Friday night was long dark and filled with emotion. Jackson was used to sleeping with Derek as wolves, but this night he found himself entering Derek's bed as himself, as a human. It made him self conscious in a way he wasn't used to. As a wolf he felt comfortable, he felt safe to have his Alpha protect him, pet him, lick him, it made him feel…But tonight with Derek looking at him from the other side of the bed as Jackson undressed down to his underwear, as Jackson pulled the sheets down and climbed in and turned his back to Derek, well it made him aware of himself in strange way. It felt like they were crossing a boundary, something that maybe they shouldn't, but Jackson didn't want to let Derek down. For a brief moment he wondered if he had done this with Scott or Lydia but somehow he knew he hadn't.
He could hear as Derek slowly undressed, could feel the dip of the bed as Derek sat to untie his boots and take off his jeans, heard them fall heavy to the floor. He felt the sheets being peeled back and then Derek's arm wrapped around him and pulled him close until they were pressed together the same way they awoke after a night in the woods. Jackson could feel Derek's chest against his back and could feel something else pressing against his ass, something he was going to try real hard to ignore. He felt Derek wrap one arm firmly across his waist while the other snaked under his head and reached forward until he could entwine his fingers with Jackson's.
This was all new, sort of. They slept the same way as wolves and when they awoke as humans, well they woke up like this, pressed as close together as possible, Derek's arms around him keeping him safe. But this was different, it didn't have the same Alpha Beta dynamic, this was Jackson and Derek. They weren't even naked but Jackson felt…shy. Derek just pressed his head against the back of Jackson's and laid still.
Jackson listened to the house around them, listened to the creaks of the new house settling onto the foundation of the old one. He listened to the animals in the woods, could hear them so clearly. Heard an owl swoop down and catch a mouse firmly in its talons and fly away. He was aware of the warmth that Derek seemed to radiate off his body, could feel it seep into his bones and flesh and slowly making him melt, relaxing him even when his mind seemed to not want to rest.
It was still early for Jackson, a little past nine, but he and Derek had tired of watching television and Derek told him he was spending the night. But now he was in bed and couldn't sleep. His senses were on overdrive, the feel of skin on the skin, the heat, every one of his nerve endings was aware of the flesh pressed against him making him uncomfortable in a way he didn't understand and set him on edge.
Derek began running his hand up and down his body, petting him, from his lower abs up to his chest and back down. For a few minutes it unnerved Jackson more than anything else, but as the minutes ticked past and the nightly world around them seemed to settle into a lull so did Jackson's mind. He decided to just enjoy the feeling, whatever it was.
Saturday morning he awoke groggy and confused. He wasn't sure where he was and for a few minutes just laid in bed not ready to face the world. What finally awoke him was loud banging coming from somewhere downstairs. He tried to ignore it but the sounds of another person reminded him of where he was and who he was with. He got off the bed and stretched, lifted his arms high above his head and leaned back, allowed his spinal cord to breath, his muscles to stretch. Jackson felt better than he had in a while. He still had problems but felt better prepared to face them, for now, he was content in walking to bathroom and taking a shower.
He was gentle over his giant bruises, they still ached deeply and he didn't want to cause himself more pain than he was already in. He used Derek's soap and shampoo, the soap was scented like almonds and peppermint, it was amazing. The shampoo had some wood like scent like pine or something, Jackson didn't know. He had never thought of Derek's scent before, but using his soap made him realize how much it had permeated his life. This was the scent that had invaded his life since turning, the smell of pine and almond's and beneath that something wild and predatory and…manly. He liked it, it was…comforting.
When he finished showering he rolled back the door and stepped out into the cold bathroom, there were no towels and he didn't bring any clothes with him, before he could think of what to do the door swung open and in walked Derek. All Jackson had time to do was cover himself with both hands and just stare at Derek wide eyed. Derek just laughed, hard, "Jackson I've seen you naked before. Anyways, I heard you taking a shower and wanted to bring up a couple towels for you. You're going to steal more of my clothes right," Jackson nodded, "yeah, I thought so, so I brought some for you too." Derek laid everything out onto the sink and then walked out with a giant smirk on his face leaving Jackson feeling embarrassed. Yes, Derek had seen him naked but this felt different, the entire night had felt different, and Jackson wasn't sure what that meant. There was one thing he was sure of, he was simply tired of being confused.
