-6-
Later that morning, Emma woke up in the guest room with a pounding headache, wearing only a t-shirt. Memories of what happened a few hours earlier came rushing back and she let out a low groan of frustration. Why did she call Phil when she got home? Why did she invite him over? Why did she have sex with him? Why was she straying from the plan of getting divorced from him so she could live her own life as something other than 'Punk's wife'? Why did he infuriate her so much that it took all of her strength not to throw him on the floor and make crazy and hot love to him? Why was she such a bitch?
Moving very slowly, she made her way back into her bedroom to grab something to wear today and then headed back down the hallway to the bathroom to take a shower and get ready for the day. Not that she really had anything to do today; the kids were with their dad until tomorrow night. She smiled a little as she thought about how it was almost noon and they were probably still in their pajamas watching cartoons. Phil was the fun parent; Emma was the one that had to enforce the rules and dole out time outs and groundings. Phil got to see the world, traveling with his job; Emma got to stay home and help Jack with his math homework, work on printing letters with Josh, and played Barbies with Jenna all day.
They had struggled with money, barely able to pay the bills, when they first got married. But once Phil hit the big times, there was money to spend. He tried so hard to make her happy, gave her full control of the checkbook, but what he didn't realize was that money wasn't going to make her happy. She wanted him. She wanted him home every night like he was when he wrestled for the indies. Once he hit the big times, he was gone for days at a time and Emma was alone at night with three little kids. There wasn't ever any time for Emma to find out who she was; she was too busy raising babies. One day she just snapped and threw their perfect little world into a whirlwind and said enough was enough and filed for divorce. She thought for sure that Phil would call her bluff and realize how isolated and lonely she had been feeling, instead he gave into her and just accepted that she needed time away from him and moved out. So now, not only was Emma alone every night, the nights that Phil was in Chicago, he spent them away from her on the other side of the city. Emma was still alone.
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"Daddy, I'm bored!," Josh whined at Phil. He looked up from where he was sitting on the floor, helping Jack with his science homework and sighed. Of course the kids were bored. It was a Saturday morning and they were spending it at their dad's shitty apartment. All of their cool toys and satellite TV were at their mom's house. It was almost noon and Saturday morning cartoons were over, and Scott had run out of amusing stories to tell them. He looked over at his best friend who looked like he was having a serious tea party discussion with Jenna and her penguin.
"What do you want to do, boy?" he asked as he reread the answer Jack had written down for question number three. When did third grade science get so difficult?
"I don't know. I'm bored. I want to go home and ride my bike," he said as he rocked back and forth in the recliner, starting to get on his dad's nerves with the constant squeaking of the chair.
"We're not going home; you're spending the weekend with me. I haven't seen you guys in a long time," he said quietly, remembering to keep his temper in check when Josh complained about having to be here. Josh loved spending time with his dad, but he secretly wished that he could be spending time with dad at home; where he belonged. Josh was having a hard time dealing with his mom and dad's separation; Jack had tried to explain to him that mom and dad were just spending some time apart until they could learn to stop fighting all the time. But to a five year old, that made no sense whatsoever.
"I want to go ride my bike!" he said with a little bit of frustration in his voice.
"And I said no. You and your brother and sister are spending time with me!" Phil said as he raised his voice.
"Punk..." Scott said with a warning tone from the other side of the room. He knew that Punk had a temper, but he was always good with keeping it in check around the kids. He also knew that his friend was beyond frustrated with Emma right now and how she had treated him earlier this morning and that he still hadn't slept.
Punk let out a big sigh. "All right. Go get dressed and we'll go over to your mom's house and pick up your bikes."
"Daddy! Can we get my trikey?" Jenna piped up from her impromptu tea party.
"Of course." Punk had to laugh as he watched his daughter do a spur of the moment happy dance and raced down the hall to her room to get dressed.
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"Um, Punk, I don't think that matches..." Scott said with a confused look on his face as he watched Jenna twirl around the room in a red t-shirt and a pink skirt over a pair of purple pants. She topped off the ensemble with a pair of sparkly silver shoes.
"I think she looks fine," Punk replied as he watched his youngest dance around the room. He gave Jenna the choice of what to wear today, and that's what she picked out. "Jenners, come here so we I can comb your hair."
"Hmmmm. No, I don't want to comb my hair today," she said sweetly as she continued to twirl around the small living room.
Punk shrugged his shoulders, "Whatever, I guess. Looks fine to me. Ready to go, guys?"
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After dropping Scott off at his apartment, they headed over to the house to pick up the bikes and some of the kids' toys. He knew that he could just buy the kids new bikes to keep at his place, but he didn't want to even attempt to venture into a store with three bored kids—there would be chaos. Besides, he wanted to see Emma and see if his words to her early this morning had any affect on her whatsoever or if she was still intent on being a full blown bitch.
He was starting to get worried; their court ordered separation was going to be over in the next two weeks. After that, they would decide on who gets what, since he didn't bother signing a prenuptial agreement with her, and then they would visit family court to see who got custody of the kids. Punk didn't want it to come down to that; he wanted to try like hell to figure out what was the matter with her and what he could do to hold on to her. He really did love her, he didn't want anyone else, he only wanted his Emmy Sue and the life they had started together eight years ago.
