Isn't it big? And huge? This one is kinda the biggie in terms of Rose and Nikola and Helen. I do hope it explains some of the questions that have been posed. As some of you may have figured from my replies to reviews, I'm rather fond of this chapter. It's not my best work but it's more the writing of it that I'm proud of. It took a while and much tweaking but this one has been in the works since I came up with the story line.

Also, can anyone pick the crazy fangirl? Yeah, you'll get that later in this chapter... :P

xx

PS: The full title of this chapter is "The Truth Doesn't Really Set You Free (Even if that was your goal all along)" but it won't all fit :(

For what felt like eternity, the only sounds came from the pub below. Even the bystanders held their breath, waiting for Nikola to say something, anything to break the silence. Helen briefly wondered if they'd resorted to mentally screaming at each other but, as the door to the room swung open and Rose came striding out confidently, she reassessed that thought. Not looking any of them in the eye, Rosie didn't break her stride, continuing through the small group and down the stairs, disappearing below. And then it hit her, Rose didn't even look remotely surprised to see them standing in the hallway. Eyes widening in understanding, Helen ignored the questioning gaze of her team, spun on her heel and booked it down the stairs.

Damn her and her melodramatic tendencies to hell, Helen cursed internally. She may not have the full story but Helen was pretty certain she didn't need it. She'd known Rosie for long enough to have a fair idea of why she allowed herself to release such personal information in not only a language that everyone could understand but at such a volume. More than that, why she'd acted so unprofessionally whilst on an important mission. Damn it, she cursed once more, looking around the rather sparse room that constituted both a lobby and entrance way for the pub. Rose was gone. A quick survey of the pub told Helen that her friend hadn't returned to the rather unattractive room which left only one alternative.

Wishing she'd had the foresight to grab a coat, Helen walked to the front door, wondering just how far she'd have to go this time. Stepping out into the brisk evening, Helen was surprised to find her old friend barely a hundred metres from the front door. She was sitting in the doorway of the nearest shop, shoulders slumped, hands braced on either side of her, legs stretched out in front of her. The stoop on which she sat, although plainly visible from the front of the inn, was dark enough and tucked away enough that, from the small window of the room in which they were meant to be staying she wouldn't be visible.

Before she'd taken more than two steps down the dirt road towards the ramshackle building, Rosie's head lifted, eyes connecting with Helen's, small smile wavering on her lips. She shuffled to the side slightly, making room for Helen, wrapping her arms around her knees as she drew them to her chest.

"You're in a mood," Helen commented, her boots crunching on the gravel.

"Quite," Rose sniffed, ducking her head to the side as Helen got closer. Helen chuckled weakly before coming to a stop in front of the other woman. Rose looked up at her, a defiant gleam in her eye as she wiped away a single bright red tear on her cheek. Letting out a heavy sigh and shaking her head, Helen eased herself down to the small space beside her old friend. The two sat in silence for a moment, staring up into the inky sky above them.

"It's cold out," Rose commented softly, breaking the semi silence that had fallen over them.

"Get's that way at night," Helen said, sneaking a glance at her friend.

Rosie sighed, shifting slightly so that she was a little further away from Helen.

"Are you going to tell me why?"

Rose turned her head to the side, laying her temple on her knees as she made a face.

"Has it happened yet?" she asked in return.

"Firstly, I asked first and secondly, has what happened?" Helen quipped, making Rose smile faintly.

"I guess not then," she said, turning back to look out across the small street.

"You know I haven't got a clue what you're talking about, right?" Helen said and Rose chuckled.

"There will come a time Helen, when you feel that you must hide away from the world for fear of being too much of an influence and when that happens, come find me. You mustn't hide from me," she said softly.

"Ah, being purposely cryptic then? I can work with that," Helen allowed, getting a mite frustrated by the lack of answers she was receiving. "If you immediately know the candle light is fire, then the meal was cooked a long time ago."

Rose laughed softly for a moment.

"You cannot tell the depth of the river, until you see the bottom," Rose announced somewhat grandly, earning herself a soft chuckle.

"Don't run with scissors?" Helen tried and, with a giggle, Rose shuffled over to lean against Helen's side.

"Something as simple as 'the early bird catches the worm' probably would have worked too," Rose quipped, using her shoulder to nudge Helen lightly.

"I was never one for such elaborate turns of phrase," she responded with a smile and Rosie chuckled before a much more comfortable yet still strained silence fell over them.

Helen could feel Rosie's presence in her mind so she knew all the questions she had to ask and all the assumptions she'd already made but Rose was making no attempt to answer or clarify anything. Instead she was passively observing Helen's reaction to her lack of reaction which, considering the way in which these inquiries were usually conducted, gave Helen cause for alarm.

"Are you going to answer my question?" she asked. After having asked mentally several times and receiving no response, her last ditch effort was somewhat desperate and a measure she'd never before had to use.

