Chapter Six

The remainder of their time spent wandering the wilderness around Kirkwall was mostly uneventful and the small party had traversed Sundermount with little incident. When they had neared the top and both the Flint Company and Dalish camps Aveline had pointed out the debt she still needed to pay; to which Hawke had smiling smiled sheepishly and said it was on her list of things she needed to do and that Bethany would want to be there. When Varric and Anders had actually asked what debt exactly she needed to fulfil the blonde had simply offered them both an odd quirk of her lips before she jogged off to collect Kodi from whatever ditch he'd gone to explore.

The camp was smaller than the one on the Wounded Coast; just as she'd expected. And with no warning to prepare them Hawke, Aveline, Varric and Anders (with the assistance of the former's Mabari) tore through the group with ease and barely any damage on their side. There were the odd cuts, yes and Anders had had to patch up a nasty cut for Varric and, embarrassingly, a few burns he'd given them when is aim faltered for a fireball.

However the fact that nothing fatal had befallen them simply put the mage on edge; life with Hawke was never dull – he'd found that out the hard way during their visit to the Chantry. Trouble seemed to swarm around the young rogue no matter where they went, not to mention her inane clumsiness when dealing with her day to day life meant that something untoward should have happened by now.

Yet they were mostly unharmed, save the few scrapes that littered Marea's arms and across her cheeks from her escapade through a rather thorny bush and down a verge when she'd fallen down a rabbit warren in chase of Kodi. The peace and the feeling that something was about to spring from behind them set his teeth on edge and plucked at his anxious nerves; something just had to go wrong.

And then it did; they walked straight into a Highwayman's ambush.

"I jest you not, Ser Tethras; the thing was almost three feet long and probably weighed the same as a small nug...Took me and Carver two hours to get the damn thing out," Hawke said brightly, widening her arms to the size as she strode next to Varric. The dwarf chuckled his eyes glinting at the enjoyment of a well told tale.

"Oh really? Maker, Elfroot, only you could spin a lie about your vegetable patch and make it interesting...So what happened?"

Marea shrugged, watching Aveline striding ahead of them and tossing a large stick for the happily loping Mabari – the open air had done both Kodi and Hawke the world of good. She hated the hustle and bustle of the city as much as the war hound. She'd been bought up in villages and open spaces, not dingy back alleys, and though she'd learnt from Meeran how to look after herself it didn't come second nature; not like hiking did.

"We dug it up and ate it; nothing glamorous about that bit. Well, not unless you class Carver grinding it into my face during dinner when I teased him about his voice breaking..." she giggled, forcing down the slight bitterness of the memory; those had been happier times, when she'd had an ally.

Glancing over her shoulder she grinned playfully at the mage traipsing some distance behind them all.

"How you doing back there, Anders?" she called cheekily and waved over at him. "Those old bones not quite what they used to be?"

Anders sent her a withering look and rolled his eyes unable to help but smile a little bit despite it; it was then he had to fight away Kodi's slobbery affection, the hound having bored of his game of toss with the red headed and decided he wanted to come and persecute the mage instead. "Slow and steady, Hawke," he teased back, though found himself distracted as he had to swat the dog away as his large head embedded in the crook of his lower back, pushing him in the direction of the group.

"I'm not a child, mutt. I'm perfectly capable of following."

Kodi simply chuffed and bounced around his feet taking a mouthful of his coat in his teeth and tugging hard. Grumbling under his breath the blonde made shooing gestures in the dog's direction, pulling away from him, only to be dragged forward with a playful growl. "Begone! Go hound Varric, I think he's hiding dried meat in his pockets."

At the prospect of food the Mabari launched a new attack in the dwarf's direction, leaving Hawke laughing loudly and carefree.

...It was easy to forget that she was that much younger than him.

