Fiends' Dinner
''Terah, could you hand me some more of that roast meat, please?''
''Sure, sure, sure Bulan!'' The entitled Goddess of Soil smiled blandly as she passed on a silver plate, which was generously filled with greasy pork. ''I know you're the biggest carnivore the Underworld has ever known, except for Cueraça perhaps...''
Cueraça wiped the corners of his mouth, a smug expression on his mask that showed a striking ressemblance with that of Dastardos.
''No one can exceed me on that point, no one! I might look skinny...'' the horrifiying creature stroked over its bulging ribcase ''...but I'm loaded with dead flesh and miserable souls...''
''Souls, you say?''
Afoti, the Goddess of natural disasters - volcanic eruptions in particular - thoughtfully ran a hand through her long, shiny hair.
Her mask, which depicted a strange crossing between a decayed corpse and a Sarsgorilla, was absolutely deterrent, but a beautiful face was certainly underneath. You could tell by the huge brown eyes peeking through the eyeholes as well as by her full pink lips.
''Yes. Souls.'' The God of Death took a drumstick and teared off the peppered chicken skin with his teeth.
''Where the hell do you get those?''
Afoti now took a drumstick as well, burrying her outragously long fingernails deep in the juicy, aromatic meat.
Cueraça grinned widely. ''I'd like to keep that one a secret... My source isn't infinite, you know. I'd rather not have you walking around stuffing that ugly maw of yours.''
Cueraça went back to his chicken. Afoti didn't touch hers.
Her terrifying mask clouded. She didn't agree with Cueraça's greediness. As Old Gods, forgotten by their people, they were a dying race, and in these hard times, sharing with each other was the least that they could do.
She knew better than to argue with the True Reaper though - arousing his anger was nothing but a death warrant.
Nobody seemed to notice Afoti's frustration, and it wasn't long until Cueraça raised his voice again.
''Before I forget to tell you, my comrades, I recently met the nicest demon... He's a Lizardi, his name is Ksi, I believe... Or... Tli... Lsi... Tsi... it doesn't even matter...''
''A Lizardi, you say?'' Bulan wiped the corners of his horrific mouth - his silver teeth were huge and he had a foul smile on his thin, blood-stained lips. ''Those dumb things usually are no use...''
''That is true'' Cueraça admitted. ''This one is different though...''
''What makes him stand out so much, then?'' Terah asked, as she was crunching on a handful of fried cockroaches.
The Soil Goddess prefered to eat insects over meat - small beasts that had crawled through the mud or had lived in the bark of dead trees were closer to her element.
''Ah, Terah, great question... One I will certainly enjoy answering.
He's an amazing little demon, only faithful to us; the True Gods. This is extra remarkable since he is from a relatively young generation... He has never experienced the Times of Worship, yet does he act as if he belongs in that lovely era and not in this shallow one...
Also, unlike most of his peers, he doesn't live in the world of the mortals. He despises those who've chosen what he calls 'the easy path'... And I couldn't agree more with him - living in a swamp or desert to catch a lost human or a big piñata from time to time isn't exactly proving your loyalty to your true masters...''
''Another army punk?'' Mze, the quiet Sun God asked in a jaded tone of voice.
''No, Sunny Boy, my minion is not a member of the army...''
''Great'' the deity with the round, golden mask answered. ''For a moment I thought you'd lost your mind...''
''Not at all, my dear friend'' grinned Cueraça. ''Can you please let me continue now?
Alright, so this Lizardi... He's sworen an oath that he'd slaughter every Young 'God', and every last follower they still have left. Now, now!'' Cueraça raised his black, mummified hands as Afoti's lovely lips had separated because she wanted to say something. ''Let me finish, please, brothers and sisters! I know what I'm talking about.
I would never bring this trifling little reptile up if I didn't see something special in him.
Let me tell you what he's done recently. As far as I'm concerned, it's only been a month...
