Disclaimer: I do not own anything from Square-Enix!
Pairing: SnowxHope
Warning: Mature Content! Contains Yaoi!
Thanks for the reviews. I was a bit skeptical that my readers would not love the different aspects and changes I made to story in relation to the game. I greatly appreciate those who are still reading this story. SnowxHope forever!
Thanks the-true-freya for reediting this chapter.
Chapter 14: A Hopeless Lover
"Serah...?" Lightning said softy and bewildered at the sight of her little sister embracing Snow. She blinked several times to make sure her eyes were not playing tricks on her. Lightning's gaze shifted to Sazh who had the most happiest expression on his face and his hands tightly wrapped around his son. For a slight second, the woman thought that she was dreaming. She then saw her sister glance from her embrace with the blond, acknowledging her presence. There was pure happiness reflecting in those cobalt eyes when her eyes met those of her younger sister. The young girl let go of the man and walked up to her before wrapping those slender arms around her. "Serah? How is this possible?" Lightning whispered into the hold.
"I don't really know much. I just woke up in this room with Dajh." Serah murmured against Lightning's chest. She flashed the older woman a stunning smile. "It doesn't matter. We're finally back together. You, Snow and..." Serah said turning to her future husband only to stop when she saw Snow standing still, his back faced towards her. Serah cocked her head, a frown appearing on her face. Snow hadn't moved an inch. He was standing there like a statue, with his shoulders hunched and his fingers shaking, clenched into a fist.
"Snow?" Serah's brow quirked. She walked to the man and gently grasped his hand. She gently tugged him to face her. The girl blinked when she saw mixed emotions flashing across the blond's feature. "You haven't said a word to me yet?"
"I...I?" Snow said, looking away. He didn't have any words to say to the girl. His mind was somewhere else. He was thinking about Hope. Snow gritted his teeth in frustrated before his eyes widened in realization. Serah was here, and Hope was not. He was thinking about Hope, and not Serah. In Bodhum, her smile alone was enough to make him go crazy, but as he gazed into those deeper shaded of blues he didn't feel any of those feelings in his chest. He examined his hands, which were wrapped around his fiancée moments ago and another realization hit him harder than a swift punch from Lightning against his jaws. Serah's body pressed against his body felt too foreign. He was accustomed to a fourteen-year-old boy on his lap and a gentler hands wrapped around his neck. Snow wanted that feeling back. He missed those delicate sweet pink lips that had never known any kisses but from him. And that pale and soft body that had never been held in any other's arms but his own. Just looking into a pair of warm and brilliant green orbs was enough for him to crazy. Snow really didn't know that he had falling head over-heel for Hope.
"Snow, you look like you seen a ghost?" Serah said stepping in front of the man. She placed her hands on Snow's face, examining the man's facial features. "You looked different!"
Snow blinked and he let out a chuckle. 'Probably because of him.' Snow reflected with a smile on his face. "Serah... I need to tell you-"
"Snow?" Lightning stepped towards the two with a serious expression on her face.
"Yeah, I cannot hide these feelings from her anymore." Snow said as his features softened.
"What are you talking about?" Serah asked blinking, not understanding the situation.
"Serah, I met someone." Snow confessed, rubbing back of his neck. He felt like a teenage having one of those first time talks with his parents about his first crush.
"What?" Serah gasped in fear as the shock settled in. She took a sudden step away from the man, shaking her head from doubts.
"I'm in love with someone else." Snow clarified with a blush on his face.
"But... but... I'm your fiancée." Serah stammered.
"I know that, but... lots of stuff had happened when you were asleep." Snow tried to justify.
"But... But...How could you?" Serah's body began to shake.
"I'm sorry... but these are my true feelings." Snow exclaimed softly.
"So this is it?" Serah asked, but the blond only looked away, escaping her gaze. "Claire was right, you are a jerk." Serah's voiced cracked. She ran to her sister, coiling her hands around her sister's body feeling alone and small.