Anders sobered slightly at that thought and looked down at his feet. He would be eight and twenty by the time winter came, while he knew for a fact that she'd only just passed one and twenty in the spring just passed. Although it was unheard of for people to marry with such an age gap it was usually only for politics or nobility; seeing as Hawke was embroiled in either it wasn't a likely event. He'd only ever been interested in a quick tumble in the past; it had been the only thing he had permitted himself to have.

And while he could see himself falling for someone like her, he didn't see Marea falling for someone like him.

He was a mage for one and had no chance at offering her a normal life, he lived in Darktown of all places and he was almost seven years her senior. Not to mention he was still hopelessly tainted by the Darkspawn, had only thirty or so years left and couldn't possibly hope to give her a family...

She deserved someone better than him.

Marea's grinning, flushed face broke him out of his thoughts as she waved her hand in front of his eyes, walking backwards ahead of him and clucked her tongue in mild, maybe even put on, irritation. "You alright there, Anders?"

Embarrassed by the direction his mind had been taking him the mage nodded curtly and sidestepped her, trying to ignore the confused, hurt look that passed over her face and strode towards the head of their party. All was silent for a moment, Varric had been watching them from the side (after placating the Mabari with scraps) and he could hear Hawke fall into step a little behind him.

It all happened at once.

In an instant Kodi was growling at the top of the verge they were climbing, his hackles raised and teeth bared at their unseen assailants. The blonde rogue was suddenly running past both Anders and Varric pulling her blades from her back as she went bellowing for Aveline to not move. Both men froze at the command, luckily because the dwarf, as he now noticed, was only inches away from a tripwire, expertly rigged to two large battered looking barrels.

The warning came too late for the warrior however, and with a sickening crunch the large bear trap she had triggered snapped shut around her calf, the wicked sharp teeth piercing the armour easily and cutting into the soft flesh beneath. Aveline's surprised cry of pain and Hawke's panicked shriek alerted the bandits the Mabari had scented to their presence and within second they'd been completely overrun.

Without their human battering ram the battle had been a long hard slog. The red head had tried her best to help when she could, valiantly gritting her teeth through the pain and extending her body as far as she could to cut down any foolish enough to get too close. Varric defended her when he could, making sure none tried to attack where she couldn't reach, the mage in turn took out anyone who looked like they would overrun either rogues in the party. Marea tore through the ranks like a woman possessed, bellowing and grunting at the exertion as she twisted, dipped and parried. As she felled a man twice her size, wielding a large broadsword, Anders couldn't help but find her fluidity equally beautiful and terrifying, and made a mental reminder never to piss her off.

Kodi's flank was heavily bleeding by the time Varric had pierced the final bandit with a carefully aimed crossbow, he and Aveline had come out of the ordeal better than Hawke, who was hobbling, an arrow painfully embedded in her the soft flesh behind her left knee and bleeding from a cut near her collarbone where she'd narrowly missed a swing off one of the bastard's swords. She broke into a limping run straight to Aveline's side, ignoring the woman's protests for the blonde to be healed first and wrapped her small hand around the shaft, grinding her teeth as she started to pull.

The arrow head, and a large chunk of Hawke's flesh was moved before Anders had even been able to shout 'no', and the group flinched at her short, breathless cry. She shrugged away his hands as he tried to attend to her, and dropped to her knees with a grunt, scrabbling to loosen the mechanism that held Aveline's leg in place.

Marea was beside herself.

"Oh Maker, Aveline! I'm so sorry...I should have seen it sooner. If I – If I hadn't been playing around this would never have happened; I shouldn't have let my guard down," she babbled frantically, slicing the tips of her fingers and palms through the soft leather of her gloves as she prised the teeth from the red head's calf.

"Hawke– "

The blonde didn't allow Aveline to finish and shook her head, continuing her quiet mumblings and apologies as she worked, all but oblivious to what was going on around them. Kodi came to flop down by his mistress, whimpering softly as he arched his head to lick at the gaping, torn flesh on his hindquarters before turning his large, solemn eyes on Anders.

