A/N: I still don't own the characters; they belong to FOX/Glee. I don't own Bye Bye Birdie. The songs are from Bye Bye Birdie. Also some dialogue has been taken directly from the musical - so obviously I don't own that.
"I can't believe that YOU got picked to be kissed by the one and only Sebastian Smythe." Rachel gushed during glee practice the next day.
"You're going to be breathing his air." Tina interjected, a dreamy look on her face.
"Even I'll admit that he's like walking porn." Santana commented. Kurt just blushed, not used to everyone surrounding him in envy. All of the girls were too busy speculating about how good of a kisser Sebastian is to notice all the boys sitting in the corner of the room, fuming.
"Blaine, you just gonna let him do that to your man?" Puck demanded, his arms crossed in disgust.
"Huh?" Blaine hadn't been paying attention to the discussion, too distracted by Kurt's smooth neck that looked so beautiful with the slight blush creeping up it.
"Smythe is coming to Lima. To kiss your boyfriend. On the lips." Puck leaned forward into Blaine's personal space to emphasis his point.
"I trust Kurt. He wouldn't do that." Blaine mumbled.
"Your boyfriend is a teenage boy. With hormones. And if you can gather anything from the way he's talking with the girls, he's got a huge boner for Sebastian."
"Sebastian is kind of attractive." Blaine commented, causing Puck to roll his eyes in disgust.
"Fine. If you want to lose your virginal boyfriend to someone who is about to be deported, that's on you. I guess you didn't want to protect his virtue as much as you claim." Puck snarked. Blaine turned around to face Puck, his eyes wide. But before he could reply, the girls stood up, requesting to sing a song.
"Miss Shelby, in the excitement for this afternoon's school assembly where Sebastian Smythe will appear," Rachel gushed, "we were hoping we could sing a song dedicated to him." Miss Shelby, the choir teacher, waved her hand as if to say 'go ahead.'
"Kurt, lead us." Rachel murmured as the girls fell into formation.
We love you 'Bastian, oh yes we do.
We love you 'Bastian, and we'll be true.
When you're not near us, we're blue.
Oh Sebastian we love you.
All the girls and Kurt had dreamy looks on their faces. Puck, grossed out by how a bunch of intelligent girls turned into a quivering mess, stood up and sang back at them.
I hate you 'Bastian, oh yes I do.
I don't hate anyone, as much you.
Your singing makes me say, EW.
Oh Sebastian I hate you.
Rachel nearly launched herself at Puck, only to be held back by Kurt. "Don't you insult him! You're just jealous of his talent and good looks!" she screeched. Puck just rolled his eyes and Shelby finally clapped her hands, pulling the glee club back to focus.
"You need to talk to your boy, Blaine. Our women are going nuts."
"Kurt is not a woman, Puckerman."
"He's gushing over a guy that's not you. Protect his virtue, Blaine. It's what you were meant to do." Puck clapped Blaine on the back before turning to pay attention to Shelby.
The gym was packed. Kurt sat on a chair on the stage, next to Principal Figgens' podium. Kurt had spent the entire last period in the girls' bathroom with the girls from New Directions as they prepared him for his epic moment when he met Sebastian for the first time. There was a brief moment when Blaine cornered him on the way to the gym (cornered him by accident, Puck literally pushed Blaine into Kurt who was by his locker), and told him how he didn't like the idea of Kurt kissing another guy. Kurt assured Blaine that it didn't mean anything – he was Blaine's boy through and through. Kurt kissed Blaine on the cheek before linking arms with Rachel and Mercedes and rushing off to the gym, leaving Blaine feeling much more comfortable, although Puck still seemed put off by the whole idea.
Figgens tapped the microphone, trying to quiet everyone. "Attention students," he drawled in his dry voice. "Sebastian Smythe will be arriving shortly so if you please – " he was cut off by a girl on the bottom row of the bleachers squealing "HE SAID IT! HE SAID THE NAME!" which caused every girl in the gym (and really, who knew McKinley had this many girls?) to scream at the top of their lungs. "Students." Figgens tried one more time before the loud roar of a motor could be heard throughout the gym. Everyone quieted to look towards the gym doors. Suddenly the doors flew open and Sebastian Smythe rode through the doors on the back of a red motorcycle. The whole gym erupted into high-pitched screams again.