They ate breakfast in the backyard at the picnic table, watched the sun rise over the trees and dry their leaves of dew. It was peaceful and beautiful in a way Jackson never noticed, he was always too busy before, with training and school, parties and friends, he had never taken the time to just enjoy the beginning of the day this way. Derek heaped his plate with eggs, bacon, sausage, and set a pile of waffles in between them and all natural maple syrup. They dug in until the food was gone and both were full. Jackson helped wash all the dishes since Derek cooked. Afterwards he did most of his homework and called Danny to get what he had missed on Friday.
Derek suggested they go for a run to burn off their big breakfast and Jackson had to remind him that he didn't have any clothes, Derek let him borrow more. He enjoyed seeing Jackson wearing them.
They ran through the woods down old paths most people didn't use anymore from fear of mountain lion attacks or getting lost. They ran past rivers and open clearings filled with patches of flowers and clovers and areas so thick with moss it made the ground beneath their feet slippery. Derek led them out of the woods and into the town and they ran past streets with lazy drivers and people going about their day. They made their way to the town park and ran around it.
Jackson stopped on a hill and smelled it, lemons and frosting, he sniffed and followed and there was Stiles. He was with his friends, they were having a picnic and seemed to be having fun, Jackson could hear their laughter from where he stood. Stiles looked happy, why wouldn't he. He was smiling wide as Scott chased him around their blanket. Lydia and Allison just sat their like two mothers watching their missed behaved children. Derek ran up to Jackson and pushed him to keep him running. Jackson just turned and ran with Derek. He let the muscle strain and his breathing consume him for the next hour as he and Derek ran around Beacon Hills.
When they returned to Derek's house they drank from the hose in his back yard and when he turned his back to stretch Derek sprayed him with freezing cold water down his back. Jackson let out a yelp and tried to dodge Derek's spray but couldn't, so he tackled. Derek was expecting this though and dodged and weaved and sprayed Jackson right in his face making him splutter. Jackson launched himself at Derek and soon they were fighting over the hose. Jackson never laughed so hard.
After showering and eating Jackson made his way home, Derek dropped him off, he wanted to pick up a few things and promised Derek he would drive back himself. When he got inside his house it was empty, as usual. The house was stuffy and dark. He went up to his room and grabbed his gym bag and stuffed it with some spare clothes that actually fit. He looked underneath his bathroom sink and found a new tooth brush. He grabbed his laptop and made his way downstairs. He checked the fridge and grabbed an apple that was surprisingly still fresh and left. He ate the apple on the way back to Derek's.
When he arrived he knocked on the front door but Derek didn't answer so Jackson made his way to the backyard and found that door unlocked. He made his way into the kitchen and the dark empty bottom floor.
"Derek…" He called out but no one answered. He made his way upstairs as a bad feeling crept up his spine. He made his way through the dark hallway to the master bedroom and slowly opened the door. The lights were on, Derek was sprawled across the bed still fully clothe snoring. Jackson released the breath he'd been holding and made his way into the bedroom. He must have fallen asleep while waiting for Jackson, apparently Derek had the energy levels of an old man.
Jackson slowly positioned Derek correctly on the bed, pulled him across until his head was on the pillow. Jackson then slowly started undressing Derek starting with the flannel he was wearing, then his shirt which hugged Derek's muscled chest tightly making it hard to remove. Jackson unbuttoned Derek's jeans and slowly slid them off his legs were he had to stop and pull off his boots. He then pulled the covers over Derek and let him sleep. Jackson went back downstairs into the kitchen and did some homework for a few hours.
