-7-
Out in the living room, Punk sat down on the couch and set Josh down next to him. "What's the matter, little man? What's got you so mad right now?" Punk asked softly.
"I want you to live here with me, and Jack and Jenna and mommy. I don't want you to live away from us anymore," Josh said as he tried to stop crying.
"I know, buddy. But me and mom are going through some tough times right now. I miss you guys too."
"Do you miss mommy?"
Punk smiled. "Yeah, I miss mom too. I gotta be honest with you though, buddy. Me and your mom might not ever live together again, but that doesn't mean that we don't love you or Jack or Jenna any less. It just means that there's gonna be some changes, and you gotta be a big boy and just go with the flow, buddy. Understand?" Punk asked softly.
Josh nodded. "I guess so. But I still don't like it when you're gone all the time and I don't like it when mom has her friends over."
Punk cocked an eyebrow at that last thing his son had said. Was Emma sleeping with someone else? "What kind of 'friends' does mom have over?" he asked cautiously, not sure if he should drag his five year old into him and Emma's drama.
"Um. Amber and Kimberly. I don't like them; when they come over mom makes us go to bed early."
Punk let out a sigh of relief; at least she wasn't sleeping around on him.
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Fifteen minutes later, Punk had calmed down little Josh. Emma had come out into the living room with Jack and Jenna. Jenna sat down next to her dad on the couch while Jack sat on the recliner with his mom.
"What's going on? Are we all done crying?" Punk asked quietly to no one in particular. Everyone in the room nodded; including Jenna.
"Mom said she'd hang out with us tonight," Jack said in a voice barely above a whisper.
Punk looked at his wife in shock, "Really?" he said softly. Emma just nodded. "Well, kids. What do you want to do today then?"
"I want to watch Toy Story!" little Jenna piped up as the two older boys groaned. Toy Story was Jenna's favorite movie and they've seen it at least a hundred times in the last month.
"We already saw that, Jenna!" Josh grumbled as he snuggled closer to his dad.
"But I love that movie!" Jenna pouted.
"What do you want to do, boy?" Punk asked.
Josh shrugged his little shoulders, "I don't know."
Punk sighed. "Well. Guess we could all sit on the couch and do a whole lot of 'I don't know'," Phil said sarcastically, which got a smile out of Jack.
"Jack, my son. What do you want to do tonight?"
Jack shrugged his shoulders. "I don't care; I'll do whatever," he mumbled.
"Such exciting children I have," Punk said as he rolled his eyes. "How about this. We'll do mom's favorite thing. How about we go shopping? We haven't done that for a long time. I bet mommy needs something new and pretty. How about it Em, want to go shopping?" he asked with a hopeful look on his face. She was a little wary of accepting his offer to go shopping; normally he didn't like to venture out in crowded malls where he would more than likely get recognized and stopped for autographs. She also knew that he found it irritating to be the one carrying her shopping bags.
"Sure," she said quietly. She looked down at what she was wearing; unless she wanted a bunch of other guys eye humping her, throwing Phil into a jealous rage, she better go put some more clothes on. "I'm going to go upstairs and change. Jenna, let's go find something else for you to wear."
"But mommy! I like this outfit! Daddy let me pick it out!" she said as her bottom lip trembled, forecasting an upcoming meltdown if her mom made her change her clothes.
"Emma, really, she looks fine. She's three," Phil said softly.
Not wanting to have to deal with a meltdown from Jenna, Emma just sighed, "Fine."
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Emma headed upstairs and stood in front of her closet, lost in her own thoughts. What the hell had happened in the last two days? For the past six months, her and Phil had been at each others throats, screaming for blood. But in the span of not even forty eight hours, he's turned her world upside down again. They had sex last night. Sex! They hadn't had sex in over seven months. What the hell was wrong with her? She was finally getting over that and had re-convinced herself that she was doing the right thing by divorcing him, when Josh had a meltdown in the kitchen; then it hit her. It hit her how big of a bitch she really had been lately and how it was affecting her kids. Now, she was getting dressed so she could spend the afternoon at a shopping mall with the kids and Phil? It was fucked up. Everything was all fucked up. Couples who are going through a divorce don't hang out together at the mall.
He was going to get the kids all riled up for the next week while he was in Chicago, and then he would take off for the road and leave them behind; it would break their little hearts and Emma would be the only person there to pick up the pieces.
She slowly turned around when she heard the bedroom door open and shut quietly. Phil leaned against the door, "Hey," he said softly as he crossed the room and stood next to her in front of the closet. "Are you all right?" he asked as he tentatively placed a hand on her shoulder. She turned to look at him and shook her head.
"Em-"
"I don't want to talk about it, Phil. I'm going to get dressed, go to the mall with you and the kids today, wait for you to leave next week, console the kids, and then wait the rest of this separation period out," she said softly as she pulled a pair of old blue jeans with holes in the knees out of the closet and a black AC/DC t-shirt.
"We don't have to do this, Emmy. We can stop the proceedings whenever we want. I don't want a divorce; I want you," he whispered as she stood behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist pulling her back towards him. "I still love you, Emmy. And I know you have to still love me at least a little bit. Otherwise you wouldn't let me keep touching you." He placed a soft kiss on her neck as she tried to pull away from him. "Please, Emmy. Don't give up on me. Whatever is wrong, tell me, so I can fix it. I don't want to lose you. I need you. I've always needed you."
She managed to pull away from him, tears shining in her blue eyes. "What about what I need, Phil?"
"What do you need, Emma? Tell me. For God's sake, just tell me what you need, and I'll do it for you. Anything you want; just don't leave me," he whispered like a desperate man.
