Chapter Two: Tears and Blood

Ferb released the hug. He was concerned for his brother. He could see Phineas smiling, but he still looked like he was in pain. He was sucking the life out of him, making Ferb depressed, too, but Ferb had to be there for him.

Phineas stood up. "Ferb, I think I'm going to go out."

Out? Where was out? Phineas was making Ferb anxious. He didn't want him to go out alone, not when he was feeling like this. He didn't want something drastic to happen to him, especially if Ferb wasn't there with him.

"I'm going to go look for Perry." Phineas said, but he said it in a voice that made Ferb doubt him.

He was going to go look for Perry - that was it. Oh. Ferb was feeling calmer. But why didn't Phineas ask Ferb to go along with him? Maybe he just wanted some space, some time to himself. Yeah, that was it. He was going to be FINE.

"I'll be back in a few."

Ferb nodded as he watched him fade out into the distance. Phineas was running, running down the street as fast as he could. He felt out of breath, but he didn't stop. One, two, three. He counted to himself. One, two, three.

He kept running, but he wasn't going to look for Perry. He hated lying to his brother, but he also couldn't let Ferb know where he was going. He knew his brother wouldn't be able to handle it. Phineas altered into a walk and stopped at the door.

Phineas needed some type of rush. He needed to feel. He pushed open the door and went inside, pacing around the room and observing the objects around him. Phineas breathed in deeply, releasing the breath and trying not to focus on his thoughts.

Hey, Phineas, what'cha doin'?

Phineas almost jumped. He tried to get Isabella's voice out of his head, but he kept on hearing the same words over and over again.

He watched the owner of the store walk up to him. He smiled. Typical. "Hey, are you looking for something?" he asked the customer. But before the owner could answer, he stared at him for a moment. "Hey, aren't you a little young to –"

Phineas groaned. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get that all the time. Look, do you want my money or not? I'm not a child, you know."

But he was. He was still a child.

The owner gave him a weak nod. "Sure. How can I help you?"

Phineas looked around, dissatisfied when he couldn't find what he was looking for. "I'm looking for a three-inch blade, cheapest one you got. "

The boy couldn't have been older than at least ten. The owner stared at his eyes. His eyes were a gloomy gray, like the crescent moon you would see at night. But there was something about him that made the owner really think.

He walked the customer up to a glass case. Placed inside that glass case was a shiny metal blade. Phineas looked at it.

"Is this the one you're looking for?" he asked, giving the customer a half smile.

They walked up to the counter and Phineas took out his wallet. Truth is, Phineas was feeling a little nervous, but he tried not to show it.

"That'll be $29.99," the owner said, and the customer handed him the money.

The customer smiled. "Great. Thanks."

The owner smiled as he watched the customer leave the store. When he was gone, his smile was gone, too.

As Phineas was walking, his thoughts kept raising higher and higher in his head. He was feeling emotionally overwhelmed, unable to control himself. He took in several deep breaths, but that didn't seem to help him. Nothing seemed to help him.

He came to a fast food restaurant and walked inside, making his way into the bathroom. Once he got into the stall, he flipped open the blade. He wasn't thinking straight. He asked himself why he had left his brother.

He focused on his arm. He swiped the blade against his skin over and over again. He needed to feel. He was unsteady. He couldn't feel, couldn't think, and couldn't concentrate. He watched the blood draw out of his arm and roll onto the floor. He crouched down, moaning.

I can make you happy. You want to be happy, don't you?

Phineas jumped. "Huh?"

He tried to ignore the voice in his head. He pulled his sleeve up and then rolled out some paper towels, holding them on his arm and watching the blood bleed through. This was going to be hard to hide from them, but luckily it didn't stain through his jacket, and he sighed in relief. He kept overlapping paper towels over paper towels until the blood started drying. He flipped the blade down and put it in his shoes and then came out of the stall.

He was a mess. He was keeping so many secrets, and he wanted to tell someone, but he just couldn't speak up about it. He didn't even know what was making him feel depressed. He walked up to the sink and splashed water all over his face. He turned off the tap. He looked at the mirror, self-loathing and feeling disgusted with himself.

His phone suddenly rang. He answered hesitantly.

"Hello?"

"Phineas? It's Mom. Where are you? I've made my homemade pies, your favorite. Come home soon, okay?"

"I'm coming! I mean, yeah – I'll be there soon," Phineas replied, and then hung up the phone.

Phineas ran out of the restaurant and down the street to his house. His face was burning up and he was feeling anxious. Oh god. He didn't want them to find out. He especially didn't want Ferb to find out. No. Oh god, no…

He slowly opened up the door to his house.

His mom was standing in front of him. "Where were you, Phineas? We were worried about you!"

"I was looking for Perry," he replied hesitantly. "Oh, hey, there he is. You know, I'm really hungry. Can I have some pie?"

Did it really take longer than three hours to find a platypus? After all, they don't do much.

"I'll have some pie, too, please," Ferb said, licking his lips.

"Here you go, boys."

"Thanks. I'm actually going to take it up to my room. I'm really tired." Phineas said, yawning. "Goodnight."

Candace was by the stairs, watching Phineas as he went up to his room.

What's up with Phineas? Candace thought, confused. They didn't do anything today! I wasn't able to bust them because Phineas was looking for Perry. He never looks for Perry; he usually just waits for him until he comes home. Something's up. Oh, I'm gonna bust them when I find out.

Candace sunk down against the stairs, chewing on a piece of pie and feeling perplexed by her thoughts.

Phineas was lying in bed with his face buried in his pillow. He was lost in thought, groaning because his thoughts were intolerable. He didn't want to live like this anymore. He couldn't take it.

Ferb came into the room, holding Perry in his arms. He put him on the bed and sat next to his brother.

Phineas…

Phineas, what happened?

Phineas raised his head and sat up turning towards Ferb.

"Ferb, can you turn the lights out? I'm tired."

Ferb nodded. Phineas was too depressed to say anything else. The lights dimmed down and Ferb got into bed. Phineas flopped down on his bed and moaned. Ferb sighed, feeling helpless just listening to him in pain. Was he going to be like this tomorrow? No, he was going to be fine. Or so he thought.

It was midnight, and Phineas was still wide-awake, but he was keeping quiet. He put pressure on his arm from the wounds. Why did it have to hurt now? It was an uncomfortable feeling.

Goodnight, Phineas…

And he fell asleep, with blood on his arm and tears streaming down his face.