Battlefield
BOOM BOOM BOOM!
Jardineiro grumbled. Someone was knocking on the back door... It probably was Leafos, who should've been home by this time of day already, and if she'd still been a minor he would've grounded her for two weeks for letting him have dinner by himself.
Leafos could be such an egoistic girl from time to time... She knew he didn't expect any guests today, and she also knew he always felt lonely around dinnertime.
BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM!
The knocks on the door became more violent, panicky almost.
''Sure Leafos,'' Jardineiro muttered. ''That girl doesn't care about her poor old father, but when she gets afraid of the nocturnal shadows, I have to serve her needs immediately and open the door ASAP! Hmph...''
Suddenly, her smothered voice sounded from the other side of the woodwork. ''Daddy! Please! Let me in! Afoti and Cueraça...''
''Argh, she must be drunk... ''
''Daddy!'' the girl screamed again, more shrill now.
''ALRIGHT!'' Jardineiro shouted back. ''Coming, jeez... Please respect the neighbours' rest...''
The closest neighbours lived half a kilometer ahead, in the Village, yet Jardineiro thought his daughter's outcries were audible around there.
With an annoyed sigh, Jardineiro opened the door.
''Daddy!'' his daughter said, her mask wet with tears, ''something terrible has happened... P-put on something warm, and -''
''What in the world is going on? Are you in your right mind or -''
''They have Ameena.'' The girl shivered. ''Afoti and Cueraça. They are trying to kill her right this moment... Jeimiña, yes dad, the Jeimiña, is trying to give rise to the other Young Gods and Bart's told me to get you to the battlefield immediately... I don't know what he's thinking, but he said it was important that you'd come and -''
''No worry, I'll come. I think I know enough.''
''But -''
''It's dangerous, bladeebladeebla, I know! I'm an old man, Leafos. I've lived a full life. If I must die to safe a young girl tonight, so be it. I'd rather die as a hero in a fight with malicious deities, than as a random elderly guy with a pneumonia.
Can you even imagine how much more Legendary I'd become? Hah, I wouldn't wanna miss out on that... You don't get the chance to kick some Old God's ass everyday, either...''
''So... you go?'' Leafos asked, slightly surprised by her father's courageous little speech.
''Yes!'' Jardineiro practically cheered. ''How about you?''
''I have to be present, in case anyone gets hurt and needs nursing,'' Leafos said, her eyes full of fear. ''We can't reach Doc Patch...''
''No wonder, that douche's no good!'' Her father rolled his eyes. ''He's one big Flossy! Now, jump on my wheelchair, my brave daughter. It's got a turbo mode. Have you alerted Storkos yet?''
Right when Leafos wanted to tell her dad Storkos was on a egg delivering mission on the other side of the Island, the wheelchair she was standing on the footstool of, lunged forward with 120 miles per hour.
''Jardineiro to the rescue!" she believed she heard her father exclaim, which made her realize whom Storkos had inherited her 'supahero genes' from.
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''Let it be quick and painless,'' Ameena prayed to the only God she considered True at that specific moment, knowing that even that God wouldn't be able to safe her. She had made herself as small as she could as was hiding behind a one-meter high desert rock. Afoti was still furious, which she expressed by shooting firey spheres in the girls' direction.
''Shh. It is not over yet,'' Chamkele whispered in his slightly unnatural sonar voice as he perched on her shoulder. ''There still is hope.''
Ameena started to sob. ''No there isn't!'' she cried. ''It's over, it's -''
''Aha, there you are!'' Afoti grimaced and tried to create another bullet of fire, when something that looked like a thunderbolt appeared from the direction of Ameena's garden.
''Jardineiro...'' Ameena could've sworn she heard Dastardos mutter, and when the object came to a standstill a few seconds later, the reaper was proved right. Much to Ameena's surprise, Leafos was there too, her mask pale and her knees buckling as she stared at Afoti and Cueraça.
''Hmph,'' the latter huffed. ''An old, retired gardener and his craven daughter are no threat to us...''
''Oh, but we're not the only opponents you will meet tonight, Raça,'' Jardineiro chuckled sardonically. ''The Gods that I call true are on their ways. Jeimiña is evoking them in her rainforest temple at the very moment.''