Sebastian parked his motorcycle right in front of the stage, before pulling off his helmet and making sure his hair wasn't messed up. He tossed his helmet towards the group of girls who were silently gravitating towards him, causing a large scuffle over who got to hold it. He vaulted himself up onto the stage before he swaggered over to Figgens who was scuffling through for his notes.
"Ah yes. Thank you students for quieting down. Now. On behalf of McKinley High, I would like to welcome Sebastian Smythe – " Figgens was cut of by a wave of girls screaming. "Girls. I can't have you screaming every time I say Sebastian Smythe." Another wave of screams. "I have a speech - " Tina, who was sitting in the front row, stood up on her chair, yelling, "WE DON'T WANT TO HEAR YOUR SPEECH. WE WANT SEBASTIAN TO SING!"
The whole gym erupted into cheers again as Sebastian patted Figgens on the cheek before strolling over to center stage. The gym was quiet in anticipation. He stood there, eye-sexing up everyone in the room, leaving everyone mesmerized. The silence was broken by Rachel's unmistakeable voice, "Speak to us, oh beautiful one, tell us how you make that
glorious sound, that even now an anticipation of it has reduced me to a snarling, raging, panting, jungle beast!" Sebastian looked her straight in the eye before he winked, causing her to scream, before he launched into song.
You gotta be sincere!
You gotta be sincere!
You gotta feel it here,
'Cause if you feel it here,
Well, then you're gonna be honestly sincere!
Sebastian punctuated each line with a thrust of his hips in the direction of different groups of girls, causing them to scream and faint.
If what you feel is true,
You really feel it you
Make them feel it too,
Write this down now
You gotta be sincere,
Honestly sincere!
Sebastian turned around so his back was facing the masses and he grinded his hips against the air, sending every girl who was yet to pass out in a tizzy of repressed sexual desire. He made eye contact with Kurt, who was sitting in his chair, legs crossed tightly, trying not to gawk at Sebastian standing right in front of him.
Man, you've got to be sincere!
If you're really sincere,
If you're really sincere,
If you feel it in here,
Sebastian reached out and took Kurt by the hand, pulling him flush against Sebastian's body. Sebastian's hand traveled down from where it was on Kurt's wrist, to cup Kurt's ass.
Then it's gotta be right!
On the word 'right' Sebastian did an over-exaggerated thrust, pulling Kurt closer to him, all but moaning the lyrics.
Oh, baby! Oh, honey!
Hug me! Suffer!
By now Sebastian had turned to completely face Kurt, both of his hands on Kurt's ass, and was grinding all up on him. Kurt stood gripping Sebastian's arms, his face red in excitement and embarrassment. Sebastian gave one final thrust before he pulled Kurt so that they were pressed up against each other, every part of their bodies touching the other.
In ev'rything I do,
My sincerity shows thro'
I looked you in the eye,
Don't even have to try,
It's automatic!
I'm sincere!
When I sing about a tree,
I really feel that tree!
When I sing about a girl,
I really feel that girl,
I mean I really feel sincere!
When Sebastian sang about 'really feeling that girl' he squeezed Kurt's ass, causing Kurt to faint in his arms. Sebastian just passed Kurt's limp body off to Figgens before he turned back to the throng of girls.
If you're really sincere!
If you're really sincere!
If you feel it in here,
Then it's gotta be right!
Oh, baby! Oh, honey!
Hug me! Suffer!
You gotta be sincere!
Oh oh, you gotta feel it here!
Oh, my baby, oh, my baby, oh yeah!
Oh, my baby, oh yeah!
Well, you gotta be sincere!
As he finished his song, he looked out at the crowd of disgruntled looking boys surrounded by girls who had all passed out due to lack of oxygen from so much screaming and the sheer excitement from being so close to Sebastian.
Welcome to Ohio, Sebastian Smythe.