"Lightning flashes, sparks showers, in one blink of an eye, you have missed seeing," Rose said softly, moving away and severing the majority of their body contact.

"Can we stop with the metaphors?" Helen asked, turning slightly so that she could look at the smaller woman.

"This would all be easier if it had happened for you," Rose muttered under her breath, brows furrowing in frustration.

"But it hasn't. So unless you're going to explain your cryptic statement, I'm going to need you to actually use your words."

Rose turned and gave Helen a sad smile.

"You know why," she said softly, turning away once more. Sensing that she was about to get up and leave, Helen reached out and grabbed her shoulder, making sure that she stayed put.

Rose shot her a quizzical look but, after a beat, relaxed back a little, stretching out to look up at the sky once more.

"Nights like this, when I was little, my father used to take me out into the middle of the field to show me the stars," she said softly, eyes glazed over in memory. "We'd just lie on our backs and watch the sky, drawing connections between them to make pictures. I remember when I first moved to the city after I was married off, him telling me that, if I ever felt lonely, all I had to do was sit out on the balcony and draw pictures in the stars and he'd be with me."

"I never knew you were married," Helen whispered, clutching onto one of the several pieces of information she'd never heard before.

"I think I was maybe 17 at the time," Rose said, wrinkling her nose as she tried to remember. "I don't remember my husband terribly well, only that he was much older than me but very nice none the less."

Again silence fell only this time Helen did not feel the need to fill it. Rose was obviously working up to a point and she wasn't about to try and knock her off course.

"It's odd, I have all these odd memories of my life, bits and pieces about my brothers and a woman who I think was my mother but, amongst all this, I can't find my actual name," she said softly, annoyance colour her tone. "From the moment I was reborn I remember everything. In varying levels of detail, of course but if I search, it's all there. But with this..." she said, gesturing vaguely before sighing once more.

"And you know what's even more odd? It's only been in the years since I met you and your boys that I actually wanted to know what my name was." She said it with a smile but her sadness was clear. "Until I met you, I didn't actually care about my humanity or who I was. I might have had children for heaven's sake and I wouldn't have a clue!" It was Helen's turn to smile a bittersweet smile. Long ago, shortly after Ashley was born they'd discussed children and Rose had admitted, though she'd certainly tried, she didn't think she could have children. She'd said that, to the best of her knowledge, none of her sisters had ever had children and, as such, her hopes weren't high. Of course Helen had offered to run the necessary tests but Rose had declined, saying that she'd settle for being Ashley's crazy aunt instead.

"I miss her too," Rosie said quietly, interrupting Helen's thoughts and they both smiled softly once more. The two girls had always been close, regardless of Helen and Rosie's somewhat unconventional relationship. She'd been by Helen's side when she'd been in labour, had stayed up to help with late night feedings and, as Ashley had grown up, Rose had worked to help Helen control the headstrong young girl. The two had been close friends and, whenever Ashley had been furious at her mother, Rose, when she'd been around, had talked the girl down from whichever homicidal rage had taken over her.

It had been strange when Ashley began to look older than Rose but Rose had never been deterred. No matter what she stood her ground, maintaining that air of authority that had always been hers. She'd always managed to tread that fine line between friend and parental figure but always cited that, no matter what, Helen's word was law.

Once or twice Rosie had expressed concerns that she was overstepping the boundaries but, in all honesty, Helen had enjoyed having someone else to help on occasion. Rose's visits were sporadic and followed no kind of routine but whenever she was needed, she was there.

"Don't go getting all nostalgic on me," Rose quipped, breaking into her stream of thought but the joke fell flat as she gave a strained smile. "I thought you wanted an answer."

"I do," Helen said carefully, not looking at Rose. There was a pause as Rose drew in a deep breath.

"My point was that, until I met you, I never really felt the need to be anything more than the creature hell bent on destroying any remains of the vampires. Sure I bowed to tradition, marrying here and there as a way to survive but never had I actually wanted to be tied down." She spoke quickly, as if forcing the words out with awkward gesticulations. There was much Helen wanted to say but, sensing that Rose wasn't dabbling in her mind, she remained quiet, counting on the girl's need to fill the silence.

"You made me feel human, Helen. And that is something for which I can never thank you enough," she said quietly, looking over at Helen shyly. "I owe you much more than my life, Helen and to think that I... that I am knowingly hurting you, knowingly stopping you from being happy..." she trailed off, sounding faintly disgusted with herself.

Silence fell once more and Helen sensed that Rose was not going to be forthcoming with any more information.

"I still don't understand," Helen said quietly. "What does that have to do with you picking a fight with Nikola?"

"It has everything to do with it," Rose answered sadly, propping her chin on her knees once more.

Helen puzzled over the situation silently for a moment. None of it made sense. Rose and Nikola had always worked well together, they were the perfect counterpoint to the other's faults. Why Rose would essentially tell Nikola that none of their past meant anything to her-.

"Oh."

"Exactly."

