Disclaimer – I own nothing but the plot. :)
A.N- I know I haven't updated in a looooong time, and all who still read probably want to kill me BUT the truth is that I have no excuse but laziness and lack of muse. But, without further ado, the chapter everyone has been waiting for *hopefully people still want to read it*: Rogue and Gambit finally see each other! Enjoy! :)
Queen of My Heart
LoverGurrl411
/And I found myself face down in the ditch, booze in my hair, blood on my lips;
A picture of you holding a picture of me in the pocket of my blue jeans.
Still don't know what love means. Still don't know what love means/
-Jolene by Zac Brown Band
Chapter 7 – What Love Means
The road was muggy and the trees stretched too far for Rogue. She wanted the roads to become more direct and the miles to become shorter so she could finally reach Gambit. Finally. Her heart was pounding and Lance was driving next to her, his eyes never acknowledging her anxiety which was starting to creep onto everyone else.
"We're almost there" Lance said, voice strong. He was the rock in this car. He was the only string keeping everyone from falling apart, and it hurt Rogue a bit to know that at one point in her life her rock had been Scott. But she left him behind. Rogue left Scott, and broke any ties she had with him; if there was ever a possibility that Scott could one day love her, like he loved Jean, she ruined any chance of it.
"Good" Rogue responded. There was no reason to say it, but it was something to do, even if for just a moment. She needed something to take her mind away from the memory of the hurt on Scott's face when she turned and left. Her insides hurt at the memory that branded itself deep within her.
12 hours on the road and not a second passed by that Rogue wasn't haunted by the past that she left behind in New York. She wanted to take her gloves off and just hold someone's hand. Wanda's or even Toad's would do. Just to feel the contact of comfort…Lance's hand was right next to hers sitting on top of the gear shift. But there were forbiddances that were unspoken between friends. At one time in Rogue's life she would have grabbed Lances hand for comfort, no question about it, but now isn't then. That time was replaced with the now that declared that only Kitty was allowed to hold Lance's hand. Rogue wasn't a part of the Brotherhood anymore. But then again, after Rogues latest stunt, she wondered if she was still an X-Men.
"How freaking long does it take to get there! I'm cramping back here! I've got to move move move!" Pietro nagged from the back. He was becoming twitchy and it only made Rogue yearn just that bit more for Gambit. Irrational tears spring forth in Rogues jade eyes, but no one notices.
No one was so in tune with Rogue's emotions like Gambit was, and she missed that level of knowing she had felt when she had left to New Orleans with him.
"Oh, shut up already!" Wanda yelled at Pietro. Lance gave a quick look to Rogue, which was significant enough that Rogue understood that things were going to get really tense really soon if they didn't stop for a break…but Rogue didn't want to stop. She didn't want to do anything but feel wrapped around Gambit strong arms, and pretend for a just a moment that he loved her and she loved him. Rogue wanted to pretend that there wasn't a war brewing and that harsh realities were just nightmares. She wanted to know the level of peace a lover's touch could bring.
But she couldn't touch anyone. Not really.
"Ah just want to get there as fast as possible." Rogue spoke to the entire car. She was silently telling Lance not to stop for a break. She was unconsciously settling everyone down in the jeep; her obvious pain making them feel like jackasses.
"We know, girl." Wanda spoke, and her voice was so compassionate for once that it was out of character and everyone except for Lance turned to look at her.
"What's gotten into you?" Toad asked, trying not to let Blob's loud chewing on gum bother him…but it was getting to him. Bad.
"What the hell are you trying to say?" Wanda glared at Toad. His leg started to twitch. Blob saw it, and tried to get everyone's attention.
"Uuuh, guys" Blob said, mouth still full of multiple pieces of chewing gum.
"I'm just saying, you're bein' nice. You're never nice." Toad tried to explain, but he saw Wanda's glare just become more pronounced and tried to back pedal. "B-but Wanda, Babe, you know I appreciate you. I think you're a saint, but that might not be how you come off to other people is all…" Toad trailed off.
"Shit! Wanda! That burns!" Pietro cried as Wanda's sparks were starting to crackle to life and sting him.
Lance pulled over suddenly and Rogue felt despair grip her. All she wanted was to see the man who inspired heat inside of her belly, something fierce. It was all she wanted and though she was so close, she felt so far.