Finally Hawke sat back on her haunches, the trap in pieces in front of her and the dirt around her knees thick with a mixture of both Aveline's and her own blood before turning pleadingly to the mage crouched just behind her. The mage whose fingers were twitching at the effort it took not to grab her and heal the hole in her leg. "Heal her – please. I – I'll go help Varric look for more blighted traps."

Before he or Aveline could protest the rogue had struggled to her feet and limped away, crouching periodically to brush the dirt away from the trap so she could set her nimble fingers to work on taking it apart. For a moment Anders and Aveline didn't speak or more, the latter staring after the younger woman like she would like nothing more than to dash after her and drag her back by the scruff of her neck to be healed. With a sigh the mage quietly did as he was asked, painfully setting the crushed bone and healed her as best he could, sagging with the effort before eying his work critically.

"There," he mumbled, fishing in his pack to find his waterskin, taking a quick draught of water before handing it to the red headed warrior. She gratefully offered the liquid before flexing her leg to test her mobility, "It'll take a couple of weeks for it to heal completely, but you'll be able to walk on it for now."

Anders paused, mouth agape as Aveline pushed herself laboriously to her feet and jogged towards the blonde, who was diligently removing the trigger from a tripwire. "I said walk, not run!" he shouted after her, watching as she all but pulled Hawke to her feet and started marching her over to him.

Marea offered him a small, sheepish smile as she finally stopped in front of him and he rubbed his temples with a shake of his head. "Maker, Hawke. I don't have enough stamina or Lyrium potions to keep up with you and your injuries."

"I'm sorry."

When Anders looked up the look of miserable sincerity on her face had him sighing and he forced a smile, just for her – he would never do it for anyone else. "Don't be."

The next month passed in a similar fashion.

They'd just passed the forty sovereigns mark; their 'little' tasks usually morphing into large quests that involved Templars, mages and even Qunari. Another three had joined their group as well, Isabella, a rather racy Rivaini who Marea had immediately warmed to and answered the older woman's teasing with playful banter of her own, Fenris, a broody, ex-Tevinter slave and Merrill, a sweet, socially awkward Dalish with a taste for blood magic.

She'd been rather...blunt when she'd found out atop Sundermount and had actually chided the petite elf. However by the time they'd reached the Alienage she'd had suitable enough time to calm down and had agreed to go and visit the woman when she had the time.

Which seemed to be in demand where she was concerned.

Her list of 'things to do' pinned to the wall in front of the desk was getting longer by the day; a task for the Magistrate, an odd letter asking her to meet someone at a cave near the Wounded Coast, getting round to seeing what was going on in the Bone Pit and looking into the abduction of the Viscount's son – a task that had been bumped up to the top as a matter of emergency.

Eventually Hawke and Bethany, with the help of their newest recruit Fenris and Anders cleared out their ancestral home and had retrieved their grandfather's Will from the vault. She'd hoped that it would be some form of a peace treaty between them; but when she'd gently tried to defend Gamlen from the wrath of the two women she'd been scorned even worse than him.

Once more she'd become a sponge for the hatred and displeasure of the direction their life had taken. It was becoming rather tiresome actually.

And when she'd come back home from the Bone Pit with a few burns and cuts everything had blown up in her face.

"Enough."

Hawke turned to look over her shoulder, frowning slightly when she saw their mother darkening the doorway of their bedroom, Bethany lifting her book a fraction to hide behind, before returning to the task of pulling her nightshirt over her head. The sound of Leandra's low heels clicking against the floorboards was the only warning she got before a hand wrapped around her bruised upper arm.

"Did you hear me, Marea? No. More."

Stiffening minutely the blonde shrugged the older woman's grip away and tucked the hem of the overly large shirt into the belt of her drakeskin breeches – because she obviously wasn't going to be getting any sleep any time soon. Her eyes were as cold and hard as flints as she locked them with her mother's, whose own gaze wasn't much better. "I heard you, mother," she answered quietly, sounding rather bored with the conversation already. "But of course that doesn't mean I know what in the void you're talking about."

