Konatachang stepped up to Donkey the Kong and did that catsmile thing she does where she's all like "-w-". Donkey the Kong did not appreciate this racial stereotyping and karate KUNG chopped her in the chops.
"OWEEEWOWEEEZOWEE!" she shouted as she spiraled into a cliffhanger.
The End?
(That was the cliffhanger)
Anyhow, Miyuki immediately fell in love with Dinky kong. His inside out slippers were getting her vags all up ons dat wet smell.
"OMGOMGOMGOMG MY FAVOURITE PORN HAS COME TO LIFE!" exclaimed Diddy, "This is even better than that one time where I got blasted drunk in Okla- Vegas." Dunkey the kong was not amused. He chupped up Dinky next.
"WOW WTF DUNKEY I WAS TOTES GUNA GET MAH PERV ON" dinky kong wasn't even hard yet, what a liar. Donkey gave him a solemn shake of the wrist. He didn't have time to do much else, as Shrek would soon realize he had left a "little surprise" in his bed back at the swamp.
"OH SNAP, I DUN BETTER Get MA 'ASS' (cause he's a donkey) BACK OUTTA DIS MESS!" shouted Ediie Mur- Donkey as he galloped onward.
Dunkey the kong didn't really know what to make of this whole interesting phenom- manomana. If only Black Ops II would come out sooner, then he wouldn't need to pay attention to life itself for another 8 years, and could instead lose himself within the realm of 360 no scopes and massive 13 year old ego. Of course, it would be nothing compared to Duke Nukem Forever 3, because of course they probably won't get their shit right the 2nd time around and once the third hits it'll be damn damn damn goooooooood.
"Konachung, where are we?" asked that quiet purple one, not the bitchy one but that one with the same name as the emo kid from .hack.
"I don't know but I think we need to discuss the proper way to eat these bananas" Konaria remarked, picking one up and flipping it upside down, trying to determine whether to suck the banana mush out from the top, or to chew it from the bottom allowing the mush to spill out from the banana as she chewed. Of course, she could also take off a part from the one side of the banana and use it to dip it into the mush on the other side, but I could probably go on for the whole first 8 minutes off the series about this and not really get anywhere so I should probably quit while I'm ahead and mention that the banana was actually Dunkey's penis.
Dunkey ooked in pleasure, Konariata screaming and bit down hard, banana mush most certainly did appear. Dunkey the kong was a total masochist and pain was love.
Diddy quickly grew tired of the situation, slipping back into his tree with his inside out socks in toe. ON TOE. ON HIS TOES. FUCK.
Miyuki wanted to follow after Diddy, but being the stupid ditsy bitch she is she slipped on one of many banana peels, which quickly chained into a domino esque effect of her slipping over all of the banana peels.
Dominoes made terrible pizza, but that didn't stop Etsy the I. M. Meen Big Foot from ordering about 10 of them. He was a fucking beast, so it wasn't like he was gonna pay. Hell, he could just eat the friggin pizza dude and like, get a bonus side dish out of the order. Anyway, he was dickin around listing to audio book hentai when suddenly is cave bell rang.
"OOOO! EDDIE GET SOME DOMINO BUNGA!" Eddie was an illegal immigrant and as a result of such only knew broken English and poor Spanish. The gargantuan oaf lumbered towards the entrance to his cave, eagerly expecting a small person to deliver his meal HOWEVER IT WAS NO SMALL PERSON OF ANY SORT!
"OH AYE, I HEAR U HAVE BEEN ORDERING SOME O MY SWAMPIN PIZZAS!" the large green, monstrous, irish accented creature asked. Eddie's eyes opened wide in terror as he knew he would be unable to get away without paying this time (warning, lemons approaching). The pizza boy was of course Mr T. Eddie knew well that nobody fucked with Mr T and lived, that fucker was a tank. He gulped down what would possibly be the least salty thing he would gulp that night as Mr. T slowly approached him with an open palm.
"DAT'LL BE FITTY FIVE DOLLAS" he growled, "DO YOU WANNA PAY WIT CASH OR A DEBIT INTERACTION?"
Eddie had no where left to run, it was eat or be eaten (eating in his case most likely referring to oral sex) and he knew that if Mr T was doing the eating he would probably lose his entire body cause Mr T was a FUCKING TANK and would probably eat the flesh right from his freakin bones without even letting him die first.
"Eddie...be back wit MOONEY BOOGA!" he exclaimed, rushing back into the cave and slamming the door shut. Eddie had precious little time to prepare, for he knew some day his fate would come... though he had been prepared! Deep within the bowels of Eddie's base was a super secret escape pod! Nothing would be able to stop him from living his life now, he would escape to Russia where he would be welcomed in open arms for his unique talent at Russian poker.
Eddie's pod shot down through the tunnels of ice at a speed not all that different from a lion. The ship bolted off away from the icey home he had loved and been raised in, causing a single tear to escape from the furry beast's scrotum. He was safe now. He was free now. BUT SUDDENLY, A LOUD THUMPING APPROACHED FROM BEHIND! MR. T WAS CHASING HIM BY FOOT!
"HEY U SCRAWNY ASS CRACKA, WHERE'S MAH FITTY FIVE DOLLAS! U TRYIN TO GET YO ASS OUTTA HERE? DAMN NO YOU CRACKA IMA RAM MY FITTY FIVE INCH DICK UP YO ASS!" he screamed with the ferocity of a hundred bloodhounds. Eddie's ship moved fast, but T's body was faster and ready. Eddie was terrified, the end was soon to come and there would be nothing he could do. THUMP THUMP THUMP. The noise grew louder. THUMPTHUMPUMPUMPUMPUMPUMUMP. Eddie's body trembled in fear as he felt his death approaching. His eyes widened in terror, his body feeling colder than ever before amidst the icey tundra as suddenly, the tension caused his world to go black.
It was at this point that Mr. T had finished his business in Eddie's rectum. Little did Eddie know, constant exposure to the cold had caused him to suffer from hypothermia, and the pizza that he had ordered was in reality a male prostitute who had been ramming him forcefully against his will for the past 27 minutes. The fitty five dollars in reality was a jumbo-sized dragon dildo and Mr T was actually Homeless Dave from down at Quizno's. Eddie would never know of the violation he suffered, but maybe that was for the best. He could sleep now. Sleep in peace.
Konata was angry. She wanted out and she wanted out now. Living as Dunkey Kong's wife for the past 8 months had not been pleasant, and any day now she'd be expecting triplets. Miyuki still had not spoken to Diddy Kong as her moe (sizlack) personality would not allow her to make the first move. Diddy was too busy jackin to his usual shit on redtube to really pay any attention and thus that bitchy purple one who doesn't have the same name as the emo guy from .hack was going to take action of her own accord cause I figure she's the kind of prick who would shove her dick in other people's business like that. She knew there had to be some pimpin' playa on dis island that could help her get Miyuki to get her friggin tits on, but where? It was at that point she heard a loud The Sound of Music rap comin from a nearby surf shack. Inside would be the one she was after, but would it be enough to cause this taboo monkey on anime loli love? Tune in next week. Same Bat-Time, Same Bat-Channel! (Lucky Channel)