It'd been a long time since Jackson had…he had been trying so hard to be perfect someone was bound to notice when he stopped trying entirely. He just lay in his bed taking slow even breaths and trying to remain whole after his fathers…discipline. He was cold but couldn't find the strength it would require to pull the blankets over himself. He just did his best to keep himself together and the sign of passing time was the sun rising over the horizon. He knew he had to get up now if he wanted to get to school on time. He didn't. He just breathed and held the shattered remains of himself together, until he was able to drag himself to the bathroom and shower.

The warm water helped ease some of the bruises and cuts that left an asymmetrical pattern all over his upper torso. Soap stung the gouges that the buckle left after tearing into his sides. But it also helped wash off the shame and most of the anger, until he was left feeling mostly like himself. He toweled off and dressed in a loose pair of jeans and rather than pull a shirt over his bruised corpse, he just zipped a hoodie on. He went down stairs and made a meal out of pieces of fruit and some cream cheese on a slice of toast.

After eating, he grabbed his backpack of the floor where he left it, grabbed the blanket out of his car, and hiked deep into the woods. He walked until he no longer recognized the forest around him. He spread out the blanket near a tree so he could lean against it while reading. After a few hours of doing his homework he pulled out a sketch book and began to sketch the forest around him. The sun slowly followed its path through the sky and was soon past its upper most point making its way westwards to the Pacific.

Stiles waited until after third period to make his way from school to the Hale house. He had kept an eye out for Jackson all day but it was obvious he wasn't going to show up. He needed to talk to someone and Derek was the only person he wasn't completely disgusted with.

The drive was slow and the sun was hot which gave the day an ethereal sleepy quality which had Stiles feeling alone and more than anything the lose of…Her, was something he couldn't seem to escape, not today, maybe not tomorrow, not since…But his father loved him and that was enough…

He drove through the quite empty streets with his windows rolled down and the stereo off. He could hear the birds in the trees chirping away and a dog blocks away letting out a slow lonely litany of whines and yips. It's days like these, days where the world shone in its peaceful nearly edenic beauty that Stiles can feel the ghost of Her floating near him, like something you've forgotten but know have forgotten and so it tortures you until you either realize what it was or forget it entirely. She isn't there she never will be, but She always is, to him. Some days he can't actual bring himself to believe that She's really dead, his beautiful amazing…She would have known what to do…

People are used to seeing him happy and full of energy always with a smile, as if he were so well adjusted. The truth is that when Stiles is left alone, with no one left to have to convince he's okay, that's when he can finally allow the smile to slip. Lets himself just feel, for even a little, and what he mostly feels is scared and alone.

The anger was still there, from yesterday, but it had taken a different shape, it wasn't something he understood, it was foreign and made him feel completely and utterly naïve, reminded him how young he really was and how completely out of his depth he had gotten himself into. He didn't know why he card so much, he just didn't understand and more than anything that was what scared him. He just didn't understand and he had no one to talk to. He couldn't tell his dad not about…he would make a case out of, bring up charges. Scott was too busy with his own problems, and he really couldn't blame him even if he felt like he wanted to. He wasn't as close to Lydia and Allison as he would like to be and so knew he couldn't talk about himself with them. That only left Derek, who he knew even less. But if She were still alive he could talk to her, She would know what to say to make him feel normal, to make him feel loved no matter what, She would have helped unravel these strange string of emotions until all that was left was the truth. She would have…but no, there was no one. He let himself cry, here, driving through Eden, because if he was going to find Her it would be here, driving through paradise.

He rolled up to the Hale house and took some time to notice how much it had changed. The cold dark empty carcass, the scorched lonely shell of Derek's old family home was gone and in its place was a house, a home, somewhere that he had allowed himself to call home. The gravel drive way led up to a pleasant green lawn and the tall green structure of the new Hale house. The whole area was a stark contrast to the brown muted vegetation of the forest around it. He no longer felt so lonely.

He walked up to the porch, to the front door and rang the door bell, and waited. He knocked and knocked louder but it seemed no one was home. He pressed his face against the glass window of the front living room but didn't see anything. He made his way to the back and tried that door, locked. He tried the windows but none budged. He went back to the front porch and sat on the swinging bench Derek had installed as away to get Scott and Allison out of his house and to give them a place to hold hands and make out. He lay down and closed his eyes, this entire day was emptying him out leaving him raw and tired. He felt so…impotent…

A sharp jab in his shoulder jolted him out of his sleep. He opened his eyes and towering over him was Derek with his perma-scowl already set in place and his arms full of groceries. Stiles lifted himself off of the porch swing and rubbed his stiff neck trying to work out all the knots. Derek just stood there watching him and raised one of his perfectly sculpted eyes brows at him. Instead of talking Stiles reached out and took some of the bags from Derek while he opened the front door, they took a right to the kitchen and set the bags down on the counter.