My brave soldier is not much of an intellectual, neither is he very talented magically, but he's not illiterate and he somehow managed to get an old scroll somewhere...
It's called the Scroll of Exorcism, I believe...''
''I've written that one'' Afoti snorted. ''Not a very hard one to execute properly...''
''But it is a very ingenious spell, Afoti'' Cueraça tried to blarney her. ''It is. And ehm, to finally get to my point...'' The God of Death took a small sip of his wine. ''... you would never believe who my favorite demon managed to take possession of...''
''Jardineiro!'' Mze guessed randomly. ''Or ehm... Willy B!''
Bulan rose a sparse brow. ''Who's the last guy?''
''Seedos!'' Terah hissed spitefully, ignoring Bulan's comment. She really felt an intense hate for that seed boy.
''Don't be stupid! He's got that super hero bitch! Or if not; Professor Pester!''
''Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong!'' Cueraça giggled. Your last guess was pretty close though, miss Afoti!''
''Who? Who can it... Oh... Wow. That's impressive.'' A blank expression spreaded across the Goddess' mask. It had just dawned on her what a random, filthy bog monster had achieved...
''I know right?'' The True Reaper chuckled in such a way a proud daddy would.
''For... for how long?'' asked Afoti, still pretty stunned.
''Not for too long, I'm afraid.'' Cueraça frowned. ''Only a few hours... A bumbling idiot in a monkey suit managed to stab Dastardos' body with a sort of magic-device-staff-thing, and the demon's soul was extruded soon after -''
''Wait... Hold up... It's Dastardos we're talking about?'' Bulan's bulgy eyes got even bigger, and his voice started to tremble. ''Does this mean that... D-dastardos is a sort of d-deity, r-right? Does this mean that he can al-al-also...''
''Platia? I'm not sure.'' Cueraça shook his head.
''It has to be possible, Raça, why not?'' Bulan still wanted to take revenge on the skinny, diefied Priestress. She once used to worship him, but when she found out how bad Bulan was to his actual people, she broke with his cult and ran away with a group of crazy colored Mallowolves and her little God-friend Suelos to start her own religion.
Which were unforgivable acts, and a stigma on the community of Bulan's proud and loyal Templars.
''However, he didn't try it on Platia, he tried it on Dastardos. The youngling wants another war...''
Afoti snickered dryly, and Mze wondered: ''A war? That just can't end well, I mean, business is good as it is now.'' To demonstrate how good business was for him, the Sun God took a big, greasy spare rib from the spit on which he gnawed contently. ''I don't see a reason to go out fighting...''
''Hmm...'' Terah wasn't so sure about that. She wrinkled her forehead - which was of course unseen because she was wearing a mask - but her pensive expression didn't elude to the ever curious Bulan.
''A roasted beetle for your thoughts...''
''Now... you wouldn't believe this, but some mortals are actually expecting a war.''
''Seriously?'' Now Afoti's attention was drawn as well. Cueraça wasn't sure what to think of Terah's comment, and he could just resist letting out a little skeptical laugh.
''Do I look like I'm joking. Naw.'' Terah agilely catched the roasted insect Bulan tossed at her, and after she'd devoured it, she continued: ''It all started with the re-appearance of a few long-extinct piñatas and the arrival of a new girl to the Island... It all is rather vague, but I do think that we need to keep an eye on the latest developments... Just to be sure.''
''New girl? What new girl?'' Afoti asked suspiciously.
''And what extinct piñatas?'' Bulan hissed. If the Canda, the ancient Mallowolf tribe that had helped Platia to plot his downfall, had returned, then he'd show those paper doggies what he was made of this time around.
Terah ignored Bulan's question though, ''Her name is Ameena.''
''Her name is... Is that all you know about her..?''
''She's from the mainland. She's a fairly talented gardener. She seems... ugh... sweet.'' The Dark God wrinkled her nose. She really didn't have a thing for sweet.
