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Opening Up

The next day was better and worse.

It was better because I knew what to expect. I still got the same amount of stares, but it felt easier. All day either Mike, Eric, or Jessica would walk me to my classes.

It was worse because I was tired: I hadn't slept well, my sleep was clouded with constant dreams….good and bad. It was even more worse because during Trig Mr. Varner called on me when my hand wasn't even raised for a difficult question that no one knew, I got the question right but now I have so many people coming up to me asking for Trig homework help. It was miserable because I had to play volleyball; I had worn a simple stripped blue and black tank top, pale white skinny jeans, and my neon blue high tops….I guess I had it coming for dressing simple.

It was worse and better because Edward Cullen wasn't in school.

I dreaded his gaze, or what he would say to me because of yesterday. I walked into the cafeteria with Jessica…..trying to keep my eyes from sweeping the place looking for him….but I failed. I found the table he had sat at yesterday but he wasn't there. Just his four siblings with their uneaten trays of food.

Mike steered us over to his table and again I used the "I'm not hungry", which I wasn't again. I wasn't subjected to questions today but complements. I saw blondie at the end of the table but she never looked my way. I tried to keep up and even partake in the chatter at the table………but I just couldn't. I was tense. Tense because I was waiting for him to come in. I hoped that when he did he would just ignore me.

By the end of lunch I was really happy, because he never came. I was so happy that I laughed at a really stupid joke that Mike told me as he walked me to class. But when I got to the door I held my breath and peeked in, but he wasn't there. Mike followed me to my seat and told me about an upcoming trip to the beach, I told him I would think about it.

He lingered at my seat until the bell rang.

I was happy to have the whole desk to myself. It was nice not to be glared at. But then there still was that little voice in the back of my head that kept making me think about all of his actions. I had never had that effect on anyone before. I cant believe that I am the reason that he left. Then I talked myself out of that.

Then gym, which is were the volleyball incident happened.

The blush on my cheeks was just going away when the last bell rang. I changed quickly then booked it out of there. I had evaded Mike or any others and I was smiling as I got to my truck. It wasn't raining but it was cloudy.

This was a really good day.

I dug threw my bag and retrieved the money I needed.

Last night I'd discovered that Charlie couldn't cook much besides fried eggs and bacon. So I requested that I be assigned kitchen detail for the duration of my stay. He was willing enough to hand over the keys to the banquet hall. I also found out that he had no food in the house. So I had my shopping list and the cash from the jar in the cupboard labeled FOOD MONEY, and I was on my way to the Thriftway.

I pulled out of the parking lot, the truck's noise catching attention….I sunk low in my seat.

As I passed the other student cars I noticed the two Cullen's and the two Hale's. The smallest Cullen, the girl, looked up at me as I passed….she smiled and gave me a small wave before entering the car…..which was a very shinny Volvo.

I let out a much needed sigh as I left the school.

The Thriftway was not far from the school, just a few streets south, off the highway. It was nice to be inside the supermarket; it felt normal. I did the shopping at home, and I fell into the pattern of the familiar task gladly.

When I got home, I unloaded all the groceries, stuffing them in wherever I could find an open space. I hoped Charlie wouldn't mind. I wrapped potatoes in foil and stuck them in the oven to bake, covered a steak in marinade and balanced it on top of a carton of eggs in the fridge.

I grabbed my bag and pulled out the homework that needed to be done. My phone started ringing in the bottom of my bag, I knew who it was before I even looked at the screen.

"Hi, mom," I said into the phone.

"Oh Bella! I miss you! How's Forks? How is school going? Oh and have you seen my pink blouse? I cant find it," my mother rushed out.

I took a deep breath.

"Your blouse is at the cleaners, you were supposed to pick it up Friday. Forks is good, rainy, the same as always. School is good. Everything is good. Charlie bought me a truck I really like it," I said.

"That's good! How come you haven't answered my e-mails?" she asked. I don't think that computer upstairs even works.

"Well that old computer probably doesn't even work and you know I cant get the e-mail thing to work on my phone."

"Then buy a computer! You have extra money since Charlie bought you a truck."