He pulled into the driveway and shut the car off. He let the boys finish the argument they were having over something. He looked in the mirror and saw his youngest humming to herself and swinging her legs back and forth in her booster seat. He loved that little girl and how she could completely tune out everything around her and be oblivious to the loud argument her brothers were having.
"Ready kids?" he asked as he leaned over the seat to unbuckle Josh and Jenna. Jack was the oldest and therefore had front seat privileges, which was apparently why him and Josh were arguing right now. Shaking his head and not wanting to get into the middle of their squabble he opened the back door and lifted Jenna out of her booster seat; she immediately wrapped her little arms around Punk's neck and hugged him tight. This was something that he missed everyday when he was on the road.
Seeing that Emma's car was still in the driveway, he wondered if she was actually awake. She had been in pretty rough shape when he left this morning. It wouldn't surprise him at all if she was still in bed with the shades drawn. Not bothering to knock, he just unlocked the front door with his key and walked inside with the kids. A small smirk came onto Punk's face when he heard music coming from the kitchen. Right away he recognized the song and knew he had to go watch Emma. "Hey, Jack? Why don't you bring the little ones upstairs for a few minutes while I talk to your mom?"
Jack, being the obedient little boy that he was, nodded and took his siblings upstairs without a fuss. Punk smiled as he watched his oldest lead Josh and Jenna upstairs. Now he could focus on Emma
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Punk watched as Emma swayed back and forth; he took her all in from her red tank top to her blue denim cut off shorts, she was barefoot and her toes were painted a bright red. He took in her long tan legs and her shapely backside. Her long brown hair was pulled up into a messy knot on top of her head, which gave him a perfect view of the pink butterfly tattoo on the back of her neck. In addition to the pink butterfly on her neck and the blue one on her right hip, she also had butterflies in various colors on her lower back and on her left shoulder. She shared his love for tattoos but only wanted butterflies.
Baby when I think about you, I think about love
Darling I don't live without you and your love
If I had those golden dreams of my yesterday
I would wrap you In their heaven but they lay dying on the way
Feel like makin ...feel like makin love, feel like makin love
Feel like makin...feel like makin love to you
She had the radio on so loud that she had no idea that him or the kids were there right now. He watched with lustful eyes as her hips swayed back and forth in time to the music. He listened to her softly sing along with the radio. More than anything right now he wanted to walk up behind her and grab those hips and pull him close to her. Seeing that he had nothing else to lose, he slowly and quietly started walking into the kitchen. What's the worse she could do to him? Scream and slap him away? She already kicked him out of his own house, filed for divorce and told him that she hated him every chance she got.
She was still swaying those beautiful hips back and forth as she washed the dishes. Very slowly he placed his hands on her hips and moved along with her. She instantly stiffened up and opened her mouth to scream, but Punk whispered in her ear before she could get the scream out. "It's just me..." She relaxed a little and allowed him to keep his hands on her hips. Punk couldn't believe his luck, maybe after their argument this morning, she was starting to give in; but knowing Emma like he did, he knew it wasn't likely.
Baby If I think about you I think about love
Darling If I live without I live without love
If I, I had the sun and moon and they were shining
I would give you both night and day love satisfying
Feel like makin ...feel like makin love, feel like makin love
Feel like makin...feel like makin love to you
The song faded out on the radio and she dried her hands off on a dish towel and turned to face him. He moved his hands from hips to the counter next to her, holding her in place. She wasn't going anywhere.
"What are you doing here?" she asked quietly at first. Then a look of panic washed over her face. "Is there something wrong with one of the kids?"
"No, no no. Everyone is fine. We just came over to get their bikes. Josh claims he's bored. I don't blame him; it is pretty boring there," he replied with his hands still on either side of her. He was shocked that she made no attempt to move away from him. Maybe he really did get through to her this morning.
"Oh. Ok. Make sure I see the kids before you take off then," she said as she tried to move away from him. "Move," she said softly when she realized that he wasn't going to let her go this easily. She thought she had made it clear that this conversation was over.
Punk shook his head. "We need to talk Emmy. We need to talk about what happened this morning and we need to talk about us."
"There isn't anything to talk about, Phil. This morning was a mistake-"
"Why do you keep saying that? I have never, ever thought of making love to you to be a mistake."
"Phil..."
"No, Emmy, we need to talk. You've been avoiding this for almost six months now. Our separation is over in two weeks and then it's over. Final. All done. There is no more Phil and Emma Brooks. It will just be another broken home."
"Is this why you want to stay together, Phil? So the kids aren't another statistic in the books? So you don't have to walk around saying that you're a divorcee? You are unbelievable. Once again, you've turned this into something about you!"
"That's where you're wrong, babe. This isn't just about me or just about you. It's about the life and family we started together eight years ago, and now you just want to throw it all away!"
Emma shook her head and went to move away from him, but he still had his hands holding her in place.