''Is she powerful?'' asked Afoti eagerly, as if she could make the girl's power hers.
Which she probably could...
''I suppose so. My demon says we should be on our guard for her, but I personally don't really see her as a threat...''
''We didn't see Dastardos as a threat either, but now the damned skeleton has taken the place of Raça!'' Afoti huffed.
''He hasn't taken my place, sister'' Cueraça chuckled. ''He reaps piñatas for their life candy... I reap old, suffering souls.
Besides, this Ameena can't be anything like Dastardos. Do you hear what I say? It is impossible for her toeven beanything like Dastardos.''
''How do you know? She has triggered the return of the Canda wolves and the Kelele, hasn't she?''
''I knew it!'' Bulan exclaimed. ''You're DEAD, Canda, you're all DEAD...''
''The Kelele? Haha, you must be joking! Those 'intelligent' piñatas are trifling as hell... Do you guys remember the talking bat, Chamkele? I beat him up and teared off his wings not even that long ago...''
''That Chamkele's is one soft idiot...'' Bulan, who apparently had forgotten his anger towards the Canda already, smiled and said: ''I don't know what you are even trying to stress, Terah. The return of those piñatas just gives us... you know... extra playtime!''
His smile grew even wider when he thought of all the ways he could torture the paper wolves and bats.
''I think we should trust Cueraça's demon on this one'' Afoti mumbled vacantly, ignoring the delighted Moon God. ''Just to be sure.''
''COME ON, 'Foti!''
''Bulan, ZIP IT'' Terah snarled. ''Afoti's right, if you ask me. What do you think, mister Reaper?''
''Hmm, I agree'' Cueraça pouted. ''I hate to say this, but a single girl bringing the Island's entire atmosphere out of balance, is indeed suspicious.''
''As I said before...'' Terah said in an unbelievably soft voice ''... a war is coming. There's a small movement of Villagers who want war.''
''Are they dangerous?'' Mze asked, with a slightly concerned expression on his golden mask. ''I don't want the Religious Revolution to repeat itself...''
Mze could still recall how brutely he was deprivated from his throne. See, Mze wasn't as much of an evil being as he seemed to be.
The Sun God actually was a good guy who really wanted best for his people. The thing was, his brothers and sisters, his fellow Gods, had a huge influence on him. Gradually, he had started to like to do the dark stuff; drinking the blood of sacrificed virgins, letting great gladiators fight until death in his arena, cutting of the limps of either guilty or innocent prisoners...
Eventhough he knew in the back of his mind that it was horrible, those things had become his entertainment. He blamed his bad genes for that. Besides, he had to survive the endless, boring afternoons somehow.
''What I don't get'' Afoti murmured ''is what these humans want to fight for. They've got what they wanted; we don't rule over them anymore and we only take the lives of those who get lost in the rainforest.''
''I was wondering as well...'' Cueraça rubbed his long, bony hands. ''When we created the humans, we didn't program them with the desire to fight for fun...''
Bulan shrugged. ''We never programmed that rebelly-thing either.''
''True, true. Hmm...'' The unthinkable had happened; Bulan had convinced Cueraça of the seriousness of a situation. ''Brothers, sisters, we should soon take precautions. Who knows what these mortals are upto? We can't let another overthrow happen like that; in fact, I think that we should ruin the human civilazation before it is too late! Let's not take dangerous ever risks again...''
''I have taken certain precautions already, Raç.'' Terah giggled self-sufficiently. ''I've sent out the Plamenye - aren't you familiar with those demons, Mze? - to set the houses of certain, suspicious mortals on fire... It's nothing big, but I think it serves well as a warning.''
Cueraça laughed. ''I'm proud of you, my sister! Thinking ahead, as always...''
Terah's cheeks began to glow. The God of Death hardly ever gave away compliments.
''Now, let's throw in the second question'' Cueraça continued ''and probably a more accurate one... Would our victory in the Religious Rollback be an opportunity to bring back our Old Regime?''