"Okay, take a 15 minute breather guys. Stretch your legs." Lance said authoritatively but there was a clear smile in his voice. Rogue felt betrayed that Lance would dare be even a bit happy when she was so anxious.
Everyone filed out of the car except for Rogue and Lance.
"You too, emo girl." Lance joked but Rogue didn't laugh. Her glare intensified and Lance rolled his eyes and kept his left hand on the wheel, and rubbed his face with the other. He was clearly tired, and Rogue felt like a horrible friend for not noticing before now.
"Look," he continued. "I get it. You want to see Gambit, but right now the brotherhood needs you to make an effort. Get out of the car, take a breath, stretch your legs – I don't know. Do something to make yourself feel lighter, because the truth is that things are gonna get a lot worse before they get better and I need you – we all need you to be with us."
And Rogue understood what he was saying. She truly heard him, in the way parents wish their children heard them. The world didn't revolve around Gambit. She needed to pull herself together. They were all dropping everything to take her to see him – the least she could do was not make things so…hard.
"Ah know. Ah'm sorry, it's just…Ah'm crazy, right?" Rogue inhaled deeply and then exhaled all the tension she had.
"You're not crazy. Impatient, maybe, but not crazy." Lance said with a little shove to Rogue, then swiftly exited the jeep. He was trying to keep things light, because every mile that stretched between Lance and Kitty felt like another roadblock placed by destiny to torture him, and he was too stubborn to give in to the ache.
Rogue exited behind him, but she wasn't so sure that what she was feeling didn't count as crazy after all.
Gambit didn't sleep, or nap or eat. He waited, and waited, and waited. He waited so much that he almost felt as though time had no purpose. The longer the minutes became, and the more he focused less of Rogue's impending arrival, and more on those he killed. He saw a reflection of himself in his mind's eye, and he was a monster.
Sometime after the phone call, the old lady had gotten Gambit a room, and he barely remembered going up the stairs and entering it, but he had, and it was a testament to how long he'd been cooped up thrown half-hazardly on the bed that the old woman now walked into the room with some food.
"I thought you might be hungry, boy"
"The name's Gambit," Gambit said ruffled. He didn't consider himself a boy.
"Mine's Carol, but you can call me Christmas if it makes ya feel better, now up you go" Carol spoke gruffly. She was a tough cookie, Gambit knew from the hard lines on her face and the grandma way about her, but she spoke of magneto earlier. She spoke of magneto, and in times when people were hunting mutants, he couldn't trust someone who didn't fear.
Gambit sat up and ignored the food on a tray that she had placed on the bed next to him. "How do you know good old Mags, cherie?"
Carol knew he was being casual on purpose and she tried to match his verbal stride. "I knew him when I was younger. I took classes in New York and he was a menace then too!" she grumbled. There was sincerity in her voice, and Gambit relaxed a bit.
"You knew Magneto before he was ancient?" he joked.
"Ha! Don't worry yerself too much, boy. One day you'll turn around and wonder where the hell all the time went flyin' by, and you'll try to chase it but just'll end up being the old man at the party" she had a reminiscent smile on her face, and there was just something off about her. Gambit couldn't put his finger on it…until a moment of silence stretched too long and he just had to ask.
"You're a mutant?"
"God no!" she exclaimed with a horrified look upon her face. "Why on earth would you think I was?" Her hand was on her chest, and Gambit knew she truly was almost disgusted to know someone confused her for a mutant.
'Are we such monsters?' he asked himself, and his mind only answered him with visions of explosions and hearts no longer beating.
"Sonny?" Carol called to Gambit, trying to retrieve him from wherever he went mentally. "Why'd ya think I was a mutant?"
"Well, ya spoke about Magneto so freely, mademoiselle, the Gambit just assumed you were one of us." She only shook her head and laughed bitterly.
"'Us'. Back in my day there was no 'us' and 'them,' just people. Some were weird and those were the mutants, but nothin' else was thought of them. They were jus' weird." She started to fret with her hair that was trying to escape her bun.
Gambit didn't know how to respond without sounding overly suspicious, and so he said nothing, because he knew most people can't handle the silence. Carol was among them.