"You're not going anywhere, Em. We need to talk about this. I need to understand why you want out. I've been waiting six months for an explanation and I still haven't got one."
"You wouldn't understand..." she trailed off as she stared at the kitchen floor.
"Try me. How do you know I wouldn't understand? Huh? What's the matter, Emmy Sue? Is it something I can help you fix?" he tentatively removed one hand from beside her and brought it up to her face to brush her bangs out of her eyes. 'She's got the most beautiful blue eyes I've ever seen,' he thought to himself as she gazed back at him.
"I don't want to talk about it..." she said as she moved his hand from her face and took this as an opportunity to move away from him. Unfortunately for Emma, Punk was a lot faster than she was and he caught her around the waist before she could get away. He gently led her over to a kitchen chair and made her sit down across from him.
"Spill it, Em," he said softly as he sat down.
Emma shook her head. "I...I..." she stuttered as tears started to well up in her eyes. She couldn't do it; she couldn't tell her the reason she wanted out of their marriage was because she lost who she was. If she told him that, he would be right. She was a selfish bitch who only care about herself.
Punk watched in amazement as Emma started crying. She laid her head down on the table and let the tears flow. Without thinking twice about it, he was by her side, with an arm around her shoulders as he pulled her close. "Hey...I didn't mean to make you cry, Em. I just wanted to know what was wrong. Why are we doing this to ourselves? I love you, a lot. I love you more than one person should probably love another. And I remember at one time you loved me that much too. What happened?" he was murmuring in her ear.
"Phil..." she whispered as she let him hug her tighter.
"Emmy, ya got to talk to me. What's going on? You aren't acting like the same girl that I married."
Being reminded that he still expected her to be the same person after eight years of marriage snapped her out of whatever woe is me moment she was having. She pulled away from him and stood up, walked back over to the sink to finish the dishes.
"So that's it? You're gonna act like you're gonna finally tell me what's wrong with you, cry, let me hug you and then just walk away from me? Wow, Emma, just wow," he said sadly as he got up from the table and headed upstairs to see if the kids were ready to go.
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"Jenna, you know we can't do that. They don't get along. You don't want to listen to them argue all night do you?" Jack was desperately trying to reason with his little sister about a brilliant idea she had. But Jenna was only three and didn't understand what was going on with their parents anymore than Josh did.
"But I want to see mommy and daddy tonight!" she pouted.
"Me too, but it's not going to happen. Mom won't want to be around dad."
Phil had stopped by the door of Jenna's bedroom, listening in on the conversation the siblings were having with each other. Pushing the partially closed door open all the way he walked in and sat down on the floor with the kids. "What's going on? What does Jenna want?" he asked his oldest.
Jack sighed. "She wants to stay here with mom, but she wants you to stay here too."
"Hmmm. Yeah, mom's not too happy with me right now. How about we go pick up Uncle Scott and go the Lincoln Zoo or something, honey?" he asked Jenna.
"No. I want to stay here with you and mommy!" she said as her blue eyes started to fill up with tears. Punk knew his little one was about ten seconds away from a major meltdown.
"All right, all right. Don't cry. Let's go downstairs and see if mommy wants to hang out with us tonight." Punk had barely gotten the words out of his mouth when Josh jumped up and ran downstairs to find his mom..
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"But, mama! We want you to come with us!" Josh was whining at Emma.
"I know, sweetheart, but I don't think it's a good idea. This is supposed to be your special time with dad," Emma tried to reason with her middle son. "Daddy's going to go back on the road next week and you want to be sure to spend all the time you can with him."
"No! I don't like this anymore! I don't like it that dad doesn't live with us anymore! I don't like it when you make us go to Grandma Evelyn's all the time! I want daddy to live here with us! I don't want you to yell at him anymore!" Josh was screaming and crying at the same time. Emma didn't know what to do, so she just pulled the little dark haired boy into her lap and let him cry on her shoulder. If she didn't feel like a total bitch before, she sure felt like it now.
Punk heard Josh screaming in the kitchen and rushed in to see Josh bawling his little hazel eyes out in Emma's lap. "What's wrong?" he asked softly as he came over and knelt beside Emma. Josh looked up and wiped the tears from his little face.
"I want you to live here with us again, daddy. We miss you..." he said as he buried his face back into Emma's shoulder.
Emma had a look of shock on her face; like it had finally hit her what her behavior was doing to her children. "I'm sorry, Joshy," she mumbled into his neck, rocking the little boy back and forth.
"Em..." Punk said quietly as he stood up and held out his arms for Josh. Emma nodded and gave the sobbing boy to his father. Punk took him into the living room to try and console him. Emma looked around the kitchen and saw that her other two children had come in and had seen the whole scene.
"Mom..." Jack started to say.
Emma was still in shock at the incident that had just happened. What did she do? What had she been doing to these kids? Was she really that selfish?
"Um. Me and Jenna and Josh were thinking that, um, maybe you'd like to hang out with us and dad tonight?" he asked in a voice barely above a whisper.
Without thinking about it, she nodded in agreement. She really did love her kids, and at one point in time, Phil had made her so happy. But what would she have to give up in order to keep them?