A/N: Thank you for all of you who have reviewed. I appreciate the feedback as always.

This chapter is just really about Hannibal's and Audrey's relationship. This occurs that night after they had lunch in the restaurant. Remember that nightmare Audrey mentioned in the chapter before? This is where you learn what that is. The letter? You'll get it next chapter. I promise. Seriously, would I lie to you? Of course not. That would be rude. And we all know what happens to rude people…

Also, I highly advise you to grab a tissue. It might get a little angst-y. Honestly, I cried while writing this. But shhh don't tell anyone. I have an image to keep here, you know.

Disclaimer: Look at the Prologue for the full one. I also do not own 'Memories' by Within Temptation.

All of my memories
Keep you near
In silent moments
Imagine you'd be here
All of my memories
Keep you near
The silent whispers, silent tears

Chapter 2: Memories

Don't you die on me, Hannibal! DON'T YOU FUCKING EVEN THINK ABOUT—

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPP

NO!

My eyes flew open as I sat up ridged in my bed, still screaming. "Oh my god oh my god oh my god. No no no no NO! He can't be dead—" My head jerked around the room, eyes unseeing. Everything was blurry. WHY THE FUCK IS EVERYTHING BLUR—oh. It was just a dream. No, wait. Dreams are filled with happy things like unicorns and rainbows (Oh dear god, seriously? Now I'm starting to sound like a Barbie movie re-run.), not the death of your best friend by your own hands that you could've prevented. No, that was a nightmare. And that same damn nightmare was what haunted me every night. EVERY FUCKING NIGHT. (Okay, go ahead and laugh. But, you try it. Go ahead. I freaking dare you.)

As my superior senses returned to me, I could feel my soaked clothes clinging to my trembling form from the sweat pouring off of it. My breaths were loud and raspy as my lungs struggled desperately to get a descent breath of air. The ribs in my upper body felt as though they were going to shatter from my heart pounding like a hammer in my chest. The adrenaline that was rushing through my veins started to fade, leaving only a violent tremble in its place. Soon my straining gasps became full, body-shaking sobs. (What the hell? I never cried…damn hormones.) Hugging my knees to my chest, pressed my face into my legs as flashes of my nightmare came back to me. Vivid, picture-like images. Suddenly, I felt a warm, familiar presence beside me and two strong arms embracing my figure. They held me close, rocking me back and forth while the being who grasped my body whispered words of soothing comfort. Wrapping my arms around his torso, I turned my face and buried it into his chest, still sobbing uncontrollably. He gripped me tighter, placing his chin on top of my head and began to stroke my knotted curls with one hand, while the other held me near. Occasionally he would press his lips to my head while he continuing to mutter of calming reassurance.

"I'm here…I always will be here…I won't leave you, sweetheart…I promise…"

I didn't calm down for a long time (and NO, I did not keep crying to stay in Hannibal's arms longer…I mean, c'mon, I'm not that desperate…yet). When my sobbing finally stopped, I just kept holding him as he did to me. It was as though neither one of us wanted to let go. I closed my eyes and smiled as I felt my body begin to relax at the sound of his heartbeat's steady rhythm. It wasn't until I had stopped crying that it dawned on me that here I was, sitting on my bed in the arms of the man that I loved...that didn't love me back. (Damn, this is pathetic. I can't get any breaks, can I?) I also realized that somehow, I had been moved from my bed's mattress to Hannibal's lap. (Not that I was complaining or anything. I mean, would you?) My breathing stopped for a moment as I came to this conclusion. (Shit! He would notice that, dammit! Why was it all of a sudden that I couldn't hide my love hardly at all from him?) Apparently, Hannibal did notice my lack of breathing because he stopped his movements. (Well, damn IT.) Slowly and gently, he pushed me away. I couldn't look him in the eyes.

"Look at me."

His hand came up and touched my face. No, 'touched' isn't the right word. No…it was much more of a loving caress. (That loud smashing sound you just heard was my heart exploding through my rib cage.) Feathery light strokes brushed along the side of my face, causing my eyes to flutter shut from the pure bliss of it all. (Yeah, Clarice definitely had no freaking idea what she was missing out on.) He cupped my check, turning my head in his direction while gently forcing me to look into his maroon eyes as he angled my face upward. I was helpless to my swelling emotions that fought to stay hidden as he scanned my face, searching for some kind of explanation. (Shit shit shit shit shit!) Only when his lips turned slightly upward at the corners in a sympathetic smile did I realize that every action of mine in attempting to hide the truth had been futile. (Had I honestly thought I could keep this from him? I could've sworn I was slightly smarter than that last time I checked.)

