A/N Angst warning for this chapter. (but don't give up on our beloved pair just yet...)

Chapter 17

Rose paced anxiously within the Ruling Chamber that had now become a prison as she awaited the impending arrival of the Doctor, the simple effort to breathe becoming more difficult with each passing second. A host of tumultuous thoughts were spiraling through her mind at a dizzying speed. In desperation, she kept trying to reason away all that she had been told and find a way out of all this.

Even if what Eilam said about the Doctor being dosed with a poison was true, would it have a lethal effect on him? As proven by his quick recovery from severe injury after the crash, he was capable of overcoming physical harm more readily than most. Surely his system might be able to neutralize and overcome whatever toxin might be starting to circulate. Yet even if it were capable of harming him, it wouldn't take effect until after an incubation period of two days. It was possible that the Doctor could come up with something to counteract it in time. Surely. Yet he couldn't do that if he were locked away, which was what would be done to him if she didn't cooperate right now. And Eilam would know if she tried to tell the Doctor of all this because he would be listening and no doubt watching through the door, bent as he was on the plan being carried out as he directed. And if guards remained with her until the wedding, there would be no other chance between now and then to just flee or to warn the Doctor so he could formulate his own cure.

Rose walked to the window. The chamber was on the ground floor, and she had to fight the clawing urge to just smash the imprisoning glass and try to run, again realizing that she could not make an attempt to flee because the Doctor would be seized. She stared out as the last light of day had faded to total darkness, a darkness that was twining its way into her soul.

Another thought had also come to her racing mind. If it came right down to the most unthinkable, the poison would most likely not kill the Doctor with finality. He would regenerate. When disputing what Eilam had done, she had not revealed this fact of the Doctor's physiology, of course, because she was not going to give the Elder that additional knowledge as something more to plot against.

Yet regeneration was still a death. It would bring the Doctor one life closer to a death of permanence. He had already laid down one life for her. She would not have him lose another for her sake. But then, she kept coming back to the thought that there was a very good chance that whatever substance was in the Doctor's system would not harm him in the least. And yet there was also that chance that it would. She could not risk the Doctor for even a shadow of a chance.

One thing Rose had learned about herself in her time with the Doctor was that she was a fighter. She wasn't one to just roll over and let things happen without taking a stand. And what she often found herself fighting for against all odds was the Doctor, just as he did the same for her. She would stop at nothing, even rip open the heart of the TARDIS and return to the midst of battle and almost certain death if it meant at least trying to save him. She was willing to sacrifice her own life if it meant protecting his. She remembered once telling her mum just before returning to face a deadly Dalek fleet that if it could save the Doctor's life, she would try anything. And that strength was what Eilam had found to now use against her as a weakness. But this was not about a power struggle between her and Eilam to see who would come out the most dominant. If complying, at least for right now in the short term, meant giving in to what Eilam wanted, then, as she always chose, Rose would do whatever it took if it meant protecting the Doctor.

Rose closed her eyes. She knew without a doubt what she had to do. She saw no other choice. If saving the Doctor meant she had to go through with this wedding then so be it. She would make that sacrifice if it meant protecting him. Whatever happened after this forced marriage was something she would deal with as it came. For now, her only thought was to ensure the Doctor's immediate safety.

Rose attempted to draw a deep, steadying breath as she heard the sound of footsteps approaching from outside the double doors. He was coming. She was going to have to give the performance of a lifetime if she was now going to convince the Doctor that this was actually her choice. But that's what she had to do.

Rose steeled herself as the doors opened fully and the Doctor stepped in.

Rose turned from the window as the Doctor walked through the doors and into the chamber. The two escorts who had accompanied him bowed silently and left, yet the doors remained partially open, and behind the Doctor she could see the shadow of Eilam move silently up to the other side of the doors, listening, watching and waiting.

The Doctor stepped towards her, hands in his pockets and eyes on Rose. His outward stance was casual, but an uneasy feeling was brewing in his gut, and it didn't escape his notice that Rose would only briefly look him in the eyes. He had expected her to have already returned to their own chamber by now. How long should it have taken to say 'no?' And why would she 'officially' summon him like this? She hadn't even spoken, yet something was already telling him there was a reason to be ill-at-ease. "Rose? I received 'Royal Word' that you wanted to speak to me. So...how did it go in talking with the King? Is everything alright now?"

Rose forced a smile to her face – one she hoped she could somehow keep in place. "Yeah. Yeah, everything's fine."

Lie number one.

He shrugged, a questioning expression on his face. "Then what is it?"

She fought to keep her eyes from skittering over to the doors. How could she even say this and make it sound halfway believable? "It's just...well, I have something to tell you. And...I know this is not something you were expecting to hear. Probably the last thing you expected. I hadn't really expected to change my mind about this at first either until I gave it more thought, but..." She paused. There was no easy or convincing way to say it, so she just blurted out the words on a rush. "I've decided to marry Zerin. I've accepted his proposal."