"You're trying to let him go."

Rose sniffed delicately, biting her lip as she studiously ignored Helen's gaze. She sighed softly and then it was Helen's turn to bite her lip. She was trying to let him go, trying to push him away so that he'd-

"Stop mucking around and actually tell you how he feels," Rosie finished softly. Helen looked over at her friend with a heavy heart before reaching out to lay a hand lightly on her arm.

"You don't have to do this. There's no point to it Rose. Nikola and I..."

"No!" Rose said, jerking away from Helen as she glared at her angrily. "No, don't you do this! Don't pretend Helen, don't try and tell me you don't care about him the way he cares about you."

"Of course I care about him," Helen said soothingly. "Nikola is one of my oldest and closest friends and I care about him deeply but that's all there is to it. There can't be any more to it."

"God you're so stubborn!" Rose huffed, turning away from Helen once more. "Bloody sadist..."

Helen was unable to hold back a chuckle at that. "And what exactly would that make you?"

"Deranged."

And with that, all the tension evaporated, leaving the two laughing under their breath at their antics.

"We are a twisted pair, aren't we?" Rose asked as the laughter subsided.

"You more than me," Helen said with a smirk. Rose scoffed and shoved Helen before grinning broadly.

"Just you wait," Rose said. "I'd bet anything that when you're as old as me, your sanity will start to go just the same."

"And by then, you'll be so out of it that you won't be able to poke fun at me because of it."

"Are you two going to sit out here all night?" a voice from the door way called and both women twisted to peer through the night at whoever had interrupted their conversation.

"We're coming Johnny, have no fear," Rose called back before hauling herself and offering Helen a hand. With one last unguarded smile Rose turned and started to stroll back towards the inn, Helen trailing behind ever so slightly. She was surprised when Rose sauntered past John without so much as a word and, considering John was still watching her, she gathered no mental words were traded either.

"Helen I-," John began as she walked past him.

"Go to bed John," she said softly, giving him a small smile before walking to where Rose was waiting by the stairs. She had little doubt he'd heard most of their conversation but right now she had no intentions of dealing with the possessiveness she'd begun to tire of. Together she and Rose walked slowly up to the dark corridor down which their room was. As they reached the top, Rose paused for a moment, looking to Helen in fear. Helen smiled softly and gave the other woman a small push down the corridor.

"It'll be fine," she said quietly and Rose chuckled half heartedly.

"It's a good thing I don't need sleep," she quipped, as they walked the rest of the way down the corridor. Helen had expected her to hesitate once more but, as her hand landed on the door knob she twisted it and pushed the door open decisively. Nikola, it seemed, had been awaiting their return and was standing, arms crossed, dark look on his face in front of the window.

Helen opened her mouth to try and placate the still fuming vampire but, before she could get a word out, Rose was striding across the room, coming to a stop inches from Nikola. There was a moment of silent communication as Nikola uncrossed his arms and then they were kissing softly. Rose's hands on his shoulders, Nikola's tangled in her hair, holding her close. With the moon as the only source of light in the room, the embrace seemed, to Helen, intensely romantic and over rode the sharp pain in her gut the sight caused. Just as suddenly as it started, the kiss ended and Rose stepped away from Nikola who was looking a bit dazed.

Sorry, Rose said with a sheepish smile as she grabbed Nikola's hand, pulling him over to the bed. Turning from him, Rose climbed onto the middle of the bed, kicking off her boots as she settled on top of the thin blanket.

"Come on," she groused, gesturing to Helen before twisting to grab Nikola, pulling him down to the bed.

Helen raised her eyebrows in silent question but, as Rose gave her a small smile, she gave in, stripping off her thin jacket and boots before lying down next to Rose. As Rose reached over and wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling them closer together, Helen smiled. It was not the first time the three of them had slept like this and something about it was faintly reminiscent of that first night back they had met. Rose had been given her own room but, shortly after Helen had jumped into her own bed, the girl had crept into the room, dragging a rather confused looking Nikola behind her. Without a word she'd poked Helen until she rolled over enough to allow both her and Nikola enough space to curl up and sleep.

"Only back then, you weren't nearly so easy to persuade," Rose whispered with a chuckle.

"Could you both be quiet, some of us actually do need sleep," Nikola muttered and Helen felt rather than heard Rosie's laughter.

"Sorry Nikki, we'll let you get your beauty rest."

Nikola grumbled and growled but snuggled closer to the pair of them, one hand creeping about until he found Helen's, taking a hold of it tight.

Although she didn't really feel tired, Helen soon found it hard to keep her eyes open as a small yawn slipped through her lips.

"Don't fight it Helen, you need to rest," Rose whispered and that was the last thing Helen heard before she slipped into a surprisingly deep sleep.

So, yeah, no resolution but I hope that maybe clears a bit of it up... Hopefully? Maybe? Possibly not... And 'stache cookies to all who pick out what my fangirlyness did to that chapter :P