Justified – Story 1 in the Unbreakable series

Disclaimer: Characters belong to the writers & producers of Hawaii Five-0. My own characters belong to me :-)

Rating: T (for romance)

Pairing: Steve/OC, Steve/Danny (friendship - no slash)

Author's Note: Thanks so much for the awesome feedback – especially the details on what you liked/didn't like. I'm really glad you all connected with the steam from Ch. 18 – there's still more steam to come, though this is just the first story in a series. The next story will explore how things change when they return to "normal" life – as normal as their lives can get… and Julia still has quite a back story that will eke out from time-to-time. For those not a big fan of Catherine, I can promise you her character becomes very important in a future story I'm sketching out – and not for the obvious reasons (jealously, etc.). But her brief appearance in this story is complete.

As for the comments on ratings, I tweaked a few references and I think I'm solidly in T ratings, but if you think I'm not, please let me know what I should do to dial it down. I think M is more explicit and I don't want to unfairly label this story with that rating (though I'm considering story 2 to possibly need that rating, LOL!). Thanks again and please keep the feedback coming!

Chapter 19

Steve gently sat back, his hand reaching for hers as he absently caressed her palm. He looked down at her hands, trying to put the emotions he felt into words, but that was not a skill he possessed. He had made a life of ignoring emotions, and now they were flooding his mind with possibilities that scared and excited him at the same time. Resolved, he looked up at Julia's hazel eyes and her long, dark lashes. "I didn't... I didn't bring you here to..."

"Kiss me?" Julia smiled teasingly. "It is a romantic spot, you know." Seeing the discomfort and angst in Steve's face as he clearly did not want to take advantage of her, she placed her left hand gently on his arm and rubbed it softly. "I know. You don't need to explain anything," she paused, hesitant. She didn't want to do this, now or ever, but she needed to. Julia regretted bringing the subject up now, but she had to tell him. Clearly something was going on between them, something unexpected but not unwelcome. It wasn't fair to Steve to continue without at least explaining the very little about her background she was permitted to share. Besides, she had no choice in the matter. She needed to do some damage control before he began to suspect anything, before he told anyone what he had found out. There was no easy way to do this, she thought. Gently taking her hand off his arm and resting it on his hand, she looked into his eyes and started, "I thought you brought me here to ask me something."

"Ask you about what?"

"About why I left the Secret Service."

Steve was stunned, and stared at her with his brow furrowed. "How did you find out that I knew?" he asked, his voice low and deep. He had just found out. How could she possibly know?

"I expected that you'd do a full background check on me before you let a civilian have access to highly confidential databases, regardless of a colleague's recommendation. And given your tenure in Naval Intelligence, you wouldn't have done your due diligence if you hadn't requested an intelligence check as well." Julia smiled gently as she let that tidbit sink in.

Steve was slightly shaken. This was an unexpected complication. "You pulled my file - my intelligence file? When? Why?" The romantic feelings he had been coming down from were now completely replaced by a sense of violation, of being used. What sort of game was she playing? Was she using his feelings against him?

Julia watched his face change from the soft expressions of their kiss to his hard SEAL game face. Inwardly, she cursed her job that made her do this to him. She blamed herself for letting her guard down, for beginning to care about him. It would have been much easier if she'd stayed professional, if she'd never gone down this path. It was too late for that, however. She'd already opened up to him, and now she had to ensure that her secrets remained private.

"Yesterday, as we drove from the University to your office, I did a full check on your team. With my experience and knowledge, I have to be very careful with whom I help, and I have to be even more careful about who knows my background. If someone came to me under false pretenses, it could be an extremely dangerous thing. I wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't check everyone who came to me for assistance. It's unfortunate, but it's part of the job," Julia answered, professionally.

She continued carefully. "I also wanted you to know that there won't be any backlash or repercussions for you, or for Lieutenant Rollins. You were both doing your jobs, I know. But you cannot tell her about this conversation."

Steve bristled at the mention of Cath. Julia was able to trace back a delicately placed intelligence check right back to Catherine and then to Steve - what else did she know? He searched her face, unable to read her emotions. He quickly put two and two together. "That call, from your department head, it wasn't from anyone at the University. It was your contact in intelligence, letting you know about the check we'd run."