Leandra glowered at her daughter and folded her arms, her stance defensive as Kodi hopped from the lower bunk to stand by his mistress' feet with a low growl. She was almost taken aback. The Mabari had never growled at her before, but in the end there was no contest on where his loyalty lay; he had imprinted on Marea, though she never had and doubted she ever would understand why.

"No more bruises. No more cuts. No more sneaking out in the middle of the night to do Andraste knows what. Maker, no more of this."

She pulled the neckline of Marea's nightshirt down her shoulder and jabbed her finger at a barely scabbed cut she found there, her eyes narrowing as her point was made. Again the younger woman pulled away from the contact and Leandra felt a small pull at her maternal side. It wasn't that she didn't love her eldest...she simply didn't understand her and she couldn't help the anger she caused to well up inside her. She was so much like her father, despite her attempts of taming her wilder tendencies when she was younger.

It had driven a stake between them, one that neither could seem to get past.

Marea snorted and padded away from the bed and by extension her mother, not liking the way Leandra had trapped her there. "How else am I meant to get the money together, mother? This expedition isn't going to pay itself and we are so close to fifty sovereigns. Shall I take to whoring myself? Huh? Would that make you happy? Is it a more ladylike way of begging coin off of people?"

"From what I understand you've been doing a good enough job of that without any input from me," the older woman hissed spitefully.

For a moment Hawke froze and turned to look at her mother, shock evident on her face. She felt like she'd been doused in cold water. Surely her mother hadn't just said that...she must have been hearing things...

"Don't think I don't know where you go at night," Leandra continued, her hands fisted in her skirts. "That dwarf you wander about with. That elf you bought here the other week to feed; Maker forbid that Rivaini woman who you shamelessly flirt with. I know you visit them at night – "

"Don't you dare bring theminto this."

"As for that apostate...Anders is it? I'd rather di – "

"Shut. Up," Hawke hissed through her teeth, cutting across her mother as she slammed her fist into the wall behind her, sending another large crack skittering up to join the web above them.

"Bethany is just as worried about you as I am," Leandra added as if to add insult to injury and Marea watched as Bethany tentatively lowered the book she'd been studying to look at them both. "We jus –"

"You did this? You tell her every little thing that I do even when you don't have the full story? You nasty, conniving, evil, vindictive little bitch! You had no right, Bethany! No right!"

The loud crack of skin striking skin echoed through the room and for a long moment no one spoke. Hawke pressed a hand against her reddening cheek, feeling the warm liquid heat of her own blood where her mother's nails had pierced the skin and simply stared at Leandra. There wasn't surprise in her gaze, just resignation over whose side had been taken again.

"Don't you dare speak to your sister like that."

Marea looked long and hard at her mother for a moment, taking in the splotches of red on her cheeks from the heat of her fury and the way her chest heaved as she caught her breath. She wrapped her fingers in Kodi's ruff as he growled in Leandra's direction and held him back and away from the woman before turning her penetrating glare in Bethany's direction. The mage paled at the look and shrunk back into the mattress, quailing until the blonde smiled bitterly and shook her head, looking at the ground.

She could feel the tears prickling at the back of her eyes, but she wouldn't shed them here. Not in front of them.

"After everything I did...The Will, that painting..." she whispered heatedly and glowered up at the brunette on the top bunk, sneer still firmly in place as she reached for the enforced corset, pulling it on and tying it swiftly. Her breath hitched as she tugged the ties a little tighter than usual, but the pain was a welcome relief from the anger and sadness. She could tell from the way Bethany's gaze twisted in pain that the hurt, sorrow and betrayal that she felt was reflected in her eyes like a tangible creature and she pushed past Leandra to stand in the doorway.

"I'm done...I'm – I'm just done. Do what you want, just don't either of you ask anything of me, you won't get it."