"Mom, I don't even think they have a Best Buy here," I said with a little laugh. She laughed too then I heard the door open and the familiar sounds of my fathers boots hitting the floor. "Hey mom got to go. Love you."

"Love you too baby," she said then the call was gone.

I quickly got up and took the potatoes out and put the steak in to broil.

"Bella?" Charlie called from the entranceway. Duh, who the hell else would be home.

"Yea."

Charlie stepped into the kitchen and saw me at the stove. He smiled at me then hung up his gun belt and slipped out of his boots as I rushed about the kitchen, making sure not to burn anything.

As far as I was aware, he'd never shot the gun on the job. But he kept it ready. When I came here as a child, he would always remove the bullets as soon as he walked in the door. I guess he considered me old enough now not to shoot myself by accident, and not depressed enough to shoot myself on purpose.

"What's for dinner?" he asked and I knew he was thinking of Renee and her experimental cooking where none of the dishes turned out edible.

"Steak and Potatoes," I answered and he seemed relieved.

He seemed to feel awkward standing in the kitchen doing nothing; he lumbered into the living room to watch TV while I worked. We were both more comfortable that way. I made a salad while the steaks cooked, and set the table.

I called him in when dinner was ready, and he sniffed appreciatively as he walked into the room.

"Smells good, Bells."

"Thanks."

We ate in silence for a few minutes. It wasn't uncomfortable. Neither of us was bothered by the quiet. In so many ways, we were well suited for living together.

"So…how's school? Have any friends yet?" he asked as he took seconds.

"Schools good. Made a few friends," I lied, about the friends part. I had not really made any friends….just people I sat with at lunch.

I had actually made two people probably hate me, well blondie was a bitch anyway, and one of those two people I had actually made not come to school. I'm like a plague.

"Um Dad, is there like a Best Buy or electronics store around here?" I asked as I pushed the remains of my dinner around my plate.

Charlie stopped eating and thought. "I think….there's one in Port Angelus. I'll ask some friends at work."

"Thanks."

We lapsed back into silence as we finished eating. He cleared the table while I started on the dishes. He went back to the TV, and after I finished washing the dishes by hand — no dishwasher —then dragged my bag upstairs to start my homework and take a shower.

There was light rain tonight. When I feel asleep it was almost a soothing sound to me as I finished my homework, easily, then after my shower I fell straight into my bed.

The rest of the week was uneventful. I got used to the routine of my classes. By Friday I was able to recognize, if not name, almost all the students at school. In Gym, the kids on my team learned not to pass me the ball and to step quickly in front of me if the other team tried to take advantage of my weakness. I happily stayed out of their way.

But Edward Cullen didn't come back to school, I cant say how I felt about it. Happy at times…..then sad because I knew I had done that.

Everyday I watched until the Cullen's would walk in without him. Then I would relax and join in to the conversation, which was about a trip to the La Push beach in two weeks. Mike had planed the whole thing and asked me if I wanted to go. I told him sure…..I cant even remember why I said it…..I don't even like the beach.

By Friday I was happy to sit at my lab table, by myself, because I knew Edward Cullen wouldn't be there. I knew I was the cause of it, but I tried and tried to keep those thoughts out of my head.

My first weekend in Forks passed without incident. Charlie, unused to spending time in the usually empty house, worked most of the weekend. I cleaned the house, got ahead on my homework, and wrote my mom a long text message, telling her I was happy and telling her all about school. I made sure to make it sound cheerful.

It rained all weekend, so I didn't go out and find the electronics store, I put it off for next week. I slept really well….no dreams at all.

On Monday morning everyone greeted me in the parking lot or told me they liked my hair or selected outfit. I didn't know all their names but I smiled and waved at a few people.

It was very, very cold this morning but not raining.

In English, Mike took his accustomed seat by my side. We had a pop quiz on Wuthering Heights. I had read the book countless times before so it was very easy. I was the first to finish, gaining looks and opened mouths. I knew I would get even more people asking me for help……..and I was right.

When Mike and I left class and stepped outside the air was filled with swirling bits of white. People were laughing and shouting.

"Wow," Mike said. "Its snowing!"

I stuck my hand out and caught one of the little balls of white. "I have never seen snow before."

