Epilogue
The sky was blood red and screams were heady in the air.
The Chantry was destroyed and lay in ruin across Kirkwall, shrapnel falling to the ground, laced with the putrid stench of sulphur and flesh. But the Champion was mindless to it all, to the horror on her companions faces, of the anger growing on the Knight-Commanders'; her eyes were trained solely on the familiar back of her lover, his shoulder tense with...fear? Andraste knew she had forgiven him many things over the years and she wanted to be calm about this, she wanted to diffuse the situation before it got out of hard, but Sebastian's shouts and her own wrenching gut was making this hard.
Maker all those poor people...
The evening service would barely have finished, people would have been ambling, socializing, united in their devotion and Anders had...
Marea had to forcibly keep her feet on the ground to stop herself from launching at him. Whether she believed in the Maker or not was besides the point, what he'd done was wrong.
"There can be no peace."
"Why? Why would you do such a thing?"
Anders just stood there, his face unreadable for a moment before hissing, "I removed the chance of compromise because there is no compromise."
Oh sweet Andraste he'd used her. That day in the Chantry, when he'd asked her to distract Elthina he'd used the composites they'd found together to do this. She was going to be sick; the bile was stinging the back of her throat and for a moment the ground fell from beneath her feet; vaguely she felt a gauntlet covered hand on her upper arm, subtly helping her keep her balance. Forcing a whisper of a smile at Fenris beside her she stepped forward until she was nose to nose with Meredith; her gaze wrathful, placing her weight between the Templars and Anders. Maker knew she was going to regret this...
"I demand you stand with us! Even you must see that this outrage cannot be tolerated."
"This...is chaos. We must help the Knight-Commander," Aveline said suddenly, her voice for once very weak and Hawke turned to look at the red head incredulously. This...bitch wanted to orchestrate a massacre and Aveline wanted to help? The mages were as much part of the city as the other citizens; to suggest they kill all of them because she was too much of a fool to see her lover's decline into madness was...unjust.
But before she could begin to voice her opinion Merrill cut across her. "No! This wasn't their fault. You can't possibly want to slaughter innocent people, can you?"
"It can't be stopped now. You have to choose."
The soft intonation of Anders voice stabbed a harder blow to her chest and she glared at him. How could he force this on her? They could have had a normal life, she would have protected him and...Justice...He had the decency to look at the ground after a moment or so and Marea ground her teeth. "You...selfish, bloody fool. This was why you needed me to distract the Grand Cleric?"
"If you knew what I was doing you would have felt honour-bound to try and stop me. I couldn't take that chance, Love. The Circle is an injustice, in many places beyond Kirkwall. The world needs to see."
"You fool! You've doomed us all!"
Anders turned his ire on the elf and shook his head, "We were already doomed. A quick death now, or a slow one later – I'd rather die fighting."
The battle between the remaining Templars as Meredith fled to warn those in her command was short and mostly painless. And that was when the thin veneer of strength started to crack. Aveline was the first to break the silence, her gaze solemn as their friends gathered around them, Fenris hovering nearby as Marea placed herself between Anders and Sebastian. For now at least.
"Hawke...Marea if you chose this...I don't – I don't know if I can follow you...But...I don't have a choice; my place is by your side. Where I'll always be."
Fenris however was far less forgiving. She had always had the inkling that the elf had never forgiven her for her choice to be with Anders, and now he gripped her upper arms, holding her still as his eyes bore into hers. "You would defend these mages after all they've done? Throw yourself at a hopeless cause? Get yourself killed?"
She desperately wanted to say something witty, something that would release the tension; but she did the only thing she could think of when words failed her – she nodded. The pain in her gaze had Fenris loosen his hold slightly and with a small sigh bowed his head, "This a mistake...but I won't abandon you. I owe you that much."
"You owe me nothing."
"We shall see."
Smiling sadly the blonde pulled away from the elf and looked across at Anders, the mage having settled himself on a crate, watching their interactions quietly. Hawke wasn't sure whether or not she was pleased that he'd realised she didn't consider him part of the group anymore and swallowing thickly she slowly padded to stand behind him, unable to look him in the eye.
"There's nothing you can say that I haven't already said to myself," he said softly, barely audible over the screams following them from Hightown. "I took a spirit into my soul and changed myself forever to achieve this. This is the justice all mages have awaited."
"Did that thing tell you to do this?"
There was a moments paused before the mage shook his head, almost sadly, "No. I...Justice didn't – "
"You should have trusted me enough to tell me what you were planning," Marea hissed, her hands clenching into fists by her side, bodily trembling.
"I know...But what if you wanted to stop me...Or worse what if you wanted to help- couldn't let you do that. This burden is mine to bear. The people fear what we can do, but to use that fear to bludgeon us into submission is wrong! And they do it with our blessing! And...if I pay for it with my life...they I pay. Perhaps then Justice will at least be free...For what it's worth, I'm glad that it's you...it was nice to be happy – for a little while... "
No one spoke for a long moment and no one moved; and then, suddenly, she had Anders by the front of his robes and had slammed him against the far wall, shaking him hard. "You selfish bastard! How can you sit there and ask me to kill you? To make you into a martyr? So people can rally behind you, curse your name?" she shouted, incensed by the way his sad eyes watched her as she cursed him, hit him and hated him. Her fury exhausted itself in a matter of minutes and she was horrified to hear herself sobbing as she slumped against his chest, "How can you sit there and – Anders you're...you're breaking my heart..."