"Its okay, Serah." Lightning tried to comfort her sister. She heard light sobs coming from her chest as warm liquid started to delude her brown turtleneck. She knew pain and a broken heart would befall her sister hearing Snow's confession, but the woman could not do anything to stop Snow from confessing his feeling. She could not force Snow to love Serah, it wasn't right. Not for Serah and not for Snow. No matter how much it hurt her to see her sister in pain, beating up Snow wouldn't heal Serah's distress. All she could do was to comfort her sister. Only Serah could take the next step in her life. "C'mon Serah, I know it hurts, but you cannot be weak." Lightning gently grasped her sister's face with both of her hands and wiped away the tears flowing down her cheeks.
"You must be happy now, Light. Isn't this is what you wanted all along?" Serah voice sounded raspy. Lightning had told her from the start that the man was a trouble, but she hadn't listened.
"No. I never wanted this to happen." Lightning said sadly. "I always wanted what's best for you. Even if it is with this idiot. But Serah, you are old enough to make your own choices in your life and you stick to your decisions even if they don't go as planned."
"Serah?" Snow called but the girl ignored him.
"Serah, listen to him. I cannot make this situation any better, but you cannot run away from it. You need to face him if you want to keep on moving forward?" Lightning advised.
Serah slowly turned and faced the blond, seeing a look anguish on his face.
"Serah, the moment when you turned into a crystal stasis, I lost a piece of myself." Snow said honestly with a sad face. "I continued pushing forward, hoping to see your smiling face again. I kept telling myself if I saved Cocoon, then somehow I'd get to see you again, but I was only fooling myself. I didn't want to accept that you in crystal stasis meant goodbye forever. It was... painful. It was killing me from the inside. But... I finally caved in and I realized that you were never coming back."
"Snow..." Serah whispered, feeling a tingle in her chest. Snow's voiced spoke only of sincerity. "I will always be with you, no matter the reason. I'm here. I'm back" She grasped Snow's hand and brought it to her face.
"I didn't stop believing, not for once." Snow said. "But in the end, I had to let it go."
"What do you mean?" Serah asked.
"Serah, if Lightning turns into crystal stasis when all of this ends, will you wait for years until she awakens or will you move on with your life?" Snow asked shifting his gaze to Lightning.
"I-I..." Serah's body turned cold. She turned to her sister and felt her heart sink. She didn't want Lightning to go away. A l'Cie's life is very predictable and Serah knew that their life would end in either in a crystal stasis or the embodiment of a mindless monster. If Lightning turned into a crystal stasis, Serah wouldn't know when her sister would ever wake up. A small smile crept on her face. Lightning would give her a mouthful if she chose a life waiting for her sister. Lightning would want her to move on with her life, not wallow in sorrow waiting for what could be an eternity. She felt a pang in her chest seeing the tormenting look on Snow's face. The man had made a difficult choice to keep on moving and her appearance again was throwing everything in disarray for the blond. Serah could not imagine the hell Snow went through to get over his feelings for her. Snow could not go back to the way he was before.
"As I continued with my life without you that when Hope and I began to get close..." Snow trailed off with a smile on his face, looking away from the other gaze. He felt like a love-struck sap.
"So there is no place for me in your heart?" Serah asked subtly. The man fell silent knowing he didn't need to answer that question.
"Everything will be okay." Lightning reassured gaining a mournful from her sister.
"So..." Serah trailed off, glancing to the two other women among the party who remained quiet throughout their little peek show. "Which one of you is Hope?"
Snow made a choking sound from his throat hearing the most ridiculous thing Serah had ever said. He heard a snort coming from Fang who agreed with his thought. "Hope is not here." Snow admitted painfully. "He disappeared a while ago. We were searching for him until-"
"Wait!" Serah interrupted, staring at Snow like a fish out of water. "Did you just say he?"
Snow narrowed his eyes at the girl like she had said something repulsive, then he saw the confusion in her eyes and gave the girl a sheepish smile. "Ohh... yeah. Hope is a guy. Did I forget to mention that?"
