"Look, I braided my hair."
"Mhm."
"Why is your army so ugly? You couldn't at least slap your face onto those gaping pie holes?"
Loki disregarded her millionth stupid comment with tensed facial features.
Calico groaned, crossing her arms over her small chest and hanging her head.
Loki rubbed his temples and squeezed his eyes shut, attempting to ignore the young woman. She only moaned louder, pushing him slightly this time. He clenched and relaxed his jaw, still choosing not to look at her.
It was when Calico took a deep breath and leaned toward him that she heard a snip and a soft thud from behind her. She stopped in mid sigh and turned around, spotting her ponytail on the ground. No longer connected to her head.
She reached behind her head, feeling her eyes water when it was confirmed her hair was now the same length as Steve's. She scooped up the remains of her long, ginger curls.
"Oh... H-how could you?"
"Will you shut up now?"
"You monster! That is it! I'm requesting a-a divorce!"
"We aren't married you twat."
"Metaphorically! You deserve a spanking! Literally!"
"And your friends think I'm crazy."
"Me? Crazy? This is the last straw! I am out!" Calico screamed, walking toward the bar and grabbing a bottle of rum. Loki scoffed.
"Oh, I don't need you anymore. You're annoying me. Go! -" all actions were cut of when Bruce - or rather, The Hulk - leaped in through the remains of the windows, screaming at Loki. Calico clapped her hands.
Loki glared at the green man.
"Enough!" he yelled, silencing Bruce. Calico jumped at the tone in his voice. She was almost positive the venom he used with Bruce came from her harassing him earlier.
"I am a God; do you not understand you dull beast? You are beneath me!" Loki yelled. Bruce and Calico exchanged looks.
"Please." she said, nodding in his direction.
Bruce grabbed The God by the ankles and flung him around, smashing the concrete ground with the slender body. He must have been hitting the ground terribly hard, because he wasn't that heavy.
When he finished, Loki was left making a small, wheezing noise. Calico covered her face, struggling not to laugh.
"Puny God..." Bruce said in a gruff voice, walking calmly back out of the window. Calico walked over to Loki, her ponytail still in her hand, and threw it on his flushed and delirious face.
"My ponytail has been avenged. By an Avenger. How cool is that?" she asked, knowing he wasn't able to respond. She smirked and bent over, poking him. She could already see him bruising in some places.
"Dear God... Are you even alive?" Loki lifted his head slightly. Calico swore she saw stars in his eyes.
"Barely." he managed, dropping his head and grimacing in pain.
Calico was left staring dully at the unconscious god. Natasha's head appeared from the top of the large window. She started to wiggle her hand to and fro, catching the small woman's attention.
"Come on, little kitty! Psst psst psst! I won't hurt you, don't worry! Do you want some tuna?" Natasha cooed.
"Oh, shut up, Natasha." Calico said with a pout, holding out her hand for Natasha to grab. Natasha giggled.
"I needed that. Seriously, I know how to deactivate the portal, but I wanted to make sure that you were safe. I don't feel good with you alone... with that."
"Okay, but how is everyone? Are they okay? I saw Tony get eaten and shat out by a giant bug looking creature. Was that supposed to happen?" Calico said, closing her eyes as Natasha lifted her up.
Calico was tossed onto solid ground seconds later, staring up at the tesseract and a man holding Loki's scepter, half conscious.
"Again, I know how to close the portal, but I'm waiting for Steve's O.K. And Tony is perfectly fine." Natasha said, suddenly looking at Calico with a confused expression.
"What?"
"Your hair. It's cute. When did you cut it?" Natasha asked, tugging at her uneven hair. Calico frowned.
"Loki cut it. That's why the bang is long but the back is..."
"It sort of looks like Steve's."
"..."
"Well. I guess we'll just sit it out up here and wait for Steve or Tony." Natasha said, clearing her throat. Calico blinked. That was twice she had been insulted in less than twenty minutes.
Natasha's breast pocket began to buzz.
"Hey uh, Natasha? There's a bit of a situation. A nuke. Fury's bosses fired it and it's coming right for us." Steve's voice said, a few octaves higher than it normally was. Calico and Natasha exchanged looks.
Natasha held her index finger up to her lips to keep Calico quiet.
"What are we supposed to do...?"