Julia was impressed that Steve picked up on that, particularly since her cover story had seemed effective at the time. She'd have to note that for the future. "Yes," she stated simply, searching his eyes for the connection they'd had just moments before, but finding it gone. His face and tone were angry, not that she could blame him. She had felt a bit angry too when she found out he'd run a check on her, even though she had expected it. Although justified, it had felt like a violation of her personal trust, and she knew he probably felt the same way. "It was my contact inside letting me know that my name had come up and verifying that all was clear. Being an alumna of the Service has its costs, and its benefits. Anytime my name comes up in a routine or otherwise search, I get a notification. It's for my own security, as well as for ensuring that my work with the Service remains confidential."

"Is that why you didn't tell me?" Steve's voice sounded hurt from her lack of honesty. This was the hard part, she sighed. As much as she wanted to be fully open with him, there were things that she'd never be permitted to tell him, things that were too dangerous to even speak of. She hoped someday he'd understand that, particularly since he was a former SEAL. The best thing she could do right now, in this moment, was to bury her own feelings of distrust and be as open as she was permitted to be. It wasn't ideal, but it was the most that she could do for him. She closed her eyes briefly, shaking her head almost imperceptibly at the frustration she felt at the limitations of the job.

Steve watched Julia, and as effective as she was at hiding her emotions, he saw a glimpse of her frustration and helplessness. He tried to put his own personal emotions aside and focus on the situation as a professional. His mind was fully in work mode now, as he tried to read beyond her words. Her story made perfect sense on the surface, but there was something else. He had worked with former intelligence operatives before who were less secretive than Julia. What else was she hiding from him? What was she so afraid of?

"Part of the reason I didn't tell you is that when I joined the Service, we were urged to be discreet, to keep information on our roles as close to need-to-know as possible. My immediate family knows, as well as a few of my close friends in D.C. and London, but none of my colleagues and friends here in Hawaii are aware of my tenure at the Service. The work that I did for them - very similar to the work I'm doing now for your team - put me at odds with some very dangerous people. The quieter I keep my background, the safer I am able to stay." She paused, looking at the undeniable hurt in Steve's eyes, as her voice softened. "I never meant to keep things from you. I had just hoped to wait a little longer before reading you in, at least reading you in as much as I would be permitted to do so."

Steve felt his disappointment and anger fade a little as he realized her arguments made sense. After all, how many people knew Steve had spent almost half of his career in Naval Intelligence? It was easier to keep it quiet, rather than risk questions that he would not be able to answer. He understood need-to-know. He just wasn't used to it interfering with his personal feelings.

"I hope you'll be able to forgive me. Realize too that we just met, and I'm used to being a very private, self-reliant person. It's hard for me to trust or count on others. I'm working on it," she smiled, her eyes hopeful, "but it will take me a little time."

Steve left her gaze and looked out over the view for a minute, trying to process all of this information. He turned back, his face unreadable. "So why did you leave the Service?" he asked, warily and with great uncertainty.

Julia sighed. It was a complicated story, with more that she needed to share, and she didn't have the strength to open up to him about it just yet. She half smiled, a bit wary herself, as she wrapped his hand in hers. Looking up into his eyes, she started, "That's a story better shared over a few margaritas. Maybe then you can also tell me why you switched to the SEAL team."

Steve smiled briefly. She was right, in a way. They both had secrets to share, but couldn't just yet, and perhaps would never be able to fully talk about. He had seen and experienced very painful times that he had filed away. He wasn't sure he'd ever be able to share them with her, even though it seemed that she probably had a higher security clearance that he did, which said quite a bit about what her role must have been. A part of him was still upset with her for keeping all of this from him. He knew he should be more forgiving, but he was hurt at her lack of trust in him. He had a lot to think about – his growing feelings for Julia, the new revelations about her work and her background, and this sense he had that he still knew very little about her. He felt confused and frustrated about his conflicting emotions, as he looked down at their hands and felt her soft, small fingers wrapped around his.

"There is something else I want to tell you..." Julia started, as Steve's phone rang and interrupted them.