At midnight Jackson returned to the bedroom, undressed, and got under the covers. He laid there for a few minutes but couldn't sleep. He didn't know what was wrong, he tossed and turned but his mind wouldn't stop. He wasn't thinking about anything, he just tried hard not to think but sleep wouldn't come. It wasn't until Derek, in his sleep, wrapped his arms around Jackson and pulled him close, did Jackson realize what was wrong. Now, he was safe, now he could sleep.
Sunday Derek decided that it was time to start Jackson's training. They spent the morning exercising, working their bodies to their limit. Jackson pushed himself past his limit and when he could feel his body start to give, he felt the wolf rise to the surface, fighting for release. Derek taught him how to push it down, taught him to focus on something that brought him peace. So Jackson thought of almonds and pine cones and allowed the odor to suffuse deep into his senses, allowed it calm him and push the wolf down. It took several minutes but it worked. They practiced until Jackson could push the wolf down, calm it easily and quickly without trying.
Then they did the opposite, Derek forced Jackson to turn completely as fast as he could, from human to wolf and back again, over and over until Jackson was exhausted, until the change happened languidly and painfully. By the end of this exercise Jackson was covered in sweat, his clothes had long ago been discarded to ease the transformation. He couldn't breathe, couldn't focus, he could feel the bones and muscles beneath his skin swimming and moving without stopping, felt his face morph and change and grow and shorten. It was painful and overwhelming, he passed out.
When he came to he was lying on the ground, his head was in Derek's lap as he slowly combed his fingers through Jackson's hair. "How long have I been out?" Asked Jackson, Derek said only a few minutes. He stayed there a while longer and watched the clouds slowly float past overhead. Let the sweat on his body dry, leaving his skin cold and goose pimply.
There next training session involved changing individual body parts, hands to claws, eyes to wolf eyes, teeth to fangs. It was easier than the full transformation but over time took the same amount of energy. Sometimes, if he lost focus, he could feel himself going full wolf. At those moments he would stop and think of Derek's scent and let the peace that that brought him calm the wolf.
They stopped past mid day to have a late lunch. Derek made chicken breasts in a pan with a white wine sauce. Jackson had no idea Derek could cook like this, the food was delicious and fresh and after working out non-stop since morning the meal filled him up and gave him energy he'd lost since waking up. Jackson dressed, and together they cleaned up after their meal and headed back outside.
Next was self defense, Derek wanted Jackson to be able to defend himself as a human, a wolf, and the creature in between, the Were. So first they fought as humans. Derek found out quickly that Jackson, being the jock that he was, had taken various courses in self defense and in fact had black belts in certain forms of martial arts. Before the pain he had been taking Krav Maga. But Derek was skilled in his own self taught form of fighting. Together they sparred, attempting to find the opening in the others defense. Derek got his chance when Jackson slipped on a patch of mud, Derek pushed and Jackson fell. Derek pinned Jackson arms underneath his body and held him down as Jackson struggled to get free. Derek enjoyed the feeling of Jackson squirming beneath him, enjoyed the places their bodies touched, and wondered if this is what it would feel like to fuck Jackson.
Derek was literally knocked out of his thoughts when Jackson lifted his legs against his chest and then kicked out, sending Derek flying. They were both back on their feet and this time Jackson threw a vicious punch which Derek blocked with his arm, it hurt like a bitch and his bones rattled. Jackson spun and brought his other arm around which landed a blow directly across his face sending him to the ground stunned. Jackson was over him with a look of completely fear asking him over and over if he was okay. Derek laughed and before Jackson could react had him in a head lock. Jackson tried to squirm out, but Derek had a tight grip. Derek grabbed Jackson by the back of the shirt and attempted to toss him to the floor but Jackson simply slipped out of his shirt and tried kicking Derek. Instead, Derek grabbed the foot before it could land a blow and twisted it until Jackson was face down on the floor. As Jackson tried to regain his footing, lifted himself onto his knees, Derek pounced on top of him. Jackson's head was pressed against the ground twisted to the side exposing his neck. His ass was in the air and Derek was pressed tight against him. Derek sunk his teeth deep into Jackson's neck. The result was unexpected and instantaneous, Jackson's entire body went limp underneath Derek. His mind went blank and he stared to whine somewhere in the back of his throat, deep and low. Derek just sunk his teeth deeper until he felt the skin give and Jackson's blood started to seep onto his tongue, it was amazing. Derek's eyes flashed red.
