Chapter Twenty-Two

Lily sat in the castle kitchen, alone. She wasn't sure whether she was angry, disappointed, or hurt—or perhaps all three at once. James was late, very late. She vaguely wondered if something had happened, but so many things had gone wrong between them that it was easier to assume the worst: he had simply forgot and left her. Whether he was just scared or actually playing her didn't matter: he had asked to meet her but hadn't shown up.

She was getting hungry and was just about to ask the house elves for something she could take back to Gryffindor when she heard a voice behind her.

"Lily?" called someone from the doorway. She turned around, rubbing away the small pricks of moisture from her eyes. It was not James, but Sirius, and he was approaching her warily.

"What?" she asked, standing abruptly to leave. "Come to gloat, to have a laugh?"

To her surprise, Sirius did not have a smart remark ready. In fact, he looked very somber and actually gave her a sympathetic look.

"No, I have a message for you. From James."

Lily felt her eyes flash. She stormed past him, certain it wouldn't be good. "I don't want to hear it. You can tell him he's a git and an arsehole and I never want to see him again." It wasn't true, but she was hurt and angry. How could James not only stand her up, but send his best friend to tell her why?

"Lily, it's not like that at all!" Sirius called after her. "He didn't mean to leave you." She stopped at the door, but did not face him. Sirius continued. "He had to go home. He had an owl this afternoon."

Lily gasped and turned around. "What? Did something happen?" Her heart plummeted as she thought the worst and imagined James facing another family tragedy, upset and alone.

"His dad's been sick a lot since his mum died," Sirius said softly, coming up beside her. Lily could see the worry written across his face and vaguely thought that Sirius was close not only with James, but with his family as well. "He's at St. Mungo's. He's not doing very well."

"Oh no," Lily whispered, hands flying to her mouth. She wasn't angry anymore; how could she be? James had probably rushed home the moment he'd got the message. "Will he be okay?"

"I don't know," Sirius said, shaking his head. "He's really sick, though. James wanted to tell you, but he couldn't find you. He was so worried, he just left right away and asked me to find you. Dumbledore let him Floo to St. Mungo's."

"Will he be back?" Lily asked. It was almost a selfish question, but it wasn't about their date. She just wanted to talk to him, make sure he was all right.

"I doubt it," said Sirius. "Dumbledore gave him permission to stay the week, and since term's up in a week, he'll likely just stay with his dad through the holidays. They're all they have now, each other."

"I guess so," Lily murmured. She gave Sirius a sad smile. "So much for dinner. Maybe I'll head up to the Great Hall before it's too late."

"I'll walk with you, if you don't mind," Sirius offered. He shrugged when she blinked at him in surprise. "Least I could do, being the bearer of bad news."

Lily gave him a sideways glance. "You'll have to tell me what happened with Avery this morning."

"I think you already know," he replied as they left the kitchen.

"James told me a bit," she admitted, shaking her head. "Why does it always have to be so complicated?"

Sirius laughed. "That, Evans, is the question with no answer."

"How's your eye?" she asked, glancing sideways at the ugly purple bruise.

"Fine—just another battle scar," he replied.

"Another one?" she laughed. "Do you often get your face punched in for a girl?"

"Only when it matters," he murmured, looking away.

"It matters that much?" she asked softly. He glanced down at her, simply nodding, and she was once more surprised at the depth of feeling she saw in his grey eyes. "You know, you're not as bad as you want people to think you are, are you?"

He burst out laughing. "Of course I am. I'm just putting one over on you so you'll still go out with James. We come as a pair, you know."

Lily linked her arm through his, and he looked down in amusement. "It could be worse," she murmured, and they walked the rest of the way to the Great Hall in silence, thinking about James and his father.

The following day was the last prefects' meeting before the winter holiday, and Lily wasn't sure what it would be like without James. At least she wouldn't have to worry about what had happened at the last one, since the thought of it still made her uncomfortable. She knew she was going to miss his steady presence, though, even when it infuriated her. With a sigh, Lily packed up her books and stepped through the portrait hole. She found Remus waiting for her.

"Hi," he said, inclining his head. "Care to walk together?"

She narrowed her eyes at him. "That depends. You have a look about you."

She walked with him anyway, and he inclined his head curiously. "What sort of look?"

"A bit of the 'My mate's gone so I'll just walk with her' look crossed with the 'Does she know anything about him?' look."

Remus threw back his head and laughed. "You caught me. It is a bit odd without James around, and I waswondering if you had heard from him."

She laughed with him, nodding. "Yes, I had a note at breakfast."

"Did it move?" he teased.

"Actually," she said, surprised now that she thought about it. "It did." She pulled out a small piece of parchment from her robes and showed Remus the picture: a stick figure with glasses apologizing profusely over an empty dinner table.

"Nice one," Remus murmured. "Did he say anything about his dad?"

"Yes," Lily said. "He wrote quite a bit. He said his dad is pretty bad off. Remus, it doesn't sound good."

"Damn," muttered Remus as they headed down the stairs toward the fifth floor corridor. "Of all the things, all the people…" He trailed off, as if he couldn't finish the thought.