"You shouldn't be here," said Derek putting away his groceries into cupboards, some into the fridge. He did it all with a strange nervous edge to his movements, jerky, but careful. He turned and looked at Stiles.

"I-I wanted to talk to you…"

"You should have come tomorrow."

"I kind of need to talk now," said Stiles unable to keep most of his annoyance and anger out of his voice,

"I can't, not today,"

"I just really need you to-"

"I said No," roared Derek eyes red and fangs out piercing Stiles with one of his silencing stares, Stiles couldn't help but take a step back a gulp down the lump forming in his throat.

"I'm sorry," said Stiles turning around and deliberately walking towards the front door. He was stopped by Derek's hand on his shoulder.

"No, its…I'm sorry, there's a full moon tonight and I…handling Scott was hard enough but with Lydia now…She has almost no self control…" Derek let out a stressed breath and turned back to the kitchen. Stiles followed.

"Oh…I completely forgot that was today…what time is it anyway,"

"It's a little past six, almost night time…"

Stiles couldn't believe he had slept for that long, it was strange how an entire day could so easily just slip past without him even realizing it.

"Are they coming over here or are you taking them into the woods,"

"We're all gonna meet up here and then head into the woods in the back of the house,"

"With Lydia here shouldn't you be going deeper into the woods, its still pretty close to town..."

"We've tried that but Lydia always throws a bitch fit since most of it involves hiking there before dark and then hiking back in the morning,"

"Oh," Stiles didn't know how to finish, this entire day was a waste and now he would have to wait till tomorrow to get Derek to go check on Jackson with him.

As the sun set Scott and Allison came to the house and Lydia showed up an hour later. The moon was slowly rising in the sky and Stiles wondered what it was they were waiting for, so he asked,

"What are you guys waiting for? Shouldn't you be out frolicking in the woods with the rest of the monsters?"

"Its still too early," said Scott, "we have to wait for the moon to get higher in the sky…its hard to explain…we can feel when its time and so far it's not time…"

They were all somewhat nervous, the transformation took a lot out of them and with the risk of maiming and killing someone always hanging over there heads these nights always ended up being more stressful then any of them were normally accustomed to any other day of the month.

"Its time to head out guys," Derek came out the back door to join them in the back yard.

Scott and Allison did their ritual of making out and saying goodnight and wishing the other luck and safety. Lydia just stood there rolling her eyes waiting for them to finish. Derek stood there allowing Scott this comfort especially today because one never knew what they were going to find in the woods, no one knew who was coming back out. Stiles wasn't normally accustomed to watching this, he normally would have been home by now. No one had ever invited him over…

The night was mostly silent the sound of bugs buzzing and cricketing was the only thing in the air. The moon was high in the sky shinning bright and big giving the night a nice glow. The pack stood there a second longer not wanting to give into the feral animal power already starting to get restless inside of them.

For a second everything was quite and peaceful and they knew that the night held no surprises, everything would be okay. Till they heard the scream, the loud, male, and painful scream tearing their peace of mind to shreds. The scream went on and on, the pack flinched when they first heard it and surrounded their humans to block them from whatever it was. The screams didn't stop they just continued getting louder and louder and then there were two screams one human, one other, animal guttural shout. The yelling stopped for only a second and then continued and they became more and more animal till all that was left was the primal roar of some foreign creature and the roar was loud and terrifying, Stiles was trembling, Allison was clinging to Scott who was already wolfed out. Lydia looked on the verge of going crazy and Derek just stood as calm as ever with a look on his face…something like surprise, but not fear. The roaring went on and on and finally after who knows how long it stopped.

All was quite again, the bugs who had stopped their nightly chorus continued chirping and buzzing and slowly the forest came alive with the sounds of nightly predators like owls and bats and maybe a bird or two. Everything was normal again and the pack waited and stood and guarded until finally it came, the thing they feared but was all too familiar to them, that sent a rush down their bodies, excited them, scared them, made them feel alive, the cold lonely howl of a wolf in the night.