'Are you OK?" Kendall asked when I calmed down. "What was that about?"

"A bad dream," I said wiping tears off my face. "A horrible, horrible dream."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"You were there," I said, "and James and Logan, too. James said you didn't love me. Logan said no one loved me. Then you were laughing at me. And you said that you never loved me and that our relationship would never work. And-and-" I started crying.

"Hey, hey," he said while lifting my chin," look at me. Don't you ever doubt the fact that I love you. I never stopped loving you. I love you more than you can imagine. Don't plan on that changing. Do not let anybody tell you differently. Ever."

Kendall's eyes were tearing up. I leaned forward and embraced him in a tight hug.

"I love you so much," I whispered.

"I love you, too," he whispered back. "What would make you dream that?"

"My abandonment problems," I said. "And I'm clinically depressed. And my anxiety. I could probably go all day with all of my medical problems."

Kendall didn't say anything, but I could tell he was thinking about last year. He bit his lip and looked down.

"Kendall," I said softly, "look at me. I'm OK. I'll be fine. Don't worry about me."

"How can I not worry?" he asked quietly. "There's so much to worry about."

"No, there's not," I said sternly. "I have medicine, but I haven't taken them. That's probably why I had the dream."

"Why haven't you taken them?"

"I was with you," I said. "I didn't think I would need them."

A knock on my door made us jump.

"LeeAnn," my mom said loudly, "dinner is ready."

"Should I leave?" Kendall asked.

"No no no," I said. "Stay. Unless you want to leave."

He leaned forward and kissed me. "Why would I want to leave you?"

"Then let's go." I grabbed his hand and pulled him downstairs.

"Hello, Kendall," my mom said smiling.

"Hi, Mrs. Gunter," Kendall said, smiling as well.

"Kendall," she said, "you've known me long enough. You can call me Carolyn."

Kendall laughed. "OK."

Dean didn't say anything. He only glared at Kendall.

"So, how was tour, Kendall?" my mom asked.

"It was a lot of fun," Kendall said. "I got to go to a lot of places I've never been before."

"I'm glad you had fun," Dean said sarcastically.

My mom gave him a hard look. "Dean."

"What?" Dean asked loudly. "Am I supposed to be happy for him? While he was out having fun, my sister was here dying because of him. Yeah, I'm so damn happy for him!"

"Dean, shut up!" I yelled standing up. "Just shut up! People make mistakes. It happens. So just drop it. Now!"

Everyone was staring at me. No one spoke. Kendall was looking down, but I could tell there were tears in his eyes.

"Maybe I should go," he said quietly.

"Please," Dean mumbled. I shot him a look.

Kendall headed for the front door. I got up and grabbed his hand.

"No, maybe we should go," I said. "Mom, if you need me, I'll be at Kendall's."

"You can't seriously be letting her go," Dean said.

"Dean, drop it," my mom said. She looked at me. "Call me when you're on your way home."

By the time we reached Kendall's house, tears were on his cheeks.

"Kendall," I said softly, wiping the tears away, "don't cry. Ignore Dean. He doesn't matter. Nothing even matters."

"LeeAnn," he said, "I can't ignore it. There's no way to ignore it. Dean will bring it up all the time. When I look into your eyes, I can see the pain. I can see how much you hurt. I can see the cuts on your arms. And all of this is my fault. It's all my fault!"

"Kendall!" I said loudly. "You have to stop this! I'm not hurting anymore. I'm not cutting anymore. Because of you. You came back, Kendall. You saved me."

"You treat me like I'm an angel."

I rolled my eyes. "You are to me! You're this amazing, gorgeous, caring, loving person and for some reason, you picked me to love over everybody else. It was a miracle."

"I should be saying that about you. I'm lucky you love me."

I grabbed his hand. "I do. I really do, but I can't be around you if you keep talking like this! I don't think about last year. I don't like to. The main reason you see the pain is because you keep bringing up last year!"

"I always cause you pain," he whispered.

"Ugh!" I screamed.

I got out of the car and walked inside. I slammed the door.

"Someone's pissed," James said. "What happened?"

"Kendall has got to get over last year!" I yelled. "I'm so tired of him bringing it up. It makes me want to scream!"

"Like you are now?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said, my voice returning to normal," sorry. I'm just mad. I can't stand it when he does that."

"I don't blame you. It would piss me off, too."

Kendall walked through the door. James and I were quiet. He sat on the couch beside me and James went upstairs.

"I'm sorry," Kendall said quietly.

"You said you wouldn't do it," I said. "You promised you wouldn't talk about it. I can't handle this."

"I'm sorry," he repeated, "I really am. It's just… the scars on your arms are a constant reminder that I almost killed you."

"Kendall," I said, "this relationship is the best thing that's ever happened to me. I honestly don't know what I'd do without you. But I can't do this, Kendall. I can't be with you if all you're going to do is dwell on the past."

"Are… are you breaking up with me?" he asked softly.

My heart ached. Kendall's expression was heart breaking. "I don't know, Kendall. I don't want to. I really don't. It's just that I can't handle being reminded of the past."

"I promise, I won't ta-"

"You've already made that promise, Kendall!" I cut him off. "How am I supposed to know if you'll actually keep it this time?"

"I will, LeeAnn."

"You said that last time."

"I'll work on it!" He sounded desperate. "Please. Just don't leave."

"That's exactly what you'll have to do. Work on it." I walked upstairs and knocked on the first door on the left.

"LeeAnn?" Logan asked, noticing the tears building up in my eyes. "What's wrong?"

I opened my mouth to speak, but only a sob came out. The tears spilled over and Logan hugged me. He pulled me to his bed and I sat in his lap while I cried.

**Author's note:

Here's chapter 8! I don't know why it took me so long to update… I've had this written! I'll probably have chapter 9 up by the end of the week!

Reviews would be nice :)

-Xoxo L