From within the bedroom Leandra and Bethany could hear Hawke's heavy boots as they padded across the living area to the door, pausing only when Gamlen's voice interrupted the steady pace.

"When...will you be coming back?...Just so I know how much food to buy."

There was a long break and then: "I'm not sure if I am."

Both women flinched as the door slammed.

With clenched fists Marea stalked down at the stairs from Gamlen's house, grinding her teeth; call her a thief, call her a bitch, call her a liar, call her murdering piece of Wilds scum and she wouldn't disagree...But if there was one thing she wasn't it was a whore. Her dignity was one of the only things left that she hadn't soiled...to have her own mother insinuate that she had...

Hawke didn't make it far before the tears started to stream down her face; and not much further until she'd sat down on the steps to the docks to sob into her arms. She pulled her legs up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, burying her face into the woven fabric of her shirt. After a moment or so something cold and wet nosed past her hair to snuffle at her ear, closely followed by a warm, rough tongue and she threw her arms around Kodi, sobbing into his neck.

"I – I'm s-sorry boy," she hiccupped softly and bit her lower lip as she ran her fingers through his fur. The Mabari took her tirade of tears with remarkable poise, not once shifting to scratch or wiggle away from her when she pulled a little too tightly on the hair at his back; instead he gently licked the salty tears away and whined softly.

That was how Anders found her; one of the baskets she'd let him keep full of food as he skulked back to Darktown, his stores now replenished. He had almost passed her by, but the familiar timbre of the sobs hit a chord in him, and then she had whispered something into that blasted dog of hers neck and he knew for certain that it was his friend sitting on the steps crying.

For a moment he wasn't sure what to do. He'd never seen Hawke cry. She was always so strong, sweet, kind and bright – he supposed she had to be to keep up their bravado, and while he'd seen small moments of seriousness they had never lasted for overly long. The closest he'd seen her to crying was when Aveline had been caught in that bear trap.

"Hawke?"

She didn't immediately answer him; instead she just tightened her grip on Kodi and buried her face a little further into his ruff.

"Marea," he tried again, crouching down and gently touching her shoulder.

That caught her attention.

Sitting up suddenly she stared at Anders and bit her lip, quickly trying to scrub away the evidence of her tears from her face with the sleeve of her nightshirt. Her eyes were a little puffy, but she looked no worse for wear and the blonde offered him a watery smile, "A-Anders...What're you doing here?"

The veneer was cracking the longer he looked at her; the smile didn't meet her eyes and her lower lip was trembling. Sighing he settled beside her on the steps, shooing the hound out of the way as he attempted to lick him in welcome, "I was getting some food before the stalls shut up for the evening. What are you doing here?"

Hawke brushed her finger over the stone beneath them, chewing her lip into a bloody mess as she trailed smooth patterns. He could tell she was thinking about what to say, trying to create some kind of damage control so he didn't think her weak no doubt. "I was just...thinking."

"You usually cry when you think then?"

He hadn't meant for it to come out so curt but it seemed to do her some good and she shook her head with a sigh.

"I can't go home tonight."

"And you plan on sitting her until morning then?"

She sent him a sour look and he had to force himself not to recoil under her gaze. "No...I'm just thinking what my next move is."

"Ever the strategist," he teased drolly and she smiled slightly at the roll of his eyes. "What have you come up with so far?"

Marea didn't say a word for a moment and frowned at the ground, flinching as she finally pierced the skin of her lower lip. "I'm still thinking."

Sighing Anders pushed himself to his feet and took her hand, pulling her up with him. To his surprise she didn't resist and allowed him to wrap her arm around his and guide her down the steps. "Then you'll have to stay with me until you figure this out, won't you. Do you want to talk about it?"

"No."

The answer was instant that time and Hawke watched the mage bob his head in acknowledgement; turning to whistle to Kodi.

"Fair enough then."