''You fool.'' It was Cueraça's turn to snigger scornfully now. ''Has it ever crossed your mind that we, The Greatest of Gods, have taken precautions? It is impossible for Jeimiña to contact Platia, Suelos or whoever. We have shut down her so-called 'channels of light' for the entire night. The only ones that can invoke reinforcement are We, and We will get it in about three... two -''
Before Cueraça was even finished counting, a lava-colored and a silver portal appeared next to each other.
Sweat began to drip down Dastardos' forehead. He knew who were about to arrive and found the prospect of battling them with only Ameena as his fellow half-God quite alarming...
Ameena thought she'd lose it when she saw who stepped out of the omnious portals.
Bulan, the barbarous yet refined God of the Moon, and a lady that was likely Terah, a thin, barefooted creature that was the former Goddess of Soil...
''Damn!'' Ameena sent a frightened cry into the world.
''Indeed. You are damned,'' Cueraça said with a content smile. ''You all are damned.''
''I wouldn't be so self-assured if I were you!'' Jardineiro pointed at two small dots that were quickly nearing the battlefield. They came from the direction of the rainforest.
''Bart and Gretchen!'' Chamkele practically cheered. ''I knew they would come!''
''Thanks for relying so much on us, BigBat,'' Gretchen panted as she'd come within hearing distance. ''By the way, look at you... You'd be quite a hunting trophy...''
She winked at Chamkele, which made the dark purple confetti on his cheeks turn a deep shade of red. ''Oh, why... thanks...''
''I have seen enough of this nonsense!'' a tart voice sounded.
Terah giggled venomously and used her magical capabilities to pull a pricklebush from a desert dune without having to touch it. It always was a pleasure to launch an incredibly painful bywork to a human.
All of a sudden, the deity discontinued her assault. Bart and Gretchen immediately took advantage of this. They took out their weapons - which turned out to be a long saber for the tinkerer and a lightweight shotgun for the huntress - and screamed incohesive threats at Bulan, who was approaching them imminently now.
The thing that had caught Terah's attention was scooting upto the soont-to-be-murder-scene, heavily panting carrying a big, rusty shovel.
''Seedossss...'' Terah hissed evilly.
''That's me.'' The seed boy chuckled nervously.
''Seedos! I'm so glad you came! A little surprised too, I must admit...'' Bart frowned, waved his saber at the still approaching Bulan again and then asked: ''How did you know that we're in tr... are having slight difficulties handling the situation?''
''My seeds told me so,'' Seedos simply answered. ''They told me to come armed too.''
He gave his spade a proud pat.
''I will show you what to do with that spade,'' Terah cried out, storming upon her new target while a red haze was hindering her sight. Seedos' mention of the seeds had aroused her rage. She couldn't stand the blue-haired kid.
Before Seedos' second birthday, the seeds had always obeyed her, and seeing her precious babies getting adopted by a foreign daddy really crippled her rotten heart.
''You will see...''
The tall Goddess tried to trick out the shorter boy's shovel, but Seedos made an unexpectingly slick move and kept his only weapon out of the hands of his opponent. To top that off, he used the weatherworn gardening tool to thrust Terah right in the liver.
That would've been a huge disgrace to the deity if her fellow Gods had been watching, but luckily for her they'd gotten tied up in fights as well now.
With a distorted grin on her orange, bird of paradise-flower-representing mask, the terrifying Goddess spit some disturbingly red blood out.
''Want to play rough?'' she panted. ''You will get rough...''
From the place in the sand her blood had just stained, an enormous, monsterous-looking poison ivy arose.
It grew faster than Seedos had ever seen a plant grow, and despite it being a weed, the plant looked absolutely amazing. The seed boy could just hold in the urge to touch its poisonous leaves and caress the masterpiece...
Terah growled. Apparently, not everything went as desired for her...
Seedos couldn't see the problem at first - the woman had grown the most awesome plant he'd ever seen in wee seconds - but then he realized that the gigantic plant was supposed to kill him...
''Yes! Yes, good boy!'' Terah lunatically screamed as the weed bowed towards Seedos.