"Are you all close to James's family?" asked Lily curiously.

Remus nodded. "I suppose, though Sirius is probably closest. He's stayed with them quite a bit, you know—especially last summer, after he left home."

"He left?" asked Lily, astonished. "His family?"

"You didn't know that?" Remus frowned. "Well, yes, he finally left after what happened in Hogsmeade last year. Sort of the last straw."

"Why?" asked Lily, curious even though it was not really her business. Then again, she she was just starting to get to know Sirius better, and as he had pointed out, he would probably be a part of any relationship she shared with James.

"His parents said he was on the wrong side, of course," Remus said bitterly. "Thought he should have been fighting with the family instead."

"The family?" she asked, once again surprised. She thought back to that horrible day in June, to the Death Eaters who had attacked them. But they had all been wearing masks, and only the three who had been captured had been identified; the others had escaped, unknown.

"Evan Rosier is his aunt's brother's son." Remus shrugged. "He went to Azkaban with Avery's brother Pietro, but apparently they're both better sons for towing the family line, even if they are in prison. So Sirius left."

Lily shook her head. She didn't know Evan Rosier, but could only imagine Sirius's wrath at being compared to someone who would attack innocent students out for a Hogsmeade visit. It was something she still didn't understand, even though she knew perfectly well the war was swirling to a crescendo outside school. It was just something they didn't talk about much, as if by staying inside the protective bubble of Hogwarts, they might ignore the darkness gathering outside.

"Remus?" she asked softly, reluctant to bring it up, but now that it was out there she almost couldn't keep it in. "What really happened? Why did they attack us?"

Remus was silent for a moment. He finally sighed. "They weren't attacking us, you know. We just walked right into it. They were after Kieran Quinn."

"And they got him," Lily whispered, her eyes welling with tears as she remembered the Hufflepuff who had been killed that day. "But why him?"

"His father tried to back out," Remus replied bitterly. "Voldemort set them on his son as retribution." He sounded as if he were speaking from experience.

They rounded a corner of the fifth floor. Lily stopped him, eyes wide. "How do you know that?" she asked.

"Andrew told us, for one," said Remus. "And then Sirius heard it from his brother, just before he left." He glanced sideways at Lily's questioning look. "Regulus is almost one of them, you know. It's just a matter of time—for most of them."

Lily shook her head, thinking of Severus and wondering if he'd yet joined the group of Death Eaters that followed Lord Voldemort. She had little doubt that he would, or that Dante Avery and Corin Mulciber would be following soon as well.

"Are Arlienne's brothers Death Eaters?" she asked suddenly, remembering some of the things Arlienne had told her.

"Probably," said Remus, nodding his head. "Sirius said his cousin had joined, so I'd guess Rodolphus is one as well since they're engaged. And if he's a Death Eater, then Rabastan is too, because I remember him following his brother all over Hogwarts our first year."

Lily remembered as well. "Do you really think they'd go after Sirius?" she asked. "He's still a Black, after all, and almost a relative…" She trailed off when she noticed the skeptical look on his face.

"He's been disowned, Lily. His name is practically anathema." He gave her a shrewd look. "He's also a Gryffindor, and she's a Slytherin. That alone makes it difficult, regardless of his name and status as a blood traitor."

"Sort of like Romeo and Juliet," Lily murmured. Remus apparently got the reference and nodded.

"Only hopefully it will end better," said Remus.

"Avery's involved now," said Lily, though of course Remus already knew that.

"He's just looking for a fight," Remus grumbled. "Always has been, always will be. Probably sick of trying to start one with James."

"I hope he doesn't try anything in the meeting tonight," Lily said as they continued walking.

Remus smiled at her. "You can handle it," he said. "And we'll be watching out for you if he ever does."

"We?" she asked.

"Well, just me at the moment," he laughed as they neared the prefects' lounge. "But the rest of us will too, especially now you're with James."

"With James?" Lily repeated, slightly surprised.

Remus gave her a sly grin. "Come off it, you are and you know it."

"Remus, we haven't even had a proper date, let alone a chance to talk…" Once again she trailed off as he laughed.

"Keep making those excuses, Evans," he teased, in such a perfect imitation of Sirius that Lily just stared at him. "It's practically a done deal—admit it."

Lily shook her head as she entered the lounge. It was and she knew it, but it didn't feel quite official; in fact, it felt rather anticlimactic, given that they had not really had much communication all week other than some letters, and now he was gone. Yet they hadn't fought, and that was a step forward. His notes had won her over, and he had even asked her to dinner. They had almost kissed in the Entrance Hall, and Lily had to admit she was disappointed that she would have to wait so long to continue that particular moment. She couldn't help but look forward to the train ride back after the Christmas holiday, since that was likely when she'd see him again and hopefully finish that kiss.

Lily had an owl every other day from James. His father's health deteriorated, and Lily tried to be as encouraging as she could in the letters she sent back. Yet by the time she was packing for the train to King's Cross the following weekend, Harrington Potter had improved enough to actually go home from St. Mungo's. Lily immediately ran down to the common room to find Sirius, Remus, and Peter and share the good news. They were elated, Sirius even pulling Lily into a surprise embrace as he whooped for joy. She laughed with them and then hurried back to her dorm to finish packing and read the rest of the letter.