Stiles pulled up the drive way to the Hale house. Sure enough there was Jackson's Porsche parked behind Derek's Camaro. He pulled his jeep behind the other cars and stepped out. It was early evening and the sun hung low painting everything with its orange glow. He walked up the porch and knocked on the front door and waited. No one answered. He looked in the windows but nothing was moving so he made his way to the backyard. He could hear labored breathing and grunts and the sound of slapping flesh. As he rounded the corner he saw Derek and Jackson, they were fighting. Derek grabbed Jackson by the shirt and Jackson just took it off leaving Derek holding the empty piece of clothing which he let fall to the floor. Jackson then kicked out, but his blow never landed. Derek twisted his ankle and Jackson fell hard on the floor. Derek jumped on top Jackson and pierced his neck with his fangs.
"Hey what are you doing?" Yelled Stiles as he started towards Derek, before he could get close enough Derek looked at him with glowing red eyes and growled deep. Beneath that sound, Stiles could hear Jackson making small hurt noises. Stiles started walking towards them again and this time Derek looked up and released a loud vicious roar which nearly knocked Stiles to the ground. It also seemed to have knocked Derek back into his senses. His eyes returned to normal and for a second he seemed really confused. He just stared at Stiles, and Stiles stared back. It was Jackson's low whine which stopped the staring contest. Derek got off Jackson but Jackson didn't move. His Alpha demanded submission and so he gave it. Derek tried to coax Jackson back but it didn't work. He just kept his eyes closed and stayed on his knees.
Stiles didn't know what was wrong he just stood by awkwardly wondering what he had walked into. Derek sighed audible and then lifted Jackson to his feet. He was limp and couldn't walk without help. Stiles walked over and lifted Jackson from the other side and together they walked him into the house and laid him on one of the sofas. Jackson's neck was still seeping blood, the wound wasn't closing. Derek had to place a bandage across it and tape it on. Stiles and Derek returned to the kitchen, Stiles took a seat at the table and finally just asked, "What the fuck was that? What were you thinking, you could have hurt him badly!"
"Its…I don't know, I just had to do it…" Derek had no idea what made him bite, all he knew was that when Jackson turned his neck, it meant something, the wolf inside him demanded he bite, and so he did. The way Jackson's body went limp beneath him and the taste of blood in his mouth, it made him bite harder and he could feel himself completely losing control felt the wolf rise to the surface and if Stiles hadn't showed up he didn't know what he would have done.
"Jesus Derek, are you sure we shouldn't take him to the hospital? The wound isn't going to stitch up liking other wounds remember. You're the Alpha, Beta's can't heal wounds given by an Alpha." Stiles was worried, there had been a lot of blood. Even now he could see the way Derek's mouth was covered in it.
"He should be fine…"said Derek not really sure, mostly hoping. He didn't want to have to explain away the wound to some uninterested resident. Instead he put a can of Coke in front of Stiles and opened one for himself. Stiles stared at the can and relented, opened it and drank. It was cold, the best way to drink a coke. Together they sipped their drinks and waited.
"Did…Did Jackson tell you about what…about what I did…" Stiles was embarrassed, but more than anything he was ashamed. He couldn't believe he had done something so shitty. The least he could have done was explain the situation to Jackson before doing anything, he probably would have understood.
"Yeah…he told me he saw you kissing someone else after you two went on a date," Derek said it like a fact. He didn't add anything to his tone, but that made it worse for Stiles. The stark reality of the situation just made it worse. he wasn't that type of person, he didn't go around date one guy after another, and that made what he did so much worse.
"It was so stupid, it wasn't even what it looked liked-"
"I don't really care Stiles, you can juggle as many guys as you want and justify it however you like. But at the end of the day you hurt him…I always thought you were better than that," Derek attacked with his words. Stiles was stunned and didn't know what to say, he couldn't defend himself. Instead he hung his head in shame, he couldn't meet Derek's eyes.