''No, not a good boy!'' Seedos thoughtlessly said, and to the surprise of both the seed-lovers, the plant backed off again. ''It's not okay to attack people. And she's a girl, anyway...''
''You...'' The Goddess of Soil started to make the most franctic gestures as the seed whisperer continued talking to the colossal plant.
''You don't have to obey her if you don't want to, Ivy.'' The plant made an odd neighing noise. ''I know being slavishly is not in your nature... Yes... Yes, of course, we can have a chat whenever you want! I'm not so good at small talk, though...''
In the meantime, only a few meters away from the ridiculous scene with the plant, the two reapers were standing mask to identical mask.
''How nice it is to finally meet my... what should I even call you?''
''Your swagger jacker?'' Dastardos asked innocently.
''Hmph,'' the Old God sniffed. ''The way the youth talks nowadays... It is all abracadabra to me!''
''Shall I show you some real abracadabra?'' Dastardos couldn't help but smile misschievously. He wasn't afraid of Cueraça. He had taken over his profession a long time ago and he hadn't felt any serious consequences so far.
Cueraça's powers solely consisted of the ability to reap the soul out of one's body, which only applied on mortals. He couldn't take anything of a guy that was capable of doing the exact same thing!
Dastardos had more powers apart from reaping, though, and he knew that those would prove handy now that he was being confronted with his very worst enemy.
The half-God took a deep breath, floated up a little higher and lifted his head at the direction of the ink black sky. His eyes rolled away, and now that only the whites were seen, his good eye started to ressemble his bad one.
''What do you think -''
Cueraça fell silent again. A seemingly magical field of sparks had gathered around Dastardos. What they did, consisted of and came from were for Dastardos to know and for Cueraça to guess...
The God of Death gulped. The young cub he'd always considered subordinate to him, seemed to possess something so out of both the Universe's worlds...
All Cueraça could think of was how bad he wanted to possess that strange power too.
''This is something my... corruption has given me...'' the piñata reaper whispered hoarsely when the strange magical reaction had faded away. He was still glowing as he slowly descended, aborting his landing when his mask was at about the same height as Cueraça's.
''Interesting,'' the older deity admitted. ''Ve-ry interesting... But not efficient enough to kill or even hurt me, I am afraid... You might try, though. Go ahead.''
Only a split second later, a set of damask red sparks were fired into Cueraça's direction. By semi-nonchalantly turning his torso away, the God of Death succesfully avoided the hot plasma or whatever it was, which prevented him from ending up as a set of disjointed bones.
He moved his face closer to Dastardos'. ''Dissappointed you will not see me scattered around the field tonight?'' he jeered. He grinned hatefully and then he quickly drew in his scythe, a deadly move that could even smart Dastardos.
Much to Cueraça's annoyance, he just missed the smaller and quicker guy, whose turn it was to crack a scornful smile now. ''You won't win this with a silly cutting tool, God of the Mowing Process'' he assured his enemy in a sugary voice.
''I think I will, actually'' Cueraça said thoughtfully. ''I could at least try to...''
With those words, he lashed out at Dastardos again, their long awaited duel continuing, both reapers having equally much potential to win from their adversary.
The fight between Afoti and her opponents was a whole lot less likely to end well for the mortal side, though. Ameena and Gretchen - both sweating profusely - were still dodging the Godess' all-destroying balls of fire.
''Give it up, ladies, for I, the Goddess Afoti, will not give in...''
''Gretchen, we need to make a plan,'' Ameena wheezed as they timorously hid behind a six-flowered cactus.
''Tell me about it!'' the huntress sighed. She had left Bart behind with Bulan when she noticed how Ameena was anxiously attempting to dodge the deity's attacks.
Luckily, Jardineiro had been wanting to take her place next to the Tinkerer - the two men now were fighting the Moon God side by side at the center of the battleground.
The two women had already tried to shoot the Goddess with Gretchen's shotgun, but Afoti had just jerked the bullet out of her leg while cackling as if nothing had happened.
The place in her tigh the bullet had hit her didn't bleed - there was nothing to be seen that even indicated a wound of some sort.
'Human weapons do not scathe me, idiots,' she had told her baffled attackers, whose legs had started to shake uncontrollably. 'Yet I know they can harm you...'