"You dump me for a guy!" Serah said, staring at Snow in disbelief. She never thought she would live to say those six words to a guy before. The girl began to ponder if the world she woke up was a dream. The man had his underwear in a twist over a guy. All the emotions she felt moments ago had washed away from her body from that piece of information. She didn't know how to feel at this new development. At first, she felt betrayal hearing that Snow had found someone, but now she felt confused. There was no malice or distaste in her mind thinking that Snow was dating a man, just confusion.
"Funny isn't!" Lightning said with sarcastically. "This idiot of all people. I nearly wanted kill him for touching that boy."
"Claire?" Serah sounded surprise. She felt warmth flowing through her body seeing her sister with a smile on her face.
"What?" Lightning blinked and saw Serah staring her.
"Your eyes. They looked... softer." Serah said with a smile seeing a mild tinted redness dusting onto Lightning's cheeks.
"It's like like Snow says. A lot has happened." Lightning coughed trying to compose herself before the others.
"Is it because of this Hope person?" Serah inquired curiously.
"I wouldn't say all of it." Lightning smiled.
"C'mon guys. We've waited long enough. We need to get going before something could happen to Hope?" Sazh finally spoke.
"So what's going to happen next?" Serah asked.
"Look!" Fang interrupted. Everyone shifted their gaze to where the woman was pointing. The entire platforms were reconfiguring. The l'Cie raised a brow seeing the same circular platform with the narrow pathway and two portals.
"Is Dysley fucking teasing us?" Snow growled. Crossing the maze was just a waste of bloody time.
"Serah, take Dajh and go take the portal to Eden. The Calvary should still be there, evacuating the remaining citizens. Find them and get out of Eden quickly." Lightning muttered.
"And what about you?" Serah asked.
"We have unfinished business to attend. We are still looking forward to our date with Dysley." Lightning uttered.
"The Primarch! He is on the other side of the portal." Serah said turning to face the teleport gate. "He said that you are here to destroy Cocoon."
"Ridiculous! Don't be fooled by his words." Lightning spatted. "We're here to save Cocoon."
"And Hope." Vanille cheery added.
"Daddy! Don't leave me again." Dajh whined sadly.
"It will be just for a moment." Sazh reassured, placing the boy on his feet. He felt a splinter in his heart that his moment with Dajh was cut short yet again. He sighed, finally getting a break after his struggles. Dajh was safe and that all that matters to him.
"I'll take care of him." Serah said walking behind the boy, placing her arms on the boy's shoulder. Her gaze met everyone and her blue eyes softened. "Promise me that we'll see each other after this is all over."
"We will." Lightning nodded gaining a smile on her sister. She took a step back to the others, widening the distance between herself and Serah. Lightning and the others watched on through painful agony as Serah took Dajh's hands and walked toward the Eden's portal.
The Narthex
"Wow." Vanille whispered glancing around the bright, small room. The area seemed peaceful and mysterious which was unexpected to her expectation. All the adrenaline were washed away from her body.
"Save the sightseeing sceneries for later." Fang muttered walking deeper into the room. Her eyes glanced around only to notice that they were alone. "The boy isn't here."
"We keep moving then." Lightning stated, walking forward. She stopped facing a short, narrow corridor with a white door at the end. It seemed like their roads had been cut short. She walked in the small hallway with the others following her lead. The woman stopped to open the white door which rose to the ceiling, revealing a much wider room. A cold gust of air blew through the corridor, sending shivers through the party's spine. Trying to remain unintimidated, Lightning continued strolling forward on a platform. She stopped to gaze around the room, seeing golden cogwheels spinning in her vision.
"It's these crystal things again." Snow muttered as walked past the others to the edge of the platform. He was expecting to see something, or particular a someone, in this room. As the blond reached to the edge, he looked down curiously to see that they were standing quite a bit above the floor. His sapphire eyes scanned to lower room only to stop in surprise when he spotted a throne made out of stone. His eyes were more focused particularly on the person who was currently sitting on the throne. Hope was seated on the stone throne. He gulped, feeling his throat becoming dry and his breathing turning ragged. An uneasiness suddenly made itself known in the pit of his stomach as memories started to delude in his head.
"Hope?" Snow whispered subtly, but the others were in earshot distance to catch the name slipping between the blond's lips.