"You haven't seen snow before?" Mike gawked at me as I shook my head. "Ow!" Mike shouted suddenly as white came down from the sides of his face.

I knew instantly Eric had hit him. I bid Mike goodbye as he ran threw the halls with a big snowball in his hand.

Everyone was chatting excitedly about the snow. I had kept my neon blue binder at hand at all times, I had used a few times too. Jessica kept laughing at me with it walking down the halls.

As Jessica and I walked into the cafeteria I did my usual sweeping the cafeteria, looking at every table…..then the very last table. The Cullen table. I froze.

There were five people at that table.

Jessica pulled my arm.

"Bella? What's wrong?" she asked and waved her hand in my face. I quickly unfroze and hurried threw the lunch line grabbing a soda and nothing else.

We set down at our table. I tried looking away, I really did, but I couldn't.

I decided to permit myself one last glance at the Cullen family's table. I kept my head down and glanced up under my lashes. None of them were

looking this way. I lifted my head a little.

They were laughing. Edward, Jasper, and Emmett all had their hair entirely

saturated with melting snow. Alice and Rosalie were leaning away as Emmett shook his dripping hair toward them. They were enjoying the snowy day, just like everyone else……only they looked more like a scene from a movie than the rest of us. But, aside from the laughter and playfulness, there was something different, and I couldn't quite pinpoint what that difference was. I examined Edward the most carefully. His skin was less pale, I decided — flushed from the snow fight maybe — the circles under his eyes much less noticeable. But there was something more. I pondered, staring, trying to isolate the change.

I quickly turned my head away when I thought he was going to turn his head this way. I listened in on the conversation at my table a little, feeling him stare at me…..or maybe I was just getting paranoid.

"Bella," Jessica said in a sing-song voice. "Edward Cullen is starring at you." Oh great….so I'm not paranoid. That's a plus I guess.

I turned my head slightly to just look at him. He looked me right in the eyes and gave me a tight lipped smile. I gave him just the smallest smile then turned back to Jessica and shrugged my shoulders at her. She did the same then forgot about the whole thing when Mike told us about an epic snow battle in the parking lot after school. I agreed but couldn't get my mind off Edward Cullen and his little smile gesture. Maybe he felt bad about last Monday.

For the rest of the lunch hour I kept my eyes on my own table. My stomach hurt a little at the thought of sitting next to him in Biology.

I didn't walk with Mike to Biology, he was a big target for snow attacks and my binder wasn't that big. But as soon as I and everyone else entered the class room we all groaned in unison…..it was raining. Rain was washing all the white away. I felt a little sad….my first snow and it only lasted a few hours.

But that sadness was soon replaced with fear as I walked to my lab table, Edward Cullen starring at me. I kept my eyes down or at the window. I sat down slowly and instantly began to doodle on my binder with a pen.

He cleared his throat grabbing my attention to look up at him.

"I want to…..apologize for anything I may have said that upset you last Monday," he said. His voice quiet and musical. I was lost for words.

"Why…are you apologizing? I was the one who yelled," I asked, stammering threw my words a little.

"Yes. But I shouldn't have spoken as I did."

"How about we just start over. Clean slate," I suggested. He smiled at me and his face became open and friendly.

"Edward Cullen," he said and nodded at me.

"Bella Swan."

Mr. Banner started class at that moment so what little conversation we were having ended. I tried to concentrate as he explained the lab we would be doing today. The slides in the box were out of order. Working as lab partners, we had to separate the slides of onion root tip cells into the phases of mitosis they represented and label them accordingly. We weren't supposed to use our books. In twenty minutes, he would be coming around to see who had it right.

"Ladies first," Edward said and pushed the microscope toward me.

I had already done this lab in Phoenix. I snapped the first slide into place under the microscope and adjusted it quickly to the 40X objective. I studied the slide briefly.

"Prophase," I said, confidently.

"Do you mind if I look?" he asked just as I switching the slides. I starred at him for a minute before pushing the microscope over to him, my confidence flying out the window.

"Prophase," he agreed then changed the slides quickly.

He glanced at it quickly. "Anaphase," he said as he wrote it down on the worksheet. His writing was so nice, mine was horrible.