Wearing a spiteful smile on her Sarsgorrila mask, the Goddess threw the bullet back. The projectile reached such a high speed it had the same impact as if fired out of a gun, if not bigger.
''If we only knew one of her weaknesses...''
''I doubt if she has any,'' Gretchen grumbled as the cactus they hid behind ignited in flames.
''Of course she has!'' Ameena gasped as the two sprinted to the next cactus. ''Everyone has weaknesses...''
''She's not a someone, she's a something,'' Gretchen answered in her normal voice. She was in a much better physical condition than Ameena, or than pretty much anyone on the Island. ''I mean, she practices cannibalism...''
''You've got a point...'' Ameena murmured. Then, she threw herself on the ground to evade another firey sphere. ''I guess we won't live to see another sunrise then...''
The mirthless depth of what she'd just said didn't even fully get through to Ameena. Before she could ponder about what she would've wanted to tell her family and the people who were risking their lives on the battlefield for her now, Gretchen sighed: ''Never say never. Let's just hope that we can parry her attacks for a little longer - eventually, someone more magically talented might come and help us...''
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Even though all Villagers and half-Gods were stubbornly fighting against the death the Old Deities were more than willing to grant them, that what would determine the battle's outcome happened at the middle of the field, where Bart and Jardineiro were taking on Bulan.
Although the two guvs usually didn't get along that well during everyday life, they were a golden match in combat. They both possessed a power they must've inherited from a long-forgotten forefather - who likely wasn't a God from the Island at all, but rather a Celtic druid or an old-English magician. Jardineiro and Bart both had roots in the what's called the United Kingdom nowadays.
The magical talent that was given them, was the fine art of telekinesis, the might to move objects with the mind. They both hadn't praciced their powers in a while, but with all the magic in the air the Gods had brought from the Neragua and the frightening sight of those macabre Gods themselves, both men knew that the chances of executing their ablities well were pretty high.
The problem wasn't potency. It was the fact that the two couldn't consult with each other without Bulan overhearing the stragety that was supposed to bring his downfall.
The Moon God roared monsterously. He had just used his divine powers to cause a sandstorm, which left the old Jardineiro who hadn't been quick enough to put a scarf around his mask having the worst coughing fit.
Bulan grinned complacently. He would win this stupid fight against those trifling mortals, he was sure.
Those men had seen their better days, while he, the powerful deity of the moon was still in the prime of his life.
''I... will...'' Cough, cough. ''... revenge...''
The Moon God let out an amused chuckle.
''Don't waste your breath on that despicable creature,'' Bart told Jardineiro. He had hurried towards the retired gardener to give him some necessary pats on the back, while scowling at the evil deity. ''You don't want a scurry of dust to kill you, right? Would you grant that scumbag such pleasure?''
Jardineiro shook his head as he continued coughing, and Bart saw a chance to unnotedly discuss a plan with his ally.
''Jardineiro,'' he whispered in the ex-gardener's ear as he pretended to rub the old man's shoulder. ''Any idea how we could defeat this fat, horrid, Neraguan thing?''
''Te... lekinesis...'' Jardineiro wheezed quietly.
''Yes, of course... but what could we do with it? I don't see anything around here heavy enough to harm him or his malicious siblings...''
''L-leafos...''
''Leafos?''
Jardineiro broke out in coughing again. The sandstorm hadn't done his lungs much good - that idiot of a Bulan probably was more cunning than he seemed.
''Leafos what?'' Bart asked again, more compelling this time. ''What about Leafos?''
''The other day... she told me... about... comet...''
''Oh! Yes. Of course.''
Leafos wasn't the only Villager who had heart for astronomy. Bart the Tinkerer enjoyed keeping track of astronomical activity through a telescope just as much as Jardineiro's daughter. He hadn't kept up with his hobby in a while, though - since that night he'd fled to Jeimiña's temple, he'd been so busy that he hadn't even dedicated a single thought to the stars.
Yet, he could recall a discovery he'd done about a month ago. According to his observations and calculations, a comet would fly extremely close by the Bermuda Triangle some day at the end of May. That discovery had delighted him very much - other than his annual firework shows at New Year's Eve, good light shows were very rare on Piñata Island!