"Where?" Lightning called out in disbelief. She and the others quickly rushed to the edge beside the blond looking below to see a familiar silver-head sitting peacefully on a throne. Lightning was suddenly overcome with relief seeing that no harm had befallen on the boy.
Waiting long enough, Snow leapt onto the floor with the others following. "Hope!" Snow called out taking a step forward, but a hand quickly grabbed the collar of his trench coat.
"Hold it there." Fang uttered.
"What? Why?" Snow complained. Hope was only few feet away. He turned to the others seeing the others staring at the boy and not trying to approach the silvery hair boy.
"Look?" Fang said softy, her eyes keenly focused on the teen sitting on the throne.
Snow turned his attention back to the boy on the throne. He quirked his brow when he saw that Hope was not looking at them but mindlessly around the room. "Hope?" Snow called out again. This time, however, the boy turned his head toward them and Snow felt his body turned solid, cold ice. He was staring into a pair of dull and empty green orbs. There was a tightness squeezing in his chest seeing those once gorgeous and brilliant green eyes so lifeless. Was he too late to save Hope?
"So my precious l'Cie have finally come." Barthandelus said materializing a few feet above the floor within the room.
"Dysley!" Snow growled with distaste in his voice.
"Your dreams and future shattered in a flash." The Primarch said as he slowly levitated on the floor beside the throne. "Those who are weak will be the first to fall."
"What did you do to him?" Lightning demanded unsheathing her blade from the holster.
"This one has been very cooperative." The Primarch chuckled placing his hand under Hope's chin, bring the boy's gaze to meet his own.
"Don't you fucking touch him!" Snow yelled taking a step forward.
"If you hurt him in any possible way..." Lightning trailed off.
"Me... my hands are clean. The boy just needed a little persuasion and a little push. It was you who hurt him." Barthandelus commended, raising his staff in the air as a screen suddenly materialized in front the l'Cies. Snow gasped at the sight of Serah and himself with others on the monitor. He felt his heart sunk knowing he had caused more pain to Hope. "The boy was reduced to tears, feeling unloved and alone."
"You filled his head with lies." Snow yelled shifting his gaze to quiet boy on the throne. "Hope, whatever he told you, don't believe him."
"Save your rattling. The boy senses aren't here at the moment." Barthandelus informed them as Hope finally stood up from the throne and stepping between the fal'Cie and l'Cie. "Though I'm more curious to see what would happen to the boy when he finally comes to his senses after seeing that he killed his fellow companions?"
"You can't be serious." Vanille gasped, taking a fearful step back after seeing her best friend taking a fighting stance. Her eyes shifted to the fal'Cie who vanished into thin air before appearing on the throne with a devilish smirk on his face.
"What do we do?" Fang asked unsure of situation. The woman was usually calm and collected during any situation, but now she felt helpless and confused. She didn't want to hurt her companion, and especially a child.
"We need to break Dysley's spell on Hope." Lightning commanded before turning to Vanille. "Distract Hope-"
"Wait Light!" Snow interrupted. "Let me deal with Hope. I'll get him back. You guys concentrate your attacks Dysley." The woman paused and stared into a pair of blue eyes, reading the emotions flashing through those orbs. There was fire and determination burning in those eyes. She nodded at him.
"Don't screw this up Snow." Lightning responded turning her gaze to Hope. The boy was the only one between them and the fal'Cie, who was watching them with a smirk on his face as the situation unfolded. Lightning clenched her teeth wanting to wipe the arrogant smirk off his face. She couldn't do that without getting Hope stuck in the crossfire. "We need some cover."
"I'm on it." Vanille's voice resonated in the room. The girl conjured multi-spell from her wrist before releasing a powerful firaga spell in the center of the room.
Barthandelus smiled as the first blow was sent among the l'Cie. He raised as he saw the fire spell intentionally missed the boy, but exploded in the center leaving only a cloud of smoke. 'Trying to confuse the target. Such a wasteful and futile attempt.' The Primarch snorted. There were only two outcomes from this battle. Either the boy killed them all or they killed the boy. It didn't matter to him which outcome arose; he only wanted to see the despair riddle on the l'Cie's face before turning into Ragnarok.