"May I?" I asked just as he was switching the slides. He smirked at me then passed the microscope to me.

I looked threw the eyepiece only to see he was right. Damnit.

"Slide three," I said without even looking at him. He switched the slides swiftly.

I took the most fleeting look I could manage.

"Interphase," I said and passed him the microscope before he could ask for it.

He took a small peek then wrote it down.

We were finished before anyone else was close. I could see Mike and his partner comparing two slides again and again, and another group had their book open under the table.

"Its too bad about the snow," he said quietly. I looked out the window even though there was nothing to see.

"Yea……..that was the first snow I had ever seen," I said and leaned my head against my arm.

"Really?" Edward asked and looked down at me. I nodded.

Mr. Banner came to our table then, to see why we weren't working. He looked over our shoulders to glance at the completed lab, and then stared more intently to check the answers.

"Edward did you at least give Isabella a chance to solve one?" Mr. Banner asked, skeptical.

"She solved most of them actually," Edward said, sounding so diviner. Mr. Banner looked at me quizzically.

"Have you done this lab before?" he asked.

I nodded. "Yes, sir. But not with Onion Root."

"Whitefish blastula?" he asked. I nodded. "Were you in an advanced placement program in Phoenix?"

"Yes."

"Well," he said after a moment. "Its good your lab partners." Then walked away mumbling under his breath.

"Can I ask you something?" Edward asked, quietly.

"Sure."

"Why did move here? This isn't the chosen destination of most people."

I sat up some. "Well….its complicated."

"I can keep up," he pressed. I sighed.

"My mom got remarried, last September," I said, it came out sounding so depressing.

"You don't like him," he guessed.

"No….Phil's okay."

"Then why didn't you stay?"

"Phil travels a lot. He's a minor league baseball player……but he isn't that good," I said, Edward laughed a little. His laugh was beautiful……musical almost.

"So, your mother sent you here so she could travel," he said it as a statement, as an assumption, not a question.

"No, I sent myself."

His eyebrows knit together. "I don't understand." He seemed frustrated to admit it.

I sighed. Why am I even explaining my life to him? I don't even know him.

"She stayed with me at first, but it made her sad and she missed him. So I decided to spend some time with my dad," I said. He nodded.

"And your mother was okay with those?" he asked after a moment of silence, making me turn and look at him. He gestured to his lip and my hand went up and touched my right snake bite. I smiled.

"She went with me to get them," I said, he smiled and laughed just a little.

Mr. Banner called the class to order and began showing the answers on slides over an overhead. From the corner of my eye I could see Edward, he was leaning away from me and had his hands fisted. I turned toward him just a little….just so much that it looked liked I was still looking forward but I could still see Edward. He looked at me but didn't say anything. I was tempted to nudge his knee, just to see what he would do, but decided against it.

When the bell finally rang, Edward rushed as swiftly and as gracefully from the room as he had last Monday. And, like last Monday, I stared after him.

Mike skipped over to my table and picked up my books and put them in my bag, like I couldn't, but I thanked him.

"That was awful," he said as he handed me my bag and we started our walk to Gym. "At least you had Cullen for a partner."

"I have done the lab before….you should have just asked me for help," I said.

"I'll remember that next time……Cullen seemed better today," he said as we both put our hoods up to brace the rain. I shrugged.

I didn't really keep up with Mike's chatting as we got in to Gym. I didn't keep up with anything during Gym. I got in two good serves but other than that I was no asset to my team.

The rain was just a mist when I was walking out to the parking lot with my hood up. I felt so happy when I got to my truck and was inside the warm, dry cab. I pulled my hood down and fluffed my bangs a little then started my loud truck. I looked around the almost empty parking lot…..and my eyes found a tall, pale figure leaning against as shinny, silver Volvo.

Edward Cullen stared back at me and smiled. He gave me a small wave then got into his car. His gesture was so kind that I caught me off guard and made me forget what I was doing before a honk woke me up. As I was pulling out from Forks High School I looked back to that shinny Volvo….and I swear I could see Edward Cullen smirking at me with a smile still on his lips.

Or maybe I am going crazy.