"I had a friend like you once, you know," Anders chuckled over his mug of wine, grinning at the blonde from across the table. "Got into all kinds of trouble; dragged me along too. I didn't think I'd be doing that again...Look, I got a little...weighty the last time we talked...properly...alone...Sorry for putting that on you. Justice I mean...Back when...How long ago was it?"

Marea gave him a wry smile and giggled, raising an eyebrow as she made a small show of counting on her fingers, "Oh...about two months ago. But don't worry about it Anders; you'd be surprised how many people just tell me their darkest secrets; I must look trustworthy."

"You look...something..."

The blonde paused and eyed him for a few seconds before raising her own mug to her lips, taking a long draught. She wasn't entirely sure whether or not he had meant it as an insult or as a compliment and Hawke bent to scratch behind Kodi's ears. The war hound whined his pleasure and yawned, curling up between their feet, much to Anders annoyance, he'd been making a fun game out of seeing how many times he could 'accidentally' nudge his foot against hers before she noticed he was doing it on purpose.

"True. Proud...Like even if you don't agree with me you'll be honest. I just – I just hope I didn't seem too selfish when I told you about Justice. I didn't know what would happen; I figured a willing host, a friend...it had to be better than playing the demon and haunting a corpse..."

The mage trailed off and looked into his mug with a frown. It was a long time coming this talk, but while he spent most of his time with her they were very rarely alone; and it wasn't really a conversation he wanted to have when they were fighting for their lives.

"You tried to help a friend, Anders. No one's going to judge you for that; we can't always predict what affect our actions will have on the world or on ourselves," Marea said softly, casting her mind back to Carver. Her mother could never blame her more than she blamed herself...but Maker she seemed to be trying. "All we can do is close our eyes, take a steeling breath and make them with an honest heart."

Anders offered her a small, sly smile and nodded sagely, "Wise, kind and beautiful...You must have made a few deals with a demon yourself."

Hawke looked up at him suddenly; eyes wide and the dark red of a blush stained her cheeks before she looked down. He couldn't help but think it was a little endearing, watching her shuffle in her seat and chew her lip (that he'd healed on the way down to the clinic) in embarrassment. However he was suddenly worry that he'd passed an unknown boundary that she'd placed between them and he frowned, "I'm sorry it was – It was wrong of me to assume...I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

"You didn't...well, you did. But it was a nice uncomfortable...You just took me by surprise that's all."

She watched Anders relax slightly at the admission and nodded to himself, as if she'd just confirmed something. There was an emotion in his eyes she couldn't quite place, something she'd seen before but could never really name.

"I have to admit," he said softly, smiling as he took a steeling sip of the wine. "I thought I'd insulted you, a woman such as yourself is probably used to men like me being so...forward...You must be sick of it...So you don't mind me – "

Marea smiled deviously and shook her head, knocking back the last of her wine before speaking. "You're perfectly free you watch me while grinning lewdly. Maker knows you've not been doing a good job at hiding it so far..." She giggled at the look of horror and surprise and raised her eyebrows at him, "Nothing gets past Varric. Or Isabella for that matter...Which reminds me; about the electricity thing you were both talking about..."

Ander's groaned. He was going to regret this. "What about it?"

"Isn't it...a little uncomfortable?"

Maker do you have to look so innocent when you say that?

Chuckling he shrugged and grinned lewdly at her; in the exact way she'd accused him of. "You'll just have to wait and find out won't you?"

Her body warmed immediately at the suggestive tone in his voice and at the way his gaze dropped to her clavicle; and, swallowing thickly, Hawke smiled sluggishly. Reaching over she gently prised his fingers from his mug and lifted it to her own lips, "No point in letting it go to waste."

She almost spat the liquid out again in a fit of giggles at the scandalized and sour look on Anders' face before downing it and placing the mug next to her own. Smiling she got to her feet and walked around the table, giving his shoulder a squeeze, mumbling goodnight in his ear before sauntering behind the privacy screen, calling for Kodi to follow and leaving him to clean up and lock the clinic alone.

Little minx...

Maker he wasn't going to get any sleep tonight.