"You're mine." The fal'Cie's eyes drifted to the ceiling to see the pulsian woman leaped out into the air from the cloud of smokes with her spear in her hands. The Primarch sighed. He hated every aspects of human life, especially their survival nature to strive on, no matter how bleak the situation was. He quickly summoned a shield deflecting the woman's attack.
"Insolent l'Cie. You failures don't even deserve a second chance at life." The Primarch said in distaste.
"Over here." Lightning called as Sazh and Vanille stood beside her. The three l'Cie conjured multiple spells toward Barthandleus, but the magic only connected with the fal'Cie's shield.
"You still continue knowing it is pointless." Barthandelus informed with a sigh.
With the smoke spreading around the room, Snow didn't give much thought when he suddenly tackled Hope on the floor, pinning the boy's hands over his head, preventing the teen from using magic spells. Though Hope wasn't about to give in yet. The boy growled as he began to kick, scratch, any movement or struggles to get free from the man's grasp. Snow leaned forward adding his body weight onto the teen, restraining any possible movement.
"Hope, stop this." Snow pleaded staring into those cold and dull light-emerald orbs. He needed to return Hope back to his sense before someone could get hurt. "Look at me?" Snow asked only to gain a sneering glance from the silverette. "I'm not going to hurt you." He let loose of Hope's right hand to cup the teen's face bring their gaze together. "Just come back to me." Snow begged as the room went quiet. The man noticed the boy turned still as his chest continued to rise panting for air. He could see himself reflected into those green orbs. Hope was looking into his eyes searching for something.
"Hope?" Snow called out, but the boy only growled. With his free hand, the teen elbowed his hand against the man's face, trying to push him off from his body. Snow wobbled from the hit but quickly grabbed the hand and pinned it once again over the teen's head. Feeling hopeless again, the silvery haired teen began mindlessly struggle in frustration to push the man off from him. Snow tried to add more pressure from his weight as he leaned forward again, but wasn't expecting it when Hope leaned up and bit his shoulder.
"Ahh." Snow growled, clenching his teeth. The man pulled back onto a sitting position with Hope on his lap with the teen's two arms held in a firm grasp from Snow's hand behind the teen. But Hope did not let go as his teeth sank deeper into Snow's flesh. "Do you want to kill me that badly?"
Finally, Snow let the boy's hands free. It seemed the more he tried to restrain the boy, the worse the situation became. The boy quickly scurried on his feet, pulling out his boomerang. Snow, however, did not move from the ground. He looked up to the teen, clenching his fingers on the floor. His heart wrung seeing the rage and anger on Hope's face and it was all directed to him. "I've made a promise to a very special person that I'll find a way to make things better. To make up for all the pain and suffering I had caused from my reckless behavior." Snow said softy standing up on his feet with his arms opened. He heard another growl from the teen as Hope flung the boomerang, but Snow didn't make any attempt to move. The boomerang connected to the right side of his temple before returning back to it owner. Snow winced from the blow to his head as a searing pain began to swell throughout the left side of his body. Snow tried to remain intransigent as he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. If there was one thing Snow had learned throughout his journey, it was that he would give up everything to see Hope's smiling face. "I've said that I take any stuff you throw at me. And if killing me is the answer to fix my mistake, then I know that I make my amend with that person."
"Sn-no... Snow!" Snow's eyes quickly opened to saw Hope standing there, the lithe body shaking tremulously. He saw panic soaring across the teen's features as those green orbs became larger as they searched around the room for clues and hints of the desire situation surrounding the boy. Snow hastily ran to Hope, pulling the teen in a strong embrace. The man heard a clacking sound of a metallic weapon falling on the floor before the silverette wrapped his slender arms around his waist. Snow ran one of his hands through those soft silver locks. He gently cupped Hope's cheek, bringing the boy's gaze to meet his own.
Hope was having a panic attack. His breathing was becoming ragged and the dullness slowly died away as sparks of curiosity and confusion began to shine through those green orbs. Snow felt a pair of arms gripped on his shirt seeking comfort.