"Magneto was a heartbreaker back in the day. Oh, I remember it like it was yesterday, he had a way of words about him that could jus' about charm the panties off any girl around." She smiled self deprecatingly and Gambit already knew where the story led.
"You liked 'em." He stated.
She nodded, and continued on. His eyes spooked her a bit and it caused her to have word vomit she supposed. "I liked him something fierce that I would've done jus' about anything to be with him. Eh," she shrugged, "he loved me like he loved all his women: in bed. The moment we left the bedroom he was back to his propaganda spreading, and I was back to pinin' after him. He already had supporters back than too that were feeding into his paranoia—"
"He was right in the end, though, wasn't he?" Gambit mused out loud. All the time he spent wondering if he was on the right side, only for Magneto to prove himself smarter than everyone else, without even trying. Carol nodded and looked away.
"So ya opened your doors all these years later to the Gambit because you liked Magneto once? Ah've gotta say, cherie, that don't sound right." Gambit looked her right in the eyes, and refused to blink or look away. He wasn't buying what she was selling and he needed to know this was serious. He was serious.
Carol wasn't intimidated though, and one supposes she wouldn't be if she truly did spend so much time with the master himself. She squared her body off and planted her hands on her hips stiffly as though she were scolding a child.
"Now you listen here, sonny, don't you be accusin' me of nothing but bein' a woman of her word! I gave a promise to Magneto that if ever one of his boys came about I'd open my doors, and that's jus' what I done, so you best be grateful considerin' what's been going on out there!"
Now, that explanation Gambit did believe, and he relaxed some and started to take bites of the food.
"What part of out there are we talkin' about, l'amour?" Gambit grinned. His charm was his sign of peace.
Carol just scoffed, "Yea, don't you be tryin' to ingratiate yerself to me now! And what I'm talkin' about is all the anti-mutant supporters that are turning up. Outta nowhere! Two days ago, everything was normal. This attack in New York City happens, and suddenly all over the country people are putting 'NO MUTANTS ALLOWED' signs in their business. Mutant haters jus' sprang forth like demons from hell, it was so quick!"
The attack on Gambit suddenly made a whole lot of sense to him.
"I think we're s'posed to be the demons, Madame" Gambit laughed bitterly, but hid his resentment with a sparkling smile. Carol didn't see through it, but just then the bell from downstairs tingled and Gambit shot out of the bed like a bee shooting for their target. He raced down the stairs and there in all her mighty glory stood Rogue, fidgeting and worried and never more beautiful in his eyes.
But now that they were in front of each other, they didn't run into each other's arms and embrace like parted lovers, nor did they utter pleasantries like long lost friends.
"Ya look like shit, swamp rat" Rogue spoke breathily. She couldn't seem to muster her usual atttitude. They'd finally reached Gambit and she felt as though nothing could harm her, here, with the man who makes her stomach flutter.
"I've seen better days, mon petit." And it was a lie, because there was no better day than the one where his petit was within arm's reach.
"Me too," Rogue said. She couldn't seem to get her voice to a higher pitch. It was as though something was lodged in her throat—too much emotion. So, she did the only thing she could do, though it was inadequate. She raised her gloved hand and held it to his cheek and took a deep breath. He inhaled with her and…they were connected. It may not have been love, but it was damn well good enough for the both of them. For an instant, in this hectic world, they were content.
"Well," Lance interrupted, "now that we've gotten over this reunion, we need to get the fuck outta here!" It hadn't escaped Lance's notice that the closer they got to Gambit, the faster Toad's legs shook. He didn't want to stick around to see what doom and gloom Toad was predicting.
"Mon ami, why the rush? " Gambit looked at Lanced curiously, then at everyone else who looked at Toad when he asked. When his eyes finally fell on Toad bouncing leg, all he could say was "Mierde" and in the distance he could hear motorcycles coming their way.
It was too late. Whatever was coming for them was already here.
No one noticed that Carol, the old lady scorned by Magneto, was nowhere to be seen.
TBC
Soooo, what does everyone think? I've finally done an outline for this story *before, I was just winging it.* I've decided to update my in progress stories today, and so of course I had to start with my first one! :) Anywho, let me know what you think and Review! *hugs!*