"Don't worry, I got it!" Tony's lax voice answered, despite the situation not calling for it. Calico's face paled.
"What the hell do you mean, I got it?" She screamed into Natasha's chest.
"Calico!"
"I'll guide the missile into the portal and then you can shut it. Easy!"
"You can't! You'll be trapped..." Calico pouted. Tony sighed.
"If I don't do it, humanity will be enslaved. It's a tiny price to pay. Don't worry, I've got this!" Tony repeated over the whirring of the missile. He disconnected.
Calico squeaked and looked up at the portal, easily spotting the bright red suit of armor with a giant missile on it's back. Natasha grabbed Calico and tucked her under her arm, putting her in a headlock.
"Let me go! Let me do something stupid!"
"Calico!" Natasha scolded, tightening her grip on the tiny woman. Calico shook her head and slid through Natasha's arm.
"Natasha, you can close the portal now." Steve said. Natasha sighed angrily and shoved the tip of the scepter into the tesseract.
Calico looked up at the rip in the sky, her face vacant of all expression when she saw it shrinking.
"Natasha, did um... Did Tony...?"
"I'm sorry, Calico."
Calico's eyes widened a considerable amount when she saw Tony's limp figure falling through the sky, just as the portal closed completely. Calico screeched incoherently and flailed her arms, pointing to him falling.
Natasha gasped, dropped Loki's scepter, and pointed to the sky, unable to form any words.
"The suit ran out of power!" they finally blurted in unison. Calico began clinging to Natasha's back and they began to climb down the building.
"I'm glad that he made this building so damn easy to climb on, don't you agree?"
"Yes, we're already a tenth of the way down. Hurry up, pack mule!" Calico kicked Natasha with her heels.
"Bruce caught Tony, he's not splattered all over the place. He's climbing down too, see?" Natasha wheezed, jolting each time Calico's foot would come in contact with her ribs.
"But he's moving faster than us!"
"Damn it Calico, when you talk I lose concentration. We are almost down. Cut it out!" Calico pouted, looking down to see that they were only seven feet or so from the ground, and a twice as much as that away from the other Avengers.
"I'm jumping."
"At this point, I don't care. I'm just tired."
Calico released her grip on Natasha and immediately regretted it.
The concrete wasn't soft against her face like she had been expecting, for some reason. She spat out a bit of blood, but was able to walk calmly over to the group, Natasha hot on her heels.
Tony's face was exposed and pale, his eyes shut. He looked like he could be asleep, but everyone knew better.
Steve looked at Calico with sad blue eyes. There was complete silence and miserable glances shared between them all. Calico swallowed thickly, dropping to her knees and placing her hands on the cold metal chest of his suit.
"I'm sorry, Calico." Clint said, lowering his eyes.
Bruce bent down and screamed, jerking Tony awake. Calico inhaled sharply, from both Tony's revival and Bruce's shout. Thor smiled widely at Calico.
Tony looked around, his mouth hanging open slightly.
"Ah, what the hell just happened? Please tell me nobody kissed me." he said as if nothing had just happened. Calico smiled at each of her friends individually.
"We won, Tony." Steve answered, smiling.
"Alright. Yaay! Good job, guys. Uh, let's just not go in tomorrow. Let's... let's just take a day." Tony said, sitting up with Thor and Calico's help. They shared a laugh.
"You have some real problems." Clint said, shaking his head and chuckling. Tony leaned over, kissing Calico on the cheek.
"Hey guys, ever had shawarma? There's a shawarma joint a few blocks up from here. I don't know what it is, but I wanna try it."
"We aren't done. We need to get Loki." Natasha said, shaking her head. Tony looked at Calico curiously for a second. Steve and Clint pointed to her as well, brows furrowed.
"What happened to your hair?" they all asked. Calico blushed.
"Loki cut it." she mumbled, blushing.
"I like it. It suits you."
"Speaking of Loki..." Thor said, pointing upward.
"Oh yeah. I guess we should get it over with. Can I just... Take this suit off? My body hurts right now. A lot. Seriously, I feel like my body might crumble if I stay in here any longer."
Don't worry, the story is no where near the end. Too many ideas! :D
I took my sister to see the avengers a while back, and she was like "Joi-Su, what is wrong with you? You act just like Tony! And you aren't even a billionaire!"
I take offense to that. I'm not that big of a douche-bag. XD