"Hope? Focus on me." Snow called out softy. He ran circles around Hope's back to ease the teen's discomfort while never breaking his gaze from those green eyes.
"Snow? Where am...I?" Hope gulped as his throat became dry. He was staring into a pair of blue eyes seeing mixed emotions flashes before him.
"Your safe." Snow whispered softy in relief, leaning down to level his gaze with the boy's. "I promise that I will never let anything happen to you."
"Pathetic." Barthandelus sneered, suddenly materializing before the two l'Cis, grabbing Hope's left wrist firmly as he released a powerful energy from his barrier, sending the blond across the room. He drifted his gaze onto the boy who had a scared look on his face. The boy quickly raised his other hand, ready to use his l'Cie magic but Barthandelus stopped any chances of action as he gripped the boy's wrist tighter, causing the brand to glow.
"Ahh!" Hope yelled out from the burning pain searing through his arm, falling on his knees. It felt like his wrist was on fire, burning the flesh.
"And here I thought I found a good use for you." Barthandelus spatted in disgust as he did not loosen his grip on the silver-haired teen.
"Let go of him, you filth!" Snow sneered, quick on his feet before charging toward the fal'Cie, only to get thrown back again from the reappearing shield.
"Hope?" Lightning called out as she and the others quickly readied their weapons to deliver an attack, but the woman and the other l'Cie halted when the former Primarch pulled the teen before him, using him as a shield.
"Seems like I still have a good use for you after all." Barthandelus snickered evilly as he rubbed the l'Cie brand on the boy's wrist.
"Ahhh." Hope cried out again, feeling the flesh on his wrist burning.
"He is speeding up his brand's rate." Vanille said, her voice quivering in terror. "If he continues this, Hope will..." Another cry slipped through Hope's lips as he fell on his knees again. The party stared in shock, unable to move to help the boy. Lightning clenched her teeth in frustration feeling helpless as she saw tears flowing down Hope's face. She tried to formulate a plan in her head, but the outcome did not look too pretty seeing that Barthandelus was holding all the key cards. In all of her life, the woman had never felt so useless.
"Let Hope go." Snow said his breathing ragged as he tried stand up with little amount of energy left in his body. Vanille quickly rushed to his side, offering aide, but the man just brushed her off. He took slow steps, limping towards the fal'Cie.
"And why should I do that?" Barthandelus inquired. "You know what happen when I do this..." He continued to chafe against the brand, earning more helpless cry from the teen.
"Just stop!" Snow yelled out in anger. He felt his chest stricken with pain seeing those green eyes filled with tears. He squeezed his finger into a fist, wanting to end the pain in those innocent eyes. "How about a trade? Me for Hope?"
"Snow, shut it!" Lightning spatted, hearing the most stupid thing ever. The man was obviously not thinking clearly.
"Really?" Barthandelus said raising a brow, gaining a short curt from the blond. "You know what I want? Bearing all the sins of Cocoon."
"Don't!" Hope finally spoke before another yelp slipped through his mouth.
Snow glanced away for a moment, his teeth clenched. He then slowly returned his gaze to the former Primarch. "If it means saving him, then I will do anything."
"Even at the risk of millions of Cocoon's life?" Dysley asked, a wide smirk slowly developing across his face.
"Yes!" Snow said, his eyes never leaving the fal'Cie.
"Please, don't! I'll be fine." Hope said, his voice cracked.
"I made a promise to you, Hope." Snow said softy.
"Don't be a Hero!" Hope yelled, not from pain, but from rage as a wave of magic slowly started to develop around the teen. Hope clutched his hands, feeling power surging through his left hand.
Everyone gasped at the sight. Barthandelus let go of the teen's wrist, even taking a step back at the sudden development. The magic was slowly drawn around the teen as the boy fell on his knees, still clutching his left wrist. No one didn't get the chance to blink when the explosion shook the room.
To be continued...
A/N: Another cliffie... please don't kill me! This is probably the second longest chapter written for this story, following the smut chapter in Oerba. I tried to update within one week but fail.
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