"Oh, Audrey…" he whispered, his voice uncharacteristically overflowing with guilt. Hannibal brushed his mouth against my cheek then nuzzled his cheek against mine affectionately. "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry."

I managed to find my voice somehow in that second. (It is rather difficult to talk or think rationally when the man you love is breathing in your ear.) "You have nothing to apologize for, Hannibal."

"I will have to disagree with you on that one, my dear," he replied, his warm breath on my neck causing me to repress a shiver that crept deliciously down my spine. "It appears I have caused you much pain."

A sad smile tugged at my lips. "My pain is worth it if it meant saving your life."

He pulled back to look into my eyes in an almost desperate look. "But Audrey—"

I stopped him from saying anything further by placing a single finger on his lips, the gesture surprising him. "Hannibal, there is not a thing in the world I would trade for to have the outcome of that night be anything than what it was. Even if I have to lose a few nights sleep because of what happened, I would never wish for anything to be any different. You are alive. That is all that matters to me." My voice began to break towards the end of my speech. Gently, as to show its significance, I removed his hand from my face with one of my own and turned my head into it. With a tender care, I grazed my own lips over the thin white scar that encircled his wrist where I had surgically put his hand back on the night he came over after the lake house incident. I gazed at him as I did this; watched as his nostrils flare and his burgundy irises darken. These were dangerous waters I was testing. As in, I-was-in-the-ocean-while-there-was-a-Category-5-hurricane-going-on-around-me-and-sharks-were-swimming-at-my-feet kind of waters.

Untangling myself from his grasp before I could do anything that I might regret later, I strolled over to the glass doors that led out to the balcony. (What the fucking hell? Were Clarice's moral ethics are rubbing off on me? That would not do.) I pushed open the doors, the late night breeze blowing back my long locks as well as my silky, black nightgown. Placing my hands on the red-cheery wooden balcony rail, I looked up into the sky at the constellation of Orion, my shoulders drooping as I sighed in defeat. No matter what, I couldn't do anything with Hannibal. I couldn't kiss him or touch him intimately or make love to him…nothing. It felt…wrong. Because Clarice had marked her territory all those many years ago. I could almost feel her presence when he was around me. It was visible on the outer surface. No…no it was much deeper than that. Clarice had made a mark across Hannibal's very soul. Not even I could touch that.

Crossing my arms, I bowed my head so that my chin was pressing against my chest as I tried my hardest not to cry. Damn her. Damn my sister for getting everything I always wanted. Getting my Hannibal. Getting my job. Getting our Daddy's attention. Dear dad wouldn't pay any mind to the 'bad seed' of the family. My sexual assault when I was 6 left me as—I guess you could say—'damaged goods'. He loved Clarice more than me, that much was clear. Loved her purity…loved her innocence…loved the 'good twin'. Now, I was trying to redeem myself by wiping out anyone who dared try to defy me again. Why, if I tried my best to do the right thing—to set things right—was I punished like this? Why must I have to hurt after all the shit I've been through?

The air behind me stirred. I knew he was there. I could smell him…feel him…hear him. He wrapped his arms around my waist, and rested his chin on my shoulder. Bringing my chin up, I nudged his face softly letting him know that it was alright. His arms tightened around hips and he dropped a light kiss on my shoulder before placing his face right next to mine again. He didn't need to say anything. It was not necessary. This was one of those moments where silence was all that was needed.

We stood like that for the longest time, not saying a word. The glorious sun came up, and we watched it rise, silently mourning our loved one's inability to love us back.

A/N: Yes, I know that this is shorter than my previous chapters. I am sorry for that but I didn't want to dwell on the sadness of it. I also realize that this is a more angst than my other two chapters. I felt like it was time for some of it. As for the nightmare…well, for those of you who didn't catch it was Audrey dreaming that she let Hannibal die on the surgery table rather than saving his life.

This next chapter will include the mysterious letter, I promise.

I do feel rather bad for Audrey as well as Hannibal. It makes me sad to do this to them, but it is necessary for the story. I know Hannibal may seem like he's a bit out of character, but remember, Audrey invokes a different reaction from him since they have known each other for so long. And yes, Hannibal does love Audrey but not exactly in the way she wants. He knows it and shows it by his deeply caring actions you see towards the end.

I think that is all I have for now.

Ta ta,

Dreamiest Nightmare