Unlike his reaction the day before, this time the Doctor was not laughing. Actually, as her eyes anxiously searched his for a response, he didn't seem to react at all. He stood still, his face impassive.

"You have?" he asked slowly, tangible doubt lacing his tone. He wasn't buying this, she knew. "You came here to tell the King in no uncertain terms that your answer was no, and now suddenly you're telling me you've changed your mind and accepted?" His eyes were piercing as he gazed at her probingly. "Rose, I would say you were kidding here, that this was some daft joke, but the look on your face clearly says you're not. Tell me what's going on."

Rose ducked her eyes from the scrutiny in his, speaking her words to the floor. "I told you. What's going on is that I've decided to...marry the King."

He slowly shook his head, his words equally slow and measured. "No, you had said that you were not going to marry the King, and you came here to tell him so. You expect me to believe that you've now suddenly changed your mind about something like this?"

Rose lifted her head and looked him squarely in the eyes. "I was...persuaded."

"I'm beginning to see that." The Doctor swept his eyes around the empty room, then took a quick step towards her, closing the distance and grasping her by the shoulders as his eyes flashed. "Rose, have they threatened you? Because if they have..."

"No," she quickly insisted. "They haven't threatened me." They've threatened you, her mind was screaming. It was that blaring thought which spurred her on to make a greater effort to be more convincing before Eilam made good on his warning to seize the Doctor if he tried to interfere with this. Rose spoke her next words with as much conviction as she could muster. "I've thought about it, and I've come to realize that this was meant to be."

"Meant to be?" he scoffed, still gripping her shoulders. "Don't tell me you're actually buying into that whole 'Ancient Legend' thing that these people have such blind hope in. You think it's actually up to you to help bring lasting peace here?"

Rose began to actually think this side of it through for the first time with a little more depth. Before, she had seen her arrival here as a coincidence, but if she was really going to have to go through with this, then maybe the pain she was feeling here and now would be more tolerable if it could actually serve some purpose.

"Maybe it is what I was meant for," she murmured, though still not at all believing it herself. "And regardless of what I believe about their legend, if the people believe it and accept this union as a sign of lasting peace and a reason to let go of their hostility then isn't that what matters for them? The outcome?"

The Doctor slowly shook his head side to side, as if trying to shake the very words from his ears. He honestly could not fathom what he was hearing. "You're really saying that you're choosing to marry him? That you would just...just sacrifice your life for this?"

Better mine than yours. "Yes."

He was now barely breathing, his voice low. "When?"

"Tomorrow."

The Doctor released her shoulders and began pacing the room, thrusting a hand roughly through his hair. "You would do this? You would actually do this? Marry this man you hardly know and just stay here...permanently." He turned swiftly back towards her, pinning her with his gaze. "And what about us?"

He stood rigid, swallowing hard as the words were spoken.

Rose's eyes were wide and fixed on his. The Doctor's unguarded question was ringing in her ears. "Us?"

An emotion that had briefly flitted across his features was masked as quickly as it came. "I mean the traveling. Together. I thought you...you liked the traveling."

Rose took a step towards him. "Doctor, I love..." She closed her eyes and drew a slow breath. "I love the traveling. But I have to...to give other things consideration now, too. There are other things I have to think about."

His voice and his stare hardened. "Oh really? And have you? Have you even given any thought whatsoever to things like...like your mother who you would just be leaving behind?"

"I have thought of that," Rose said, still fighting to play this role convincingly. Her eyes lowered and she spoke quietly. "And I s'pose you could...bring her here once the TARDIS was able." Rose laughed weakly. "Can you imagine? Mum, livin' in a castle. She'd probably love it."

"Oh, so that's it, is it?" he said slowly, after a pause. The Doctor laughed sardonically, the bitter sound covering something deeper, more painful. "This is all just a fairytale to you, isn't it? A little girl's fantasy come to life. Marry a King, live in a castle..."

Rose's eyes snapped up to his. After everything she was going through for him. How dare he! "A fairytale. A childish fantasy. Is that really what you think?" Her voice was a dark whisper. "Doctor, you have no idea what it took for me to come to this decision."

"Oh, I think I do," he replied, the sarcasm in his tone burying anything deeper. "It took about...what? Ten minutes down here for you to decide this? Or was it closer to twelve, hmm? So much thought put into this. Well done, Rose. I'm very impressed."

Rose stared back at him in silence for several lengthy moments. Beneath his abrasive words she could sense a deeper emotion he had never allowed to surface, one she had often wondered if he would ever let free – or at times if it even existed at all. If that emotion was there, she needed to know – now more than ever.

"You're not happy about this, and I...I understand. But if I were anyone else, would this decision even matter to you at all?" she questioned, both a challenge and a plea. She didn't care if Eilam could hear this. So far she had not revealed anything she had been warned not to.

