For the next few days, the only visiter I got was that Cade kid. I don't know why he would wanna visit me. . . then again, his old man don't treat him right neither. I guess maybe he just visited because we have that connection.

He's a good kid. I like him.

You see, he was in here for the first two days I got in this place for physical theropy or something like that. I'm sure you know about the Soc and the stabbing and the fire and stuff, so I don't have to tell you the same story. Yeah, so, he was just walkin' 'round the hospital trying to get his legs used to walkin' and happend to come across my room. He asked me why I was in here. I told him what GLaDOS told me to say. 'I got caught by my ol' man tryin'na kill myself.' But even though she was contolling what I said, I was able to make my voice shakey and hesitant. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't crying for help, I was tryin'na take control of my speaking back. So with the shakeiness of my voice, and the mentioning of my dad, he just sorta put the peices together himself.

His visits actually made us into good friends.

What's bothering me though is that GLaDOS has been keeping quiet ever since she told me her name. . . I thinks she's scheming something feirce.

Today Johnny came in late.

He looked flustered and he seemed to get more and more nervous he got closer to me.

"Hi again Tim." He said panting.

"Hey Johnny." I smile at him softly.

"Y-Yeah. . . Yeah." He said catching his breath. "I-I uh, I got ya' something." He brought what he was holding behind his back around so I could see it.

Glory!

It was a cat. Silky black fur, pointed ears, long flowing tail, glowing green eyes. . .

"Why would ya' give this to me" I say letting the little creature pounce and settle onto my lap.

"Well," He starts nervously, "I just thought you'd be lonely up here while i'm gone. . . But, uh, I didn't buy it."

I laugh, "It figures, ya' theivin' greaser."

He smiled as he watched me play around with the little creature. "Ya' know," He starts, "The hospital won't let ya' keep it here, but I'll take care of it 'til yer out."

I nodded, a little bit dissapointed.

"How much longer ya' got in here anyway?"

"Just three, maybe four days."

He sighed dramatically.

I thought as I petted the cat in my lap. . . Johnny realy is the first and only person that actually cared for this much. Don't get me wrong, my mom takes care of me, but she has to tollerate me. Like, she makes sure I'm taken care of because it's her duty as a mother, but she does not want to do it. Anyway, Johnny's just so caring and nice, he puts other people before himself and he just. . . I don't even know anymore. I just feel like I could maybe. . . kiss him even. . .

I think I like Johnny. . . Like. . . Like Johnny.

Don't take it the wrong way, I'm not gay, I don't like guys. . . and I don't like girls either! I just. Like. Johnny. That's it. No specific gender, just that little good lookin' tan skinned fella whose face is just inches from mine. . .

. . . Wait, WHAT?

I flinch wildly making my new cat jump off of my lap in suprise. Johnny quickly moved back and covered his face in embaressment. "Sorry," He said looking anywhere, but at me, "I was just daydreamin'."

". . . Johnny, come here." He stares at me for a second, then he leans in cautiously. He probubly thought I was gonna hit him or somehting. When he got close enough, I made my move.

My lips crashed onto his and I didn't hesitate to force my tongue into his mouth. My arms were wrapped tightly around his neck, fingers intertwining with the hair hanging down his neck. When I finally pulled back, our lips disconnecting made a loud, high pitched sound. I gave him a small smile. . . but he just stared at me wide eyed. . .

. . . Oh no. . .

. . . Don't tell me. . .

My smile wavered and I looked away. "U-Uh," I croaked out, feeling a blush coming on, "Thats what you wanted. . . right?"

He stared at me for a few moments, still wide-eyed, then came to his senses and answered, "N-No Tim, I realy was daydreamin'! I wasn' hintin' at nothin'!" The was a touch of anger in his words, which made me tense up.

We sat in silence for a little while, until, "I'll see ya' later Tim, I gotta go." He picked up the little cat and started towards the door. Just before he walked out, he turned around and said with anger still hinting in his voice, "'Fore I ferget, Tim, there's gonna be a big rumble between us Greasers and the Socs next Friday. Darry wanted ta know if you and yer gang wanted in on it."

I just nod.

"Great." He mumbles sarcastically. "Oh and, Tim, I won't tell anybody 'bout this. . . But, if ya' ever pull somethin' like that again, I'll tell Dally." He said curtly, then dissapeared down the hallway.

Did he just threaten me? I thought. I thought I'd never, ever see the day where Johnny Cade - the gang's pet, the lost puppy, the boy afraid of his own shadow - would threaten annybody. I didn't know it was even possible for him to get mad at anybody.

I felt fresh hot tears spill from my eyes. My whole body was raking with heavy sobs.

. . . Why? . . . Why? Why do I always have to screw things up for myself? Why do I always do the wrong things? Trust the wrong people? Let people walk all over me? Why? Why am I so weak? Johnny's even stronger than me! He puts up with his dad beatin' him every day while I'm having a break down with my day being back for only a week and a half! So why? Why do I have to go through all of this torment? All of these mixed feelings? This huge load of stress? Just sit back and take all of this fucking hatred everyone around me throws my way? Was I not good enough? Did I do something wrong in my past life or something? Was my entire exsistence just a huge mistake, and now i'm paying the price for it?

*Cough* *Cough*

"W-What do you want?" I say in between sobs.

Oh, I just wanted to let you know how pathetic you look now.

"Th-Thanks."

You do know you realy are a complete mistake, right?

I let out a huge sob, "Y-Yes!"

Nobody's going to miss you when you die.

"I know!"

So why wait? Do you see those scissers sitting on that desk?

"Yes?"

Cut yourself with them now, and cut deep.

"Yes."

At the time, I didn't even realize what I was doing. But I was so overwhelmed with self-pity, self-hate, and, well, pretty much anything negative that was directed towards myself that I was vulnerable to her commands.

I grabbed the scissers off of the table quickly and fumble around with it in my hands. When I finally held it firmly in my hands, I held it shakely above my left wrist. Without another thought, I dug the sharp end deep into my wrist and swiftly cut across.

That's too deep, you idiot.

"Aaaahh!" Appearently, a nurse had just walked in when I cut myself. She ran out of the room to go tell the docter.

Shit.

I was bleeding out pretty bad. A huge deformed circle of red had already covered pretty much all of my bed sheets. I was feeling pretty sleepy.

So. I thought. This is how it's gonna end? . . . All well.

It's not over yet, Tim. You still have to realize a few more truths.

"What? More truths?" I yawned and lied down, ready to die, "What else could there be for me to find out? Like you said, 'I"m a poor, broke, pathetic, lowlife, hood.' I have nothing and nobody. No one will miss me when I die. The end."

You'r not going to die yet Tim, I'll tell you when you die.

"Yeah. . . Sure." I was struggling to stay conscious at this point, "Whatever you say GLaDOS."

Blackout.

You'r probubly thinking there's no way I could've lived. But. . . well that's kind of stupid 'cause I wouldn't be writing this if I did.