There was hesitation in his body but eventually his arms came up and held her, and his mouth as at her ear, whispering apologies, sweet nothings – and despite herself she found herself forgiving him... Her hands slid up his chest to wrap around his neck and pulled him near, closing her eyes and letting his affections wash over her to soothe the pain.
"Hawke! If I'd been in that Chantry today would you be standing here waffling? Would you be holding that Abomination?" Sebastian shouted from across the street and strode forward to meet them halfway, "You know what must be done."
To all of their surprise, perhaps none more so than herself, Hawke pulled from Anders' embrace and turned on the prince, one hand warningly on the dagger at her belt, "Sebastian, he should do what he can to fix this and then he'll be handed over to the courts if we survive. Killing him here will do nothing but make him a martyr and deny the people the right to choose what they perceive as justice."
"No! You cannot allow this Abomination to walk free! He dies, Hawke, or I am leaving for Starkhaven. I will bring such an army with me on my return that there'll be nothing left of Kirkwall for these Maleficarum to hide!"
"You're being as rash as the day you put up that request on the Chanter's Board. Elthina was right to stop you from re-entering the Chantry, you have no sense of forgiveness - of compassion! The Grand Cleric would rather have died than see this mayhem," Marea snapped and quickly headed him off as he made to walk past her, pushing at the light plating across his chest.
"Love calm d – "
"No, Anders! This is not up for debate – no one is killing you. The only one who gets to put a knife in your back is me."
Sebastian's gaze darkened and he rose his hand to point a threatening forefinger in her face, his gaze flickering to the mage cowering behind her, "They hold no compassion, so why should I? Did he have a shred of it when he blew up those innocents? You're the one who taught me that it is the ends that matter, not the steps you take to get there. I swear to you, I will come back, and I will find your preciousAnders, and I will teach him what true justice is – and I'll make you watch, Marea. I'll make you suffer as much as he does."
Distantly she saw Avaline shifting anxiously in the background, ready to intervene if she was needed and Hawke's heart gave a painful throb at the realisation that despite everything they were still standing by her. Everyone but Sebastian...Anders' hand brushed her shoulder again as the prince stalked from them and she turned to look at him; the hurt was still fresh in both of them, but she allowed him the heal the clotted scratches across her cheek.
"We should get to the Gallows before this gets out of hand..." she said finally, sparing a glance at the rest of the group. Striding towards the steps that would lead them to the docks she sighed, rubbing her temples, "With any luck Meredith might see reason...Guh, who am I kidding; she'll never see reason. I knew I should have stuck a knife in her back when I still had the chance..."
"Marea..."
Glancing up from Orsino and the rough battle plan they had put together Hawke frowned as Anders drew closer; he had been the only one she hadn't dared to speak to yet, and with the plans drawn and everyone knowing their orders there was little else she could do to postpone the inevitable conversation. Inclining her head in the First Enchanter's direction the blonde slowly met her lover halfway; he gestured for her to move into the shadowed privacy of the furthest corner, away from their companion's prying eyes, before he finally spoke.
"I should have trusted you, even after all we've shared I never thought you'd spare my life," he said softly and reached up to gently brush the recently healed skin across her cheek and jaw, his gaze softening from the glower it had been twisted in.
"I assure you, I'm as surprised as you are."
Chuckling sadly, Anders nodded and added, "If we live through this you know I'll be hunted, no one in Kirkwall will offer me mercy...but...if you would join me. I'd rather be on the run with you than safe with anyone else."
For an obscene moment Hawke actually thought about turning him down; after everything that she had done to protect him from the Templars, the Chantry...himself, he'd managed to throw it away in a matter of moments. But the sincere hope on his face didn't give her much choice – she would never be able to live a day without seeing him. "Then Maker help me we'll be fugitives together..."
Leaning forward he pushed her hair from her face and pressed the lightest of kisses to her lips, "We'll fight for a world where our children can be born mages and free. Ten years – a hundred years from now, someone like me will fall in love with someone like you, and there will be no Templars to tear us apart. May the Maker bring us victory, my love, or everything else is meaningless."
'You'll stay behind the front line; I don't want any more harebrained heroics from you today. You've already taken five years off my life," Marea whispered quietly and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him close. "We'll get through this and I'll tear out Meredith's heart for good...without lyrium tattoos."
"As blood thirsty as ever," he whispered fondly into her ear and pulled back a fraction only to capture her lips in a brutal, desperate kiss, one of apology, promise and need. The familiar sensation of teeth and tongue eased the ache, if only a little, and she knew they would survive, and they'd live their life as normal as they could. They'd take whatever and whoever came their way. Together. As it was meant to be.
It was only when Isabella called out to them that they finally parted. "Hoist up your breeches you two, we've got company!"
Rolling her eyes Hawke pulled away and took his hand in hers, kissing his knuckles once before turning away to the fight, whispering a soft 'I love you' as she left. It was going to be a long night, of that she was sure, and she barked out orders as she joined Aveline, Fenris and Isabella at point, ready to face the Templars as they came.
"Marea Hawke!"
Glancing over her shoulder to cast a curious look at the man she'd just left and returned his small smile as he quietly mouthed the words she'd rasped in parting.
That was all she needed to know.
Because no matter what had been said in the past, no matter what mistakes they made, or how hard they had to fight; they loved each other.
Maker knew that was enough for her.