The Doctor's eyes fell from hers and his voice lowered. "Everyone's life matters to me, Rose."

Rose had thought she could force herself to go through with this temporarily if she had to. But she was suddenly more desperate than ever for even more of a reason to fight this here and now. Or if there wasn't an immediate way out, then a reason to find any possible way out after this forced ceremony took place and the Doctor was safe, regardless of the planetary consequences Eilam warned of. She had promised to stay with him forever, no matter what or who tried to come between them.

"But does this mean more to you because it's me?" she further questioned. Rose wasn't suggesting she was the most important person in the universe. She just needed to know if she was one of the most important to him, as he was to her. She moved a step closer, pressing further. "Do I mean more to you." He glanced away to the side but she moved to catch his reticent eyes. "Doctor, please. For once just tell me how you feel. How you really feel."

He looked at her, his voice sounding so much like resigned, broken sadness. "This isn't about me, Rose."

Rose shook her head and took a step back. "You just can't say it, can you?"

Her question shot straight to his hearts because he knew he couldn't. Even if faced with his last chance to say it, he didn't know if he ever could. And now, if Rose was truly giving herself to another man, those protective walls were locking in place tighter than ever. He swallowed hard. "What do you want me to say?"

Rose gave a short laugh through the threatening tears, a bitter sound echoing off the walls of the chamber. "Exactly. What I want you to say. Apparently they would never be your words."

Somewhere along the way, this had become much more than standing here and trying to play the role she had been forced to play. This had somehow become a conversation of truth, raw and painful. In that moment, a feeling of hopeless resignation began to seep into her being and settle achingly in her heart. Maybe Zerin had been right. The two of them had more in common than she once realized. Neither could ever have the ones their hearts belonged to. And maybe it was always meant to be that way. Maybe all this was, in some cruel twisted way, for the best, to put an end to hopeless, painful longing for things that never could or would be.

She had thought the two of them could somehow fight this afterwards, even if it did bring the possibility of another war for these people. The blood would not be on her hands because this was not her doing in the first place. But now? Now was there even a reason to try to fight this and allow a war for the sake of her own feelings for the Doctor – feelings that he would never return? Acceptance of what their relationship was never going to be tore through her heart like a ravaging wind, and in its destructive wake any trace of foolish hope was gone. She squeezed her eyes shut but there were no tears. She was numb. Empty.

The Doctor stood quiet for a moment before speaking again, his voice now toneless. He had already shielded himself from her answer. "Do you love him?"

Rose couldn't believe he was asking this of her when he wouldn't crack even an inch in his armor for her. She met his eyes before looking away and answering quietly. "That's not a question you have the right to ask."

The Doctor's jaw clenched. She wanted words from him that he could not give, but he doubted if Zerin had given them, either. This wasn't about love. To them, Rose was just a pawn in Zobulan's game, a piece they were trying to make fit into their own puzzle, and had somehow, inconceivably, convinced her this was where she now belonged. He shook his head. "Fine. I don't have the right to ask. But will he love you?"

Rose fixed him with her piercing gaze, her words even sharper. "Would it even matter if he doesn't? Because would I have the love of anyone else?"

Silence stretched on, and Rose thought that maybe, maybe he would actually answer that question. But then the Doctor turned from her and began walking toward the doors.

From the other side, Eilam had moved back, his unpleasant job nearly complete.

The Doctor spoke as he continued to walk away, his voice low. It was now painfully clear why he'd had a bad feeling when stepping into this room. The day he had feared would one day come was here. Rose was leaving him.

"Well, you've obviously already made up your mind, so I don't know why we're even bothering to have this conversation."

Rose took several hasty steps after him, suddenly desperate in this moment of his retreat not to lose him completely as she felt she was on the verge of doing. For the first time since the crash, she was actually glad the TARDIS wasn't quite ready for full travel yet. Otherwise she would fear just how far he would go because she could sense that desperation to run radiating from him. She at least needed to know he would stay close enough to receive the antidote. "You wouldn't just try to leave now, would you? Promise me you're not."

He didn't turn around as he replied. "I couldn't yet anyway. But I won't without...saying goodbye."

Her heart nearly shattered for them both. "Doctor, no matter what happens, this doesn't have to be the...the end for us. Never. Even if I... You would still come back here, yeah? And we could still see each other." A part of Rose couldn't even believe she was saying this, that it actually seemed like it was going to come down to this. "Even afterwards, you could...still come back," she finished softly.

The Doctor slowly turned around to face her, and she didn't need his words to know the answer. His eyes already said it all. "That's not who I am, Rose. That's not what I do."

Rose felt any last bit of hope she might have been clinging to for the two of them slip away. "Of course not. You never look back, do you? You always run and never stop." Her voice rose higher even as it shook. "You run away, just like you're running now! Because you won't–"

The last of her words met with the silence of an empty room as the Doctor stormed from the chamber. Without looking back.