"I need..." she stopped. She couldn't do this. Not now. It would start a fight between them and then the afternoon activity with the kids would be ruined and she couldn't bear to disappoint Josh like that right now. She let out a big sigh. "I know we need to talk. We should have talked a long time ago. But, not right now. Let's just pretend that everything's fine right now."
"But it's not fine. You shouldn't lie to yourself like this, Emmy."
"I know..."
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"Do you want it?" Punk murmured in her ear, causing a tingle to run up and down her spine with having his hot breath so close to her ear. They were in a jewelery store looking at necklaces. Emma was currently looking at a beautiful silver necklace with a thin chain and a silver butterfly with diamonds on the wings. She didn't want to go in there, he made her. And surprisingly enough, the kids were sitting in the chairs being good. What was it about Phil that made them behave so well for him, Emma wondered to herself.
"If you want it, I'll get it for you," he whispered again.
She turned to look at him. "Why do I get the feeling if you buy this for me, I'll 'owe you' in some way shape or form," she said quietly.
Punk sighed. "I thought we were getting along today. Em. Don't be difficult."
"I'm only out here with you today for the kids. Don't read too much into this." And just like that, Emma did a 360 and turned back into a raging bitch.
"You are the most difficult woman I have ever met Emma, you know that?" he said quietly in her ear while he tried like hell to keep his temper in check. "You are damn lucky that I love you so much. I want to buy this for you even though you've been a raging bitch lately and want to divorce me. When are you going to get it through your head that I love you!"
"Stop. You're going to end up making a scene, Phil."
"I don't care."
Emma just rolled her eyes at him. "Come on kids. Let's go to the video store and pick out some movies," she said as she took Jenna's hand.
The trip to the mall didn't last very long. The kids begged for quarters for the arcade and Emma and Jenna watched in amusement as the boys played 'Whack a Mole' with their dad three times in a row. Before they left the arcade they counted up the tickets they had won and had enough for each of the kids to get a kazoo. Phil counted the tickets he had left over and picked out a cheap little ring. He walked over to Emma and slipped in onto her pinky finger. "Remember when I did this for real?" was all he whispered in her ear before he walked away, leaving her to demand herself not to cry as memories of their impromptu wedding ceremony eight years earlier quickly flashed through her mind.
Punk got stopped by autograph seekers throughout the day. Normally he would have just kept walking, but he had his kids with so he stopped and was polite. He refused, however, to let anyone take pictures of him and the kids or Emma. He had to draw the line somewhere.
The trip to the mall killed a few hours. Now the Brooks family was on their way to a video store. While they were walking out to the car, Emma decided to finally speak up. "Phil. I know you want to act like nothing is wrong and to be a happy little family today for the kids, but you need to take it slower. We can't just jump back into being the smiley happy family-"
"Babe, we were never a happy smiley family," he said with a chuckle.
"What I mean, is we can't act like we did before...the divorce proceedings started. It isn't fair to the kids to get their little hopes up when we both know that this just isn't going to work out for us."
"Emma. It is going to work out for us. Have faith," he said before he got into the driver's seat.
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After a trying visit to the video store and to a nearby pizza parlor for dinner, they made it back home. Phil went into the living room to set up the DVD player while Emma went upstairs and got pillows and blankets for the couch. Before Phil hit it big in the WWE, this is how the little family spent a lot of their Saturday nights—curled up on the couch together with a blanket watching movie after movie.
Phil watched Emma come back down the stairs with the big down comforter from their bed and wondered if she was going to let him sit next to her. He sat down on the couch, with Josh on one side of him Jack sat down in the chair next to the couch. Emma came into the living room and glanced at the other empty chair for a minute and considered sitting there until Jenna piped up, "Mama, come sit on the couch with me and daddy!" Trying not to let out a sigh, Emma agreed and sat next to Phil on the couch.
"Hey, fancy meeting you here," he said softly as he started the movie.
"It's my couch."
"Hmm...my couch, babe."
"Well, this is my blanket," she said as she snuggled up closer to it.
"You need to learn to share, Emmy," he whispered as he pulled part of the blanket over him and threw an arm over her shoulders. He was shocked when she didn't push him away. 'Here's to the beginning of an interesting night,' he thought to himself.
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Halfway through the second time watching Toy Story, Jenna fell asleep. Emma felt her heart skip a beat when she watched Phil gently carry the little girl up to her bedroom. She glanced over at Josh who was also half asleep. "Do you want to go to bed, Joshy?" she asked.
He shook his head. "No, I don't wanna wake up and then daddy's gone," he mumbled as his eyes kept fluttering shut.
Phil came back downstairs and sat on the couch next to Emma, pulling Josh closer to him. Jack sat down next to Emma and the four of them watched Spiderman. Not even ten minutes into the movie, Josh fell asleep. "Should I bring him upstairs?" Phil asked quietly, his eyes still glued to the screen.
Emma nodded and watched her estranged husband carry their middle son upstairs to his bedroom, leaving Jack and Emma alone downstairs for a few minutes. After an uncomfortable silence, Jack finally spoke up. "Mom? Do you think that you and dad will get back together?" he asked in a hushed voice.
She turned and looked at her oldest. "Why would you ask that?" she said curiously.
"I don't know. It just seems like you two are getting along tonight, that's all. I think it would be pretty cool if you didn't get divorced and dad moved back in here."
"I see," was all Emma said before Phil sat down next to her and the three of them continued watching the movie.
It was almost eleven o'clock before the movie was over. "Time for bed, Jack," Emma said as she stretched. Jack was never a child to complain when his mom asked him to do something. He hugged and said good-night to both of his parents and headed upstairs for bed, leaving Phil and Emma alone on the couch.
After a few minutes of silence and channel surfing, Phil finally said something to her. "Do you want me to stay tonight?" he asked quietly with his eyes still on the television.
Before she could fully process what he was asking her, her mouth opened up and she whispered, "I'd like that..."