Derek actually felt guilty for saying that. Stiles was still a boy, he didn't know what he was doing and he didn't know how to deal. Derek felt stupid for actually thinking that Stiles might have been some sort of competition. He sighed again.
"Listen, I didn't mean it like that. I don't know what happened, but Jackson is my pack, my one and only pack member, and I will protect him. Even from his friends…or boyfriend," said Derek placing a hand on Stiles' shoulder. Stiles understood, he knew Jackson and Derek were close, of course he wanted to protect him.
They both just waited for Jackson to come to, which he did a few minutes later. He sheepishly walked into the room, shirtless in a pair of shorts. He looked really embarrassed and more so when he saw Stiles. "I'm hungry," was all he said as he sat at another seat across from Stiles. Derek laughed and began digging in his fridge. He made a sandwich, one for each of them. They ate in silence.
It was dark out, the sun fell below the ocean and only a faint purple glow could be see at its edge. Jackson stepped out into the back deck and stared out into the dark back yard into the woods. He could see the small animals running in the underbrush of the woods. Could see nocturnal birds in the branches of the trees, could see their eyes shinning back at him. Stiles stepped out with Jackson and stood next to him. They both just stared out, Stiles could only see the dark outline of trees and a few reflective eyes, maybe a cat…
"Can I explain what happened? On Thursday, it's not what it looked like. It doesn't excuse what I did but it wasn't…I don't like Matt," Stiles was trying hard to explain himself.
"I thought you liked me, but you made out with Matt. But you don't like Matt…I don't get it Stiles," Jackson was confused he didn't know what Stiles was trying to tell him all he knew is that it was pissing him off.
"..UGH, okay my dad told me that I had to date other guys because me being attracted to you made me realize I was gay so I guess he thought it would be a good idea to get…I don't know more gay experience by going out with another guy. Of course I didn't want to, I only wanted you, but he told me I had to. But I thought no one would say yes so I asked Matt cause I thought he was straight, he is by the way. He only said yes because one day in anger he came out to his parents and having a date with me was sort of his way of rubbing it in their face and I was angry about it, about him saying yes, about him making me feel stupid, and then I thought the best way to get revenge was to kiss him…" Stiles ended his long tirade short of breath. Jackson didn't say anything he just continued staring into the woods.
"Stiles…I don't know what you want me to say. Yeah, that was a shit situation your dad put you in, but you could have told me, you could have just gone on the date and left and that would have been that. No, instead you decided to do it all behind my back and then kissed someone in a way…and I doubt you would have told me. So if you're asking me where we go from here…well…I don't know. All I know is that when I saw you kissing that guy it hurt, it hurt more than I was ready for…" Jackson wasn't going to cry, he was tired of crying, of feeling bad. Instead he just took a deep breath and closed his eyes. "I like you Stiles, I really do, but I don't know if we can fix this but maybe…maybe we can go back to being friends again…maybe one day…I just…" Jackson had to stop, he promised himself he wouldn't cry, he promised himself he wouldn't cry, he promised himself he wouldn't cry.
Stiles made no such promise, he cried, he couldn't hold it back. He fucked up a relationship before it had even started. He had been dreaming of getting closer to Jackson ever since that day that he bath him and then broke down with him and in one pathetic gesture he completely pushed him away. But there was hope, and yet, from where he was standing he could see Derek watching them and he knew that he might have lost a game he didn't know he was playing.
Jackson walked Stiles to his car and watched him climb in. Stiles shut the door, he gave Jackson a tear filled smile which nearly broke Jackson's heart. Jackson watched as Stiles drove away. They had promised to hang out at school in the hopes that they could fix their friendship and maybe their relationship. Jackson didn't want to lose his only friend, he didn't want to lose his nearly boyfriend and yet Stiles hurt him and he didn't know how to deal with that, he didn't want to hurt again. He absentmindedly brought his hand up to rub over the bandages on his neck the way he used to rub the scars left from Derek's claws.