''There...'' Jardineiro raucously whispered, as he pointed up at the now moonless sky.
''Where?'' Bart asked bewilderedly. ''Oh... That's... that's perfect timing...'' An enourmous, orange object with a long, firey tail flashed by. ''That must be Jeimiña's work, I'm sure -''
''Hurry up...'' Jardineiro gasped, ''gather the forces and... concentrate...''
Bart quickly did what the older man told him to. First he collected all telekinesis powers he had within him, and then, broken out in sweat, he fixated his glance on the glowing space rock.
''Faster,'' Jardinerio whispered.
The old man proved to be a very skilled magician as well as a gardener. He'd already lifted his hands up in the air, ready for what telekinesians the 'dragging' process. ''We don't want that creature to catch us - where is he anyway? He was supposed to throw a second attack at us a long, long time ago...''
''I guess we bored him,'' Bart sniggered bitterly. ''I just hope he's not trying to find amusement in one of the kids - Bulan's a hazardous opponent...''
''I agree,'' a gruesome voice affirmed from out of the blue.
Bart needed great self-control to not avert his glance from the nightsky. Who knew what great attack Bulan was planning to tackle them?
''Just... concentrate... a little harder...'' Jardineiro said as sweat was pouring down his back. ''We're almost... there. Gravity... will do the... re-''
Jardineiro heaved a beatific sigh before finishing that last word.
''Meteor impact, everyone!'' he shouted as loudly as his sore lungs and throat allowed him to. ''Find shelter! Find...''
From that moment, all hell broke loose.
Bulan tried to strangle Jardineiro with his cast iron muscles. ''YOU!'' he thunered. ''YOU WILL NOT GET AWAY WITH THIS...''
Cueraça, who'd already opened a portal to the Underworld, could not live with the idea of the Universe being ruled by the good for another period of time, and shouted something at Afoti in the ancient language of the Gods.
It must've been something within the meaning of, 'finish her, you will not rest as long as that despicable thing is still breathing', because Afoti fired another range of fire bullets at the Tigermisu-masked girl.
''Help!'' Ameena screamed. She looked around for Gretchen, but saw that she was trying to rescue Jardineiro from Bulan's deadly grip, together with Bart and Leafos.
There were still some other fighters on the field left to help her. She was pretty surprised about who chose to do so, though.
''Afoti!'' The scoffing, but more than welcome voice Dastardos came within Ameena's hearing distance. ''Hasn't anyone told you that it's pretty morally wrong to kill your grandchildren, granny Fot?''
''Dastardos!'' Afoti growled. She was about to throw one of her notorious fire balls at the piñata reaper, when a deadly series of red sparks was shot into her direction.
''Hurry up, Ameena, we don't have much time!" the reaper shouted over Afoti's pained, despairing cries.
Not a single of his shots missed the deity. Even though her attacks were more powerful, she was far not as dexterous in dodging stuff as her brother Cueraça was.
''I...'' Ameena gasped. In her mortal fear she'd forgotten about her painful ribs, but now that she saw the Dark Goddess perish and convulse on the ground, all the adrenaline that had alleviated the pain before slipped away.
''Move it!'' The reaper nervously looked up. The sky had turned a deep shade of orange and the temperature had rosen with quite a few degrees as well. It wouldn't be long until the meteor would collide with the earth, at full force.
If they wouldn't manage to get away as far as possible within twenty seconds, they'd still die a horrible death.
Dastardos clucked his tongue as he saw Ameena was in intense pain. ''Okay 'Meena, this is gonna kill my back, but hey... I'm not as much of a jerk as Cueraça...''
With those words, the piñata reaper picked Ameena up, to float away from the battlefield as fast as his burden would allow him.
The cold touch of the undead man's emaciated skin made the girl shiver at first, but that little discomfort was suppressed by a feeling of immense gratitude.
''Thank you,'' she softly whispered.
''That's alright,'' the reaper told her. ''Someone's told me you've been to the Neragua today, ay? Damn girl, you must be exhausted.''
Now that she thought about it... she actually was.
Not much later, the half-Goddess that had been an ordinary girl only nineteen hours ago, fell asleep in the arms of an undead man she'd once feared.