I miss you, Lily. I know it sounds crazy, but writing these letters has really helped me get through the week. Can I see you over the holidays? I still owe you dinner, and we still have a lot to talk about.
~JHP

Lily grinned rather stupidly to herself as she thought about seeing James over the holidays. She was of age in the wizarding world so there was no reason she couldn't, especially since she had passed her Apparition test the previous spring. Her parents might not appreciate her magically disappearing from their home to reappear hundreds of miles away with a strange boy, but she'd work something out.

After not seeing him for a week, Lily found that she truly missed James's presence in her life. And it wasn't just that she missed having someone to antagonize: it was more knowing that because he wasn't there, nothing was possible between them, even fighting. It was a strange thing to admit to herself, that she missed the possibility of being with him, even though she had spent so much of the year pushing him away.

She finished her packing and soon found herself making her way toward Hogsmeade with the rest of the Gryffindor seventh-years. She found she missed James's presence even more as she thought about what he had done that day in June when they'd been attacked. He'd fought bravely and earned the Head Boy title that day, and though most of the professors accompanied them now, prepared for any such attack, she still sort of wished he was with them—with her. She shook her head of such childish thoughts and continued talking with her friends, putting that day from her mind.

The train ride home was surprisingly—and blissfully—uneventful. After a brief prefects' meeting, Lily joined Mary, who for some reason was sitting with Sirius and Peter. In fact, she was talking rather animatedly with Peter, who didn't seem quite sure what to make of her. Sirius gave Lily an amused look as she entered the compartment and stared at them; she idly wondered where Susan Pritchard was and what Mary was up to. Then he tossed her a copy of that morning's Daily Prophet.

"Check out page two," he murmured.

She turned the page, wondering what could be so interesting. It was a small paragraph near the bottom corner of the page.

"Pietro Avery released from Azkaban Prison." Lily glanced up in alarm. "That's Avery's brother, isn't it? The one that…" She stopped, not wanting to say it.

Sirius nodded grimly. "The same. Apparently he has some family connections and got out early. The other two are still there, but I'm sure it won't be long for them either, if the Ministry is letting Avery go."

Lily scanned the article. "It says he was imprisoned for an attack outside Hogsmeade, but nothing about Kieran's death." She paused. "He's a murderer. How could they let him out early?"

"Money," said Sirius, frowning darkly. "It's that simple. And it'll just get worse. I know—I used to belong to one of those families that bought their way out of things."

"But what do you think it means?" she asked softly. "For…well, for James, for one."

Sirius raised his eyebrows. "Not sure. Given Dante's grudge against him, I suppose his brother may have one, too. He's the one who went to Azkaban, after all. So it's possible he might try something, now that he's out."

Mary and Peter looked up. "You don't really think so, do you?" Mary asked, her eyes wide.

"Think what?" asked Remus, entering the compartment then. Lily handed him the newspaper. He frowned as he read it.

"You think he'll come after us?" he finally asked, tossing it on the seat beside Sirius.

"Or just Prongs," said Sirius. "He seems to have taken the blame for that—at least according to Avery."

"You'll have to keep a close eye on him over the holidays, then," said Remus very matter-of-factly.

Lily glanced back and forth between the friends, impressed with their loyalty and bravery. And yet that was not what came to her lips.

"Why do you call him Prongs?" she asked instead.

"Because he's very dear to us, that's why," Sirius replied with a wink. Lily narrowed her eyes as Peter and Remus burst out laughing.

"Never mind," she said. "Keep your secrets. I'll find out eventually."

"Doubt it," murmured Peter. Sandra entered then with Ryan Sloper and Cynthia Morris, who asked after James. Soon Susan Pritchard joined them and sat next to Peter, who looked even more confused now, and the compartment was suddenly quite crowded and noisy. Lily sat at the window and stared out at the passing landscape. She remembered the trip to Hogwarts in September and how much it had bothered her when she found out James was Head Boy. She could hardly remember why now. The compartment seemed empty in spite of all the talking and laughing; it just didn't feel right for him to be missing.

Lily glanced around and caught Remus's eye. He nodded as if he understood, and she smiled back at him before joining the conversation once again. They'd soon arrive at station for the long holiday, and she tried to enjoy the last few hours with her friends before the break began.

Several games of Exploding Snap later, not to mention a tremendous number of Chocolate Frogs and a great deal of laughter, they pulled into King's Cross. Lily sighed as she glanced out the window, and to her surprise, her heart did a little flip in her chest.

James was waiting on the platform, and she rather doubted the flowers were for Sirius.

End Notes:

Thank you once more to my lovely alpha-beta Lea/mugglegirlmaurader. Any mistakes are my own. In particular, the timeline: I may have taken some liberties with Sirius here, but I believe I can also justify them due to the lack of specific canon facts. Ditto with Evan Rosier.

Thanks again for all the amazing reviews and support! :)