flushing. Honestly, what's gotten into him all of sudden?

"Please," Ace begged. "Tell me the rest."

"It seemed like we hadn't seen each other in years in the way were talking. I-I was a making ships for the navy and you invited me to become your shipwright." Antaeus gave Ace a shaky smile who returned it with a relieved grin. "The flash ended there before I knew what my answer was, but it's obvious what it is."

"Yes, you became my shipwright and we-our lives were good, Luffy." Ace stepped closer. "It can be again if you just give me a chance to prove that it can be."

"I-Ace," Antaeus took a step back, stumbling as he almost lost his balance. "I don't know about this. I-" He couldn't say that he wasn't ready for it. Of course, he was ready for his memories to return -they were going to whether he liked it or not- he wasn't ready for Ace himself. The man was intelligent, intimidating, handsome and a billion of other words that Antaeus didn't have a mind to comprehend at the moment.

"In the morning?" Ace asked softly. "We can talk about this in the morning? When you're more rested."

Relieved at the sudden reprieve, Antaeus nodded, taking another step back, increasing the distance between himself and Ace. "Y-Yes, in the morning."

"Alright," Ace broad shoulders deflated. "In the morning, have a good night, Luffy."

"Y-You too, Ace."

Antaeus waited until he was out of sight before shutting door and limping to his still messing bed, tossing the crutch to the floor, he collapsed to the bed and groaned into the pillows. Carefully adjusting himself on the bed, Antaeus pulled his face from the pillow and stared blankly at the tan wall. What was he supposed to do now? What was going to say to Ace in the morning?

He didn't have much to say to the pirate about his memories, but he knew that didn't really matter to Ace. Over their short time together, he hadn't failed to notice how concerned Ace became for him and less of his memories. Though it was flattering, some bitter part of him still refused to believe that Ace wasn't concentrating on returning Luffy's memories.

It was a sickening feeling and Antaeus didn't like having it.

Pulling the covers to his shoulders, Antaeus closed his eyes and let his thoughts float away. He had enough of memories for the day. He wanted to find solace in his dreams, but it seemed that even there he could not find the peace he so craved.

He was laying down on a large bed, his body was relaxed and the pillows and comforter felt like heaven, even though the mattress was something to be less desired, it felt slept in and fit his body perfectly. Antaeus froze when he felt a large, stronger, naked body pressed against back molding to him as perfect as the mattress did.

"You're still angry with me." a deep, smooth voice-Ace's voice murmured in his ear. "You know I don't like it when you're angry with me."

"Well," he felt himself replying hotly. "You shouldn't be so damn reckless and could you scoot over? You're not exactly cool."

Antaeus shivered heavily when Ace simply purred darkly and brought them closer together. He yelped when he felt Ace's strong, callused hand caressing his thigh, the movement was possessive and loving. The fact that he too was naked did not escape his attention.

"I said I was sorry," Ace nipped at his earlobe playfully. "How many times do you want me to apologize, eh?"

"What good would it -stop nibbling my ear I'm not a treat- do if you apologized? We could be attacked tomorrow and you would do something else reckless." Antaeus grunted, moving away from Ace's wandering lips and hands. "Don't you understand? You're not living for yourself and your crew anymore."

"I know I'm not." Ace murmured, his black eyes shining. "I'm living for you and keeping you safe."

Antaeus blushed lightly, glad for the clouds passing over the moon, darkening the room for a quick moment. He hated, and yet he loved when Ace said things like that. Even though the man said it to veer away his anger at the situation fifty percent of the time.

"I know, but you need to be more careful." Antaeus whispered, backing away as Ace tried to grab his hips. "Ace?"

"Yes," Ace replied, purring, successfully grabbing Antaeus hips and pulling him back towards his own body. "I understand."

"Ace!"

"Luffy," Ace whispered in return, allowing his lips to sink into the smaller man's shoulder. "I'm tired of talking about this."

"Well-" Antaeus moaned when Ace pressed several deep kisses into his shoulder and slowly going up his neck. "I-I'm not." he was dragged down back onto the bed and his body was covered by Ace's larger and more muscular one. "We are not having sex."

Ace raised a brow, his lips pulling into a wicked smirk. "We're not?" he spread Antaeus legs and settled himself there. "I beg to differ."

Antaeus gasped, his eyes bursting open and effectively ending the dream. He quickly sat upright and placed his hand against his beating chest. He shivered as the memory of the dream flashed before his eyes again. He and Ace doing...doing that? Shuddering at the thought, he blushed brightly in the darkness of his room. The thought of him and Ace having sex or doing any kind of heavy petting was...pleasant? Truth be told, Ace wasn't bad looking. Ruffling his hair, Antaeus flopped back down on the bed unceremoniously. He didn't want to think about this now or ever. As he closed his eyes, one errant thought broke through.

How in the world was he going to get through his morning with Ace coming off a sex dream?